New Opportunities

My rather quirky pharmacist Dad was very quick to not only rattle off chemical formulas but was very adept at picking the winning college football teams every Saturday at the local betting parlor in Muskogee.  I actually think he was a latent interior designer.  Long before all the DYI programs he choose all new furniture, loved purchasing lamps and did all the necessary painting.

Perhaps I assumed at the time that Dad did all this stuff himself as Mother had the constant phrase that still rings in my ears that we were too poor to hire people to do these things.  Actually I think he did it himself because he was a very picky perfectionist.  I cannot erase the memory of my Dad in his white dress shirt, dress slacks and expensive wing-tip dress shoes painting a room with no drop cloth and nary a drop of paint anywhere in the room or on him. 

After getting married and moving into numerous rental places with their white walls and nothing on the windows I started using what I had watched my Dad do all the years I was growing up. I can remember painting kitchen cabinets, putting up wallpaper, adding moulding trim and drapes in every rental place we lived to try to make them a little better looking. Of course I did it myself as we really could not afford to have it done. Lack of money is a very good reason to develop new skills.

The house in Carrollton, Texas was probably several square feet smaller when I left it for the layers of different paint I had applied to the walls through the years.  The new house in Kansas City changed dramatically in the first six months that we lived there with lots of wallpaper and window coverings added.  Naturally I did it all myself as Dennis had the same phrase that Mother had in that we could not afford to have someone else do all the work.

Maybe it should not have been a surprise when Gary, our builder, called one day to ask if I could help him out.  The gentleman who wallpapered all his new construction had disappeared and he needed some help getting a house done - would I be interested?  Without a moment of hesitation the answer was yes. Panic would set in later when I remembered the only time I had wallpapered for a friend in Texas I hung the wallpaper upside down. Luckily she was a good friend, it didn't look too bad and we both laughed about it.

I told Dennis that Gary had called and asked me to help him out.  Having a wife that hangs wallpaper may not have sounded like something a person of his status should have but money always talked to him and Gary was the only person in the neighborhood he did not have bad things to say about.  Besides I can imagine that he liked the thought of my making a few dollars instead of playing racquetball, going on tours of Kansas City or off to luncheons while still being able to be home to fix dinner.  Score one.

Approaching the subject of volunteering at the health department was a little more difficult.  How did I manage to have both Gary and Frances from the health department need help at the same time?  Gary and the wallpaper was pretty easy but the health department was a little tricky since it was in the evening.  After not saying anything about it all weekend I came up with the plan of just calling him at work on Monday and telling him Frances needed help that evening and I had told her I would be there. It was the right plan as I could tell he was not pleased. 

There were actually times, a few, when I felt sorry for Dennis.  I always thought and told friends that Dennis would have been happier if I stayed home and baked bread.  That was never me. He wanted me to finish college and be an English teacher but was not happy when I changed course to pre-med.  His only reasoning being that he did not want me to make more money than him. The thought of me making some extra money was always a happy thought to him as long as I was home to take care of the boys, have an immaculate house, dinner on the table, laundry done, yard mowed and look like the perfect wife at all company affairs.  Remember the phrase "multitasking"?  Well I think I did "megatasking" for a lot of years. 

Wallpapering for Gary was really fun.  Wally went with me on days he did not go to Mother's Day Out and was happy playing with toys while I worked away.  The first house led to the next house and then other neighbors discovered what I did, told their friends and relatives and I realized I could get very busy very quickly.

The health department was a whole other story and one I was not fully prepared for.  I guess I had heard the term "Health Department" but never paid any attention to what it actually was.  It was just normal if you were sick or needed a  blood test, immunizations, birth control or anything else you went to a doctor's office.  Sad to admit this but I must have always assumed that everyone had the money to go to a doctor.  My very sheltered suburban life got a dose of reality rather quickly.

On Monday nights the health clinic did female examinations with an intern from the osteopathic medical school for birth control, sexually transmitted diseases and other female problems.  My job was to be in the room with the doctor while the examinations were done so Frances could do patient intake.  The first night she did both so I could get a feel for the job. There were times that first night when I actually felt like I was in an alternate universe.  

Most of the patients were teenage girls who were sexually active and had no idea about birth control, birth control methods or how easy it was to get pregnant. If they were under eighteen they had to have a note from a parent to obtain a birth control method and Frances said they never questioned a note scribbled by someone other than a parent as it was technically legal and we certainly did not want to see them come in for a pregnancy test.  They were given a three month supply and then had to return, let one of the nurses know how they were doing on it and then they could be given a six month supply.

At the end of the evening Frances asked me how I felt and I had to admit it was a little more than difficult to know what to think.  I was rather astounded that so many girls and women knew so little but at the same time most of it was a surprise to me.  I had grown up in a period of time when "nice" girls didn't, had never even heard of Herpes and thought crabs were little creatures on the beach. But I was impressed with the kindness and compassion both she and the intern had shown all the patients and hoped I could do the same.  Yes, I would be back next Monday night.

Needless to say there was never a dull moment in the Tarkington household. Wes, at age nine, was like a whirlwind at all times.  If he could not cause some kind of commotion he was not happy.  He was playing soccer and in Cub Scouts which meant a lot of time with little Pinewood Derby cars.  He had developed a passion for rockets so we spent many spring afternoons at the park blasting little rockets into the air. Everything in his day had to be a top speed, a trait all the years of race cars had taught him.

Wally, at age five, I think, just sort of took everything in.  He was always happy even though I must admit his brother did try to be his boss.  The phrase "out of the mouth of babes" was a good description of him.  On one of Dennis's favorite Sunday afternoon drives the boys were bored and arguing in the backseat.  Actually Wes was probably beating up on Wally.  In situations like this it was normal for Dennis to stop the car along side of the road and haul the boys out for a spanking.  Wes got out of the car while Wally just sat there beginning to cry.  Dennis told Wally to get out of the car but through the tears he told his Dad he didn't need to because he was already crying.  Just how do you spank a child when you are doing everything possible not to laugh?

Spring in Kansas City that first year was beautiful.  Barney was out of town a lot promoting his book and doing seminars but always called on Thursdays.  Sometimes I got the feeling he called just to get a good laugh from my funny stories. During one call he said he had an interesting proposition for me for me when he got home.  I began to hear little comments from Dennis about building another race car (since I was making extra money), letters arrived from the two medical schools I had applied to and Ninette pulled a real stunt. 

Options

When the restaurant burned down that Barney and I had been meeting at for lunch over the course of eight months I wondered what we would do now.  In a phone call he said he thought of several options which I found was a strange way to put it.

It was a beautiful almost spring day when I met him by the fountain at the Plaza.  The first thing he asked was did I have quarter, I did and he said he used to ride his bike up the the Plaza as a kid to make wishes in the fountain.  He discovered that throwing pennies in really did not work but quarters did.  It took a minute to think of a wish I really wanted to come true and pitched my quarter in.  Then he said he had three options for lunch.  One was a picnic, number two was a nice little place a block away and number three was room service in the huge hotel behind us.

I am not normally fast thinking on my feet or very clever.  Somehow I managed that day to tell him it was like Let's Make A Deal and which of the three doors would be the big prize.  When he stopped laughing and wanted an answer I asked him if he had brought a picnic lunch.  He said no so I had it narrowed down to two doors which got a little harder.  How do I tell him without losing him that door number three was not an option as there were too many other people to consider?  While he was sitting there smiling that smile of his I knew this subject would come up at some point in time.  Finally I came up with an answer and told him that I had just made a big wish in the fountain that he said would come true.  Then I told him I didn't want all my wishes to come true at the same time so it would have to be number two - lunch around the corner. He grabbed my hand as we headed off down the street and told me I was priceless. 

The little place a block away turned out to be a piano bar that happened to have very good hamburgers.  Naturally everyone working in the place knew him.  To my surprise they asked if he was going to play for them today.  He explained that he hadn't had a piano since Columbia and would come in there when they were not busy and play.  So after lunch we sat down at the piano and he started off with Billy Joel's Piano Man.  We both ended up singing until it was time to go. It was the most fun I had had in a long time.  When he walked me to the car he said I had chosen the right door and that he had never had more fun with anyone than he had with me.  I agreed with him but it was a lot more than just fun.

It was some times hard to slip back into reality after a lunch with Barney.  By the time I picked up sweet little Wally from Mother's Day Out and Wes and Ninette arrived home from school I managed.  That particular day my neighbor, Frances, was coming by.  Dennis expected dinner ready when he walked in the door at 6:00 so between a quick pick up on the house, starting dinner and checking with the kids on how their day went there was not much time to think about much before Frances arrived.

Frances lived directly behind me and was probably about my Mother's age.  I had met her at a few neighborhood gatherings, saw grandchildren playing in the yard and knew she was a nurse at the Health Department.  It was hard for me to imagine why she was coming.  Did the kids do something terrible? I really could not imagine.

When she arrived we sat in the kitchen so I could watch over dinner cooking on the stove.  She began by telling me that she was actually the Director of the Olathe branch of the Health Department just south of where we lived.  I found out they provided some medical services to people in lower income brackets that could not afford to go to the doctor.  A big part of their work was in Family Planning, Well Baby Clinics, immunizations for school children and many other services.  It was quite interesting that at the age of thirty-three that I had never really heard what a county health department did.

Frances said that she had a staff of four young nurses but because of some budget problems she was short on help especially on Monday nights when an intern from the Osteopathic medical school came for female check-ups.  She had heard I had a science degree and was applying to medical school.  Would I be interested in being a volunteer on Mondays nights?  A lot of what they did did not require a registered nurse but she wanted someone with a little background, they could teach me what I needed to know and thought I might like it.

As Frances talked I could catch all the caring and compassion she had for her clients and her job. I remembered how I had asked Dr. Chandler, the plastic surgeon in Dallas, if I could go to work for him but he said no because I would never finish school and besides he did not pay his people very well not that money meant that much to me.  I had applied to the osteopathic school in Kansas City without really knowing much about it.  Now someone was offering me a chance to help out in what I wanted to do. What other answer was there but yes?  Plans were made for the next Monday night.

After I said yes to Frances about the Health Department I knew Dennis was not going to be happy about it.  Actually he was at a point where he was not happy about anything.  We rarely ever went anywhere except a few times we went out to dinner with some people he worked with or we took the kids to the zoo, a museum or on his famous Sunday afternoon rides through the country the children hated. He endured some of the New Neighbors gatherings for couples but never made any attempt to be very friendly to any of the other men and there were very few of the neighbors he paid any attention to or liked. 

I really tried to be the perfect wife and actually got very good at it.  Dinner was always on the table at the precise time, the yard was mowed every Friday afternoon so he didn't have to do it on the weekends, house was usually immaculate when he walked in the door, laundry and grocery shopping done. One of my most memorable Mother's Day was being the only parent sitting in a slight dusting of snow at one of Wes's soccer games while he sat at home watching TV.  But I always had a happy face when he was home.

I didn't mention the Health Department the evening after Frances came over as Dennis arrived home cursing about his job and wanting to move back to Dallas. I had a few days to formulate a plan on how to tell him - forget asking permission as his answer was always a big no.  But a phone call the next day from Gary, our neighbor and builder, gave me a way to ease into telling him about my volunteer job.

Fun and Friendship

At some point when the snow was very deep on the ground Woody, the family cat we had for several years, decided to sneak out the door never to be seen again.  I spent a lot of time wondering if we would find his body laying in the yard after the snow melted.  Thankfully as the snow melted there was no body found but the boys were ready for a new cat.
Late winter is not a real easy time to locate a new kitten but after calling numerous pet stores I found some at a pet store fifty miles away.  Dennis was never a "cat person" but crying children convinced him to make the trip and we returned home with a tiny yellow kitten whose little legs looked like McDonald's french fries. The boys named him French Fry and he would become one of our legendary cats in the years to come.

Wes was doing okay in school but homework and studying would never be his thing.  He was happiest racing up and down the street on his bike with a wing on the back just like a race car or playing soccer or tormenting his brother. Wally wanted to run with the big boys but at four and a half they didn't want him around most of the time.  He spent most of his time hanging out with me just being cute and sweet.  Ninette blended into the family pretty well, made friends that lived miles away so that at fifteen she needed lots of rides to see friends and go to school activities. I knew this whole situation was hard on her so I tried not to be upset when I found my clothes laying in a mess on the floor of her room.

                                                 Ninette

One day three tickets arrived in the mail for the Billy Joel Laser Light concert at Kemper Arena. Of course I was excited.  Who wouldn't want to go see Billy Joel?  But where did they come from?  There was no return address, no note, just three tickets. Dennis did not know anything about them.  I don't think he was even impressed and was going to be out of town the night of the concert.  None of the neighbors confessed even though they usually heard his albums blaring when they came over to my house.  But there was no way I was going to look a gift horse in the mouth so the night of the concert Wally went to stay with Karen across the street and Wes, Ninette and I headed off to the arena.

Now it seems strange that I would take a nine and a fifteen year old to a concert but there was no way I was going to get out of the house without them.  The seats were pretty high up but excellent as the stage was in the center of the packed arena.  Wes, of course, had to sit in the aisle seat, then Ninette and me in the third seat in.  Just as the lights went out we all had to stand to let a guy come by to sit in the empty seat next to me.  More interested in what was going on than someone arriving late to the concert it took a few minutes to realize the guy was Barney.  That was a heart stopping moment and certainly answered the question as to where the tickets came from.

Barney sat there looking like the cat that ate the canary with that smile of his.  The concert was unbelievable with Billy Joel jumping on the piano at times and singing all his great songs while the laser lights flashed around the arena.  Even at age thirty-three I have to admit to a little jumping up and down and maybe even a little screaming.  The kids were so enthralled by the concert that they did not notice or think it strange that Barney and I had a few brief conversations or when he bumped my elbow during "Just The Way You Are" and said that that was me.  It was definitely a night to remember for the kids and I.  Whispering thank you to Barney as we headed out of the arena didn't seem like enough but all he said was that he wouldn't have wanted to miss it.

The medical school test scores finally came.  As usual with the mail I had opened what was mine and left the ones on the dining room table that I thought Dennis would like to see.  He had never asked about my test or the scores but I watched when he picked them up, glanced at them and put them back down.  He did not say a word as to whether they were good or not or what I was going to do now.  Yes, it hurt my feelings but I was pretty used to that.  

I noticed on the sheet with  the scores that I had ranked in the top 25% of those who had taken the test at the same time.  My scores were not bad in Chemistry and Biology but Physics did not look too good.  Made me wonder if many people took the test that did not get the same degree I did or were simply dummies.  Oh well, the applications were typed and ready to go to the two schools I had the scores sent to.  I also had all the letters ready to send to past professors for recommendations.  Once I dropped them in the mail it was time to sit and wait again.

I have to say that I really had a group of fun neighbors.  We took care of each other's children, pet sat if someone was going out of town and just had fun together.  Most of us were in the New Neighbors group and participated in some of the activities but the most fun were the monthly luncheons.  Once a month somewhere around a hundred women got all dressed up for the luncheon at a country club.  There was always a great lunch and a program but the most fun was the social hour before lunch. A few Bloody Marys and I got very social. The hard part was going home and cooking dinner.

Karen across the street was a gourmet cook and had several rows of shelves in her basement that were six feet tall and and the length of the basement.  It was like walking into a grocery store with boxes, bags and cans of anything you could need.  Need a cake mix to do cupcakes for a school party that afternoon - it was there.  Come home slightly tipsy from a luncheon and need something quick to fix for dinner - off to Karen's basement. When I went to the grocery store each week I had two lists, one of things I needed and one of things I had raided from Karen's basement.  To top everything off, Karen made me a much better cook since I hung out at her house a lot and began to try new things.

I hardly ever stayed up for the 10:00 news.  In fact I hardly ever had time to watch TV except for Sesame Street and the Electric Company.  But one Tuesday night I heard a report that a popular Kansas City restaurant had burned down.  The restaurant was the favorite Italian restaurant where I went most Thursdays.  I called Barney the next morning and he had heard the news also.  It was really sad as I was worried about cute Louie in his tux and all the other nice people who worked there.  Barney said he had already heard they were going to rebuild and would I meet him at my favorite fountain on Thursday as he had several options as to what to do.  I agreed and the call ended before I began to think how strange the word "options" sounded.  Why didn't he say I know several other places or restaurants we could go?

As I was getting ready to go meet Barney my neighbor who lived behind me called.  Frances and her husband had grown children and I knew she worked for the Johnson County Health Department. Frances was at work but wanted to know if she could come by and talk to me after work that afternoon. I told her that would be fine but did not ask what it was about.

Why would a neighbor I hardly know want to talk to me?  Options?  What did that mean?  Maybe I need to ask a few more questions instead of whipping up worries.