The Fun and The Not So Fun

Softball got off to an interesting start.  There were three weeks of practice to get my team in championship shape.  Three years might have been better since Wes, Wally and I played more softball in our front yard than any of the girls had. At least they knew something about baseball in that you hit the ball with a bat and run around some bases.

Did I really think they were going to teach me a few things?

The mother who volunteered to help with the team knew a little less than I did about the game, but she was very nice and excellent with the girls since she had two daughters.  I was a little handicapped in that I didn't have daughters nor did I know a lot about them.  There was just a tiny little problem with Linda helping to coach.  She had two daughters, one about ten years old and one who was only five.  Five was supposed to be too little to be on the team. Linda understood Mary Ellen was too small - Mary Ellen did not understand.

There was something about tears falling out of those big blue eyes, the smile with no front teeth and the blond dog ears hanging from the sides of her ball cap that made me realize that I was not going to be able to say no.  Besides the rest of the girls on the team thought she was the cutest thing ever and there was no reason why she could not be a part of the team. We all swore to never reveal that Mary Ellen was not six years old.  

Practice went pretty terrible to begin with.  Everyone wanted to be the pitcher except Mary Ellen, she had that little heart set on being the catcher. They learned how to hold a bat, pitch, catch and play the much hated outfield.  The newly formed league only had a couple of gloves and bats to pass out to the teams.  About half of the girls did not have gloves.  There was nothing I could do but go buy a few for the girls whose parents did not have or would not spend the money for gloves for them.  The other problem was that if we had practice at the field in Riverton I had to go pick up the girls from Palmyra or they simply did not make it to practice.  It was these same girls whose parents never showed up for a game but that is another whole long story.

About halfway into the practice weeks Dennis began insisting I come to Detroit and pick out a house.  I tried to beg off but I guess it was better to go look before we got into playing actual games.  Linda volunteered to go it alone at practice which was great.  Even though Wes and Wally were both on baseball teams I decided they were big enough to go look at houses with us.

I dreaded the house hunting ordeal.  No one can imagine how horrible these were.  I knew there was no way he would buy another 85 year old house,  the house would have to have at least a three-car garage and be much longer. It would need to be in a neighborhood where other Ford people lived since you would not want to live next to someone who worked for GM or Buick - God Forbid. That sort of narrowed the field slightly but I gathered the boys up one afternoon and we flew to Detroit for our three day house hunting allotted time.

The trip on the plane was pretty exciting for the boys.  Wes had flown once from Dallas to his Grandparent's home in Oklahoma but Wally had never flown.  Somehow I managed to get too very excited kids to the airport in Philadelphia and fly to Detroit.  The trip through the city to the motel was interesting to say the least.  Detroit was huge with lots of old buildings and many freeways.  It was going to take a lot of traveling around to get the hang of the city but also it would be a lot of fun.

The first day we got to ride around with a real estate agent who took great pride in showing us all the expense executive neighborhoods that we definitely could not afford.  Besides not being able to afford the house all the garages were small or rear entry which would not work for a race car and trailer. Of course the houses all sat on tree lined streets with sidewalks and nearby parks. Having a friend in Riverton who had grown up in Birmingham, a northern older suburb, I asked to look there.  It was an instant love affair with that town but it had the same draw backs - older homes, small or no garages and too expensive.

Made it through the first day with no tears.  The second day Dennis took the day off to present me with his choice.  Seems like the current popular place to live if you worked for Ford Motor Company was Farmington, a community west of greater Detroit.  Can you guess?  There was a lot of new construction going on in what was called Farmington Hills.  I kept looking for the hills and all I could see was flat grass covered land with the only hills created by the excess dirt from digging basements.

The builder, Mr. Rossi and his wife, were very nice and we spent the day looking at homes he had built and plans for others.  I think Dennis had already made up his mind that building a house was the thing to do.  I just had to be quiet and remember how he told me when I made as much money as he did I could pick out the house.  So he looked at plans while I would just give a faint smile and agree to whatever.  

I learned that building a house in Detroit was like ordering a new car.  There was a base price which included the basic structure including a basement, walls and roof.  Anything else is an option.  Air conditioning, heat, flooring, paint, wallpaper, lights even in the closets, a fireplace, appliances, an extra garage that is longer than usual, landscaping and even steps out into the backyard were all extra.  Just like extra bling on a car. Dennis had been listening to other Ford employees and the word was that you bought a brand new house because when you moved in two years you could get the maximum appreciation on it. He talked about it that evening and we went back the next day and signed our lives away for a house I hated before the basement was even dug.

The Detroit House

The boys and I could have stayed another day but I jumped at the chance to take a late flight home.  It was dark when we landed in Philadelphia and there was no discussion from the cockpit but we landed quite a ways from the terminal and were met by a parade of emergency vehicles including firetrucks.  They hurried us off the plane and into buses and whisked us away to the airport.  At the baggage claim area we were informed our luggage would be delivered to our homes the next day.  It all happened so fast that there was not time to be frightened until we got home.  Don't think the boys were too anxious to fly again and I looked at it as a fine topping to a couple of lousy days.
Very happy to be home!

Back to school, the Library and softball with great joy.  Busy meant I did not have to think about the monstrosity of a house being built in Michigan.  It was obvious that we would once again be living in a motel for part of the summer and no amount of discussion would make Dennis change our moving date.

The softball games rolled around and I must say the first three were hilarious.  Mary Ellen, on the instance of everyone on the team, played catcher.  The catcher garb was so big you could only see little feet sticking out the bottom and there way no way she could stoop down like real catchers do or she would fall over.  She also could not catch the ball but every umpire we got fell in love with her and would get the ball and hand it to her.  She would throw it in the neighborhood of the pitcher but it usually did not go very many feet. 

I made every girl rotate through every position except Mary Ellen.  That way they got to all pitch and play every other position.  One little girl who only wanted to pitch actually threw fifty-two balls in a row before they called the game because the other team was too far ahead.  She actually begged me to never have to pitch again.....that was okay with me.  The other girls actually consoled her when she cried after the game. The thing that irritated me was the other coaches who kept telling me what to do with my team. I just told them winning wasn't everything and my girls were just learning.  

Of course we were the laughing stock of the softball league and the girls knew it.  No one wanted to quit but they asked me what they could do.  I told them they all knew by the third game where they played the best and all they had to do was to watch the ball and pay attention.  I also told them they were the best team in the league because they were a team and no one was trying to be a star player. Just go out there and play like you really know how to.

Mary Ellen finally learned to catch the ball all though she did fall over a lot trying to get it. One girl turned into a great pitcher and all of them played there hearts out.  By the fifth game we were actually winning even though every other team thought we were a push over.  Those girls learned and grew a lot that summer.  We did not become the champions but they did get a special award for the most improved team and they could not have been more proud.  Me neither.

I was really sad when softball was over.  Wes and Wally had both been playing baseball and I did get to their games when I did not have one.  They came to the girls game when they were free.  It did seem like we spent the entire spring in the park every evening.  My Physics class was over the first part of May and I made an A this time without the terror of having to do an oral exam.  Dr. Grey was offered a position at Stanford so he and his family were moving to California.  He had to be the hardest teacher I ever had but the one who taught me the most.  His move to Stanford was well deserved.

I sort of kept the Library Board in limbo as to when I was moving so they would not hire anyone before I made some decisions.  They were okay with it as they certainly did not want me to leave.

With school over I had one more major event to pull off before school was out.  Being a firm believer that all children have a talent and they need to have a way to express it I decided Riverton School needed a talent show. This was going to be fun.

There's Always Tomorrow

It was really difficult to even think about moving.  I think I went through a pretty long Scarlett O'Hara or an Annie phase where I just simply decided to think about it tomorrow. It was rather difficult as Wes and Wally spread the word around town pretty quickly.

Riverton was an interesting community as it was not one with very many transient families.  They did not warm up well to people who moved in and moved out.  Riverton was bounded by the Delaware River, Palmyra, Riverside and Cinnaminson and in that one square mile people were born, grew up, married and died never leaving the city limits. Sis grew up on Howard Street, married and lived in an apartment in a house three doors from her family home and moved back to the family home when her parents needed assistance.  That is why it took me a long time and lots of volunteer work to become an acceptable member of the community

Dennis went off to work in Detroit the first of April with the thought that we should start packing and move in a couple of weeks.  Sorry,  the boys were not going to be out of school until the middle of June, my classes and test would keep me busy until the middle of May and there was just simply no way I was going to leave before school was over.

It took a lot of talking to the boys and letting them understand that everything was going to be fine.  That wasn't easy when I actually looked at moving as the end of the world.  But somehow I managed to keep things fairly normal just for them.  Spring baseball signups helped make that a little easier.

I will be the first to admit that my children were not great athletes.  Wes had played soccer and baseball for seven or eight years.  He did play on a championship soccer team but for the most part he was the kid who tried spectaculars plays that never seemed to work out.  Wally was the little kid at the wrong end of the soccer field playing with the dirt clods oblivious to what was going on in the game.  He was also the one who always struck out in baseball and burst into tears at home plate.  The entire team would rush out to console him so I did not have visions of glory for either one of them. Little league wrestling was too funny to even try to describe.

When baseball signups for the Riverton/Palmyra League rolled around they were anxious to join in again.  Going to the meeting there was a discussion about starting up a girl's softball league.  This met with mixed reactions from the male coaches but they finally decided to have one.  In watching coaches through the years I had noticed that it was always the coaches son's who got the positions of pitcher or catcher or as I termed them - the star positions.  There never seemed to be a lot of teaching little boys who wanted to pitch a lot of training so they could learn.  If a boy was not amazing the first day of practice he was sent to the outfield or sat on the bench most of the time.

Since the men who had daughters seemed to be volunteering to coach I figured it would be the same old thing so I, who did not have a daughter or ever played softball in my life, stuck my hand up to coach.  I envisioned a team where every girl could play any position and decide what they did best. In other words no favoritism and fun.  

Before the signups for the girls Wes spent a lot of time in the front yard teaching me how to throw a softball. I knew how to bat.  I played baseball as a kid which was why I had bandages on both knees from playing baseball at recess and went home everyday with the hems torn out of my dresses all through grade school. After all my brother had even hit me in the head and knocked me out when I played catcher once.  That had to give me credit for knowing a lot about the catcher position. At the end of the signups I had a team of ten girls ages six to twelve, a bag of bats and balls, a catchers outfit and a couple of gloves.
Even had a mother who wanted to help and the surprise addition of five year old Mary Ellen.

I got a real surprise one day when I went to Physics class.  There was to be a Physics symposium in Newark and Dr. Grey, who for the most part scared the you-know-what out of me, asked another male student and I to go to the symposium with him.  ME, of all people!  Naturally I felt honored and said yes even though I was not sure what a symposium even was. On the appointed day we rode to Newark in Dr, Grey's very well worn VW camper.  Interesting vehicle for a Physics instructor and he explained how he and his family went wilderness camping in the Catskills.  Wilderness camping may not have been appropriate in most VW campers but his fit the bill.

The symposium was a day of Physics displays and lectures a lot of which were way over my head but Dr. Grey carefully explained everything.  On the way home we had a flat tire on the Jersey Turnpike and no spare.  We must have been quite a sight sitting in the grass waiting for someone to stop and help.  Luckily a fellow VW owner came by and gave us his spare to get home with.  Needless to say it was quite a day and one that ended up being filled with laughter with someone I was not sure even knew how to smile.

Dennis was not having much luck at finding a house that was suitable.  Seems like none of the ones he had seen came with suitable garages.  
Then he had also been informed that no one lived in Dearborn.  Wait! Wasn't Dearborn the home of Ford Motor Company?  Wasn't that where Henry Ford had lived?  Weren't all the stories about Henry Ford and his refusal to let any Jews live in the city limits about Dearborn? Were there not nice neighborhoods and tree lined streets?  Oh, no one lived in Detroit either.  I suggested that maybe it would be easier to just live in Riverton and commute.  That did not go over too well except that I made him mad enough that he didn't talk to me for several days which was nice.

I did tell Mom about the impending move.  She was not happy and wanted to get on a plane the same day to come and visit.  She liked seeing all the sights and going to New York.  I told her to wait until May to come as the last thing I needed was to spend time entertaining Mother.  The one thing I did not do was to tell Barney about the move.  He would come to see me no matter where I lived so that was no big deal.  The reason I did not tell him was that in the few quiet times I had there were thoughts that perhaps I would not be moving.  How I was going to pull that one off was a real mystery but I was working on several plans.

Then there was my friend from high school in Muskogee, Lisa, who kept telling me how I could not miss my 20th class reunion which was to take place in the fall.  I had the flyer about the reunion and decided to send in my money as I really wanted to go.  Who knew where I would be by fall but at least I would be signed up to go.

Really!

There is no way to describe the shock when Dennis came home from work one day and just announced we were moving to Detroit.  If I had to be logical I would have known this would happen.  In the Ford Motor Company world it did seem that you had to move around as you progressed up the corporate ladder.  It was also well known that one of the steps up the ladder was a stint in Detroit.

Can't say Dennis was very happy about the news.  He was still kneeling down everyday facing the Southwest wanting to go back to Dallas.  Do I need to say he hated everything about New Jersey?  In four years he had managed to despise the house, made no friends and scoffed at all the people and everything I was involved in.  To him moving would be wonderful if it was only back to Dallas. Turning down a move was instant death to your career and as much as he complained about his job he was not about to quit and especially not to quit and stay in New Jersey.

I was beginning to realize why other Ford Motor Company wives were rather strange.  I had met so many wives that had moved as many as ten or fifteen times that seemed to only hang out with other company women or were alcoholics or never left the house if possible.  I actually went by one day to a lady's house I had met at a company party just to be nice and when she answered the door she said she didn't like people and to go away. Another one whose husband was Dennis's boss attended  company functions and was glad to meet other wives  even though you had met her ten times before.  Needless to say I stirred clear of them except when forced by company protocol like the one who invited us to dinner at 7:00 then proceeded to cook and drink until food was on the table at midnight.

It may sound like I am being a little selfish and whiny.  The moving around has not been easy for me and I always worry about what effect it has on the boys.  Leaving Dallas had it's fine points in that I was ready to go anywhere away from there.  The boys were young enough that it did not seem to bother them and the only drawback was my halfway good chance of getting into medical school there due to some people I knew.  Kansas City was a dream from day one.  Loved the house, the neighborhood, all my friends and could have easily stayed there the rest of my life and actually tried to figure out how I could stay.

Even with a great decorating business I was at heart a stay-at-home Mom  By working for myself I could get involved in the boys school and outside activities and be home when they got home each day. Dennis having a good job with really great benefits afforded me the ability to not have a full time job even though money did not always go as far as you might have wanted. I used to tell friends that I wished I could be happy staying home all the time and baking bread but at the same time being an independent career woman did not appeal to me either.  I was sort of lulled into a life of having my cake and eating it too.  So I did the right thing and moved to New Jersey.

Even though I remember crying most of the drive to New Jersey, hid in the house for six months and cried at the grocery store when I could not understand anything people said my neighbor, Sis, appeared on my porch wanting to be friends.  From that day on I loved everything about living in New Jersey.  I had an eighty year old house of my dreams, wonderful friends, a dream job at the Library, access to the shore, the mountains and nine Medical Schools within commuting distance. Wes and Wally were doing well in school, had lots of friends and could go anywhere they wanted on their bikes with no problems. 

Ah, life to Dennis was so simple. In the next breath after telling me we were moving he laid out the plan.  He would go to work in Detroit the next Monday, look for a house and I would come up for my allotted three days to give final approval.  In the meantime I would get the house ready to sell, put it on the market and there was no reason why in a month or six weeks we could not be happily settled in Detroit.  Meanwhile he could come home every other weekend. That sounded pretty good to him.

If I had not already been on the verge of tears it would have been laughable.  It was the first part of April.  School was not out until the middle of June and it was not logical to pull the boys out of school that close to the end of the year. Naturally I did not mention my dropping out of Physics and the Kaplan course or missing the test I had signed up for in May or finding a replacement at the Library as whatever I had going on did not matter.  I did somehow manage to put on my big girl shoes and nix the idea of moving before the end of school.

I did fairly well in conversations about the move in being polite until he left on Monday but it was difficult.  I wanted to tell him I was not moving under no uncertain terms but was not ready to go there yet.  I needed some time to come up with a plan and really decide what I wanted to do.  It did not take long for the entire town to learn of the impending move.  There were two boys who told all their friends and the word spread like wildfire. Once again I appeared positive about the whole thing when I was anything but.

Best defense I had was to just pick up and move on with life as it came at me day by day.  I certainly had enough to keep me busy that I could ignore even thinking about it and it was two and a half months away.

A couple of months before the moving announcement I was a little stressed with all I had to do.  Keeping the house picked up had become a real chore with Wes, Wally and all their little friends who came by to visit and play.  One day I had a genius idea to help with the toy explosion that appeared in the house everyday and I made a "Whoops Box".  It was a cardboard box that resided in the hall closet and anything of the boy's that failed to get picked up would end up in the Whoops Box.  If after three days the items was not claimed from the box it had to unimportant so it got thrown away (actually just hidden).
It certainly did not take more than four or five days for the two little guys to realize Mom was not kidding. All of a sudden the two of them were masters of neatness.

Not being stupid children they suddenly noticed that there was someone else in the house who tended to leave shoes, socks, keys, wallet, glasses and anything else that was not attached to his body laying all over the house. One morning there was a big commotion when it was time to go to work and low and behold he could not find his keys or his wallet. I boys were having a hard time not laughing and I knew instantly what was going on.  Wes and Wally had decided that what was good for them should be good for Dad.  We all looked high and low for the items until he was actually going to be late for work.  Wally found them in the Whoops Box - imagine that! Sorry but we could not help but laugh as he stomped out the door with keys, glasses and the Whoops Box in hand.  It was a pretty good lesson - not that they all remembered it for very long.

I think I forgot to mention that another reason I could not leave Riverton before school was over was I had volunteered to coach a girl's softball team.  For a very Dudley Dowright reason I, who had never played softball or had a daughter, was going to do WHAT!  

The Good, The Better and The Worst

Cathie

It was a good thing the twenty inches of snow melted before the next weekend arrived.  Riverton Home and School Association had managed to raise two thousand dollars for a tire playground for the kids.  In stead of a few old swings they were going to get a playground full of fun things to play on and this particular Saturday it was to be installed.

A gentleman from upstate New York created the designs, brought the used tires of all sizes and helped put everything together.  Before hand we had to make sand beds eight inches deep for each structure to be built on and purchase all the nuts, bolts, rope and chains for the installation. Even though it was a grey, cold windy day about half the parents in the school showed up to help, each bringing something to add to the hot dogs and hot chocolate we had planned for lunch.  By late afternoon the kids had a fantastic new play ground where they could climb, swing and hang upside down.

Even with my job at the Library, Physics and the Kaplan course we found a couple of times before spring to take the kids skiing for the day in the Poconos.  Somehow I had gotten over the Disatermoon - new word to describe the worst honeymoon ever which was a skiing trip - and gotten quite confident on the slopes.  The kids took to it like ducks to water, Wes flying down backwards and jumping over berms while Wally was the most determined little guy out there. Half the time I never knew where they were until they showed up at the ski lift.

The Kaplan course was interesting.  Basically it was a cram course for Medical School Entrance Test or MCAT.  It met on Thursday night in an office building in downtown Philadelphia.  I surprised at how much I really did remember of Biology, Chemistry and what I had already learned about Physics.  The class was actually very good and had a lot of aspiring and positive students in it.  Maybe all I really needed was a good dose of positive thinking and self confidence before I would take the test again in May.

Then Cathie popped up one my porch one Tuesday afternoon. She popped up quite often through the years, always unannounced but always a welcome sight.  Cathie was my college roommate at Stephens
and there was no one who was more fun.  I wrote write a bit about her and our days at Stephens in other stories.  She was without a doubt one of a kind.

After returning to the states from living in some sort of commune in India she was residing at the Himalayan Institute in the Pocono Mountains.  She was studying yoga and meditation and stayed long enough to actually become an instructor.  She wanted a few days off so onto my porch she appeared. I don't know if Wes or I was the happiest one to see her.  Wes had been in love with Cathie since he was five years old and swore back then her was going to grow up and marry her.
He instantly gave up his room and told her she could stay as long as she wanted.  Dennis was not too happy to see her.

She hung out with at the Library and went to Physics class with me the next day but when Wes was getting out of school she went and picked him up and whisked him off the the drugstore in Palmyra for cherry cokes and M&M's so he instantly became the talk of the school due to the beautiful blonde who was not a relative picking him up.  At thirteen it was a big deal for him.

Cathie had the ability to make me totally irresponsible so Thursday I stayed at work for an hour or so and we headed off to meet Erin. our suite mate from Stephens.  She was the counselor at the school for the deaf near New Hope, Pa.  At Stephens Erin had a closet full  of triple-starched shirts and pleated skirts. She also, as we used to tease her, went out with every male within a fifty mile radius.  So she gets in the car and the first thing Cathie asks her was if she had a sweetie. Erin did not even hesitate but went on to tell us how she dated so many guys looking for one she felt something with.  When she left Stephens and went to another college she met a female professor and discovered that she was gay. I was not real sure what to say but good old Cathie said that was cool. It was cool as it answered a lot of questions about Erin that we had had.  It was an awesome afternoon and Cathie and I kept in touch with Erin for years.

That night I had the Kaplan class in Philadelphia, but I sort of skipped it and just told Dennis Cathie was going with me.  Instead of class we did Philadelphia - Market Square, South Street with the break dancers on every corner, the Art Museum, and we talked.  Cathie always knew my secrets and was a good listener.  There were times when I really should have taken her advice.

Friday night Dennis, the boys and I had been invited for dinner with a guy Dennis worked with. I had been to their house several times before and dreaded the thought of ever going again so Cathie was a good excuse.  Dennis suggested I call the wife, Sally, and tell her I had company and see if we could get out of it.  My having company didn't work as we could just bring her so I tried the fact that Cathie was a vegetarian but that did not work either.  We were doomed.

Sally and Glen had a beautiful home in a neighborhood we could not afford, six beautiful daughters and Sally was a beautiful woman herself.  I got the feeling she rarely left the house which seemed to be a common factor with most of the Ford wives.  Maybe they all moved so much it made them crazy. I always said I could write a book about corporate wives and what it does to them as I met a lot of really strange ones.

So as usual, we arrived at 7:00 and dinner was served at 11:30. There was the usual additional assortment of added guests making ten at the dinner table.  The kids had pizza early and were playing games and watching movies in the rec room. Cathie was the life of the party and it was obvious that all the other guests were quite taken with her girl-next-door looks and intelligence. Cathie told Sally that her being a vegetarian was her problem and not to worry about the food and that she'd be fine.  Sally had made a center piece of vegetables that was really quite outstanding and when dinner came she moved it in front of Cathie and that was  to be her dinner. Every jaw at the table dropped. The man sitting next to Cathie was the lead violinist with the Philadelphia Symphony and he pushed the center piece away and gave Cathie his salad, Sally went nuts and demanded she eat the centerpiece at which time I asked Dennis for the car keys and Cathie and I left. Dennis did not.  Cathie and I were both laughing all the way home.  Not only did I stand up to Sally but I also left Dennis there.  Hooray for me!

I told Cathie it might be a little testy around the house the next day and she said she really did need to get back to the Institute.  Icy is a better explanation than testy.  Guess my exit and the fact that I sort of forgot the boys didn't set too well.  Glen brought them all home after dinner was over.  Cathie promised to come back soon and we never got invited to another dinner at Sally's house.  Another hooray! 

Funny but it always seemed like when things were going great for me or I was really happy about something all of a sudden the world came crashing down around me. I was doing well in the classes, happy at the Library, having fun with the boys, loved my house, loved Riverton and had great friends when WHOP the world falls in.

Dennis came home one day and announced we were moving!