Never In A Million Years

I guess a good way to start this chapter off is to let you know that you are now entering what I refer to as "The Hysterical Years".  Some may not agree but looking back I made some rather interesting decisions.  Perhaps they were not always the best decisions but for the most part they were pretty funny.

Everything was going pretty well until Charles, Wally and I went to take ice skating lessons.  One must agree that it was a little strange to sign up for an ice show after your third lesson. Especially since I was skating on my $5.00 garage sale skates and could almost start and stop without falling down. Somehow I can't remember what I was thinking.  Perhaps I thought it was just a little show with all the people who had recently taken lessons. Truthfully it was the call to "Showtime" that I was never able to pass up.

Little did I know it was one of the largest amatuer ice shows in the country.  There were no beginners in this show except in the children's number and now, with Charles and I, the finale.  It was not until the first rehearsal that I realized the cast was made up of past national champions, future national champions and people who had skated in Ice Capades and Holiday On Ice.  Standing there on the ice in my horrible skates I wanted to just melt into the ice.  For some unknown reason I didn't glide off into the hills, I hung in there....just barely.

At the first rehearsal Charles and I were given a bag with little pieces of fabric and a huge ream of paper that were the instructions on how to make our costumes.  It did not look to me that there was enough gold lame' to cover much of my body and just what was I supposed to do with all those individual sequins and beads?  Charles did not say anything but I could tell he was not very excited about all of this. Then it also became obvious that my skates were not going to work as the boot was so paper thin my ankles just fell from one side to the other  which hardly looked very professional.

To feel confident and look like everyone else a trip to the ice skate store was necessary.  Real ice skates like Dorothy Hamil wore had a boot that is about a quarter of an inch thick.  Having your feet encased in what feels like cement at first prevents flopping ankles. Then you have to purchase a blade for the particular kind of skating you are going to do.
Are you going to do figure skating, play hockey, dance or jump?  All I cared about was standing up but I opted for the figure skating blade as that made me sound like I knew something. I walked out of the store a very proud owner of beautiful  $450.00 skates. At least I could look like I belonged with those other skaters. I must add here that this particular year Heir Director thought it would be best to paint all the white skates in a flesh tone.  Something about it made your legs look longer.  I held off until the day before opening and many times yelled at until I finally broke down and painted my beautiful new white skates.

I actually dreaded going to every rehearsal which for the last three weeks before the show meant every night until ten or eleven o'clock at night and different times on Saturday and Sundays. Poor Wally had to go with as I did not know of a babysitter to call and he would just sit in the stands.  Thoughts of quitting filled my head every moment as no one was very friendly and the director scared me to death. He said awful things to everyone in the cast that did not perform to his standards which were pretty high. But there was something magical about watching the show come together and the arena slowly transform from it's hockey look into it's look like the Ice Capades. 

Making the costume was a feat in itself.  There was a costume chairman for each number and you had to follow the instructions exactly to the letter.  Every week you had to bring in what was completed on the costume so it could be inspected.  Everyone had to look exactly the same.  I learned how to attach all the beads and the tiny little individual sequins.  Since the weather was nice the back porch was a nice place to do all the beading and sequins but maybe not the best idea.  My very old next door neighbor told everyone he thought I was a stripper by the look of what I was sewing.  Nice.



The cape for the costume was a whole other story.  Made of red velvet and covered in sequins with a three foot train it was interesting.  After you got it done they wired it with tiny little lights.  The highlight of the finale was when the house lights went, off the capes lit up and there were fireworks. To make the train glide across the ice plastic was sewn to the underside.  With the plastic it glided so well if you turned a corner too fast it would sneak under your skate blade and you would splat down to the ice.  To make the lights work there was a metal shoulder frame that was hidden by your cape with two huge nine volt batteries attached that laid on your back.  So you had to deal with a gliding cape and at the same time a little top heavy due to the batteries. If that was not enough I did not know that it would take years to break the new skates in and by showtime the backs of my feet had open blisters to the point I could hardly walk in regular shoes much less skate without constant pain.

But it was showtime.  I am not a girlie girl but when I put on the false eyelashes for the first time, the stage makeup, the fishnet hose and that costume I think I felt feminine for the first time in my life.  When the house lights went out and the music started the entire ordeal was suddenly worth it. The show was three hours long and there were eight performances to a sell out crowd every night. Needless to say I was hooked.

I did manage to get some decorating work done during all the ice show happenings.  Business was starting to pick up.  One day I got a call from the only person I really liked from the Farmington Hill days, Claire.  She and her husband, Jim, had bought a house close to me that was going to need a lot of work.  The "lots of work " part sounded nice and the thought of seeing Claire sounded even better.

                                      Wally happy the show is over

The New Beginning

Wally and I settled into our cute little house in Birminham. When Bowser arrived life was pretty perfect.  We still drove to Farmington to skate a couple times a week during which time I would get a hello from Wes although he was still not speaking to me.

When Bowser arrived everyone said to cage train him so he could sleep in it at night and stay in it when we were gone during the day.  The first night we put him in the cage in wally's attic domain but the next morning he was happily curled up in bed with Wally.  Wally said he cried so he took him out of the cage.  He also cried when we left him in it during the day.  Guess we were to soft hearted and during the day Bowser had to stay in the bathroom as that was the only place with no carpet. Naturally at night he slept with Wally.

The roller skating rink was more than just going to skate to the music of the 80's but it also was a large group of "regulars" who all got to be friends. Everyone knew each other by name and also pretty well knew what was going on in everyone's lives.  Gossip was plentiful when two people started skating together too much and at times it could have been a soap opera like "As The Wheels Turn".

Charles, the gentleman who had asked me to go on a date with him when I first got the divorce, was one of the "regulars".  He was rather interesting and we had become friends even though I declined his advances. He was seventeen years older than I, Jewish, divorced for many years, a hairdresser by profession but owned a toupee shop, of all things and a pretty good skater. He always was very well dressed, had an interesting life story but his choice of cars was a little bit much as he drove a black Trans Am with one of the gold eagles on the hood.

Charles and I had known each other about a year and a half when Wally and I got Bowser.  He had never had a dog and wanted to come to see the silly little ball of fluff.  I did not see any harm in that so one Saturday afternoon he came by to see Bowser and it was an instant love affair between him and our dog. He took Wally and I out to dinner and that was the beginning of Charles becoming a regular fixture around our house.  Bowser could not wait for him to show up after Charles started buying a pound of sliced Gruyere cheese that only Bowser was allowed to eat.

It was about this same time that eleven year old Wally announced that he wanted to play either the saxophone or the cello.  Because he had hands that were a little larger than some of the other kids the band director had suggested one or the other.  The saxophone sounded like the better of the two.  I told him that I would rent one for three months and if he did not practice it would go back.  At first I was rather proud of myself for giving him a stern warning about practicing but soon discovered he was practicing because he wanted to. We bought the saxophone.

One day Charles said that the ice arena in Southfield was giving beginner ice skating lessons and he thought it might be fun.  I had only ice skated a couple of times, once when my roller skating teacher took me to Tulsa when I was about fourteen.  That was an interesting experience as I could only skate backwards on ice. Years later in New Jersey I bought a pair of ice skates at a garage sale for $5.00.  Tried them on a pond once and came home very bruised and defeated.  Maybe the third time would be the charm.

I can remember Wally, Charles and I being the only ones in the class.  Jean, the teacher, was quite patient with us although it is easier for roller skaters to switch to ice than it is for ice skaters to switch to roller.  Perhaps it has something to do with four wheels instead of a little tiny blade. I was proud of myself as I could stop and start in the first class.  Wally did well - Charles was going to need more practice.

All of us were making progress in the class when one night we noticed a lot of skaters at the other end of the arena skating around under the direction of some guy.  When I asked Jean what they were doing she said they were just starting rehearsal for the annual ice show.  SHOW.  Did she really say SHOW like Ice Capades or something?  Her answer was yes and then the magical question... Did I want to be in it?

My motto was, still is, never turn down an opportunity especially if someone is offering you the chance to be like Dorothy Hamil!  So she signed me up and Charles, not to be left out, signed up also. We were to be in the final number where they put people who could not skate all that well.  I was wild with anticipation waiting for the first rehearsal.  I could see myself in my dreams gliding across the ice like a national champion doing jumps and spins. Even made an appointment to get the Hamil haircut.

Little did I know what I had just gotten myself into.

Time To Move On

We got very lucky and found a house.  It happened quite by accident and not in area I had thought to look.  My friend, Mary in Riverton, had grown up in Birmingham, just north of Detroit, and I drove by to see where she had lived. Birmingham had huge old houses, tree lined streets, sidewalks and an amazing little shopping area.  It also was one of the most expensive zip codes in the area.

Mary had told Wally and I about growing up in Birmingham and going all through school at Cranbrook.  It is a private school on a 300 acre campus.  Both a college prep day and boarding school it is one of the county's leading schools for education in science and art.  Hearing Mary talk about it and some of the great artists who taught there of course I would have liked to see Wally go.  The only problem was the $10,000 a year tuition.  Maybe the Birmingham schools would be okay.

The house was a 30's or 40's bungalow with two bedrooms, one bath, kitchen, living and dining rooms. Of course there was a basement and the real bonus was the finished attic.  Wally claimed the attic as all his.
But the best part was that it was spotless which was far and above the other rental places we had looked at. It was the perfect size in what turned out to be the perfect place.

There were a lot of reasons why I was so happy about moving.  Of course number one had to be that this house was my choice. It was the first time in my life I had gotten to choose where I wanted to live even though it did not have a white picket fence. Wally and I loved it. The other reason I was so happy to move was that I was really tired of most of the people I had met in the world of "big houses".  There was another "Ford" family in Farmington Hills but the wife was not interested in making friends as she knew she would be moving in a year or so.  Then there was the family who moved in across the street that informed me when I took cookies over that they had moved "up" from Southfield.  You know, no matter how I turned a map of the area around I could not make Southfield lie below Farmington Hills.

The best one was the mother of one of Wally's friends.  She thought it might be fun to help me wallpaper.  I never could figure out if she was bored at home or needed extra money.  She started helping me and it was nice to have someone paste the paper while I hung it especially on the two story entryways or the curved staircases.  One job I had taken was in Dearborn. Six grown children had decided to totally redo the house where they grew up and their parents lived.  It was a little house with three bedrooms - two of which were shared by three kids each.

I adored this family.  The Dad had been a security guard at the main gate of one the Ford plants for thirty-five years.  Mom had stayed home and raised the six children.  They wanted paint, wallpaper, blinds, new bedding and throw pillows so we planned everything out.  I started by doing the paint and every time I showed up to work there was something wonderful that came out of the oven.  When it got to the wallpaper I had my helper come along.  She got treated to lunch and anything else she wanted but I noticed that she was not her usual talkative self. One might have thought she was being snooty.

When we got done and were loading the ladder into the Bronco she said to me "I thought we only did work in the big houses". Now the ladder had to go over the top of the seats at a very particular angle in order to fit.  When she said that my whole body flashed with anger and I slammed the back door of the Bronco.  Oops!  I had not double checked the angle of the ladder and I managed to break the window shield.  That unset me a bit more and we drove home rather quickly in silence.  I dropped her off without saying a word and went to the bank to get some cash.  I went back to her house, gave her the money and told her she was fired.  Best part of it was that she said I couldn't fire her. That sort of stymied me for a minute and I just walked of the porch and said "I just did".

There may have been people who wondered how I could go from the big flashy new house to the little white bungalow and be excited about it.  I think my Mother was a little surprised.  Guess I just got very tired of living in a new big house that always seemed to be hard to make it feel like a home. Or perhaps not being very happy was the reason it had been so hard. I often wondered why so many people seemed so unhappy in their big expensive houses.  The interesting thing was that it never took much time being in a house to feel how happy or sad the owners were.  The little house in Dearborn will always stand out as one that you could feel the love and happiness the moment you walked in the door.

It had been around two years since I had seen or heard from Barney. Both of us moving at the same time created the situation where neither of us knew exactly where the other one was.  I thought about him a lot and hoped he was doing well, but it was really okay that we were not in touch with each other.  It had been a really been a tough two years but it was important that I do the divorce and all that went with it by myself.  I also needed time to get used to making my own decisions.

We got moved into the house and Wally started school in Birmingham. Lots of funny stories about the neighbors.  Most were older with grown children and definitely not crazy about renters living close by.  Going to have to be good, keep the leaves raked and the grass mowed. Did I know how to throw a wild party?

The one thing left that Wally and I needed to do was to find a forever dog.  Wally wanted big while I wanted fluffy.  I had loved Doris Day movies when I was pre-teen.  Somehow I remembered her always driving a station wagon and having an Old English Sheepdog.  Hmm...
that would be big and fluffy.

Most Old English Sheepdogs are priced at $500.00 and up which I was not going to pay for a dog.  Just by chance one afternoon we found an ad for a part Old English Sheepdog puppies for $25.00.  Needless to say we called the people up in a flash.  They gave us the address which was in far east Detroit where I did not venture too often but there was no way to pass this one up. It ended up being one of those areas that even I was reluctant to get out of the car in.

Drive all over any city and you will come upon neighborhoods with big old two story frame houses that look like they may fall down any moment.  Sofas that have been rejected from the house sit on the porches so in the heat of the summer all thirty residents of the house can sit on the front porch.  Of course it was a rather warm spring evening and the porches were sagging under the weight of the residents. We braved it and got out of the car to stares from all the porches on the block.

The homeowner or renter or squatter was black with a hispanic lady but both were friendly and led us to the backyard where there were two grown female Sheepdogs and puppies running everywhere. The puppies may have been mixed breed but the grown dogs were certainly not.  Did you ever go to look at a puppy or a kitten and not come home with one?

New Year/New Life

Never being one to make New Years resolutions I really wonder now what I would have dreamed up as 1986 rolled around. The usual ones people do like losing weight, being a better Mom or working harder
might have been the normal ones to make.  Perhaps the one I should have made was to think before I did something totally off the wall.  But what fun would that have been?

My attorney called right after New Years Day and said our court date for finalizing the divorce was January 22nd. That was interesting as it was just seven days shy of Dennis and I being married twenty years.  The morning in court only lasted about thirty minutes and the marriage was officially over.  Dennis was not happy with the terms of the divorce especially the alimony.  I had tried to talk my attorney out of the alimony to no avail.  He explained to me that since I did not have a real job That would be a big help in starting my life over. The divorce decree pretty well spelled out all the terms and conditions and the only thing left to do was to sell the house and divide up the belongings.

When Dennis gave me the list of things he wanted I was not very happy.  He wanted the camera which was funny because in all the years we had been married he had never taken a picture.  Then  he also wanted an antique Victrola that I had redone with my turn table in it plus two large bookcases I had purchased.  Sounded like he just wanted to get back at me the only way he could but rather than fight over it I decided it was just "stuff".  I did keep the turntable especially since all the records were mine.

The house went up for sale but took quite awhile as it was in a new subdivision and a buyer could build one for about the same price as they could buy ours.  Wally and I settled in and waited out the future sale which was fine. I really did not want to stay in Farmington Hills when the house sold but

 wanted him to finish out the school year there.   My business was pretty well centered in the Farmington area and I needed to build it up before I moved someplace else. Plus the fact that Wally and I needed to decide where we wanted to live.

I really did not have any friends except for Claire who lived in the same neighborhood.  This was different for me as in every other place I had lived I was involved in a lot of community activities and met a lot of people and always had places to go and people to go with.  There were a lot of people at the skating rink I enjoyed skating and talking with but not anyone I wanted to hang out with or go shopping or to lunch.

There was one man who was #1 fun to skate with #2 always well dressed and #3 was a member of our Big Boy after skating event.  His birthday was Valentine's Day so a bunch of us threw him a little party.  Guess he thought I was "interested" in him and asked me to go to dinner with him.  He, as well as everyone else, knew I had just gotten a divorce and when I said no to his invitation he did not seem too bothered.  There was no way that I was ready or even had any idea of how to go on a date after twenty years of being married especially with someone I really did not know. I was perfectly happy with just being with Wally and I plus I had to think about how Wally would feel. He had enough changes in his life without a strange man thrown into the mix.

Wally and I spent a lot of our spare time looking around Detroit and all the different suburbs.  Actually I wanted to find a place with a decent school system, sidewalks, trees and anything but a new house.  It did not have to be large but enough room for a few cats and a dog.  Lucky for us the greater Detroit area had thousands that would fit the bill. I remember one in Southfield that Wally and I both really liked.  Cute house on a short little street.  Wally was crazy about the sort of chicken coop like structure in the backyard. He could imagine all sorts of neat things to do with it none of which included owning chickens.  The reason it got rejected as a possibility was the house at the end of the street. You could not see the house for the eight foot block wall that surrounded it.  The wall was complete with razor wire and cameras.  Lots of all black vehicles came and went.  Lesson number one in house hunting was to check out the neighborhood.

There was lots of time to find a new home but in looking we got a pretty good feel for the city.  As any city of any size it has it's good places and not so good places.  It was great fun to have the opportunity to see and to learn the history of each part of it.  The best part was the thought of finding a place we felt comfortable and happy in.  Better than someplace or some house you were forced into.  

By the time spring popped out in Michigan the house had finally sold, my dear oldest son was still not talking to me as I forced him to have to move out of the "big house" and in to an apartment with his Dad and we had picked out where we wanted to live.  I realized how much more I laughed and Wally actually said one day as we were driving across town that things were a lot better since the divorce.

Now all we needed was a dog.

On The Road To Different Times

Waking up in the quaint motel on the Pennsylvania Turnpike the next morning we discovered two feet of snow on the ground.  Good thing we had stopped for the night.  Even though it was the part of the country where road crews hardly let a snowflake lay on the roads longer than two minutes it would have been a tough drive.  Besides we were not supposed to be back at the house until sometime that Tuesday anyway.

It was a beautiful drive back to Detroit.  The sun was out, the roads were clear and the newly fallen snow made everything look peaceful.  Living north of the Mason-Dixon line had turned me into a person who loved winter and thought there could never be enough snow. It was, however, going to be nice to go home since Wally nor I had been home for ten days.                                                                                                   

 Pulling up in the driveway it looked pretty  much just like the garage with the house attached to it as when I had left but there was certainly a different feel to it knowing no one else would be there.  Well let's say that there were no people but we were greeted by Sylvester and Elvis, the two cats.   They were very glad to see their people but that never seems to last very long.  They were no doubt disturbed by things in the house changing.  Cats have an inborn reaction to have to investigate anything that is out of place. Put a piece of paper on the floor and they spend an hour sneaking up on it, finally sniffing and are 
never sure why it appeared.

I sort of felt like one of the cats as I toured the house to see what furniture had made the move.  Not too bad, family room sofa, kitchen table and chairs, bedroom furniture and a few pots, pans and dishes were gone.  I
would have thought that more than that would have been gone or that something I really cared about would be missing.  My guess the apartment was small and Dennis was not really thinking but
just trying to get out.  The answering machine informed me that he would be by after work to trade cars - oh boy and there were three calls about potential jobs for me which was a hooray.

Dennis showed up about 5:30 for the switch of cars I had dreaded all afternoon.  He didn't look too happy as Wally and I met him on the porch.  He had that look like he wanted to discuss something with me but with Wally there I think he knew better.  We had never really argued in front of the boys before and now was certainly not the time to start.  There was an exchange of a few pleasantries, he talked to Wally for a bit and then handed my keys to me and left. Interesting that he did not offer nor did I ask where he moved to or a phone number if I needed to reach him. He did make plans to see Wally the following Saturday which was fine.

The weeks after Thanksgiving into Christmas slid by rather quickly.  Wally was happy back in school with his friends and in Cub Scouts.  I was really busy as everyone wants to totally redecorate their house before Christmas. Of course we were still going skating every Wednesday night and some Sunday afternoons.  The Wednesday night sessions were followed by a large group of us going to the Big Boy Restaurant across the street.  I never realized that putting ranch dressing on french fries was so popular.  Not one of my favorites as I am a ketchup sort of person.  When I could manage it with work I went on Tuesday and/or Thursday mornings with the adults who used skating as a replacement for Mall Walking.  I was a pretty nice group of people.  Funny thing about the skating rink was that we nicknamed it "As The Wheels Turn".  Always seemed to be some good piece of gossip about some of the skaters and who was currently paired up with whom.

I had picked up or dropped off Wally at Dennis' several times and if Wes was home he was certainly hiding. Dennis wanted Wally on Christmas Day which I had no problem with.  Wally was funny in that he never said much about his Dad or Wes.  Wally only tells you what he wants to and leaves out anything that is or he thinks would be upsetting to you.
That Christmas he headed off with presents for his Dad and brother.  When he came home he did not look so good.  He said he had thrown up and his stomach still hurt.  When I asked him a few questions I found out quite a bit I did not know.

Evidently when Dennis started disappearing from the house back in the early fall he was going to some divorce recovery meeting at a local church. That in itself was interesting since in the twenty years we had been married he only set foot in a church for weddings or funerals. By chance in this group was a lady whose husband had run off with the secretary and left her with three children.  Dennis' trip over Labor Day with Wes was actually to go to some lake with her family.  Of course he needed six days to move out of the house over Thanksgiving and needed my Bronco.  He needed to Bronco as  they were going up north and the Bronco was great in the snow and I guess he somehow managed to move all the stuff on Monday and Tuesday although I never could picture that.

Maybe he thought if he told me he was seeing someone I would be upset.  Little did he know that it was a relief not to have him around every night after I filed for divorce. Perhaps if I had known before the mysterious drawing of the dead bird I would not have gone to the attorney and had him thrown out of the house. I also would have stopped washing and ironing his work shirts months before. He could have taken them to the cleaners or let her iron them up.

So when Wally came home Christmas afternoon with an upset stomach I made the instant decision to put a little humor into the situation.  I quizzed him on what he had eaten.  It was the usual Christmas dinner stuff except for green peas. Personally I never served green peas at Christmas since Green Bean Casserole is much better. So I told Wally that perhaps she was trying to poison him with green peas. His little eyes got big and I could tell that he was beginning to think the green peas were what made him sick. Needless to say I do not think he ever ate green peas at her house again. It got much worse through the years than peas but I always made a humorous side to everything that happened to him from then on.

Things got more interesting after the first of the year.  I was asked out on a date.  I had no idea whether to go or not since I had not been on a date in twenty years.  My attorney called an said our final court date for the divorce was the end of the month.

Then there was always the question of what happened to Barney.