Time To Move On

We got very lucky and found a house.  It happened quite by accident and not in area I had thought to look.  My friend, Mary in Riverton, had grown up in Birmingham, just north of Detroit, and I drove by to see where she had lived. Birmingham had huge old houses, tree lined streets, sidewalks and an amazing little shopping area.  It also was one of the most expensive zip codes in the area.

Mary had told Wally and I about growing up in Birmingham and going all through school at Cranbrook.  It is a private school on a 300 acre campus.  Both a college prep day and boarding school it is one of the county's leading schools for education in science and art.  Hearing Mary talk about it and some of the great artists who taught there of course I would have liked to see Wally go.  The only problem was the $10,000 a year tuition.  Maybe the Birmingham schools would be okay.

The house was a 30's or 40's bungalow with two bedrooms, one bath, kitchen, living and dining rooms. Of course there was a basement and the real bonus was the finished attic.  Wally claimed the attic as all his.
But the best part was that it was spotless which was far and above the other rental places we had looked at. It was the perfect size in what turned out to be the perfect place.

There were a lot of reasons why I was so happy about moving.  Of course number one had to be that this house was my choice. It was the first time in my life I had gotten to choose where I wanted to live even though it did not have a white picket fence. Wally and I loved it. The other reason I was so happy to move was that I was really tired of most of the people I had met in the world of "big houses".  There was another "Ford" family in Farmington Hills but the wife was not interested in making friends as she knew she would be moving in a year or so.  Then there was the family who moved in across the street that informed me when I took cookies over that they had moved "up" from Southfield.  You know, no matter how I turned a map of the area around I could not make Southfield lie below Farmington Hills.

The best one was the mother of one of Wally's friends.  She thought it might be fun to help me wallpaper.  I never could figure out if she was bored at home or needed extra money.  She started helping me and it was nice to have someone paste the paper while I hung it especially on the two story entryways or the curved staircases.  One job I had taken was in Dearborn. Six grown children had decided to totally redo the house where they grew up and their parents lived.  It was a little house with three bedrooms - two of which were shared by three kids each.

I adored this family.  The Dad had been a security guard at the main gate of one the Ford plants for thirty-five years.  Mom had stayed home and raised the six children.  They wanted paint, wallpaper, blinds, new bedding and throw pillows so we planned everything out.  I started by doing the paint and every time I showed up to work there was something wonderful that came out of the oven.  When it got to the wallpaper I had my helper come along.  She got treated to lunch and anything else she wanted but I noticed that she was not her usual talkative self. One might have thought she was being snooty.

When we got done and were loading the ladder into the Bronco she said to me "I thought we only did work in the big houses". Now the ladder had to go over the top of the seats at a very particular angle in order to fit.  When she said that my whole body flashed with anger and I slammed the back door of the Bronco.  Oops!  I had not double checked the angle of the ladder and I managed to break the window shield.  That unset me a bit more and we drove home rather quickly in silence.  I dropped her off without saying a word and went to the bank to get some cash.  I went back to her house, gave her the money and told her she was fired.  Best part of it was that she said I couldn't fire her. That sort of stymied me for a minute and I just walked of the porch and said "I just did".

There may have been people who wondered how I could go from the big flashy new house to the little white bungalow and be excited about it.  I think my Mother was a little surprised.  Guess I just got very tired of living in a new big house that always seemed to be hard to make it feel like a home. Or perhaps not being very happy was the reason it had been so hard. I often wondered why so many people seemed so unhappy in their big expensive houses.  The interesting thing was that it never took much time being in a house to feel how happy or sad the owners were.  The little house in Dearborn will always stand out as one that you could feel the love and happiness the moment you walked in the door.

It had been around two years since I had seen or heard from Barney. Both of us moving at the same time created the situation where neither of us knew exactly where the other one was.  I thought about him a lot and hoped he was doing well, but it was really okay that we were not in touch with each other.  It had been a really been a tough two years but it was important that I do the divorce and all that went with it by myself.  I also needed time to get used to making my own decisions.

We got moved into the house and Wally started school in Birmingham. Lots of funny stories about the neighbors.  Most were older with grown children and definitely not crazy about renters living close by.  Going to have to be good, keep the leaves raked and the grass mowed. Did I know how to throw a wild party?

The one thing left that Wally and I needed to do was to find a forever dog.  Wally wanted big while I wanted fluffy.  I had loved Doris Day movies when I was pre-teen.  Somehow I remembered her always driving a station wagon and having an Old English Sheepdog.  Hmm...
that would be big and fluffy.

Most Old English Sheepdogs are priced at $500.00 and up which I was not going to pay for a dog.  Just by chance one afternoon we found an ad for a part Old English Sheepdog puppies for $25.00.  Needless to say we called the people up in a flash.  They gave us the address which was in far east Detroit where I did not venture too often but there was no way to pass this one up. It ended up being one of those areas that even I was reluctant to get out of the car in.

Drive all over any city and you will come upon neighborhoods with big old two story frame houses that look like they may fall down any moment.  Sofas that have been rejected from the house sit on the porches so in the heat of the summer all thirty residents of the house can sit on the front porch.  Of course it was a rather warm spring evening and the porches were sagging under the weight of the residents. We braved it and got out of the car to stares from all the porches on the block.

The homeowner or renter or squatter was black with a hispanic lady but both were friendly and led us to the backyard where there were two grown female Sheepdogs and puppies running everywhere. The puppies may have been mixed breed but the grown dogs were certainly not.  Did you ever go to look at a puppy or a kitten and not come home with one?

New Year/New Life

Never being one to make New Years resolutions I really wonder now what I would have dreamed up as 1986 rolled around. The usual ones people do like losing weight, being a better Mom or working harder
might have been the normal ones to make.  Perhaps the one I should have made was to think before I did something totally off the wall.  But what fun would that have been?

My attorney called right after New Years Day and said our court date for finalizing the divorce was January 22nd. That was interesting as it was just seven days shy of Dennis and I being married twenty years.  The morning in court only lasted about thirty minutes and the marriage was officially over.  Dennis was not happy with the terms of the divorce especially the alimony.  I had tried to talk my attorney out of the alimony to no avail.  He explained to me that since I did not have a real job That would be a big help in starting my life over. The divorce decree pretty well spelled out all the terms and conditions and the only thing left to do was to sell the house and divide up the belongings.

When Dennis gave me the list of things he wanted I was not very happy.  He wanted the camera which was funny because in all the years we had been married he had never taken a picture.  Then  he also wanted an antique Victrola that I had redone with my turn table in it plus two large bookcases I had purchased.  Sounded like he just wanted to get back at me the only way he could but rather than fight over it I decided it was just "stuff".  I did keep the turntable especially since all the records were mine.

The house went up for sale but took quite awhile as it was in a new subdivision and a buyer could build one for about the same price as they could buy ours.  Wally and I settled in and waited out the future sale which was fine. I really did not want to stay in Farmington Hills when the house sold but

 wanted him to finish out the school year there.   My business was pretty well centered in the Farmington area and I needed to build it up before I moved someplace else. Plus the fact that Wally and I needed to decide where we wanted to live.

I really did not have any friends except for Claire who lived in the same neighborhood.  This was different for me as in every other place I had lived I was involved in a lot of community activities and met a lot of people and always had places to go and people to go with.  There were a lot of people at the skating rink I enjoyed skating and talking with but not anyone I wanted to hang out with or go shopping or to lunch.

There was one man who was #1 fun to skate with #2 always well dressed and #3 was a member of our Big Boy after skating event.  His birthday was Valentine's Day so a bunch of us threw him a little party.  Guess he thought I was "interested" in him and asked me to go to dinner with him.  He, as well as everyone else, knew I had just gotten a divorce and when I said no to his invitation he did not seem too bothered.  There was no way that I was ready or even had any idea of how to go on a date after twenty years of being married especially with someone I really did not know. I was perfectly happy with just being with Wally and I plus I had to think about how Wally would feel. He had enough changes in his life without a strange man thrown into the mix.

Wally and I spent a lot of our spare time looking around Detroit and all the different suburbs.  Actually I wanted to find a place with a decent school system, sidewalks, trees and anything but a new house.  It did not have to be large but enough room for a few cats and a dog.  Lucky for us the greater Detroit area had thousands that would fit the bill. I remember one in Southfield that Wally and I both really liked.  Cute house on a short little street.  Wally was crazy about the sort of chicken coop like structure in the backyard. He could imagine all sorts of neat things to do with it none of which included owning chickens.  The reason it got rejected as a possibility was the house at the end of the street. You could not see the house for the eight foot block wall that surrounded it.  The wall was complete with razor wire and cameras.  Lots of all black vehicles came and went.  Lesson number one in house hunting was to check out the neighborhood.

There was lots of time to find a new home but in looking we got a pretty good feel for the city.  As any city of any size it has it's good places and not so good places.  It was great fun to have the opportunity to see and to learn the history of each part of it.  The best part was the thought of finding a place we felt comfortable and happy in.  Better than someplace or some house you were forced into.  

By the time spring popped out in Michigan the house had finally sold, my dear oldest son was still not talking to me as I forced him to have to move out of the "big house" and in to an apartment with his Dad and we had picked out where we wanted to live.  I realized how much more I laughed and Wally actually said one day as we were driving across town that things were a lot better since the divorce.

Now all we needed was a dog.

On The Road To Different Times

Waking up in the quaint motel on the Pennsylvania Turnpike the next morning we discovered two feet of snow on the ground.  Good thing we had stopped for the night.  Even though it was the part of the country where road crews hardly let a snowflake lay on the roads longer than two minutes it would have been a tough drive.  Besides we were not supposed to be back at the house until sometime that Tuesday anyway.

It was a beautiful drive back to Detroit.  The sun was out, the roads were clear and the newly fallen snow made everything look peaceful.  Living north of the Mason-Dixon line had turned me into a person who loved winter and thought there could never be enough snow. It was, however, going to be nice to go home since Wally nor I had been home for ten days.                                                                                                   

 Pulling up in the driveway it looked pretty  much just like the garage with the house attached to it as when I had left but there was certainly a different feel to it knowing no one else would be there.  Well let's say that there were no people but we were greeted by Sylvester and Elvis, the two cats.   They were very glad to see their people but that never seems to last very long.  They were no doubt disturbed by things in the house changing.  Cats have an inborn reaction to have to investigate anything that is out of place. Put a piece of paper on the floor and they spend an hour sneaking up on it, finally sniffing and are 
never sure why it appeared.

I sort of felt like one of the cats as I toured the house to see what furniture had made the move.  Not too bad, family room sofa, kitchen table and chairs, bedroom furniture and a few pots, pans and dishes were gone.  I
would have thought that more than that would have been gone or that something I really cared about would be missing.  My guess the apartment was small and Dennis was not really thinking but
just trying to get out.  The answering machine informed me that he would be by after work to trade cars - oh boy and there were three calls about potential jobs for me which was a hooray.

Dennis showed up about 5:30 for the switch of cars I had dreaded all afternoon.  He didn't look too happy as Wally and I met him on the porch.  He had that look like he wanted to discuss something with me but with Wally there I think he knew better.  We had never really argued in front of the boys before and now was certainly not the time to start.  There was an exchange of a few pleasantries, he talked to Wally for a bit and then handed my keys to me and left. Interesting that he did not offer nor did I ask where he moved to or a phone number if I needed to reach him. He did make plans to see Wally the following Saturday which was fine.

The weeks after Thanksgiving into Christmas slid by rather quickly.  Wally was happy back in school with his friends and in Cub Scouts.  I was really busy as everyone wants to totally redecorate their house before Christmas. Of course we were still going skating every Wednesday night and some Sunday afternoons.  The Wednesday night sessions were followed by a large group of us going to the Big Boy Restaurant across the street.  I never realized that putting ranch dressing on french fries was so popular.  Not one of my favorites as I am a ketchup sort of person.  When I could manage it with work I went on Tuesday and/or Thursday mornings with the adults who used skating as a replacement for Mall Walking.  I was a pretty nice group of people.  Funny thing about the skating rink was that we nicknamed it "As The Wheels Turn".  Always seemed to be some good piece of gossip about some of the skaters and who was currently paired up with whom.

I had picked up or dropped off Wally at Dennis' several times and if Wes was home he was certainly hiding. Dennis wanted Wally on Christmas Day which I had no problem with.  Wally was funny in that he never said much about his Dad or Wes.  Wally only tells you what he wants to and leaves out anything that is or he thinks would be upsetting to you.
That Christmas he headed off with presents for his Dad and brother.  When he came home he did not look so good.  He said he had thrown up and his stomach still hurt.  When I asked him a few questions I found out quite a bit I did not know.

Evidently when Dennis started disappearing from the house back in the early fall he was going to some divorce recovery meeting at a local church. That in itself was interesting since in the twenty years we had been married he only set foot in a church for weddings or funerals. By chance in this group was a lady whose husband had run off with the secretary and left her with three children.  Dennis' trip over Labor Day with Wes was actually to go to some lake with her family.  Of course he needed six days to move out of the house over Thanksgiving and needed my Bronco.  He needed to Bronco as  they were going up north and the Bronco was great in the snow and I guess he somehow managed to move all the stuff on Monday and Tuesday although I never could picture that.

Maybe he thought if he told me he was seeing someone I would be upset.  Little did he know that it was a relief not to have him around every night after I filed for divorce. Perhaps if I had known before the mysterious drawing of the dead bird I would not have gone to the attorney and had him thrown out of the house. I also would have stopped washing and ironing his work shirts months before. He could have taken them to the cleaners or let her iron them up.

So when Wally came home Christmas afternoon with an upset stomach I made the instant decision to put a little humor into the situation.  I quizzed him on what he had eaten.  It was the usual Christmas dinner stuff except for green peas. Personally I never served green peas at Christmas since Green Bean Casserole is much better. So I told Wally that perhaps she was trying to poison him with green peas. His little eyes got big and I could tell that he was beginning to think the green peas were what made him sick. Needless to say I do not think he ever ate green peas at her house again. It got much worse through the years than peas but I always made a humorous side to everything that happened to him from then on.

Things got more interesting after the first of the year.  I was asked out on a date.  I had no idea whether to go or not since I had not been on a date in twenty years.  My attorney called an said our final court date for the divorce was the end of the month.

Then there was always the question of what happened to Barney.

Visit to Riverton

When I woke up the next morning it took a few minutes to realize where I was.  My watch said it was almost 9:00 which was a shock in itself as I had not slept until 9:00 since I was in college.  Then there was the smell of a turkey roasting in the oven and bacon cooking.  I quickly threw on some clothes and dashed downstairs.

Everyone, Mark, Mary, their four year old son, Joey, and Wally were all gathered in the kitchen.  I could hear Wally telling stories as I came down the stairs.  Part of his worry about the trip to Riverton was him not really knowing Mark and Mary but he seemed very happy munching on bacon and eggs and engaging with the family.  I apologized for oversleeping but they all just said after the drive from Detroit I deserved to sleep all day.

Mark was doing all the cooking for the Thanksgiving dinner.  Mary explained that Mark's parents were coming for dinner and were Jewish.  Mark always cooked when they were coming since she had never mastered Jewish cooking but only knew Episcopal cooking.  That was the start of one of the nicest Thanksgiving days I think I ever had.  One, I did not have to cook at all and two, it was certainly a day filled with laughter. Mary and Mark had one of those homes that I had termed a Kick-Your-Shoes house. 

Sometime in my decorating years I noticed going in and out of homes there were those that you would have liked to stay in forever as you felt completely comfortable the moment you walked in the door.  Others did not feel so welcome and you wondered how fast you could make an exit.  There were perhaps a lot of factors but who knows whether it was the house or the decor itself, the people who lived there or a combination of both.  Mark and Mary's rambling hundred year old house was a work in progress as Mark termed it but from the moment I saw all the lights on when we arrived the night before to the pitchers of milk and orange juice sitting on the breakfast table I knew this was a Kick-Your-Shoes off kind of a house.

Riverton whose population was about three thousand people living in the one square mile of the city limits made it pretty easy in the four years to meet every resident in town. A lot of the five days we were there are a blur since I am sure our visit was headline news in the News Weekly.  That is what happens when you become involved in every organization in town, have two boys in school and are the librarian. I think I managed to see everyone who lived there during our visit.But a couple do stand out.

On Friday following a very old tradition I gathered some leftovers from the Thanksgiving dinner and went to the Pot Luck Lunch/Craft time at Bay's.  Usually there would be about ten to fifteen people there.  In winter everyone knitted or quilted or did some kinds of craft.  Summertime it was outside with swimming in Bay's pool.  This particular Friday there were about thirty people crammed into Bay's small but homey converted carriage house.  If I had worried about how they all would feel about me divorcing Dennis those thoughts were quickly dashed.  It seemed they all had some funny story about Dennis like the time he used the motorcycle for a ladder and ended up running his arm through a window requiring fifteen stitches or the fact that there was one man in town who never learned his name but called him Mr. Donna Tarkington.  So much for my worry that they would all think I was a terrible person because of the divorce.

Of course I did pick up a piece of gossip that afternoon.  Susan, the President of the Library Board and my boss, the preppy, pretty lady I aspired to be like if I ever grew up was getting a divorce.  On Saturday morning I dropped Wally off at one of his friend's' houses and drove to Susan's.  Her house was magnificent, over looked the Delaware River, had a Butler's Pantry with a sterling silver sink and a stairway landing large enough to put the Christmas tree nestled into the floor to ceiling windows looking out on the river. 

Luckily she was home and we sat down with a cup of coffee.  I told her about my divorce and she explained her's.  One of the real reasons I wanted to see her was to tell her how I had wanted to split with Dennis when the move to Detroit came up. I had it all figured out that I could stay at the Library, live with the boys upstairs in the caretakers quarters and not leave Riverton.  But there was no way I could go to her and ask her if I could stay.  Part of the "frowning upon divorce" thing.  She and I both laughed about it considering the situation we were both in now.  She actually asked me if I still wanted to come back.  It was a yes, but at that moment a no.  Everything right then was complicated but it was interesting that perhaps if I had manged to talk to her before the move I would have still been living in Riverton.

When I got up on Sunday morning Mark had gone off somewhere to get bagels.  When he arrived home he did not only have bagels but also Lox.  Bagels I love but had never had Lox.  Being a polite guest it was very difficult to get the Lox down especially when it ruined the bagel.  Not sure how Wally did with the Lox but he never suggested that we get some to eat.  But the rest of Sunday was wonderful. Wally went off to a friend's house and Mark, Mary, Joey and I went on a tour of Philadelphia. Not much traffic on a pretty but cold day in Philly so it was fun to drive by all my favorite places in the city.  Lunch was, of course, at Pat's, home of the cheese steak sandwich, which I had no trouble in eating.

All good things do tend to have to end and on Monday it was time to head back to Detroit.  Planning an early start is nice but sometimes that just doesn't happen.  It was hard to leave Mark and Mary's as they had been so nice to us but they would be in Detroit often to see Mary's Mom.
Then a stop by Sis and Gus's naturally took much longer but there are those people you have to see just one last time.

It was after lunch before we finally got on the road and we would be late getting back to Detroit but who cared.  Somewhere in the middle of the Pennsylvania Turnpike it began to snow.  It was beginning to get dark since in the winter dark arrives around 4:00 in the afternoon.  I also never could figure out why no matter what direction you were going or what direction the snow as coming from it always appeared to be coming like little bullets at the windshield.  Not fun to drive in especially in the stupid Thunderbird that did not handle as well in the snow as my Bronco.

Wally and I made the executive decision to just stop for the night.  Since we both rather liked quaint and money was a consideration we came upon what was probably a century old motel.  Looked like just the thing with it's knotty pine walls, tiny TV and even smaller bathroom.  Since they all only had one double bed we didn't have much choice but to go for it.  One bed would have been fine but either the mattress was a century old or made of feathers as both of us kept rolling to the center all night long.  Will not say it was the best nights sleep I ever had but it certainly made for a funny memory.  

The next morning we awoke to maybe a foot of snow but hey, this was the east coast and the roads were all clear for the trip into Detroit.  I wondered how it would feel arriving home.  Dennis and I had not discussed what he would take moving out but I had decided that it would be okay if the house was completely vacant of furniture.  Actually he did not take all that much, just enough for he and Wes in an apartment.  We would argue about the rest later.  Walking in the door of the house it just felt peaceful which was nice after our very nice trip to Riverton.

Peaceful doesn't last forever as I would learn pretty quickly.
.

Road Trip

It was almost noon by the time we had been to court, the judge agreed on Dennis leaving the house and we traded cars in the parking lot. Luckily there was no time for a discussion as I had a nine hour drive ahead of me to get to Riverton, New Jersey for the night. 

Of all the people I could have stayed with in Riverton the invitation from Mark and Mary had sounded the most logical.  Most of my other close friends were from the era where divorce was not an option and they had all stayed together through thick and thin.  Mary had actually grown up in Birmingham, Michigan and was very excited about the fact that we would be living  close to her home and her Mother. She and I were the same age and could look at the world and life differently than my plus sixty year old friends.  Mark and Mary were not having a multitude of quests for Thanksgiving and that made the decision to stay with them a lot easier.

As the miles clicked past through Ohio I slowly began to feel a little more relaxed.  It had been five and a half months since I filed for divorce and five and a half months of constant problems.  I really wondered then and now how I managed to survive.   There had been a lot of surprise reactions from my family.  Mother, who could not stand Dennis, was filled with one negative comment after another.  Somehow I had figured she would be dancing in the street but every phone call was some question as to how was I going to make it one my own. My sister-in-law said she could not imagine why I divorced Dennis as one man was as good as another. Friends that Dennis and I had as a couple were no longer there. 

Sometimes when things look the blackest something good tends to happen. The last week had been pretty bad with Wally and I hiding out in a motel and then not being able to go home for another week.  Maybe I should have gone to Mother's for Thanksgiving but that did not sound like something I needed to do.  So it was Mary who said I couldn't get there fast enough for her and Mark.  If the week had been hard on me I really had no clue how hard it had been on Wally.

It seemed the further we got from Detroit the happier that Wally got.  He had always been such a good little guy, maybe a little quiet at times but then there was so much else going on that he sort of got lost in everything.  Wes, being four years older than Wally, was not crazy about having his little brother hang out with he and his friends.  Add to that the fact that Wes had demanded and gotten constant attention since the day he was born.  With Wes everything was some dramatic big deal and little Wally just tried to stay out of the fray.  When I first told Dennis I was divorcing him his immediate reaction was that he was going to take the boys away from me.  Nice thought on his part but in the months that had passed it seemed like the boys had made their own decision and maybe Wes going with Dennis and Wally staying with me would be the ideal situation. Maybe being on "only child" sounded good to both of them.

Wally wanted to know as we flew down the highway if he was going to get to see all his old friends in Riverton.  That may have sounded like a silly question to me as that was really what part of this trip was about.  I assured him he could go see all of them, that he did not have to stay with me and this trip was really about having fun. From that moment on in the trip Wally really surprised me.  
I’m I had learned from our camping trip up North that if you put Wally in the car he would tell you almost anything.  From the minute he knew he could go see all his friends he never stopped talking the rest of the trip.  I began to realize that this little eleven year old boy remembered everything he ever read or heard.  We would pass by a town and he would tell me some point of history about it.  For the first time he wanted to know what was going to happen when the divorce took place and where he would live.  I couldn't give him all the answers but assured him we would find someplace neat to live and yes, we could get a dog that we would keep forever.

It was after 10:00 before we pulled up in front of Mark and Mary's house.  It was a very welcomed sight to see every light in the house on and Mark and Mary out on the porch before we even got out of the car.  They had been having an intense game of Scrabble before we arrived and had apple pie and ice cream waiting for us.

I snuggled into bed that night very tired but at the same time felt better than I had in months. The day had started with me feeling like I was running away but ended with me knowing I had picked the right place at the right time to come.  Somehow I began to realize that whatever the next few months brought Wally and I would get through them.

OOPS....

I will start off with an apology for this entry in what some may think is a never ending saga of my perhaps rather interesting or maybe silly life.  But there are times when current life events cloud the brain and make it difficult to concentrate on past events.  More like difficult to find the time to even think.

I love to post on Wednesday's and here it is Thursday and my brain is awash in other things.  I always feel guilty when I don't get a new chapter of my life out so today you will hear my excuse.  Plus you don't need to worry that something terrible has happened.

It is hard not to spill the beans on my further adventures since last week's story but three years ago I got involved in a Little Theater.  Maybe the real word for it is addicted. Over the course of the last three years I have been in six productions, four musicals which have to be my favorite. Even though the Little Theater is a new thing for me if you have been reading my story you might remember at the age of seven my little brother and I were doing shows using the garage as a stage with chairs in the driveway for those brave enough to sit through 
(or endure) our little plays. All through school if there was a play I was in it.

Since the first week in January we have been rehearsals for "Hello, Dolly".  Don't laugh....I did try out for the part of Dolly but someone much more talented than I got the part.  So, I am in the ensemble which means I get to sing and dance, drive a total of 4,000 miles by the end of the play and have a wonderful time.

Usually I can still get my brain to go back in time once a week during the production and remember all my silly or dramatic stories.  The problem this time is that I opened my mouth and stood on my soapbox.
Dolly takes place around 1900 to 1910.  Cool, let's just break out the Oklahoma costumes which was in the same time frame was the idea until I shrieked that this was New York, not rural Oklahoma. This was not gingham and petticoats, it was not Victorian with hoop skirts and miles of ruffles, this was Edwardian with corsets and waistlines and skirts edging up above the ankles.  It was looking sophisticated  and feminine and most important great hats.

Being friends and helping our great costume lady I knew we did not have a supply of period correct lady's costumes. So, I opened my mouth and said I would make them.  Naturally I did not really mean "I" would make them all as I have a wonderful friend who sews better than I do and together we had made a few..a lot for the children's play last summer. So the I was actually a "we" and without her the cast would look like rural Oklahoma had invaded New York. Naturally I dragged her to the auditions and made her try out against her wishes.  Why should she just sit home and sew and not have all the fun of her life being totally consumed for two months.

Lucky for us the theater's wonderful costume shop has hats that are awesome and patterns were available that were perfect for the era. The real costumer, MaryAnn, has been thankful for the help.  She is great with the costumes and is already making plans for the next two productions.  Don't know if it is good or bad that her plans include us.
Doesn't sound right now that we are going to be fired.  I'll let you know later if that is good or bad.

We are now one week from opening night. There are twenty three ladies and maybe thirty some costumes about half of which are done. I think sometimes I have dragged poor Sindy into one of my silly schemes but she seems to be holding up well. If she does not kill me or never want to see me again after the next week is over I will count her as the greatest friend anyone ever had.  But our daily drive to the theater always seems to be filled with laughter when we should be practicing the songs. 

I'll go back to my story next week or just post pictures of all the costumes. That is only if I am still alive.

My idea of How Lucky I am To Be A Baby Boomer holds so true because Sindy and I have the time to do this.  I Should Have Known how much work, how much sleep would be lost and how difficult this little venture would be.  But hey, never pass up an opportunity to not only have fun but to live life doing what you want to do no matter what your age.

Unbelievable

After the camping trip with Wally over Labor Day weekend I realized that I had not cried every day for the entire weekend.  It was rather interesting that it seemed there was some point everyday since I filed for divorce when the tears would just pour out.  I never figured out where the tears came from since I was the one who instigated the divorce.

Maybe the tears came from not knowing what was going to happen next, maybe from the stress of all of us living together in the same house with no exact time frame of when this would be over. I do not think anyone who has not lived through a similar situation can really understand.  The only way I knew how to handle it was to continue on trying to keep things as normal as possible mainly for the two boys who were not sure just what was happening.

School staring was a blessing since it would put some structure back in Wes and Wally's lives and give them time with their friends.  Wally had said to me that he did not know anyone whose parents got divorced.  That was when I realized just how hard this was for him.  I told him he probably had several friends whose parents had separated and that things would get better. Sure enough shortly after school started he found a little boy that had gone through the same thing.  I do not know if they talked about their parents but Wally thought the little boy and his Mom were pretty cool since they had a pet wild rabbit named Thumper that lived in the house and would come when you called it's name.  At that point any help was appreciated (I thought the rabbit was pretty cool).

Wes was glad for the school year to start.  It was rather noticeable after he had gone with Dennis for the weekend that he was a little more snarky with me.  It was difficult to blame it all on the divorce and just turning fourteen probably had something to do with it.  There were times when I should have smacked him but I tried to be patient.  One time when I had to pick him up from soccer practice and was still dressed in a warm up suit with a little paint on it he said in a very loud voice for me not to pick him up dressed liked that again.  When he had to walk home the next day he never said that again.

One night Wally had a Cub Scout meeting and I was going to look at a new customer's home so I was going to drop Wally off on my way.  For some reason Dennis kept insisting he would take Wally which was not something he ever did.  I had the feeling Wally wanted me to drive him so against Dennis's objections off Wally and I went.  The scout meeting was only a few blocks away and after I dropped Wally off and drove almost to the client's house I noticed I had no brakes.  That was strange because the Bronco was pretty new and I hadn't had previous problems.

Lucky for me the Bronco's five speed transmission made it easy to get to the client's home and back to pick up Wally.  I should thank my brother Paul for teaching me one of the finer points of driving slightly defective automobiles when I learned to drive.  Dennis was not home when I got home but I left a note and he took the Bronco in to be repaired the next day. I had a few negative thoughts about the brakes not working but sort of just figured it was one of those things.  I did ask Dennis when the brakes were fixed what had happened to them but did not get much of an answer.


That fall was really beautiful with all the trees turning every color.  My wallpaper business was getting really busy and there were some drapes and window coverings beginning to be ordered.  I was happy about the business as my ability to ask Dennis for money was slowly evaporating.
The really bright spot happened when a neighbor asked me to wallpaper her kitchen.  Sometimes a real friend pops up right when you need them and Claire became one.  We chatted as I worked and I told her about the divorce when she asked about my family.  It must have been one of my not so great days and the tears started to flow.  Wes had been particularly rude for several days and the whole situation seemed hopeless.  Wonderful Claire had me laughing in no time by pointing out some of the humorous aspects and assuring me things would get better as she had gone through much the same thing many years before. I learned that day that even when you feel hopeless all you have to do is to look around and realize you may be pretty lucky.

It was hard to hang on to that thought with what happened the week before Thanksgiving.  It was a Tuesday night and Dennis was getting ready to go out of town on business until Friday. He did a bunch of paper work at the kitchen table the night before he left.  The next morning some of his wadded up paper had not made it into the trash can. When I was picking it up I noticed on one was a drawing of a dead bird so I straightened it out.  With the picture of the bird were the words "If you love her, let her go then hunt her down and kill her". Do I need to say that was just a little unsettling?

I thought about it and really could not rationalize it.  The next afternoon I put in a call to Bob, my attorney, and told him what it had said.  His reply was for me to get to his office in one hour. When I got to the office he had seven or eight people from the office sitting around the conference table. He then told a story about a man who came home for dinner every night and did not drink or run around.  After his wife filed for divorce he spent several weeks begging her to stay and then began not coming home or coming home for dinner and then leaving. Then he showed them the piece of paper I had found and asked everyone at the table what I should do.  The unanimous answer was to get him out of the house. 

So, Bob said I needed to not be at the house when he returned on Friday and that he would try to get an emergency court appointment before Thanksgiving. When I sort of balked at the idea as I had no place to go he explained to me that he had handled a case that was similar  mine.  One day the woman answered the door and was blown away by a shotgun blast from the hands of her husband. He told me he would never let another client take that chance as he had to live with it the rest of his life.

I really did not know what to think.  Was Dennis capable of that?  We never owned a gun or had one around.  He did have a temper, he was not happy with the divorce, could he or would he do something like that?  In the end I really could not take the chance.  On Friday I told the boys we had to leave the house but not the reason why except that I did not want to be there when their Dad came home.  Wes refused to go.  So Wally and I left and checked into a motel across town.  Bob had said not to tell anyone where we were and he would call me when he had a court date.

How do you explain this to an eleven year old little boy?  There was not a way as I could not tell him I was afraid his father would try to kill me.
I really doubted it myself but Bob had said that was the kind of thing you read about in the paper everyday. That had to be the worst time of my life and I can still remember feeling like a fugitive in hiding.  I drove Wally to school on Monday with the instructions that he could not tell anyone where we were without really giving him an explanation.

Bob got us into court on Wednesday morning.  I dreaded having to see Dennis as I knew he would be mad and professing innocence, which he did. But the Judge granted his removal from the house by the following Tuesday.  Dennis did request we trade cars as he could use the Bronco to move things.  I ended up with his Thunderbird and we traded in the parking lot.

Since Wally and I could not go back to the house until the following Tuesday we decided to go to Riverton, New Jersey for Thanksgiving and stay with friends.  Wes had decided to stay with his Dad. Truthfully I had a great sense of relief heading east through Ohio and onto the Pennsylvania Turnpike.  There were a lot of things I would find out about later concerning Dennis that may have made a difference in all of this but as horrible as the ordeal was it certainly was the right thing to have happen. 

I, who dislikes all holidays, remembers this one as very special.