Learning Lessons

In the world of the Southfield Ice Company the putting the production together took all year.  Once  one show was over the plans for the next show began. It was a good thing that for the working mother of currently two boys a lot could be done at home until the first of March.  It was at that time that the ice hockey games were over and the ice belonged to the show.  Practice began which meant every evening and all day on Saturday and Sunday until showtime the last weekend in April.

I was lucky, in a way, not being in very many numbers so practice for me was not everyday.  Also nice that I finally decided that Wally was old enough to stay home rather than me dragging him to the rehearsals
and Wes was around most of the time so he was not alone.

The bad part but good at the same time was that I became friends with the show director, Ron.  I was amazed by his ability to put all aspects of the show together.  He chose the theme, the skating numbers, the choreography, the music and the set designs. He also designed the costumes and to my fascination, made all the headpieces and hats. Instead of just showing up for costume meetings or rehearsals I found myself going by the arena during the day when I had time.  There were other women who showed up everyday to sew or help with other aspects of the show.  

Ron was a perfectionist in every thing he did.  There was good reason for me to have been quite frightened of him for the first two years of being in the show.  He was not shy about yelling at people for the slightest mistake in front of the entire cast.  Every piece of cut fabric needed to have a perfectly straight edge, every costume look exactly the same, every drop of hot glue precisely where it belonged and never was there an excuse for someone to be absent from a rehearsal unless they were competing in the World Championships.  That may sound harsh but that was the reason Southfield had the greatest amateur show in the country. 

For all his expecting perfection from the entire cast and crew he was always willing to teach everyone anything they wanted to learn.  It took me taking what little spare time I had or what time I stole from work to realize how much I could learn from Ron. What I learned from him about every aspect of the show like costume design, drafting patterns, sequining and beading, the construction of the hats and headpieces and set construction was invaluable to me in later years.  The fact fact I had led a little sheltered life and not really known any gay men was a real life lesson.  He had his ups and downs in relationships and was very open and honest when he talked about his feelings.  It did not take me long to realize that he had the very same feelings as a heterosexual person. I will always consider myself very lucky to have had him as a friend and teacher.

                                                                              Ron
The show went off very well that year with the usual sold out performances.  There were no major errors and Ron did not have to yell to much.  It was always a terrific let down the day after the show was over.  It was something you had worked on for pretty much a whole year and the all of a sudden it was over.  But I always managed to live through the "letdown" as I did have other people that depended on me.

Perhaps it is a rite of passage but there is something about being a senior in high school that makes kids, maybe more so boys than girls, think they can do just about anything.  When I was growing up the legal age for boys to purchase beer was twenty-one but for girls it was eighteen (or at least that is what the guys told me).  There were numerous occasions when I would purchase a couple of cases of beer for the guys on a Friday afternoon.  Not stellar behavior on my part but girls make dumb mistakes themselves.

One weekend in May Wes was driving the Ford Van leased from Ford Motor Company that was the vehicle they dragged the race car trailer around with.  He was off on Saturday night and went to hang out with his high school friends. He was home that evening at his curfew hour or at least close to it.  On the following Monday his Dad calls me and tells me that the van had been involved in a beer theft on Saturday night.  He wanted to know how I let that happen.  Since Wes was at school and I could not think how I let that happen he said he would come to see Wes that afternoon.  Need I say he was not a very happy camper?

Dennis arrived before Wes got home so I did not chance to talk to him first.  Wes tried to play stupid at first when Dennis told him that the Chief of Police in Royal Oak had contacted him to let him know the van had been involved in a beer heist.  The Chief of Police had gotten Dennis' name as the leasee of the van from Ford Motor Company rather than to just tell anyone which Dennis said would cause him to lose his job, send him to jail and would probably be the cause of the end of the world. He always exaggerated just a bit.  

So the story, partially from Dennis and a few admissions from Wes, was that Wes and five of his friends went to this liquor store.  Everyone but Wes went in as he had a brace on his knee from some soccer injury and some of the boys got the owner busy while two of the boys ran out with two cases of beer. The owner got the tag number of the van before they got away and the police wanted the names of all of the boys. Wes would not budge on giving out the names.  His Dad left in a fury and told him he better give him the names and the police only knew about Wes.

Wes was busy that night talking to his fellow criminals and no one wanted to have their parents find out what they did.  Wes was on the hook but I had to actually commend him for not being a snitch.  All of the boys came from really nice homes and Wes told me it was just like a prank. Senor boys do tend to have huge gaps in their thinking at times.

As the next few days passed discussions with the police Chief revealed 
that the owner of the liquor store did not want to press charges but he wanted each boy to pay him $200.00 dollars.  The police Chief did not have to think very long that wanting the boys to pay him amounted to extortion.  How dumb do you have to be to announce to the police you want to blackmail someone rather than press charges?  Needless to say the Chief was ready to press charges against the store owner himself and stated he could not even believe the heist really occurred.  That was the end of the Great Beer Heist of 1988 as I named it.  

I think the boys realized that what they had done had very serious consequences and was not just a humorous prank.  It is amazing how brains can go dead when all of the boys knew better.  I do have to admit that I had to hide in the kitchen to laugh when Dennis lectured Wes about losing his job as I had heard that when I dented a fender or got a speeding ticket for years in a company vehicle. I think the boys learned a good lesson and perhaps the liquor store owner did also. Maybe Wally, who was so terrified his brother was going to jail, learned a lesson from the whole episode.

Oh, the days before cell phones were great for excuses.  One morning I got up and Wes' car was not in the drive and he was not in his bed.  Being a mother I could think of horrible things that had happened to him.  It was six o'clock in the morning and I started calling around to all of his friend's homes.  I finally found him sleeping in one of the boys basements as he had gotten too drunk to drive home.  The rule I had set forth was that if he was going to be late all he had to do was to call and tell me.  I guess Wes was not thinking when he said he could not find a phone.  Excuse me Wes - how are you talking to me now?  No answer but I did tell him to get his little behind home pronto and I did take his keys away for the rest of the weekend.  Their can't be a worse way to spend a weekend than with your mom and little brother especially when I drove him to work both Saturday and Sunday.

Detroit was a twenty-four hour city.  Because of the automoble plants and their working three shifts a day people did activities at all hours of the day and night.  There was good reason for skating rinks, movie theaters and bowling alley to fill every corner and be open all hours.  Somehow we all like to go bowling.  It was fun, relatively cheap and pretty good entertainment.  There was a bowling alley not far from our house and was the sight of Wally's very first date.  Cute quiet Wally had a huge crush on a really sweet girl named Sarah.  He asked her one day to go bowling and together they walked to the bowling alley.  No sooner had they gotten to the bowling alley but Wally had the nosebleed of the century.  He didn't know really what to do .  Sarah ended up walking home as did Wally.  He arrived home in tears because everything had gone so wrong.  I think it took him a long time to get over his first date but he and Sarah stayed friends for years.  Wally was not the "Joe Cool" his brother was which was not all that bad as their were no beer heists in his future.

Similar to the east coast school was not until the middle of June.  The end of the school year was always fun with Wally's band concerts.  Then we would have all the Senior activities with graduation, sports banquets and of course a senior prom.  Before school was out Wes got a job at a skating rink just a few  blocks from where we lived.  Guess he decided to stay with us until it was time to go to Kent State.

Almost made it through the summer with great stories.......almost.




































                                                                                                                                                                                 

1''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''Phs time to go to Kent State in the fall.

Better Than I Thought

The New Year was always the time to pass out and receive the little plastic bags that contained what would be your costumes for the ice show once you got them made.  This year's opening number was Sun Valley Holiday, a take off of the old Sonja Heine movies.  Ron, the director, must have worked overtime coming up with this one.  The set was complete with huge pine trees and a teflon ramp for the skaters to fly down.  Thankfully I did not have to do that in this costume. Standing up was problem enough with the four foot tall fur covered dunce hat on.  Note to self: Practice more so you can wear the flattering, sexy costumes in the main numbers next year. At least I could dream about it.

Since he was nice enough to have me be the costume chairman for two of the numbers, the boy's 50's and the showgirl costumes for the Bedazzle number, that kept me busy for the next two months getting everyone lined out and making sure they all did what he wanted. Not an easy trick.  The boy's 50's costume was pretty easy and all but one of the twelve men could sew or had some one to do it for them.  I did not trust Kevin, the one who thought you could hot glue zippers in pants, so I made his costume as the sample.  The orange dresses were a nightmare.  They started out pretty simple and every time Ron looked at them he wanted more sashes or frilly stuff plus everyone was a completely different size.

Mother popped in for a two day visit on her way to the Olympics in Calgary, Canada.  Now sporting events were not Mother's favorite thing to go to but she had met some people from Calgary on a trip to California and they invited her to come.  Two days was about the right time limit for her to visit as she did not have enough time to tell me what I was doing wrong as far as work, ice show, Wes and Wally.  I think that was the year when it was not very cold in Calgary but I never had the guts to ask her how often she got the wear the full length white Ermine coat she arrived in.

Time to get serious about work since the phone was ringing off the hook.  Charles sort of came to rescue when I mentioned I needed help with the wallpaper.  His business partner had an eighteen year old daughter who was not interested in going to college or in having a full time job.  Michelle was a bit spoiled but fun to be around at times.  I never quit for lunch as once you took that brake it was hard to get back 
in the working mode.  My deal with Michelle was that I would take her to McDonald's on the way home so she tended to work harder the more hungry she got.  Since most of the clients were not home when we wallpapered as a last resort she would prowl through the refrigerator to find something. After a case of food poisoning she gave up on the refrigerator prowling. But with her help I managed to cut the wallpaper time in half.

                                   Wally                          Wes

Having Wes live with us really was a lot easier than I had thought.  They got along very well except for the usual brotherly little bouts. Wes did increase my stress level a bit as his high school was twenty-one miles across town as well as the skating rink where he worked.  He had the dream job of being the DJ at the rink and worked three or four nights a week.  Friday and Saturday nights when he worked it would be midnight before he got home. I always tried to wait up for him even if it meant watching television with my eyes closed.  I guess when I was in high school and came home it was nice to have someone there. The rink was also good to give him time off if he had a hot date or some school activity.  

Wes and his Dad still had the beginnings of a race car.  It was the same unfinished car that we drug around from Kansas City to Riverton to Detroit to Cleveland.  Dennis must have been waiting for Wes to turn eighteen and be old enough to drive it.  There were weekends when the boys would go to Cleveland or or to a drag race some place.

Speaking about their Dad, Dennis. When the divorce was final I was granted child support for Wally and alimony.  I did not want alimony but my attorney said I had to take it since I was not employed and I would probably need it.  From day one the alimony was a huge point of contention with Dennis.  I knew what he made and did realize that it was a big chunk to pay out each month.  Most of his animosity towards me was due to that.  When Wes came to live with me I certainly did not ask for child support since Wes had a job and his Dad did give him spending money or bought clothes or fixed his car. Even with my not asking for more money for Wes Dennis still could not carry on a civil conversation with me.  Oh, I guess we did not have civil conversations for years when we were married.

I think I wrote that renting the apartment in the Dearborn house would prove to be a mistake. What an understatement!  It did not take long for the phone calls to start coming from both of the two gals.  One night at 2:00 Hailey called to tell me that the girl downstairs was a screamer during sex.  I think she even tried to get the phone some place where I could hear. Then there were calls over whose turn it was to mow the lawn, they divided the basement into halves up to the washer driver and Hailey was not too good about paying rent.  When I took the time to drive twenty-four miles to settle some argument about something stupid all would be quiet for awhile.  Maybe being a landlord was not my calling in life.  Maybe I am too nice for this sort of endeavor.

Much to the dismay of the boys, especially Wes, we got through the winter without a single day of school being closed due to snow.  It snowed several days a week and we all got practice shoveling.  Actually I thought it was good exercise but no one else agreed with that.  It was really nice when spring came.  At the first hint of warm weather and no snow Wally and I sort of found a Volkswagon convertible that we could not live without. It ran very well but certainly had some body issues. It was a little rusty in places which is not unusual for Michigan and then there was not exactly much of a floor in it that did not have huge holes.

We would put Bowser in the back seat, put the top down and carefully place our feet someplace where they did not drag on the pavement and go for rides. The only time I worried about not having a current license,
inspection, all the brake lights or insurance was one time when we were at a Dunkin' Donuts enjoying some sweets when two police cars pulled up and the officers came into the store. We could have left the building and walked down the street like it was not our car but there poor Bowser sat in the backseat waiting for us. So we finished our donuts while happily watching the police officers order some for themselves then we made a break for it.  Maybe the officers only had donuts on their mind and not looking for criminals with a completely illegal vehicle.  Years later Wally developed the theory that you should only buy a $400.00 car and drive it until it dies and then go get another one.
Wes was always driving a new Capri, Mustang, Bronco or something thanks to his Dad but Wally was always happy with a car that would start and four wheels that would roll. Smart Boy!

Half way through Wes senior year there had not been an major problems.  Actually I can remember lots of laughter and fun.  I was blessed with two pretty good kids and each very talented in their own way.  

Could I possibly be so lucky to have the second half of the school year go so well?

Thinking the Worse Can Lead To The Best

Having Wes move in with Wally and I taught me one thing about myself, I was very good at pre-worrying.  For the weeks between when I said yes to him staying with us for his senior year and when he moved in I spent a lot of time letting bad scenarios run through my mind of all the things that could go wrong.  Wally was going to have to share he attic sanctuary with his brother, the four year age difference had always caused conflicts, Wes had not been happy with me over the divorce and on and on. Maybe thinking all the worst things that could happen helped things to go pretty smooth and maybe we all worked a little harder to make it that way.

When Wes had started talking to me a few months earlier he began to tell me stories about Dennis' new wife, Ann.  His favorite was that his room at their house was in the basement close to the washer and dryer.  He said she always dried tennis shoes in the dryer very early in the morning to wake him up or how he was not allowed on carpeted areas of the house.  How true the stories were I was not sure but in some of my conversations with his Dad  I could almost imagine there might be some truth to them. Perhaps there was a lot of truth that the blending of families in a second marriage does not always go well especially since Ann had three perfect children of her own. Luckily I had no interaction with Ann as I would have made matters worse being the Mother bear protecting her cubs.

School started a few days after Labor Day and we all settled into a pretty normal routine. Wally surprised me when school started by announcing that he wanted to go out for football.  For any other thirteen year old boy this might had been very normal but hey, we are talking about Wally. The boy who was more interested in the dirt clods on the soccer field than where the ball was, the boy who burst into tears every time he struck out in baseball and the boy I am not sure ever watched a football game.

We had a serious discussion about playing football.  Evidently they wanted him on the team since he was a pretty good size for his age and had big hands. I had a hard time pointing out to him he was not the "jock" type but that was hard without pointing out all his past failures in sports.  I did tell him that if he did want to go out for football it was a commitment and he had to sty with it and could not quit. He happily agreed.

I had to pick him up after practice and usually got there a little early so I could watch.  The first few days went pretty well then it got a little grim.  By the third day he wanted to quit but I reminded him he had made a commitment and that was that.  It is pretty awful of me but I, not being a football fan myself, would sit in the car watching the practice and laugh so hard tears came to my eyes. By Friday I could tell by the way he moved during practice that he was miserable.  To me the funniest part was the running in place in uniform at the end of every practice.  I know it is supposed to build up your leg muscles but really - there is not much that makes me laugh more to this day.  He appeared that afternoon in tears after the practice. I asked him why he even went out for football in the first place.  His answer was that he thought girls would like him. Putting on my caring mother hat I told him that he looked much cuter in the band uniform and that once girls realized what a sweet boy he was they would all love him and yes, he could quit football.

Maybe Wally thought he had to play football since his brother was the sport person on the family.  Wes played soccer, baseball, some track and was on a speed skating team.  Wes was also the ladies man who had little girls after him since he was in grade school. Wes' idea of a great date was to bring a girl home to our house for dinner and then go to a movie or some place else.  Pretty smart when you think how much money he saved by bring them home for dinner. I always tried to make a great meal when I knew one was coming and Wally and I had great fun in checking the girls out. It was probably quite scary for the girls to come to dinner with us and sometimes Charles.  We nicknamed them according to how they ate.  One girl we called Birdie and she usually only ate one bite of food and another one was Miss Starving as she keep eating and eating to avoid talking to us.

September, of course, was when Ron made decisions as to who got to be in charge of what costume for the next show in the spring. He must have decided I was capable or he was short on costume chairman as he assigned me two different ones. He made it sound reasonable as the male 50's costume was pretty simple and since I was in the Bedazzle number I could do that one too.  He even gave me three weeks instead of two to get the samples done.  Nice.

Just as my decorating business was getting pretty busy I got a call from a gal who wanted to rent the upstairs apartment at the Dearborn house.  That was a bummer as I had put off fixing two things that had to be done to get a Certificate of Occupancy from the city of Dearborn.  Seems like the kitchen sink upstairs had to have a garbage disposer and the back stairs needed to be removed.  Sounds easy enough except the sink had a very small drain that would not fit a disposer.  Why the back stairs were illegal I really argued with the guy about. If there was a fire downstairs the back stairs could be the only escape route but there was no arguing with the inspector.

Wally and Wes helped me with the sink which was no easy trick.  I had to redo a lot of the plumbing to get the larger pipe in plus the old style faucet was wall mounted which was now illegal.  Life could have been a lot simpler if I had hired a plumber but it also would have been a lot more expensive.  I have often wondered how many years the patched plumbing lasted and how many curse words were hurtled my way when the whole mess fell apart.

The boys went to Cleveland to see their Dad one weekend and I got Charles to help me with the backstairs. To say that Charles was mechanically or carpentry inclined was to trust my cat, Elvis, to cook dinner. Although I no had idea how to get two-story stairs off the back of a house at least I knew what a hammer and a screw driver was.  After much debate as to the correct way to do it we managed to have the whole thing crash to the ground smashing part of the fence and a couple of rose bushes. At least it was down and taking it apart was pretty simple and Charles had his first taste of deconstruction.

The new tenant was a girl I had met in the last ice show.  She was a pretty good skater but totally inept at sewing and pretty inept at everything else as I was going to learn.  Remember how I have said I made some pretty dumb mistakes? This was a big one as I was to learn but I should have known from the beginning when she could only pay one months rent and not two.  That was just the beginning.

My interior design business was booming and I knew I needed to hire someone to help with the wallpaper.  Two-story entry ways were not easy to do by myself.  By the time Christmas rolled around I just wanted a vacation.  Mother had called and suggested we come to Oklahoma for Christmas and that she was trying to get the whole family to come.  Charles was going to New York for the holidays and I was not going to leave the boys so we decided to make the trip. Besides I could not remember the last time both my brothers and their families had all gotten together.

If you needed a pet to board someplace for the holidays I guess you needed to make reservations for them in July.  I could not find any place to board Bowser.  Mom said it was okay to bring him so I took him to a groomer for the first time and they made him look like a real Old English Sheep Dog.  He was all fluffy, smelled great and looked like a show dog all at the cost of $60.00. When we loaded up the Bronco Bowser was so fluffy he took up most of the back seat which caused a lot of complaining from both Wes and Wally about not having enough room.

I do have to say that it was a pretty good Christmas and really fun to see both my brothers and most of their families. It was pretty rare when we all actually got together which probably was for a lot of reasons.  Mother was on her best behavior as with everyone there she did not have time to point out all of our failing points.  There were also a lot of issues between both of my brothers wives but they even managed to act civil to each other. Most of the problems stemmed from Mother's habit of having one favorite child at a time and ignoring the other two.  Personally I preffered to not be the favorite as my life was much nicer when she didn't like me so much.

The best part of Christmas was Christmas dinner at Jimmy's.  He and Mom had been together for about ten years.  He owned restaurants, did huge catering parties and weddings and owned one of the finest flower shops in Oklahoma City.  He had never been married or had children and I think he really enjoyed all of us. Plus he was a very social person and Mom got introduced to a whole world of social events she had never known.  It was an interesting relationship but you know what they say, "as long as Mother is happy, everyone is happy".

Jimmy also had a fantastic house with a killer kitchen.  He cooked the dinner which was unbelievable.  We also have the only family portrait that was ever made of us that day. It was one of those Christmas Days you wished happened every year.

The only bad thing that happened was that a few minutes after we arrived at Mom's she suggested we put her dog, Humphrey and Bowser in the pool house so they could get used to each other.  Humphrey, who was a little Schnauzer attacked Bowser and he fell into the swimming pool. So much for the $60.00 hairdo and so much for Bowser as Mother rushed him off to a kennel the next morning.  That got my dander up a bit but it was better than trying to keep them apart for the duration of the visit.

The trip home was interesting as we decided to go a different route and ended up in snow and ice.  We stopped for the night in Des Moines and could not find a motel that took pets.  The last one we went to we did not tell them we had a dog and figured we would just sneak him in.  Nice that they gave us a room on the second floor so we could use the outside steps to sneak him in.  Bowser had an aversion to steps that had an open back so it was great fun to go up and down the snow covered steps carrying a seventy pound dog. Oh, the things you do for your pets!

It was nice to be home although even with the Bowser problems we had a great time. I felt like it was going to be a happy 1988 New Year. After all we survived the past one in pretty good shape.

Summer of '86

It had been a nice relaxing weekend camping with Charles and Bowser but it was nice to come home.  The answering machine was glad I was home as it probably wanted to explode with all the calls that had arrived.  Mostly business for wallpaper, draperies, bedding and painting. That was a good thing as it would keep me busy and I could use the income.

There was also a call from Mother.  She bought wallpaper for one of her bathrooms and wanted me to come and hang it.  Guess there were no wallpaper hangers in Oklahoma City.  There was also a couple of calls from Wes making it sound a little urgent.  One call from a client or a child did not throw up any red flags, more then one in a short time frame did make me stop and wonder what was going on. At least there was not one from Wally wanting to come home after only a week in the wilderness.

I did not return any calls until the next morning.  Sort of fudged a little with Mother on when I could come since Wally was not home and I had quite a bit of work to do.  Going to Oklahoma was not a bad idea as Wally had not seen Dennis' parents since the wedding and he was really fond of them.  Although I am quite sure Mother would have preferred that I come without Wally so she could only have me to boss around.

Wes, on the other hand, had some interesting news and an even more interesting question.  His Dad was being transferred to Cleveland.  Wes was going to be a senior the next year and really did not want to change schools.  I couldn't blame him as we had moved him four different places and schools already.  The only alternative was to come and live with me. I had mixed emotions about it but told him I was sure we could work something out.  There was still a little hurt on my part because of him not speaking to me for almost a year after the divorce and maybe it would be good for Wes and Wally to spend more time together.

As I spent most of the day on the phone scheduling visits to see all the new clients that had called I had to think how lucky I was to have the business to the point where it almost could support Wally and I with the help of child support and alimony. I never advertised the business so it spread by word of mouth. Not the career path I had wanted but one that really worked for me.  I was one of those women who loved being a Mom and having the freedom to be there to go to school stuff and little league games (not my favorite). At the same time I always managed to have some little home based business where I could still have time with the boys and go to the swimming pool in the summer and play in the snow with them in the winter. Guess that was Women's Lib for me. Even when I had the Librarian job in New Jersey I could still take off whenever there was something going on at school since I had an army of volunteers that loved to run the Library without me. 

In the two weeks before Wally got home from camp I had taken care of most the work from all the new clients.  I only saw Charles twice when we met at the skating rink on Wednesday nights. Wes was working there for the summer so it was fun to go and see him at the same time. I was even so organized that there was time for my Thursday lunches and shopping trips with Claire.  She still had many things for me to do at her house but was never in a hurry. 

Finally the day arrived for Bowser and I to go pick up Wally from the bus from camp.  When he stepped off the bus laughing and talking to the other kids I wondered if he had really grown a foot taller or did he just appeared that way.  It was definitely happy and a more grown up thirteen year old Wally. After he and all his very smelly gear was loaded into the Bronco I heard all the stories on the drive home.  No doubt he had a wonderful time and certainly was ready to go back next year.  I will never forget that perhaps bathing in the St. Mary's River as the large oil tankers passed by might not have been the upmost in getting clean. 

Wally had a week of down time to see his friends and fill them in on all his adventures while I finished up a few little jobs.  Believe it or not our trip on the plane was the very first one since I was in college that was not a Ford Motor Trip.  At the age of 42 I actually bought my own tickets.  Mother had wanted to buy them but I said no I could do that myself. No reason to be beholden'

I think we had a pretty good time since going to Mother's was like visiting a swank hotel.  Nothing like an indoor swimming pool and Cabana, no helping to get meals ready as that was not allowed and lots of places to go.  We spent one day at the Oklahoma City Zoo.  They had recently added the Dolphin area and she was proud that her name was on the bronze sign as a donor to the project.  Actually the visit with her went pretty well.

Since Wally and I flew to Oklahoma City we sort of needed a vehicle to drive to Warner to see Dennis' parents.  Mother's friend, Jimmy, loaned us the Mercedes to make the trip.  Pretty cool and of course we went with the top down. The visit went much better than I had thought it would.  The divorce was very hard on Alpha, Dennis' Mom. Divorce was one of those things her generation did not do plus she and I had been really good friends and had lots of fun together. I guess after a whole year and a half had passed she had mellowed a lot and we had a great time together plus they adored Wally.  From that visit on and for the rest of her life we remained very good friends.

It only took about two hours to do the wallpaper.  Proof that she just wanted me to come visit.  But it really was a fun trip and I was glad we had taken the time to go.  But it was also nice to go home as I probably said "Yes, Mother" far to many times when I did not mean it.

Wes would be moving in with us sometime in August.  Dennis and the new family wanted to get to Cleveland before school started there.  It was going to be interesting to have Wes in a lot of ways.  He and Wally were going to have to share the attic room which was large - hopefully large enough.  It was also a twenty-one mile drive from our house to his High School in Farmington Hills.  It was also that far to his job at the skating rink when he did not come home on Friday or Saturday nights until mid-night.  Wes was, let's say a little hot headed, and I remember giving him many lectures about road rage and the fact that their were lots of guns in cars driving across Detroit. I understood him wanting to graduate with his friends as I did but that did not ease the constant worry.

It was certainly going to be interesting.

It Is So Simple

Every week when I start thinking about what personal stories to tell I always have to give a little giggle about how simple and fun life has been.  Better add that it still is as I plan on hanging around for a lot longer.  I haven't really gotten in to the hilarious years yet but they are going to start popping up soon.

In order for me to write my frame of mind has to be calm especially since I have to try to remember all the stories.  In the last few months I have missed a few weeks or been late or written stories that are just okay when I read them at completion.  I want to read them and laugh or cry what ever the situation was.  Too many times lately all I can say to myself is that one is okay and promise myself to do better next week.

I have had a lot of trouble since February but I figured my readers have noticed.  Maybe if I step out of my usual writing and tell what has been going on that has caused my writer's block I can go back to being the crazy person you read about each week.  I don't like having to force the words onto the page.

In January I got a small part in "Hello Dolly" at the Little Theatre in Ardmore, Oklahoma.  I have been involved with them for the last four years and love every minute of the 40 mile drive to rehearsals and the plays.  In addition I have been helping with costumes since I can sew. 
"Dolly" took place in the Edwardian style clothing that the costume shop was pretty void of.  Naturally my wonderful friend, Sindy, and I volunteered to make about 30 costumes in a very short amount of time.
That made for sewing all day, rehearsal every evening and then sewing all night. 

As usual there were people who missed rehearsal due to the flu.  They would be gone a few days and then back.  I did not pay much attention as I not only did not have time to worry about who was sick or why especially since by showtime both my hands were swollen and hurt horribly which I figured was Sewing Tunnel Syndrome.  The costumes looked great, I felt horrible.  When we had a couple of days off between weekend performances things got worse.

By Wednesday I was running a fever and really having trouble breathing. I convinced my husband to take me to a small hospital as we thought I might have the flu.  I tested negative for flu and strep throat but my oxygen level was too low for them to let me go home. When food arrived it was so bad I could not eat it.  It was even worse the next morning. Nothing had any taste at all, it was just stuff in my mouth.  Blamed the hospital.

The next day they did chest xrays but never gave me any medicine or the results of the xrays.  I wanted out of there as I had a performance that night but they said no.  Same thing happened the next morning when I asked to go home since I had not seen the jerky little doctor or any word on what was wrong with me so I pulled out the IV's and said so long.  The jerky little doctor told me I would die if I went home.  I got in the car and left.

About a week after I got home the news started talking about the COVID-19 virus.  When I heard the symptoms, dry cough, problem with breathing, fever and the lost of taste and smell it was obvious to me that the virus was what I had. Evidently the small rural hospital had never heard of Covid-19 at that time.  At that point there were no tests and as the weeks went by and tests were available you could only get on if you had the symptoms. The symptoms had long gone so I could not even tell if I still had it or not. I was worried sick that I had given it to other cast members and waited for months to hear if anyone else came down with it before I said anything. Luckily no one did. 

Basically Sindy, my husband and I have been hanging out at home since March 1st.  I have ventured to the costume shop and done a little shopping, lots of cooking as we don't trust take out and being vegetarains that is difficult anyway. Actually no complaints as it really took me about three months to feel better.  It left me with a horrible cough with lots of mucus and no energy.  There are also some other problems to the point that when they tell how many people have recovered I have to laugh.  If you read the stories about people who spent time in ICU with the virus and lived be sure to read the part where they can't walk, or think or many of the other residual efforts.
Recovered means that they after weeks or months had a negative COVID-19 test.

Now back to the real reason I am writing this.

I have watched the news, read the newspapers and can hardly look at Facebook anymore.  Everyone has the right to their own opinion and I won't unfriend someone who believes differently than I do.  Maybe I was lucky to have had parents who taught me not to be prejudiced against the color of skin, religion or nationality.  I can remember my Mom repeating the Golden Rule to us from the time I first heard words.
"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you".  Maybe I haven't always done the right thing but I have learned that I will carry the guilt for a long time if I do the wrong thing. 

The virus has caused people to lose their jobs, businesses have closed and the economy is going south.  When the virus was not prevalent in the center of the United States and the country started opening back up it has caused the virus to spread everywhere.  Why?  It is so simple in that there are too many people who think this is some hoax or some government conspiracy to take away your rights. When did our society become one where a bus driver is beaten to death because he asked someone to where a mask on the bus? When did it become your right to verbally abuse someone because they chose to wear a mask for your protection as they may have the virus? How are you going to feel if you become exposed and take the virus home to your family or is that okay with you?

I do not like wearing a mask anymore than anyone else.  I am still looking for one that is easy to breathe in but they are all uncomfortable especially in the hot weather. But I have been there and done the virus thing.  Even though it was a relatively mild case I would not wish it on anyone.  It was a very frightening thing not to be able to breathe and I realize how lucky I was. The solution to the problem is so simple.

Everyone wants life to go back to some sort of normal.  If you stop and think about restaurants and stores staying open, schools opening back up in the fall and all the other things you like to do where there are more than just a few people we all need to follow the rules that were working to stop the spread of the virus before.  Wear a mask, in public places, keep six feet or so of space from people you don't know and  stop thinking this is a hoax.  If nothing else please teach your children the rules.  Without abiding by them school will not open and your children may not live to grow up and have a chance at the fun life can be.

I have learned through the years of writing my silly stories that the picture at the beginning causes more people to read what I have written.  Yes, that is me playing the drums in a Follies production a couple of years ago. I always wanted to play the drums but Mother did not think that was very ladylike.  So, in my fifties my husband bought me a set of drums.  Many years and lessons later my debut as a drummer was playing Wipe Out with my son's band. Nothing like picking one of the hardest songs to play and I am sure it was pretty terrible. But this is what makes life fun and exciting. The only catch is that you have to keep living.  It is so simple - just wear the mask and we can together beat this thing.

Just remember that we are ALL in this together and as one we can win.

Charles Camping?

It was a surprise when Charles asked me if it would be possible for me to teach him about camping while Wally was gone to Pine River Camp. Wally and I had been going off camping for weekends for as long as I had known Charles. He had never said anything about wanting to go and I guess I just assumed that camping was out of his realm. 

He explained to me that we always came home sounding like we had so much fun and he wanted to see if it really was fun.  He also said he wanted to go without Wally the first time so that Wally did not think he was stupid. I assured him that Wally would not have thought he was stupid but that he had never had the opportunity to go camping.  There is a first time to do new things when no one expects you to know how.  

I am not real sure exactly how my relationship with Charles got started  except that we met roller skating.  The move to Detroit had been very difficult to say the least and the boys and I made quite a few friends at the roller rink.  Charles was always very nice and skating had become someplace to go and forget a for awhile the bad aspects of the move and my marriage.  People were glad to see us and there was lots of laughter. 

Charles had grown up very poor, single Mother but was very conscious about not looking poor from the day he could walk.  He told me the stories how he only had two pairs of pants and one pair of shoes.  In high school he washed one pair of pants every evening and polished his shoes. He worked at a lot of odd jobs from the time he was fourteen and went to cosmetology school.  He married, had two daughters and a thriving beauty salon especially in the late sixties and seventies when wigs were so popular.

When I met him he and his partner, Allen, owned a men's toupee shop and seemed to do very well.   He had been divorced for years but was very close to his two daughters.  Being around Wally was a whole new thing for him.  But in truth I think Wally and I were a little different from anyone he knew. One of his finest points was that he never said anything about my slightly off the wall ideas and ventures.  It was almost like he just enjoyed watching and being around to see what would happen next.

When we moved to Birmingham and got Bowser he became a regular fixture at the house.  He had never had a dog or cats but fell instantly in love with mine.  

As far as I was concerned Charles and I were friends.  I had the feeling he would have liked it to be more but I was not in anyway ready for any kind of commitment.  So we avoided getting into a conversation about anything serious and just had a good time together. Besides it was a whole new experience for me to get to go fun places and dress up to go out to dinner.

The first week Wally was gone I kept my nose down and got lots of work done.  It was a lot easier to not have to worry about cooking, cleaning and what was the boy doing all day while I was gone.  His new thing before he went off to camp was to rearrange the furniture.  It seemed like I came home to a new house everyday.  Maybe my interior design skills were rubbing off on him.

The weekend was the Fourth of July and I picked Bay City to go camping at.  The beach was not as nice as some of the others but they were having a big fireworks display on Saturday night to celebrate the holiday.

Saturday morning bright and early Charles showed up ready to go.  Hehad asked a thousand questions during the week as to what to wear and what to bring.  He asked about food and my answer was just bring yourself being prepared for cool nights and warm days. The rest I had handled.

It took us about two hours to unload the Bronco and set up all the stuff.  He was pretty amazed to see how simple it all really was.  Lunch consisted of sandwiches since I did not want to light a campfire during the day.  After lunch we hiked through the woods surrounding the camp and then let Bowser play on the beach and in the water of Lake Michigan. I always found it interesting that Bowser loved to play in the water.  His vet in Birmingham swore he was 100% Old English Sheepdog which he should know since he owned two of them.  The Vet said Sheepdogs hate the water but Bowser loved to run and play in it.

Not really wanting to impress Charles with my cooking skills but to show him camping does not have to be all hot dogs and hamburgers I made roasted corn on the cob and grilled Salmon for dinner. He was surprised and very happy.  Hmmm....I may have overplayed my hand as he would want to go camping every time Wally and I went. Then it was time to head off for the fireworks display.

Do I need to say that was a big mistake?  At the first loud bang Bowser went beserk.  There was no way to get him to stop shaking or crying.  We tried putting him in the Bronco but the noise was as loud in side as it was outside. We finally decided to go back to the camp ground which did not help either as you could still hear them. Our final effort to help him was to drive 20 miles down the highway to a roadside rest stop and wait the fireworks out.  I have  never felt so srry for an animal in my life than I did that night.  All Bowser wanted to do was to sit in my lap with his head on my shoulder and whimper.

After a pretty good nights sleep in our two separate bags with Bowser in between we ate a good breakfast, another hike in the woods and then it was time to break camp and head for home.  Charles did very well for the first time out and he said it was really a lot more fun than he had ever thought.

My answering machine did not have a quiet and peaceful weekend.  Life gets more interesting everyday.

Camping Anyone?

The end of the school year was always an interesting time.  The kids are ready to be free for the summer, parents maybe not quite so excited.  Since I grew up in a family that did not do vacations and married someone who thought a vacation centered around a drag race I really had no memories to fall back on.

In junior high school I spent a couple of weeks each summer at Girl Scout camp.  I think I tried to convince myself how much fun it was when now all I can remember were snakes in the Barron Fork Creek, snakes in the Latrine and snakes on the hiking trails. Then there were scorpions that crawled in your bed and poison ivy everywhere. But I still remember the camp song "We're out at Camp Darby, the camp of our dreams, where the blue water ripples and sparkles and gleams....". Yeah, right. Then there was cheerleader camp in Norman where we got to stay in old army barracks with the temperature of a 110 degrees that was considered a cold snap.  The last straw as far as camping was considered was Girl's Recreation Camp where you competed in sports from the moment the sun came up until dark-thirty.  Maybe Mother was trying to get rid of me.

Camping only became an important aspect in life when I was going through a divorce from Dennis.  It is impossible to get away for a few days when you have no money for motels.  Camping for a few dollars a night opened up a whole new world.  I should also mention here that Michigan does not have killer snakes.  They have enough sense to stay way south of cold weather.

Reading the brochure about Pine River Camp I couldn't help but get excited for Wally.  The camp was located on Neebish Island west of the International border that separates the United States from Ontario, Canada.  It sits in the St. Mary's River which connects Lake Superior and Lake Huron. Ship traffic heading up to Lake Superior pass on the east side while downriver traffic passes on the west side. The camp itself was located on the southern end of the island and accessible      only by canoe or row boats.

The camp was started in the 1960's and attracted kids from all over the United States.  In addition to three weeks at the camp they also offered a bicycle trip across the Upper Peninsula or hiking in Colorado.  Wally just wanted to spend the three weeks on the island doing what was called Wilderness camping. So we made a list of all the items they were to bring, ordered iron on name tags for everything he was taking and waited for the day he was to meet the bus in Lansing, Michigan.

It was interesting watching Wally when we got to Lansing on the day he was to get on the bus and head for camp.  Going off for three weeks to some unknown adventure with people he did not know was a big step for a twelve year old.  He did not seem to want to hang out with his Mom so I found other parents to visit with.  They all had good things to say about the camp which was reassuring but at the same time this was the first time he was on his own.  There were no grandparents or parents to bolster his confidence and I wondered what was going through his thoughts as more kids arrived who all seemed to know each other.  Would I get a call from the camp at some point to say I needed to come and pick him up as he was miserable?  Or in three weeks would I see a very self-confident young man hop off the bus proclaiming he wanted to go back next year while he said goodbye to all his new friends? Time would only tell and I hoped for the best as the bus pulled out and headed north.

There is one more rather funny story concerning Wally.  Shortly before school was out for the summer I needed to take the Bronco in for some repairs because an idiot sideswiped it one day.  Since that was the only car I had Charles was nice enough to tell me he had an extra one parked at his apartment that I could use. Did I ask what kind of car?  No.  Did I ask what kind of shape it was in?  No.  So he just brought the car over after dark one evening and left it for me.

The next morning I looked out the window and just started laughing my head off. The car was almost the length of the driveway and was covered with so much dust and dirt I was not sure whether it was dark blue or dark green.  My best guess was that it was about a 1962 or 1963 Cadillac.

The front and back windshields had a small circle where I assumed Charles had wiped dirt off so that he could see to drive it.  No wonder he waited until after dark to bring it over.

I called Charles and in between laughter I thanked him for the loan of the car.  He kept apologizing for the way the car looked and would come over that evening and give it a bath. I told him it was fine, no problem because maybe snotty Birmingham with their Mercedes and nice Cadillacs needed a little laughter. But when Wally saw the car he instantly refused to be taken to school in it.  Maybe we did have one of the oldest and smallest houses in town or give the appearance of having much money but hey, did he really want to walk to school?

He grumbled and griped, pleaded and begged for me to let him out a block from school.  No, the front walkway to the school was where we needed to go.  Naturally upon our arrival all of his friends were standing on the sidewalk.  It was a mixture of aghast and total laughter on the faces of the boys.  When we stopped they all ran over to the car and told Wally how cool it was. That was a quick change from Grumpy Wally to Proud Wally and suddenly he was in love with the car.

Wally was off to camp and Charles called one day to ask if he could talk to me.  I was not sure what he wanted to talk about but when someone loans you a prized automobile you have to be nice.  Talking over dinner sounded good.  To my surprise what he wanted to know was if I would take him camping while Wally was gone so he could see if he liked it. Now that was a surprise.  Guess I never thought about a fifty-five year old man who had never been camping in his life. This could be fun or it could be a disaster.

Camp Fred Darby

Cheerleader Camp

Neebish Island