The Fun and The Not So Fun

Softball got off to an interesting start.  There were three weeks of practice to get my team in championship shape.  Three years might have been better since Wes, Wally and I played more softball in our front yard than any of the girls had. At least they knew something about baseball in that you hit the ball with a bat and run around some bases.

Did I really think they were going to teach me a few things?

The mother who volunteered to help with the team knew a little less than I did about the game, but she was very nice and excellent with the girls since she had two daughters.  I was a little handicapped in that I didn't have daughters nor did I know a lot about them.  There was just a tiny little problem with Linda helping to coach.  She had two daughters, one about ten years old and one who was only five.  Five was supposed to be too little to be on the team. Linda understood Mary Ellen was too small - Mary Ellen did not understand.

There was something about tears falling out of those big blue eyes, the smile with no front teeth and the blond dog ears hanging from the sides of her ball cap that made me realize that I was not going to be able to say no.  Besides the rest of the girls on the team thought she was the cutest thing ever and there was no reason why she could not be a part of the team. We all swore to never reveal that Mary Ellen was not six years old.  

Practice went pretty terrible to begin with.  Everyone wanted to be the pitcher except Mary Ellen, she had that little heart set on being the catcher. They learned how to hold a bat, pitch, catch and play the much hated outfield.  The newly formed league only had a couple of gloves and bats to pass out to the teams.  About half of the girls did not have gloves.  There was nothing I could do but go buy a few for the girls whose parents did not have or would not spend the money for gloves for them.  The other problem was that if we had practice at the field in Riverton I had to go pick up the girls from Palmyra or they simply did not make it to practice.  It was these same girls whose parents never showed up for a game but that is another whole long story.

About halfway into the practice weeks Dennis began insisting I come to Detroit and pick out a house.  I tried to beg off but I guess it was better to go look before we got into playing actual games.  Linda volunteered to go it alone at practice which was great.  Even though Wes and Wally were both on baseball teams I decided they were big enough to go look at houses with us.

I dreaded the house hunting ordeal.  No one can imagine how horrible these were.  I knew there was no way he would buy another 85 year old house,  the house would have to have at least a three-car garage and be much longer. It would need to be in a neighborhood where other Ford people lived since you would not want to live next to someone who worked for GM or Buick - God Forbid. That sort of narrowed the field slightly but I gathered the boys up one afternoon and we flew to Detroit for our three day house hunting allotted time.

The trip on the plane was pretty exciting for the boys.  Wes had flown once from Dallas to his Grandparent's home in Oklahoma but Wally had never flown.  Somehow I managed to get too very excited kids to the airport in Philadelphia and fly to Detroit.  The trip through the city to the motel was interesting to say the least.  Detroit was huge with lots of old buildings and many freeways.  It was going to take a lot of traveling around to get the hang of the city but also it would be a lot of fun.

The first day we got to ride around with a real estate agent who took great pride in showing us all the expense executive neighborhoods that we definitely could not afford.  Besides not being able to afford the house all the garages were small or rear entry which would not work for a race car and trailer. Of course the houses all sat on tree lined streets with sidewalks and nearby parks. Having a friend in Riverton who had grown up in Birmingham, a northern older suburb, I asked to look there.  It was an instant love affair with that town but it had the same draw backs - older homes, small or no garages and too expensive.

Made it through the first day with no tears.  The second day Dennis took the day off to present me with his choice.  Seems like the current popular place to live if you worked for Ford Motor Company was Farmington, a community west of greater Detroit.  Can you guess?  There was a lot of new construction going on in what was called Farmington Hills.  I kept looking for the hills and all I could see was flat grass covered land with the only hills created by the excess dirt from digging basements.

The builder, Mr. Rossi and his wife, were very nice and we spent the day looking at homes he had built and plans for others.  I think Dennis had already made up his mind that building a house was the thing to do.  I just had to be quiet and remember how he told me when I made as much money as he did I could pick out the house.  So he looked at plans while I would just give a faint smile and agree to whatever.  

I learned that building a house in Detroit was like ordering a new car.  There was a base price which included the basic structure including a basement, walls and roof.  Anything else is an option.  Air conditioning, heat, flooring, paint, wallpaper, lights even in the closets, a fireplace, appliances, an extra garage that is longer than usual, landscaping and even steps out into the backyard were all extra.  Just like extra bling on a car. Dennis had been listening to other Ford employees and the word was that you bought a brand new house because when you moved in two years you could get the maximum appreciation on it. He talked about it that evening and we went back the next day and signed our lives away for a house I hated before the basement was even dug.

The Detroit House

The boys and I could have stayed another day but I jumped at the chance to take a late flight home.  It was dark when we landed in Philadelphia and there was no discussion from the cockpit but we landed quite a ways from the terminal and were met by a parade of emergency vehicles including firetrucks.  They hurried us off the plane and into buses and whisked us away to the airport.  At the baggage claim area we were informed our luggage would be delivered to our homes the next day.  It all happened so fast that there was not time to be frightened until we got home.  Don't think the boys were too anxious to fly again and I looked at it as a fine topping to a couple of lousy days.
Very happy to be home!

Back to school, the Library and softball with great joy.  Busy meant I did not have to think about the monstrosity of a house being built in Michigan.  It was obvious that we would once again be living in a motel for part of the summer and no amount of discussion would make Dennis change our moving date.

The softball games rolled around and I must say the first three were hilarious.  Mary Ellen, on the instance of everyone on the team, played catcher.  The catcher garb was so big you could only see little feet sticking out the bottom and there way no way she could stoop down like real catchers do or she would fall over.  She also could not catch the ball but every umpire we got fell in love with her and would get the ball and hand it to her.  She would throw it in the neighborhood of the pitcher but it usually did not go very many feet. 

I made every girl rotate through every position except Mary Ellen.  That way they got to all pitch and play every other position.  One little girl who only wanted to pitch actually threw fifty-two balls in a row before they called the game because the other team was too far ahead.  She actually begged me to never have to pitch again.....that was okay with me.  The other girls actually consoled her when she cried after the game. The thing that irritated me was the other coaches who kept telling me what to do with my team. I just told them winning wasn't everything and my girls were just learning.  

Of course we were the laughing stock of the softball league and the girls knew it.  No one wanted to quit but they asked me what they could do.  I told them they all knew by the third game where they played the best and all they had to do was to watch the ball and pay attention.  I also told them they were the best team in the league because they were a team and no one was trying to be a star player. Just go out there and play like you really know how to.

Mary Ellen finally learned to catch the ball all though she did fall over a lot trying to get it. One girl turned into a great pitcher and all of them played there hearts out.  By the fifth game we were actually winning even though every other team thought we were a push over.  Those girls learned and grew a lot that summer.  We did not become the champions but they did get a special award for the most improved team and they could not have been more proud.  Me neither.

I was really sad when softball was over.  Wes and Wally had both been playing baseball and I did get to their games when I did not have one.  They came to the girls game when they were free.  It did seem like we spent the entire spring in the park every evening.  My Physics class was over the first part of May and I made an A this time without the terror of having to do an oral exam.  Dr. Grey was offered a position at Stanford so he and his family were moving to California.  He had to be the hardest teacher I ever had but the one who taught me the most.  His move to Stanford was well deserved.

I sort of kept the Library Board in limbo as to when I was moving so they would not hire anyone before I made some decisions.  They were okay with it as they certainly did not want me to leave.

With school over I had one more major event to pull off before school was out.  Being a firm believer that all children have a talent and they need to have a way to express it I decided Riverton School needed a talent show. This was going to be fun.

There's Always Tomorrow

It was really difficult to even think about moving.  I think I went through a pretty long Scarlett O'Hara or an Annie phase where I just simply decided to think about it tomorrow. It was rather difficult as Wes and Wally spread the word around town pretty quickly.

Riverton was an interesting community as it was not one with very many transient families.  They did not warm up well to people who moved in and moved out.  Riverton was bounded by the Delaware River, Palmyra, Riverside and Cinnaminson and in that one square mile people were born, grew up, married and died never leaving the city limits. Sis grew up on Howard Street, married and lived in an apartment in a house three doors from her family home and moved back to the family home when her parents needed assistance.  That is why it took me a long time and lots of volunteer work to become an acceptable member of the community

Dennis went off to work in Detroit the first of April with the thought that we should start packing and move in a couple of weeks.  Sorry,  the boys were not going to be out of school until the middle of June, my classes and test would keep me busy until the middle of May and there was just simply no way I was going to leave before school was over.

It took a lot of talking to the boys and letting them understand that everything was going to be fine.  That wasn't easy when I actually looked at moving as the end of the world.  But somehow I managed to keep things fairly normal just for them.  Spring baseball signups helped make that a little easier.

I will be the first to admit that my children were not great athletes.  Wes had played soccer and baseball for seven or eight years.  He did play on a championship soccer team but for the most part he was the kid who tried spectaculars plays that never seemed to work out.  Wally was the little kid at the wrong end of the soccer field playing with the dirt clods oblivious to what was going on in the game.  He was also the one who always struck out in baseball and burst into tears at home plate.  The entire team would rush out to console him so I did not have visions of glory for either one of them. Little league wrestling was too funny to even try to describe.

When baseball signups for the Riverton/Palmyra League rolled around they were anxious to join in again.  Going to the meeting there was a discussion about starting up a girl's softball league.  This met with mixed reactions from the male coaches but they finally decided to have one.  In watching coaches through the years I had noticed that it was always the coaches son's who got the positions of pitcher or catcher or as I termed them - the star positions.  There never seemed to be a lot of teaching little boys who wanted to pitch a lot of training so they could learn.  If a boy was not amazing the first day of practice he was sent to the outfield or sat on the bench most of the time.

Since the men who had daughters seemed to be volunteering to coach I figured it would be the same old thing so I, who did not have a daughter or ever played softball in my life, stuck my hand up to coach.  I envisioned a team where every girl could play any position and decide what they did best. In other words no favoritism and fun.  

Before the signups for the girls Wes spent a lot of time in the front yard teaching me how to throw a softball. I knew how to bat.  I played baseball as a kid which was why I had bandages on both knees from playing baseball at recess and went home everyday with the hems torn out of my dresses all through grade school. After all my brother had even hit me in the head and knocked me out when I played catcher once.  That had to give me credit for knowing a lot about the catcher position. At the end of the signups I had a team of ten girls ages six to twelve, a bag of bats and balls, a catchers outfit and a couple of gloves.
Even had a mother who wanted to help and the surprise addition of five year old Mary Ellen.

I got a real surprise one day when I went to Physics class.  There was to be a Physics symposium in Newark and Dr. Grey, who for the most part scared the you-know-what out of me, asked another male student and I to go to the symposium with him.  ME, of all people!  Naturally I felt honored and said yes even though I was not sure what a symposium even was. On the appointed day we rode to Newark in Dr, Grey's very well worn VW camper.  Interesting vehicle for a Physics instructor and he explained how he and his family went wilderness camping in the Catskills.  Wilderness camping may not have been appropriate in most VW campers but his fit the bill.

The symposium was a day of Physics displays and lectures a lot of which were way over my head but Dr. Grey carefully explained everything.  On the way home we had a flat tire on the Jersey Turnpike and no spare.  We must have been quite a sight sitting in the grass waiting for someone to stop and help.  Luckily a fellow VW owner came by and gave us his spare to get home with.  Needless to say it was quite a day and one that ended up being filled with laughter with someone I was not sure even knew how to smile.

Dennis was not having much luck at finding a house that was suitable.  Seems like none of the ones he had seen came with suitable garages.  
Then he had also been informed that no one lived in Dearborn.  Wait! Wasn't Dearborn the home of Ford Motor Company?  Wasn't that where Henry Ford had lived?  Weren't all the stories about Henry Ford and his refusal to let any Jews live in the city limits about Dearborn? Were there not nice neighborhoods and tree lined streets?  Oh, no one lived in Detroit either.  I suggested that maybe it would be easier to just live in Riverton and commute.  That did not go over too well except that I made him mad enough that he didn't talk to me for several days which was nice.

I did tell Mom about the impending move.  She was not happy and wanted to get on a plane the same day to come and visit.  She liked seeing all the sights and going to New York.  I told her to wait until May to come as the last thing I needed was to spend time entertaining Mother.  The one thing I did not do was to tell Barney about the move.  He would come to see me no matter where I lived so that was no big deal.  The reason I did not tell him was that in the few quiet times I had there were thoughts that perhaps I would not be moving.  How I was going to pull that one off was a real mystery but I was working on several plans.

Then there was my friend from high school in Muskogee, Lisa, who kept telling me how I could not miss my 20th class reunion which was to take place in the fall.  I had the flyer about the reunion and decided to send in my money as I really wanted to go.  Who knew where I would be by fall but at least I would be signed up to go.

Really!

There is no way to describe the shock when Dennis came home from work one day and just announced we were moving to Detroit.  If I had to be logical I would have known this would happen.  In the Ford Motor Company world it did seem that you had to move around as you progressed up the corporate ladder.  It was also well known that one of the steps up the ladder was a stint in Detroit.

Can't say Dennis was very happy about the news.  He was still kneeling down everyday facing the Southwest wanting to go back to Dallas.  Do I need to say he hated everything about New Jersey?  In four years he had managed to despise the house, made no friends and scoffed at all the people and everything I was involved in.  To him moving would be wonderful if it was only back to Dallas. Turning down a move was instant death to your career and as much as he complained about his job he was not about to quit and especially not to quit and stay in New Jersey.

I was beginning to realize why other Ford Motor Company wives were rather strange.  I had met so many wives that had moved as many as ten or fifteen times that seemed to only hang out with other company women or were alcoholics or never left the house if possible.  I actually went by one day to a lady's house I had met at a company party just to be nice and when she answered the door she said she didn't like people and to go away. Another one whose husband was Dennis's boss attended  company functions and was glad to meet other wives  even though you had met her ten times before.  Needless to say I stirred clear of them except when forced by company protocol like the one who invited us to dinner at 7:00 then proceeded to cook and drink until food was on the table at midnight.

It may sound like I am being a little selfish and whiny.  The moving around has not been easy for me and I always worry about what effect it has on the boys.  Leaving Dallas had it's fine points in that I was ready to go anywhere away from there.  The boys were young enough that it did not seem to bother them and the only drawback was my halfway good chance of getting into medical school there due to some people I knew.  Kansas City was a dream from day one.  Loved the house, the neighborhood, all my friends and could have easily stayed there the rest of my life and actually tried to figure out how I could stay.

Even with a great decorating business I was at heart a stay-at-home Mom  By working for myself I could get involved in the boys school and outside activities and be home when they got home each day. Dennis having a good job with really great benefits afforded me the ability to not have a full time job even though money did not always go as far as you might have wanted. I used to tell friends that I wished I could be happy staying home all the time and baking bread but at the same time being an independent career woman did not appeal to me either.  I was sort of lulled into a life of having my cake and eating it too.  So I did the right thing and moved to New Jersey.

Even though I remember crying most of the drive to New Jersey, hid in the house for six months and cried at the grocery store when I could not understand anything people said my neighbor, Sis, appeared on my porch wanting to be friends.  From that day on I loved everything about living in New Jersey.  I had an eighty year old house of my dreams, wonderful friends, a dream job at the Library, access to the shore, the mountains and nine Medical Schools within commuting distance. Wes and Wally were doing well in school, had lots of friends and could go anywhere they wanted on their bikes with no problems. 

Ah, life to Dennis was so simple. In the next breath after telling me we were moving he laid out the plan.  He would go to work in Detroit the next Monday, look for a house and I would come up for my allotted three days to give final approval.  In the meantime I would get the house ready to sell, put it on the market and there was no reason why in a month or six weeks we could not be happily settled in Detroit.  Meanwhile he could come home every other weekend. That sounded pretty good to him.

If I had not already been on the verge of tears it would have been laughable.  It was the first part of April.  School was not out until the middle of June and it was not logical to pull the boys out of school that close to the end of the year. Naturally I did not mention my dropping out of Physics and the Kaplan course or missing the test I had signed up for in May or finding a replacement at the Library as whatever I had going on did not matter.  I did somehow manage to put on my big girl shoes and nix the idea of moving before the end of school.

I did fairly well in conversations about the move in being polite until he left on Monday but it was difficult.  I wanted to tell him I was not moving under no uncertain terms but was not ready to go there yet.  I needed some time to come up with a plan and really decide what I wanted to do.  It did not take long for the entire town to learn of the impending move.  There were two boys who told all their friends and the word spread like wildfire. Once again I appeared positive about the whole thing when I was anything but.

Best defense I had was to just pick up and move on with life as it came at me day by day.  I certainly had enough to keep me busy that I could ignore even thinking about it and it was two and a half months away.

A couple of months before the moving announcement I was a little stressed with all I had to do.  Keeping the house picked up had become a real chore with Wes, Wally and all their little friends who came by to visit and play.  One day I had a genius idea to help with the toy explosion that appeared in the house everyday and I made a "Whoops Box".  It was a cardboard box that resided in the hall closet and anything of the boy's that failed to get picked up would end up in the Whoops Box.  If after three days the items was not claimed from the box it had to unimportant so it got thrown away (actually just hidden).
It certainly did not take more than four or five days for the two little guys to realize Mom was not kidding. All of a sudden the two of them were masters of neatness.

Not being stupid children they suddenly noticed that there was someone else in the house who tended to leave shoes, socks, keys, wallet, glasses and anything else that was not attached to his body laying all over the house. One morning there was a big commotion when it was time to go to work and low and behold he could not find his keys or his wallet. I boys were having a hard time not laughing and I knew instantly what was going on.  Wes and Wally had decided that what was good for them should be good for Dad.  We all looked high and low for the items until he was actually going to be late for work.  Wally found them in the Whoops Box - imagine that! Sorry but we could not help but laugh as he stomped out the door with keys, glasses and the Whoops Box in hand.  It was a pretty good lesson - not that they all remembered it for very long.

I think I forgot to mention that another reason I could not leave Riverton before school was over was I had volunteered to coach a girl's softball team.  For a very Dudley Dowright reason I, who had never played softball or had a daughter, was going to do WHAT!  

The Good, The Better and The Worst

Cathie

It was a good thing the twenty inches of snow melted before the next weekend arrived.  Riverton Home and School Association had managed to raise two thousand dollars for a tire playground for the kids.  In stead of a few old swings they were going to get a playground full of fun things to play on and this particular Saturday it was to be installed.

A gentleman from upstate New York created the designs, brought the used tires of all sizes and helped put everything together.  Before hand we had to make sand beds eight inches deep for each structure to be built on and purchase all the nuts, bolts, rope and chains for the installation. Even though it was a grey, cold windy day about half the parents in the school showed up to help, each bringing something to add to the hot dogs and hot chocolate we had planned for lunch.  By late afternoon the kids had a fantastic new play ground where they could climb, swing and hang upside down.

Even with my job at the Library, Physics and the Kaplan course we found a couple of times before spring to take the kids skiing for the day in the Poconos.  Somehow I had gotten over the Disatermoon - new word to describe the worst honeymoon ever which was a skiing trip - and gotten quite confident on the slopes.  The kids took to it like ducks to water, Wes flying down backwards and jumping over berms while Wally was the most determined little guy out there. Half the time I never knew where they were until they showed up at the ski lift.

The Kaplan course was interesting.  Basically it was a cram course for Medical School Entrance Test or MCAT.  It met on Thursday night in an office building in downtown Philadelphia.  I surprised at how much I really did remember of Biology, Chemistry and what I had already learned about Physics.  The class was actually very good and had a lot of aspiring and positive students in it.  Maybe all I really needed was a good dose of positive thinking and self confidence before I would take the test again in May.

Then Cathie popped up one my porch one Tuesday afternoon. She popped up quite often through the years, always unannounced but always a welcome sight.  Cathie was my college roommate at Stephens
and there was no one who was more fun.  I wrote write a bit about her and our days at Stephens in other stories.  She was without a doubt one of a kind.

After returning to the states from living in some sort of commune in India she was residing at the Himalayan Institute in the Pocono Mountains.  She was studying yoga and meditation and stayed long enough to actually become an instructor.  She wanted a few days off so onto my porch she appeared. I don't know if Wes or I was the happiest one to see her.  Wes had been in love with Cathie since he was five years old and swore back then her was going to grow up and marry her.
He instantly gave up his room and told her she could stay as long as she wanted.  Dennis was not too happy to see her.

She hung out with at the Library and went to Physics class with me the next day but when Wes was getting out of school she went and picked him up and whisked him off the the drugstore in Palmyra for cherry cokes and M&M's so he instantly became the talk of the school due to the beautiful blonde who was not a relative picking him up.  At thirteen it was a big deal for him.

Cathie had the ability to make me totally irresponsible so Thursday I stayed at work for an hour or so and we headed off to meet Erin. our suite mate from Stephens.  She was the counselor at the school for the deaf near New Hope, Pa.  At Stephens Erin had a closet full  of triple-starched shirts and pleated skirts. She also, as we used to tease her, went out with every male within a fifty mile radius.  So she gets in the car and the first thing Cathie asks her was if she had a sweetie. Erin did not even hesitate but went on to tell us how she dated so many guys looking for one she felt something with.  When she left Stephens and went to another college she met a female professor and discovered that she was gay. I was not real sure what to say but good old Cathie said that was cool. It was cool as it answered a lot of questions about Erin that we had had.  It was an awesome afternoon and Cathie and I kept in touch with Erin for years.

That night I had the Kaplan class in Philadelphia, but I sort of skipped it and just told Dennis Cathie was going with me.  Instead of class we did Philadelphia - Market Square, South Street with the break dancers on every corner, the Art Museum, and we talked.  Cathie always knew my secrets and was a good listener.  There were times when I really should have taken her advice.

Friday night Dennis, the boys and I had been invited for dinner with a guy Dennis worked with. I had been to their house several times before and dreaded the thought of ever going again so Cathie was a good excuse.  Dennis suggested I call the wife, Sally, and tell her I had company and see if we could get out of it.  My having company didn't work as we could just bring her so I tried the fact that Cathie was a vegetarian but that did not work either.  We were doomed.

Sally and Glen had a beautiful home in a neighborhood we could not afford, six beautiful daughters and Sally was a beautiful woman herself.  I got the feeling she rarely left the house which seemed to be a common factor with most of the Ford wives.  Maybe they all moved so much it made them crazy. I always said I could write a book about corporate wives and what it does to them as I met a lot of really strange ones.

So as usual, we arrived at 7:00 and dinner was served at 11:30. There was the usual additional assortment of added guests making ten at the dinner table.  The kids had pizza early and were playing games and watching movies in the rec room. Cathie was the life of the party and it was obvious that all the other guests were quite taken with her girl-next-door looks and intelligence. Cathie told Sally that her being a vegetarian was her problem and not to worry about the food and that she'd be fine.  Sally had made a center piece of vegetables that was really quite outstanding and when dinner came she moved it in front of Cathie and that was  to be her dinner. Every jaw at the table dropped. The man sitting next to Cathie was the lead violinist with the Philadelphia Symphony and he pushed the center piece away and gave Cathie his salad, Sally went nuts and demanded she eat the centerpiece at which time I asked Dennis for the car keys and Cathie and I left. Dennis did not.  Cathie and I were both laughing all the way home.  Not only did I stand up to Sally but I also left Dennis there.  Hooray for me!

I told Cathie it might be a little testy around the house the next day and she said she really did need to get back to the Institute.  Icy is a better explanation than testy.  Guess my exit and the fact that I sort of forgot the boys didn't set too well.  Glen brought them all home after dinner was over.  Cathie promised to come back soon and we never got invited to another dinner at Sally's house.  Another hooray! 

Funny but it always seemed like when things were going great for me or I was really happy about something all of a sudden the world came crashing down around me. I was doing well in the classes, happy at the Library, having fun with the boys, loved my house, loved Riverton and had great friends when WHOP the world falls in.

Dennis came home one day and announced we were moving!  

Hello 1984

There had been very few times in my life when I celebrated on New Years Eve.  I remember going to dances when I was in high school on that night and always having a good time but most since I had been married were quiet evenings at home and usually to bed long before the big ball dropped in Times  Square.  Nor can I remember making many resolutions on what I was going to do or how the New Year was going to be so much better than the past one.  So 1984 rolled in quietly without any fanfare, hangovers or lack of sleep.                                                  
Riverton School was back in session after the holidays.  I think the boys were anxious to get back and see their friends.  Of all the schools the boys attended through the years that one is one of, if not, their favorite. It was K-8 and there was right at three hundred children.  Most of the teachers lived in town and it seemed there was much more of a one-on-one relationship with each child.  A real plus factor with the teachers was that most lived in Riverton and had children that attended school there and that helped make it the very good and very friendly place it was. I can remember that the boys came home telling funny stories not only about their friends but their teachers.

Wes had become quite the artist by the age of thirteen and was quite proud of the drawing table he received for Christmas.  Mr Leven, the art teacher, had to laugh as the only thing he would draw was race cars or designs for drag strips.  But Mr. Eleventy-Leven as all the kids called him still encouraged him to draw whatever he wanted. Wally was one of the few who had learned to read before the first grade and loved every minute of going to school.

My Calculus/Physics class started up again and there was a noticeable difference in the size of the class. I think we lost two-thirds of the students.  I was not too surprised since I had watched a lot of other students kind of grimace when test and lab reports were handed back.
Guess I never could understand why anyone would not study hard enough to pass a class.  Perhaps I was just a little OCD about doing well in class since some people around me loved to think I was stupid.  After all who gets up at two or three o'clock in the morning to study.

Barney arrived in Philadelphia the last week in January on a five hour layover on his way to Boston.  It was a very cold, windy and grey day so we stayed at the airport since it was too cold to do much of anything else.  It was an interesting visit as he seemed a little down and for the first time we talked more about our martial situations.  We had been avoiding this for years and were both a little hesitant in talking about it.  We both felt that it was better to stay away from the subject but both knew it had to come up sometime.

He started in by telling me Lauren wanted to move to California to be close to her family and adopt another child. He was happy in Kansas City and loved his job doing the seminars, lectures and writing the books.  In truth he could do that from anywhere but he was not sure about more children. He was gone a lot which probably helped keep the marriage together but felt like he was not being the father he wanted or needed to be especially with a toddler as Sam was only three.  A lot of his work he did from home and that was difficult for him with Sam. 

I think when he and Lauren married their goal was not to have children and would both be career people.  She had finished law school after they were married and finally passed the bar but now she only wanted to fill the house with children.  Then he point blank asked me how happy I was married to Dennis.  I told him some things but kept it to only some of the things like the constant put downs. I had to admit that he didn't run around on me, was home for dinner every night and thought constantly about drag racing  but really was not very social or had many friends.  If I went through too much I would sound like a total idiot for staying in the marriage.

It was a discussion that had been laying just under the surface of our relationship for the last five years.  We agreed that we loved each other and that was sort of the glue that got us through whatever bad times we had.  He actually said on bad days he would think to himself that I would understand and just to hear my voice kept him going.  That made me laugh because I was doing the same thing. When he kissed me goodbye before getting on the plane he said that he knew we would be together one day. I agreed.

One of the reasons I loved living in New Jersey was the weather.  I am a winter person as I love cold weather and snow.  Anything over eoghty degrees dose not make me happy.  New Jersey had it's warm days but even at the shore you could walk the beach on a summer morning in shorts and a sweatshirt.  Winter was the best.  My motto has always been "One can not have too many sweaters".  Had lots of them in New Jersey and back then is snowed a nice amount.  It was also fun to listen to the ice breaker come up the Delaware River opening up the shipping channel way before dawn.  Roaring fires in the fireplace were perfect.

Valentine's Day had always been the holiday I loved the most.  Dad treated Valentine"s Day, like Christmas, and filled the house with candy, flowers and presents.School parties were always fun so being homeroom Mother for both the boys I became the Cupcake Lady.  This
particular Valentine's Day I got up early and baked fifty or sixty cupcakes for the school parties and for us.  When the sun came up it looked to be a beautiful morning.

About the time I was whipping up the frosting I was listening to the radio and they started reading off the numbers they used for school closings.  They did that for snow storms, hurricaines and such.  Did I really hear Riverton's number?  The sun is out. Why would the school be closed?  I went and turned the television on and there was the weatherman stating that they had no idea of what the weather was going to do but it looked like a blue northerner was coming in.

I had lived in New Jersey for three and a half years and there had not been a blue northerner since I had lived there so I did not not know what to expect.  About the same time I had gathered the information it got really dark outside and it started snowing. Cupcakes went to the freazer and trash the frosting as it is now snowing so hard we could not see across the street. Dennis had gone into work early and called to see if it was snowing at our house.  The kids got up and were jumping for joy.....they take after me when it comes to snow.

Well, that was a snow storm.  It snowed for four hours, the freeways and major roads came to a halt as no one could see to drive and if they stopped five minutes later they were stuck.  It took Dennis two hours to get home from work which is only fifteen miles away. Naturally he arrived home in one of his cursing moods while the kids and I are loving every minute of it.

I guess it was a good thing it was a Friday as the entire Philadelphia area was at a complete stop for four days after the snow stopped.  The airport was closed until Monday or Tuesday due to the fact there was simply no place to put the snow as they tried to clear the runways. The major roads were all impassable due to the cars that had been left in the middle of the road. The final total was twenty-tree inches of snow in about four hours. The kids and I thought it was like a wonderland and had great fun shoveling and playing in the snow.

Saturday morning the sun popped out and it was a wonderland.  Of course we only lived a block from the library and two blocks to the  school, grocery store and downtown.  Everyone in town was out shoveling and walking to where they wanted to go. We actually opened the library on Saturday so those stuck at home could come get a book to read. By Monday the roads were some what passable and school was open.   Cupcakes got frosted and Valentine's Day was celebrated a little late.

The red car under all that snow was my most favorite car I ever had.  It was a Mercury Capri five-speed complete with every bling and leather interior.  Wes bet me one evening that I couldn't lay rubber with it.  I smiled and said for him to come outside.  Naturally Wally and Dennis appeared in the yard as well.  It took a long time for the tire tracks to wear off the road in front of the house.  Dennis gave me a lecture on how I was not to treat a company lease car like that and no doubt got angry until the tire marks disappeared.  Oh well.

The year was starting off pretty well. But one never knows when another type of blue northerner will blow in.

Merry Christmas?

Needless to say it took awhile to get over being perhaps a little miffed about the Thanksgiving Day events.  I kept looking on the bright side of things, after all I did get to go to the Macy's parade and I did not have to cook Thanksgiving dinner.  Plus Wes and Wally had a good time. I guess after eighteen years looking on the bright side of things became my method of survival.

Even though Christmas was never the Norman Rockwell painting I still always managed to get excited about the holiday and hope for the best.  The two things I love most about the Christmas season are the Christmas cards and the decorations.  Actually I do love the shopping though most people have always thought I was a little crazy as I like to wait, carefully preparing my list of what to purchase, until a week or so before the big day.

Those were the days when I sent a hundred Christmas cards each year. Dennis always had a very long list of fellow employees that required cards and the personal list seemed to grow bigger with each year due to the moves around the country and the friends we had left behind. Living in New Jersey you did not really decorate until Christmas Eve and lights on the house could get you shunned so that event made the decorating rather quick and fun.

As for the shopping I never let on to Wes and Wally that there was no Santa.  I still, at the ages of thirteen and nine, made them do the Santa letter with the list of what they wanted.  What fun is Christmas if you don't believe in Santa?  I always told them that there had to be a Santa.
Did they really think their cheapskate parents would buy them all that stuff?  Wes would argue with me but Wally was not real sure but that kept Christmas fun.

Ah, Christmas of 1983.  Perhaps the most memorable in the worst way possible. Everything was going along very well until Christmas Eve.
Excellent actually, part of which I will get to later, but the day dawned bright and not too cold, we had gone and gotten our live tree a few days before from the tree farm and were about to put our tree up when our neighbor came and asked Dennis to help him with his.

Jim had an awesome house behind us - three stories, built at the turn of the turn of the century and it had twelve foot ceilings downstairs. Jim had gone and gotten a huge twelve foot tree for the living room.  Naturally it was heavy and ended up being about a foot too tall. They wrestled with the tree, got it to the right height and started standing it up.  Somehow Dennis got poked in the eye by a pine needle. Ever heard of that one before?  Me neither. By the time Dennis got home he was in pain and of course getting poked in the eye by the pine needle was all Jim's fault - like Jim stabbed him on purpose.  You have to remember that nothing that ever happened to Dennis was an accident or in any way his fault.

Did you ever know anyone who could not close one eye and keep the other one open?  There are those people and I guess Dennis never winked at any girl as he was one of those people.  So I, in effect. had a blind husband cursing to beat the band and I finally dashed him off to the emergency room at 7:00 on Christmas Eve.  Have you ever checked into an emergency room that wasn't busy or what are your chances of getting an emergency room doctor good at pine needle pokes in the eye?  If you guessed no for both answers you got it right.  Three hours later we were told that pine needles have a poison on the tips (?),they gave Dennis an eye patch and said he should go see an eye doctor after Christmas. Swell.

As soon as we got home I made the boys put out cookies and milk for Santa and tucked them in their beds and then convinced Dennis he should do the same.  Now I got to finish the tree, assembled the big Christmas presents and finish all the rest of the Santa stuff. That was actually very enjoyable and I finished off the evening with a beer or two and napped on the sofa.  Before I fell asleep I ate the cookies and poured out most of the milk since I didn't think it would settle well on top of the beer.

I woke up before the patter of growing feet came running down the stairs.  After all I needed to keep the myth alive that Santa had come down the chimney and me asleep on the sofa may have made them wonder. Bigger feet came slowly down the stairs with no patch, he didn't like it, both eyes closed and clutching the railing.  He laid on the sofa while the boys and I opened presents moaning.  Every so often the boys would open one of his for him as he couldn't open them and he would feel of it and say it was nice in between moans. He did manage to eat Christmas breakfast and dinner without any problem.

That evening the boys and I went to Sis and Gus' for a little get together.  All their children and grand children were there and it was the highlight of the day for me.  When I explained where Dennis was Sis didn't say anything but just rolled her eyes.  She had her own opinion of Dennis after being witness to some of his stunts like using the motor scooter for a ladder and running his arm through a broken window. That evening with her family gave me enough fortitude to keep from losing it for two more days before we could get to the eye doctor since Christmas was on a Friday that year.

We did go to an eye doctor on Monday.  He said there was no damage to the cornea and to wear the patch until it healed and it would be fine.  The patch would give the eye time to rest and heal but doctors were all very stupid and did not know anything. So, naturally he could not wear the patch.  By the time he went back to work a week or so later it was all healed. It was and probably still is all Jim's fault.

A few days before Christmas Eve I got a letter in the mail from someplace called Kaplan something or other.  I opened it up and it was a letter thanking me enrolling in their Medical School Entrance Test Class in Philadelphia in March. There was also a receipt for three hundred and seventy-five dollars.  At first could not figure out what kind of class this was or how they thought I had paid and enrolled. There had to be some mistake.  I knew it was not something Dennis would have done as he hated every minute I was at school or studying.  Then it dawned on me that it was the class Barney had suggested I take. 

Well, I broke my rule about calling him as I wasn't sure he was home. He did answer and I asked what the present was for as we did not give presents to each in the five years we had been friends. He said it wasn't a present but it was a reward for making a A in Calculus/Physics and if I worked as hard on the Kaplan course as he knew I did on the Calculus/Physics that I would ace the Medical School exam.  I told him he should not have done it but he said no that he should do more than he has. I thanked him and promised to study hard and do well.  With a laugh he said I did not need to promise as he knew me well enough to know that I would do great. He also said he would be in Philadelphia the end of January.

I guess I was totally taken back by someone being nice to me and believing in me. That didn't seem to come much from Dennis or my mother as they both acted most of the time like everything I did was wrong.  I was thinking that the New Year would be a great one.

Little did I know at Christmas what the next year would bring.  If I had known ahead of time I wonder what I would really have chosen to do.

Here Come Those Holidays Again

Many stories ago I wrote one about how I felt about holidays.  As a child I always looked forward to them even though most were not happy events.  Dad loved them and went out of his way to make them special while Mother hated holidays and only wanted for them to be over.Usually by the end of the day for any holiday my parents were not speaking to each other. But she always said all families behaved that way which didn't make it any more pleasant for the three children.

As an adult  and married to Dennis I thought holidays would suddenly become like the ones I always wished I had had as a child.  That thought was quickly dashed as Dennis loved the holidays when someone else did all the cooking, cleaning, shopping, decorating and assembly of the presents .

I had always been an avid watcher of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade each year jumping up during the commercials to check on the dinner that no one should could or would eat.  When I heard we were actually going to get to go to New York with another couple I was excited beyond belief.  This would be THE year that a holiday would actually be fun.

The plan was that we would follow Jim and his wife, Janique, to New York, watch the parade and then eat dinner someplace.  Jim and Janique had family in The Bronx and were going there for the rest of the holiday.   The day dawned more beautiful than one could hope for with bright sunshine and warmer than usual weather for Thanksgiving in New Jersey.  There was  even not much traffic as we traveled up the Jersey Turnpike and through the Lincoln Tunnel to the city.  The problem was going to be the parking so it was decided before we left that they guys would let us all out so we could watch the parade while they parked the cars.

So far, so good.  Janique and I went and found a place on the sidewalk in front of the building Jim said to station ourselves at and the five children with us all got to the front of the crowd while we stood back on the sidewalk behind them. The parade was already in progress but we watched the bands, floats, huge flying balloons and saw all the movie and TV stars.  I was so exicited about being there in person that I didn't realize that it had been a really long time since the guys dropped us off.
Finally right before the end of the parade they showed up.

Jim was all cheerful and was glad we were having a good time.  Their children were all younger than ours and by that time had seen all the parade they wanted to see. They headed off to see their relatives. I noticed that Dennis did not look too happy and the bag he was carrying with the Airpot of hot chocolate looked a little sad. He was not happy - more like furious and he had dropped the bag with the Airpot in it which had broken and leaked all the hot chocolate out. He made a big scene about parking and wanted to leave right then but I refused as the kids wanted to see Santa arrive at the end of the parade.

Actually it was a good thing he had dropped the bag with the hot chocolate soon after he left the place where the car was parked.  It was a good thing because he had no idea of where the car was so all we had to do was to follow the little dribbles of hot chocolate on the sidewalk to find where he had left the car.  Arriving at the garage where the car was parked we were confronted by two big and a little scary guys who were furious with Dennis because he did not leave the keys in our vehicle.  They had asked him to as they ran a limo service from the garage and could not move cars around because they did not have keys to ours.   I hurried our departure when Dennis began what sounded like he thought they tried to steal his car and he was correct, as usual, by not leaving his keys. It was a straight drive home - no stopping for a Thanksgiving dinner anywhere. 

As silly as this may sound I rank that Thanksgiving as one of my favorite ones.  First of all I love New York City and actually think I could live there.  I got to go see the parade I had watched on television all my life and it was everything and more I thought it would be. When you stop and think about the ordeal with someone being so stupid as to not pay attention to where he parked the car and depending on someone else, Jim, to lead him back you have to do a big eye roll. Always remember if you are worried about getting lost in the big city just dribble hot chocolate on the sidewalk. The big scary guys gave us the car back and we did not end up in the Hudson River tied to cement blocks. And, best of all.....I didn't have to cook and clean up that horrid dinner.

Dr. Grey, my calculus professor, had a novel idea after our final exam for the semester.  If you were on the line between an A or B or any other combination of grades you could request an additional oral test to see if you could raise your score.  I happen to have been between and A and a B so I jumped right on that one.  It sounded so easy the day he had us sign up but when the day finally came I was so nervous that I really did not even know my name. As tiny in statue that  Dr. Grey was he was a very imposing person and I had never had a one on one conversation with him.

I arrived at the appointed time for the oral exam which could be anything he had covered for the semester.  There was no way to study for this one as it was all that information you were supposed to have learned.  Before he asked me the question I could hardly breathe I was so nervous.  No, not nervous just flat out scared. When he finally asked me something about being on an icy pond with the ice beginning to crack how would I get off I completely froze and my mind was a total blank.  What kind of an idiot question was that! What did an icy pond have to do with calculus?  If he had asked me if I shot an arrow into the air, where would it land or the speed of lightning I could have answered.

Standing there in front of someone I thought to be the smartest man in the world I wondered how he could come up with such a stupid question.  Just before the tears started to fall I remember opening my mouth and mumbling something about how to get off the ice.  I don't remember what I said or even where the answer came from but when I was done there was a big smile on his face and he said "Correct".  Too use the old phrase, "you could have knocked me over with a feather" is one way to describe it. Then he told me that out of thirty-four students in the class I was the only one who had signed up for an oral exam and he asked me the ice question just for fun to see if I really studied and learned as much as he thought I did. Got the A!

Well, One holiday down the tube and vacation from Calculus for a month.  Next is the holiday that somehow can be the most fun and a nightmare at the same time.  This one turned out to be a real doozie. out to be a real doozie.