I don't think I have ever been a "holiday" enthusiast. Christmas is the exception in some ways. The 4th of July is fine as long as I can view the fireworks from afar. But when November rolls around and I have to face Thanksgiving I get all tense and irritable.
A little history of the original Thanksgiving is in order here. There were hundred and two passengers on the little Mayflower for the trip to the new land. The first year half of them died from disease and starvation. Of the sixteen women that arrived only four survived that first year.
If the Indians had not taught them how to grow food they would have all perished. So, to thank them,the Pilgrim men decided to have a celebration.
There was not turkey on the menu but deer and corn. The event was not just one day, but three days long for about one hundred and fifty people. While the men played games four women with the help of small girls cooked all of the food for three days. So began the history of women around the campfire or in the kitchen while the men played or watched football games.
Your childhood sets up your expectations of what a particular holiday should be like. Good or bad experiences sort of become ingrained in your brain for the rest of your life. I have the ability to remember all the happy memories over the bad ones if there were any good ones to look back on. Thanksgiving does bring back some memories that were not funny at the time but now bring about a good laugh. Normal Rockwell scenes they were not.
My Mom was an excellent cook and spent hours making lists for shopping and days for cooking. I think the more she worked on the Thanksgiving meal in her "June Clever" dress and apron, the madder she got. By the time the feast was put on the table she was not speaking to my Dad for whatever reason. Not having any extended family, except for one Uncle, it made for a real pleasant experience to hear her say "Donna, would you tell your Father to pass the gravy" when she could have reached it herself. The only two good Thanksgivings I can remember were the ones when my Uncle Tom was invited to come. She was charming and sweet those two years.
When I got married to my first husband, known in my stories and the "then Husband", I became a member of a huge extended family. It was always bewildering to travel to his home for Thanksgiving and be thrown into a crowd of people all talking at the same time. Their menu was different from what I grew up with and past family squabbles were evident. I began to cherish the silent Thanksgivings I was accustomed to. I was rescued from these ordeals with the arrival of the boys and moves across the country. Ah....to be too far from the home place to get there for Thanksgiving Day.
There were lots of memorable Thanksgiving Days when the boys were growing up. There was the year the then husband's parents came who I did really like. While they were watching the Macy's parade I realized I did not have corn syrup for the pecan pie. Not Thanksgiving without the pecan pie! I announced that fact and was asked what store was open. Well, back in the mid-seventies 7-11 was it. No one else was sure of what to purchase so I took off to the 7-11.
At the 7-11 I was greeted by a long line that meandered around the parking lot. I think that was some of the most fun I had the entire weekend. Everyone was laughing about what they forgot to purchase for the big day. We would cheer for people as they came out of the store with their needed items and cheer as new friends we had made got their chance to go in the door. Naturally everyone one at home watching the parade wondered where I had been for an hour. Pretty bad when you can secretly laugh at the fun you had at the 7-11.
All those years when I was only allowed a glimpse of the Macy's parade paid off when we lived in New Jersey. Some friends, who were from New York, were going to the parade and then on to spend the day with family. We got the boys up early, made an air pot of hot chocolate and followed them to the City. Of course the Lincoln Tunnel was backed up so when we got to the area of the parade the guys let all of us out a few blocks from the parade route and went to look for a parking place. We made our way to a great viewing spot and enjoyed every minute of the event It was much better seeing it in person than you can imagine.
It was too bad the guys did not arrive until Santa came at the end of the parade. Seems like they had difficulty in finding a parking place. I could tell by the steam coming out of the then husband's ears that things were not good. Another clue was the slightly soggy bag that contained the air pot and hot chocolate that had sort of gotten broken. Our friends went off to enjoy their family for Thanksgiving while we followed a trail of hot chocolate drops on the sidewalk to locate where he had parked. There was no stopping at any of the inviting restaurants we passed on the way home. Guess that year it was bologna sandwiches when we got home.
Can't miss adding the a memorable Thanksgiving in my single days between the then and now husbands. A boyfriend had his ex-wife come to town to visit their daughters. There was sadness that they would not spend the day all together so I was kind enough to invite them all over for dinner. Can you imagine that one? Besides being left out of the conversation while being banned to the kitchen the ex-wife told me I might be attractive if I wore lipstick. She managed to not get the gravy dumped on her head since that is an important part of the meal. Nice of me, wasn't it?
Thanksgiving Day with Marshell, the now husband, has been much nicer. We have tried doing the big family thing but they all have several places they need to go to. One could come at one time but someone else couldn't come until a different time. Besides one over indulgent meal is all one ever needs to eat. Now we just tell them to go do whatever they need to and we will see them later. Works very well for me and they don't have to feel pressured to show up.
Becoming more health conscious (vegetarian) I don't cook a big traditional meal anymore. A little stuffing, a salad and of course, pecan pie will do just fine. I am thankful everyday for my family, friends and all the good fortune I have been afforded. So, Marshell, our pet zoo and I will spend a wonderful day together and I will get to watch the entire Macy's parade.
I decided to repost this story from last year as it pretty well describes my Thanksgiving days through the years. We have been invited to a family gathering but haven't decided what to do yet. I do know that I will wake up tomorrow morning and feel thankful for all my good friends and happy times as I do everyday. Maybe I don't need to pick one day on the calendar to remind me how lucky I am.
A very Happy Thanksgiving and every other day to you all.
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