The First Week At Stephens

Just so no one feels bad and thinks all this comes from memories I will confess that some of it comes from little notes written on the Activity Calendar. I kept a pretty good record of events, activities and dates on the calendar that helps me remember a lot of this.  It is interesting how a little note like "date with Skip" can cause you to remember a lot more.
As you read the stories always remember this was 1964.  Things were a lot different then than they are now but in thinking back - not all bad.

After a very long and slightly calamitous day arriving at Stephens College sleep was a welcome relief.  I can imagine that before my eyelids closed I tried to remember the names of our suite mates and all the other girls I had met in the last few hours. Did that girl, Cathie, sleeping in the nearby bed with a giant teddy bear really put her hair up in a rubber band on top of her head while I carefully put rollers in my hair? I really hated her the next morning when she popped out of bed and brushed her hair into a beautiful flip.  Did she actually open her suitcase, grab an armload of clothes and stuff it in the dresser drawers?  What did she think when I carefully unpacked with neatly folded clothes being placed in the dresser drawers in some sort of order?

We had arrived at Stephens at 2:30 in the afternoon and the 6:00 dinner hour came rather quickly.  There was actually a twelve page booklet on the do's and don'ts of eating in the Dining Hall.  The big requirement was that you had to wear hose and heels to dinner. There were tables that seated eight covered in crisp, white table cloths.  One girl, designated by where you sat, was the Hostess who presided over the meal.  Proper etiquette filled several pages of the book and I often wondered how many or if any girls struggled with any of the rules.  The one great thing was that the food was outstanding and it became very evident through the year that one could easily gain weight eating three meals a day in the Dining Hall.

                                 Interesting Dress Code Just To Eat

                                   Even though we arrived on campus a week before classes started there was not a lot of free time.  The second day consisted of a Hall Meeting for everyone in the dorm.  At this meeting the Hall Mother, a very stern looking woman who looked to be ninety, laid out the rules for the dorm. There was to be "room check" every week to make sure we had good housekeeping practices, when leaving the dorm in the evening we had to sign out on a card stating where we were going and with whom and sign in upon our return.  Of course, she would be standing there as we signed in and out to make sure we were properly dressed and sober upon arrival back. If you were late the door would be locked and you had to ring the doorbell for her to let you in. The rule was that you had to be in by 10:00 on the weekdays and 12:00 on Friday and Saturday.  Any infraction would be swiftly dealt with by the Hall Council made up of girls living in the dorm.

For some reason I was picked as the South Hall representative on the Junior Class Steering Committee.  I could not imagine then, nor to this day, how I was bestowed with this honor.  Did I really appear as a sweet little goody-two-shoes?  Would I really set an example of a Stephens Susie who was perfect in every way?  It was obvious on that day that the Hall Mother felt I could do no wrong but she would be in for some big surprises as the year progressed. Do I really remember her as always wearing a black dress and matronly shoes?

Stephens College had an interesting way of looking at your college education in that your first couple of years should be spent exploring curriculum you were interested in.  They required that a student take seventeen hours with a max of nineteen per semester.  This was only eight hours of required courses and the rest of the classes devoted to art, dance, science etc.  Girls were also required to have Saturday classes.  Would you believe a physical education class in Equestrian Riding?  Yes, Stephens had a stable out by their lake and girls did bring their horses to school.

That first week there were two days of Placement Tests?  Never have figured that one out.  Then there were welcoming shows, teas, registration for local, on-campus sororities, and a many other things we were required to attend.  The important meeting of the week was with your advisor. I had put on my application that I wanted to major in Drama with an interest in Television Radio and Film Production. The Professor I got for an advisor was in charge of of the Television classes and he helped me pick classes in Drama to enroll in.  Later I would find out how involved he was in my life at Stephens.

With all of the events of that week we still had time to explore the campus, realize that downtown Columbia was one block west from the campus and the University of Missouri started one block south of our dorm. There were four of five clubs in town that had bands on Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights so lots of chances to meet boys and dance. The clubs also offered free pitchers of beer to Stephens Susie's on Sunday afternoon.  I found that interesting as legally no one at Stephens was old enough to drink and if you got caught drinking it was an automatic trip home the next day. Even more interesting was that these clubs were packed with Stephens girls and University of Missouri boys every Sunday.

I really feel that Mother missed the boat when she thought she was sending me to a girls college and that there would be no boys around.  What a surprise to her if she had known that boys were on campus all the time.  The very first Saturday night I was at Stephens the college had a mixer with boys invited to attend from the University of Missouri, Kemper Military Academy and Westminster College. It was surprise to me to find out that four boys from Muskogee were attending Westminster including Barry Bayless and John Cable from my class. That was a fun evening dancing to a local orchestra from Columbia using all our proper manners.

It was also the week that the group of eight girls at the west end of South Hall got to know each other and form a friendship that would last the year for some of us or a lifetime for some.  There were Pam and Paula both from California, Woody from Memphis and Sally from Montgomery, Erin from Lansing, Mi and Mary from Hudson, Ohio and Cathie and I from Texas and Oklahoma. It was a very diverse group logistically and socially but we all managed to bond together quite well. The number eight worked out perfectly for the dinner table in our heels and hose, maybe without all the correct manners.

It was during that first week living with Cathie I came to realize that she was always late, never met a stranger, would do or say anything to anyone, would break any rule and filled our room with laughter morning, noon and night. There would be ups and downs through the year but the differences never lasted more than a few minutes.  Besides she had the Kingmen's album with Louie, Louie on it so how could I stay mad at her. 

The adventure was only just beginning.

Heading Off To College

The Summer of 64 seemed to pass very quickly at times and drag endlessly at others.  It was a learning experience having my first real job and one that I did well enough at that my boss asked me to return the next summer. The knowledge that I was leaving everyone and everything I knew for the first time in eighteen years was a mixture of excitement and apprehension or perhaps sheer terror would be a more apt explanation.

Shortly after my acceptance letter came in the mail from Stephens College in Columbia, Missouri a book arrived in the mail that was a guideline for all students. There was also a letter that told me who my roommate was as the college picked those on the basis of the home visit done by the college representative done during my senior year. Mother got in contact with my new roommate's mother and took charge of decorating the room since we had visited the college during the summer. She immersed herself in "With In The Ivy" and gleamed over all the rules and regulations.  The worst part was that she shopped for clothes for me.  I tried to match the clothes she bought to my stacks of Seventeen magazines and wondered what style books she was looking at.  Ah, but there was no arguing with Mother.


While Mother is planning my life at Stephens, Dad had a different idea.  He thought it would be nice if I just stayed home and went to college at Northeastern State University. It was a short commute and he would buy me a  Corvette or even a 1953 MGTD, which was my choice.  It was tempting.  Looking back now I realize that I probably knew what was going on with both parents but did not have the courage to just tell them they needed to stop the tug of war over me.  Mother wanted the prestige of sending her daughter off to a private girl's college.  Dad wanted his only daughter, his only buffer between he and my Mother, not to leave. Although Dad and I never talked about it we both knew what I had to do as neither of us was able to say no to Mother. It was a good thing I worked six days a week, spent as little time at home as possible and tried very hard not to think about any of it.

Back in 1964 there were a lot more rules for female students to live by. Stephens was no exception but perhaps due to the history of the college,  a little more strict.  In 1833 the Columbia Female College was established to provide a higher education for the girls in town. In 1857 the Columbia Female Academy was incorporated into the Baptist Female College.  Finally in 1870 an endowment fund saw the name of the institution changed to Stephens College and in 1911 was reorganized to provide emphasis on the education of women in the first two years of college.  By the mid-sixties it became a full four year college.

Stephens had hours that girls had to be in their dorms unlike the University of Missouri a few blocks away.  Sunday through Thursday you had to be in by 10:00 and 12:00 on the weekends.  You signed in and out of the dorm stating where you were going on the weekend nights and the dorm Mother was always there when you signed in.  If you broke one of the three cardinal rules which were (1) No Drinking of alcoholic beverages (2) Do not enter a man's living quarters (3) Do not leave the county limits during the day or the city limits at night.  Failure to heed these rules was an immediate plane ticket home.  Sounded great to parents. I guess I figured those were going to be pretty simple to follow.  Right?

Finally departure day arrived. Stephens had made plane reservations for all of the incoming freshmen.  I was to fly from Tulsa to Kansas City to meet up with all the girls from the western part of the country.    At the same time planes landed in St. Louis with all the girls from the east.
Chartered buses were to meet us at the airport and we would then be off to Columbia. I had never flown before, I was going off to college, I had luggage for the first time in my life all of which should have been very exciting.  Upon landing in Kansas City all the girls were put into a large group while waiting for more planes to land.  

A plane ticket from Tulsa to Kansas City was $40.25 in 1964

It was one of those times when all the insecurities and shyness seemed to overwhelmed me.  I looked around at all the others girls giggling and laughing dressed in their Seventeen Magazine outfits with blonde hair and I wanted to hide in a corner and have a good cry.  Mother had made me get my blonde hair dyed back to it's natural brown color so I looked wholesome.  To make the day really perfect she had decided I should wear a brown dotted swiss dress with awful shoes that hurt my feet. Brown is not my color and had there been zombie movies at the time I would have been cast in an instance. But the worst was not over yet.

No one told me, nor was it mentioned in the book Mother studied so intently, that upon arrival at Stephens College the streets would be lined with boys from the University of Missouri.  It was a tradition that the boys came by what seemed to be the hundreds to check out the new crop of Stephens Susie's as we were called.  As I shuffled, yes shuffled, because my feet would no longer bend in those shoes I was wondering what I was doing in this place. I could only slide my feet along the pavement or pick them up and put them down flat much like a horse tromping down the street.  Getting to my dorm room on the fourth floor I passed through more giggling girls finding out where everyone was from.  I heard New York City, Los Angeles, Hawaii and on and on. How could I tell anyone I was from Muskogee, Oklahoma?  Who ever heard of anyone from Muskogee?  How many actually knew where Oklahoma was on the map?  The bright spot had to be that Merle Haggard had  not yet recorded that song as somehow it does not compare to 'New York, New York',  'San Fransisco Here I Come' or 'Chicago Is My Kind Of Town'.

South Hall at Stephens College

The dorm room was stacked with boxes that had been shipped ahead of time. The rooms were set up so that two rooms shared a bathroom with a shower, sink and toilet. There was not much I could do until my roommate should up so I sort of hid in the room.  Girls came in and out, introductions were made and names and hometowns swirled around me in a blur.  Where could the mysterious roommate be?  Surely she arrived in Kansas City and on the stream of buses about the same time I did.  Maybe she wasn't coming?  Maybe I could just hide in that room all by myself. Why did I ever let myself get talked into coming to this place?

About the time I was ready to break down and have a good cry a girl walks into the room.  She said "Hi, I'm Cathie.  You have to be my roomie".  Every  insecurity I ever had and maybe some new ones cut through me like a knife that moment she walked in the door.  She had the most brilliant blue eyes I had ever seen, beautiful blonde hair and she filled any room with her presence.  She would always remind me how my mouth dropped open when she appeared in the room. Needless to say it was a very rocky start for me at that moment to believe I would like her or that I could get along with her.

Cathie

At least she was from Midland, Texas and not a glamorous place. That first day with Cathie was interesting to say the least especially when she went searching for one particular box that she had to find.  Upon opening it, out came a very well worn four foot tall teddy bear named Jex.  Jex slept with her every night.  Even though I seriously wondered how out of eighteen hundred girls and seven boys attending Stephens College that fall I ended up with Cathie I would soon learn everyday was an adventure.  I would also learn a lot about myself.