Growing up and living life as a baby boomer is and has been an exciting and fun roller coaster life.
Wednesday, October 23, 2019
Too Many Decisions
Any person in their right mind would have spent the day before a big test staring at notes and equations and chemical formulas. I, on the other hand, went to work at the Library and did not think much about any of it. The Library Board was getting a little impatient with me over the fact that their were three applications on my desk that they wanted me to look over and pick the person I thought should replace me. But that would have to wait until next week when I had time to think about whether I wanted to be replaced or not.
Dennis arrived home that night after what sounded like two miserable weeks in Detroit, tired of living in a motel, slow progress on the house, airline complaints and of course, a long list of things I should have gotten done. Nothing unusual about that but there was nothing he could do or say that was going to cause me to get upset. I nodded my head at the appropriate times and let it all just fly on by me.
The next morning I was up and out of the house a good hour and a half before time for the test. That was after Dennis needed instructions on how to take care of the boys for the day. I told him to get butter cakes from Klipples for breakfast and meatball sandwiches from the Deli for lunch since making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich might be too difficult. My excuse for leaving early was that I needed to find Temple University and the test room - left out the part that I had already done that and just wanted to get away.
Arriving at the university I ran into a couple of the people who had taken the Kaplan refresher course with me. They were madly comparing notes on formulas and chemistry equations with looks on their faces that the end of the world was only a few hours away. There was the fleeting thought that perhaps I should be doing the same thing but that quickly vanished as I strolled around the beautiful campus and let memories of the day with Barney float through my mind. There was a definite calming effect to think about how it felt to hold his hand as we walked on the beach or how safe I felt when he would stand behind me, put his arms around me and kiss the top of my head.
Seated in the test room, pencils and calculator in hand waiting for the test person to click the stopwatch and say "go" I knew I was ready.
There were three parts to the test, Biology, Chemistry and Physics with a fifteen minute break in between each section. When I had taken the test six years before Physics was my low score which should not have been a surprise since I had dropped out of the class after the first test. Lucky for me the Physics test was the first part. I was a little worried because I flew through it and actually got done fifteen minutes before the buzzer went off. Thank you, Dr. Grey! The Biology and Chemistry both seemed like grade school stuff.
As soon as I was done with the test I dashed out of the building to go find a pay phone. Actually I had no desire to rehash the test with anyone as most looked like they had been run over by a truck or that their dreams had all been smashed. I called Barney and he picked up the phone on the first ring. I said "Thank you" as soon as he said hello. He must have been surprised at that comment and could not imagine why I would thank him. I explained that his giving me all the moral support on Thursday made me not nervous or apprehensive in anyway. That I either aced the whole thing or didn't get anything right. We'd know in four to six weeks when the scores arrived but I felt like I had done well.
I arrived home to find we had a contract on the house for the asking price. That was good news since I would not have to listen to Dennis complain about no one wanting to live in Riverton or how awful the house was. Instead I got to listen to all the things I needed to take care of since the boys would be out of school in a couple of weeks and we could move then. Aaah....the house is currently barely in studs and we are going to go ahead and move....where? Oh, a motel but it would only be for a few weeks. Ford Motor Company would cover all our living expenses and for one month we could have two rooms. Wow! He had been complaining about living in a motel for two months and he wants all of us to live in one for God knows how long?
Divorce. That was a word you only heard in Riverton with very bad connotations. Almost everyone I knew had been married for decades through good and bad times. Divorced people just seemed to disappear from town and were not thought well of. My only workable idea to stay in Riverton and let Dennis move on was to try to keep my job at the library and live for free in the upstairs. The Library had a young college type girl who lived upstairs and cleaned the Library for her rent. I had myself convinced that it was a possibility but the real problem was how was I going to approach the board with it.
I had put off talking to the President of the Library Board because she was sort of an example of what I wanted to be like when I grew up. She was cute, preppy and very caring about the Library as well as the town itself. She lived in one of the mansions along the river with huge gardens and a stainless steel sink in the Butler's Pantry. She had a nice looking husband and a couple of perfect college age children. Even on my worst days it was impossible for me to talk to her or anyone in town about my problems. It was just better to go around pretending everything about my life was perfect. So, I never presented my plan to stay maybe partially because it would be hard to admit since I had done a pretty good job in the four years we had been there to appear happy.
Then there was always that nagging thought that perhaps after being told most of my life I was dumb or stupid I really could not make it on my own.
I finally told the Board that a young man who had applied for the Librarian's position would be an excellent choice. He was a Riverton native, knew everyone in town and was a avid reader. Sis would carry on with the small children's activities and I was sure he would think of things for the bigger kids to do. All of the volunteers liked him so I guessed he would do well. Michael worked with me for a couple of days and I realized that he knew more about the Library than I did since he had grown up hanging out there. I sadly bid my farewell to the place. It had really been a fun job and did a lot to make me feel at home in the community.
School was finally out the first part of June. Wes got all dressed up for his eighth grade graduation ceremony. I hardly recognized him in clothes other than the popular black rock star shirts that were the current fad. Both boys had come to realize that moving was just part of the routine and perhaps a bit of an adventure. They were pretty lucky in that they got to go to places a lot of kids never got to see and have the experience of doing a lot of different things. By the time we left New Jersey Wes, age 13 and Wally, age 9 had touched the Liberty Bell and wandered through Independence Hall, been to New York, spent a week in a beach house on the Atlantic Ocean. been to Block Island and learned to snow ski. Wes learned to sail and Wally learned he was not an much of a sports person but he had a plethora of friends.
All-in-all the boys were doing well with the thought of moving. I kept up my usual happy front for them but was not doing well at all.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
She's Back
I knew it had been a long time since I added to my rather lengthy story but was surprised that it had been since May of last year. Many r...
-
Sometimes it is hard to look back at a particular time frame and remember just what was going on in our lives and the world around us. ...
-
In the spring of 1958 I, along with 109 other little bright eyed sixth grade Whittier children, looked forward to summer days knowing th...
-
I am sure that there are a lot of people will not even look at this posting due to the title. They are the same people who want better ro...
No comments:
Post a Comment