What A Special Day!

Riverton School

It had been three months since I left Kansas City even though at times it seemed like three years.  It was rather hard getting adjusted and with winter there were not people in the yards or walking down the sidewalks to at least say hello to.  I did have Sis and her family and plenty to keep me busy but I quickly brightened up when Barney called and said he would be in Philadelphia in two weeks giving a seminar. That was the best news I had heard since arriving in New Jersey.

Barney and I had talked on the phone practically every Tuesday morning since I moved to Riverton.  For the most part the conversations were what was going on with my decorating the house or his work, the funny stories about the plumber, Harry, who liked to discuss our pipes as if he was a member of the household, how Lauren, who had graduated from law school, was having trouble passing the bar exam and how everyone in Kansas City wanted me to come back. We both stayed away from discussions that about our very complicated relationship. It was enough to know for the time being that both of us had promised not to disappear from each others lives again.

With Barney coming I realized that I had no idea of what to do in Philadelphia for a day with him.  Dennis was not much at looking at all the sights and we had only driven through the area a few times usually not stopping anywhere.  Barney was flying in one day, staying at the hotel in downtown Philly where the seminar was that evening and then not flying home until the next night.  So our plans were for me to meet him the morning after the seminar and we would spend the day together.  It suddenly became time for lots of research and venturing across the river to not only be able to get there and get home by myself but finding things to do.

There was no way I could learn all the history of that city in a year much less two weeks.  I must have studied something about Philadelphia in high school but that had all faded from my brain.  So, I learned something about the fact that Independence Hall where the US Constitution was written, the Liberty Bell, Ben Franklin and other points of history were right in the downtown area. Then there were the more modern day things that happened there such as that was where American Bandstand was broadcast from with all those people I grew up watching dance and all those people that became famous singing that were from one particular neighborhood. Then there were the "Rocky" movies that showed Rocky running up and down many steps and through some place with lots of vendors and barrels with fires burning in them. 

Armed with maps, addresses and a list of points of interest I spent two days looking at the city and learning how to get around without getting too lost at every turn.  I think at heart I am a big city person.  When we moved to Kansas City and lived in a motel for a month to retain my sanity I loaded the kids in the car every morning after breakfast and explored the city everyday until 5:00 when Dennis arrived back from work. There had not been the time to do that moving to Riverton and the depression about even being there kept me from exploring.  My little research project for Barney's visit made me fall in love with Philadelphia and all the history and old buildings. My tour information  could have kept us busy for months.

On the appointed day I drove the ten or fifteen minutes into the city and put the car in the hotel parking lot.  Lucky for me it was a beautiful sunny day in the 50's and for a great walking tour. When I saw him sitting in a chair in the lobby waiting for me I had the sudden thought that maybe there was something else we could do besides going on a fact filled walking tour of Philadelphia. I surprised him by plopping down in his lap before he noticed I was there. The next few minutes were probably very interesting for the little skinny desk clerk guy to view as we engaged in more than a few kisses.  

Barney made the suggestion that maybe we should head for the elevator, I just sort of sat there trying to make a decision and he finally said maybe not a good idea because it would be too hard for him to leave at the end of the day. So, I jumped up, grabbed his hand and told him his carriage awaited as we headed for the door.  Poor little skinny desk clerk guessed wrong.  Outside waiting for us was a horse drawn carriage to take us on a tour with someone else giving out all the history.

The carriage ride took us all around Market Square, Independence Hall and let us off so Barney could touch the Liberty Bell.  After an hour ride over the cobblestone streets, along the wharf and by all the historic townhouses the carriage dropped us off at Bookbinder's Restaurant for lunch.  After lunch we took a long hike to the Italian Market which did become one of my most favorite places in the world. It is about three blocks long on South 9th Street and is the place where Rocky ran through in the movie with the barrels of fire.  The street is blocked off to cars and is lined with little shops selling food products.  The cheese shop has a wonderful aroma of all the different types of cheese hanging from the ceiling, the fish shops have all varieties if fresh fish laying on beds of ice and then are bakeries, sausage shops and fresh vegetables. In warm weather there are stands selling everything outside along the street.

The hike back to the hotel took us through the Italian neighborhood where American Bandstand was broadcast from and to the famous Pat's Philly Cheese Steak Sandwich place. It is located on a little island with roads running on all four sides of it.  All they have are the Cheese Steak sandwiches and fries so the only questions they ask when you order are do you want onions and whiz.  Better say yes as that is the only way they really want to make them during the 24 hours a day that they are open. Gino's is across the street serving the same thing so there is a constant argument about who has the best.  My preference has always been Pat's because of the severe lack of ambiance and the way they yell at you in the typical South Philly slang.

On the hike back to the hotel Barney said he had been to Philadelphia  several times before but never ventured out of a hotel. I guess I did a good job on my quick research about the city as he could not wait to come back.  He did miss me as much as I missed him and both of us were afraid that somehow my move would change how we felt about each other or how much fun we had together. It was a little harder than it had been before to leave him at the hotel but we got back just in time for him to catch the shuttle to the airport. It was a great day even though there was some sadness that it would be awhile before I saw him again.

Actually Barney's visit and my needing to learn more about Philadelphia became the turning point in how I looked at Philly, New Jersey and the east coast in general.  Prior to that day I think it was an effort to make friends, go places with Sis, want to even venture out of the house or get excited about what the boys were doing. It was almost like Barney's visit was like someone throwing me a life preserver while I was drowning in the Delaware River. I guess I realized that whatever strange complicated relationship Barney and I had was still the same.

It was now time to take Sis up on the Porch Club, the Friday pot-luck lunches at someone named Bay's house and act more agreeable when I met new people. Every time Dennis said something negative about the house, the area, the people, his job, his weight or how dumb I was I would just smile to myself how much I really love living here.  

We will see how that attitude works.

Lots of Ups and Downs

The Episcopal Church in Riverton

After Christmas when everyone went back to work and school there were a million things I needed to do with the house.  Sis would call every morning to see what I had planned for the day and usually invited me to go here or there.  Most days I would find myself telling her I had things to do at home and beg off from what ever she invited me to do.  I guess I had sunk into some state of depression without really realizing it.  After putting on my "Happy Face" for the family and friends from Kansas City that would call there was simply no energy left to do anything.

Maybe it was just January after the holidays or the fact that it got dark at 4:30 in the afternoon on the east coast or that there was so much to do I did not know where to start.  The good thing is that I am one of those people who gets out of bed every morning thinking what a great day it will be. If the day didn't turn out so great there was always tomorrow. By the end of January the tomorrows turned into todays and I started going places with Sis and making decisions on the house.

There was a small paint and wallpaper store in Palmyra less than a mile away.  It was a good place to try to get some idea of what to do as far as the house was concerned.  In my usual fashion I had decided to do Wes and Wally's rooms first.  Every wall in the house had wallpaper even the inside of the closets.  Why?  That and a lot of other questions I did not even know enough to ask were answered by the young man  who owned the store.  There was a lot to learn about paint as well as wallpaper when it came to plaster walls I had never thought of.

Rick, the young man at the paint store, realized that my smarts about wallpaper were different from his as well as my love of latex paint. He actually made a trip to the house to look it over and make me feel stupid. I didn't know that you never put latex paint over oil paint. Naturally, all the paint in the house was oil based, probably lead filled as well, but as long as I didn't chew on the baseboards it would be fine. 
Wallpaper covered all the plaster walls to not only help hide imperfections but also to hide tiny hairline cracks that could appear from the house settling or an earthquake.

New on the market was a magic primer that would prevent the old wallpaper from bleeding through to the new layer.  No, it would be best not to remove the old paper but to go over it.  The rule was two layers are fine but three layers is a waste of time. By using the new magic oil based primer called Kilz I could not only hide the old wallpaper but give the new a base for the wallpaper to adhere to.  Wow, the magic Kilz was only $35.00 a gallon since there was no other product on the market to compete with it. Was Rick being honest with me or was he just seeing $$?  Hmm....I could have sunk into a deeper depression with the thought of $35.00 a gallon Kilz, $41.00 a gallon for oil based paint and whatever hundreds of rolls of wallpaper were going to cost. 

Starting to work on the redo of the house was good for me.  Secretly I had been in an "oh, whoa is me mode" for over three months. Here I was thirty-four years old and my only new friends, Sis and Gus and Mary Jane and Danny, were thirty years older than I. I could still burst into tears at the grocery store because I could not understand the "Jersey" accent when someone spoke to me.   (The people in Riverton really had more of a mid-western speech pattern) Naturally one would think that other Ford Motor Company wives would be good to make friends with.  I have always said I could write a book on corporate wives that move around every few years. For now I will just say the less conversation I had with any of them through the years the better.

Rick had fallen in love with Tug, the new puppy, when he was advising the decorator, me, as to what to do so after school one day the boys and I bundled up and took Tug for a walk to the paint store to look at wallpaper. Tug was so tired by the time we got there that he just sat in Wes' lap and looked at the books.  Wes, of course wanted the drag racing wallpaper again but it was no longer being made.  Wally liked the little bears and bunny rabbits so I needed to point them in a better direction.

They had adjoining bedrooms.  Not always a good thing but somehow I convinced them that maybe they should coordinate in some way.  We talked about how much Wes was enchanted by the river, ocean and boats so a nautical theme might work. Wally was still afraid that the ghosts in the house were going to get him at night so it was decided that Willie the Whale painted on one wall would protect him. I was pretty proud of myself for steering them in the right direction.  Wes' paper had a white background with blue architectural drawings of boats and Wally had a coordinating rib-ticking like paper.  Oh, Wonder how I came up with blue?  At least it was not going to be the pale Wedgwood blue that currently filled the house.  

The boys came home from school one day and were so excited that they had learned that the next evening they could go sign up for a little league wrestling team in Palmyra.  Do I need to say that I was perhaps a little less than excited?  Soccer, baseball or football may have been more to my liking but they told stories how all their new friends were going to sign up and I knew it was their way of wanting to fit in with the new surroundings. What was I to do but take them over to sign up.
It is difficult to describe that experience.  I purchased these rather silly looking suits, shoes and paid the team fee.

Thank heavens the wrestling season was very short or maybe they quit after a short time.  Wes tried but he was a bit of the skinny side for his age bracket which was filled with boys who looked liked they would grow up to star in Hulk movies.  Wally would look at the little boy he was supposed to wrestle, smile and was instantly pinned to the mat. I don't quite think he had much of a competitive spirit.  To top everything off the coach was a rather dislikeable character and yelled some very vile comments at both the boys and the parents in the bleachers. There was actually a fist fight in the bleachers one Saturday morning...maybe that was the about the same time the boys never returned to wrestling
again.  Hooray!

Things were beginning to look up.  The boys had friends and liked their school and teachers, I began hanging out with Sis more and was even invited to join the Porch Club and the Riverton Historical Society.  I was hoping that the Porch Club and the Historical Society was a better way for me to fit into our new town than joining wrestling was for Wes and Wally. French Fry became the terror of all the squirrels in our trees.  There seem to be a never ending stack of squirrel corpses in our basement window wells. Best of all was little Tug who had to be the cutest and smartest dog ever. The boys fought every night over who would get to sleep with him but Wally ended up with him most of the time as French Fry wouldn't let Tug on Wes' bed.

Even with constant grumbling from dear Dennis things were beginning to look up especially after a phone call from Barney.

Getting Adjusted to New Jersey

First View of an Ocean 

Every cloud has a silver lining, or so they say.  I have to admit that the move to New Jersey actually had two.  One was the house and the other was my one new friend, Sis.  It might have been as easy adjustment to the area had we been able to afford a new house in a another suburb with other transients, as we were called.  But Sis helped me learn all the fine points and code of conduct that made Riverton the wonderful little community it was.

Sis, whose real name was Lenore, was one amazing woman.  She had been born in the house a few doors down the street with several brothers and sisters.  When she married Gus they lived in the third floor apartment in the house across from us.  Gus bought the family home when Sis' parents became ill and they moved in and took care of them until they passed away.  I always found it interesting that Gus would not live in the house until he officially purchased it from her parents.  Not too many people I had ever met were born and lived on the same street their entire life. Most important she knew the history of the town as well as everyone in who had lived there in the past sixty some odd years.

The Christmas Candlelight House Tour we had been given tickets for was a fundraising event for the Riverton Free Library.  Libraries were designated as free because they had no public funding.  The finances came from fundraising and private donations.  The house tour, which was held every other year, raised over ten thousand dollars in one night.  Donations from individuals amount to ten of thousands of dollars every year. Of course Sis, who did story time for toddlers and craft sessions for everyone at the library, insisted we go.

It was a eye opening, mid-blowing evening.  I had pretty well scoped out all the town and admired the huge houses along the Delaware River and the Golf Course but had no idea about the true size of them until the tour.  Many of the century old carriage houses had been turned into beautiful private homes,  there were really houses with nine bedrooms, silver sinks in the butler's pantry, third floor ballrooms and all beautifully decorated for the holidays and completely lighted by candlelight.  Besides the houses you also had to stop by what was called the Porch Club for refreshments and the Episcopal Church for Christmas carols.  It was really a good thing that Wes and Wally did not go one the tour but stayed with Mary Jane and Danny next door.  Wally really would have thought for sure that our house belonged on Worser Homes and Gardens.

Sis had filled me in on the Adams family that had lived in our house for forty five years.  A builder had built our house and the house next door about the turn of the century and lived in our house until the Adam's purchased it in 1935.  Mr. Adams owned a company in Philadelphia that made items like birdbaths, park benches and tables, laundry sinks, sundials and much more out of concrete.  He had been the State of New Jersey President of the Rotary for many years.  They had one daughter and Mrs Adams rode the bus to Philadelphia everyday for work after Mr. Adams retired, she gardened in a denim skirt, hat and gloves, never wore slacks and was a member of the Porch Club.  They owned a home in Ft. Meyers Florida where she would spend the summer with their daughter.  When Mr. Adams retired they would leave Riverton every October and return in April. Pretty typical east coast lifestyle - if one could afford it. Oh and by the way, the kitchen in the house was still the talk of the town as it was the first updated kitchen in the 1950's. Would you believe cabinets custom built by the Murphy Door Bed Company of New York City?

So here we were in this town where all my neighbors were well into their sixties and very set in the way things should be done.  We had managed to whack down the shrubbery, put Christmas lights on the house, put up an artificial tree a month too early and had a driveway full of a strange trailer and an old car.  We were also living in a house that had belonged to pillars of the community, that would always be known as the "Adams' House" for as long as we lived there and that needed to be totally redecorated.  The Christmas house tour made the decorator in me want to gut the house and start over.  I remember the idiot real estate woman who showed us the house telling me that I would probably want to get rid of the old gas stove, install a dishwasher, replace the 1950' venetian blinds with metal mini blinds and a long list of other improvements.  I tried to think about redecorating but I, who could walk into any one's home and tell them what to do, could not make a decision to do anything.

Actually there was more to think about as it was Christmas and it was important that the boys first Christmas in the new, old house was a happy one.  They both had their long lists for Santa of the things they wanted to see under the tree.  That was easy but then Dennis came up with the idea that they should get a dog. Oh, please!  In the fourteen years we had been married there had been eight dogs, all ones Dennis wanted, only to be given away for one reason or another by him. Plus we had no fence, it was winter and not the nicest time to walk or house train a dog.  I protested while he went looking.

Three days before Christmas Dennis came home from work and announced we were going that evening into Philadelphia to look at some puppies.  No one goes to LOOK at puppies and kittens - you are pretty well assured that you are going to bring one home.  So off we go to look at some English Springer Spaniel puppies.  The puppies were born on the day that the Phillies won the World Series and the lady had named them for some of the baseball players on the team.  They were all adorable but the cutest was Tug McGraw.  Wes and Wally were ecstatic as we drove home and although I was not in favor of getting a puppy I have to admit it was an instant love affair.  The boys decided we needed to keep the name Tug not only because of the baseball player but also for the tugboats that escorted the barges up the Delaware River to unload foreign cars across the river.

TUG

We spent our first Christmas in the house with no company as none of the Oklahoma relatives seemed to want to venture off to the east coast.
Dennis and the boys were both off school and work for three weeks and
we spent a lot of time exploring the area.  Wally had gotten twenty dollars from Dennis' parents for Christmas and when we decided to go skiing he spent his money on a little blue snow suit.  Wes spent his on art supplies as the art teacher at the Riverton school was very inspiring to him.

Going skiing meant that we had to drive about an hour and a half to the Poconos in Pennsylvania.  They were not huge mountains but nice enough for beginner skiers.  Wally went to ski school for half of the day while Wes, who had never skied before, flew down the trails at his usual head long speed and did very well.  When Wally got out of ski school he had learned a lot but definitely needed some practical experience.  I will never forget him, at six years old, starting down the trail and hitting a mogul.  He flew up into the air and spun around in a circle several times with his little arms and poles stuck straight out much like a helicopter before crashing into the snow. Naturally we thought he would be dead or injured but he got right up and continued on down the hill. Both of the boys became addicted to skiing that day although it took me more than one day to fall in love with the sport.

In all the moving and trying to get settled in the two months we had been in New Jersey we had not ventured to see the ocean.  Being only forty-five miles from Atlantic City we made the drive on cloudy, cold day. That was a first for all of us.  To get there we drove through miles of what is termed the Pine Barrens.  Hundred foot pine trees grow along the highway in the sand. Atlantic City and most of the little communities that are filled with summer homes sit across the bay on Long Island. I had only been once to the Gulf coast of Texas and there was no comparison with the Atlantic Ocean.  The boys ran on the beach with Tug and we walked on the Boardwalk of Atlantic City. 

This was 1980 and casino gambling had only been legal for a couple of years.  There several huge casino/hotels along the boardwalk but there also were all the quaint little shops that catered to tourists in the summer, The Planters Peanut shop, lots of salt water taffy and of course, the Convention Center where the Miss America Pageant was held every year. Sis had told me that back in the day before the casinos and decent roads there was a train that took people from Philadelphia to Atlantic City and that after five o'clock in the evening men had to wear coats and ties and women had to wear dresses.  Even without the casinos back then there were also sorts of venues for singers and comedians plus very fine restaurants. I never could decide whether the change was a good one or bad one.

I have to admit that New Jersey was a little colder than Dallas.  The river did freeze often in the winter time and you could hear the ice breakers plowing through the ice to keep the shipping channel open.  I found the radiators worked quite well but Dennis never thought they worked at all since there was never that noise of central heat kicking on and off.  There was a great fireplace in the living room but the first time we tried it the house filled with smoke.  Not a good thing and neither was the cursing by Dennis about the lousy old house, the lousy weather etc. etc.  Sis suggested we call a chimney sweep and they arrived dressed in top hats and tails.  Come to find out the fireplace had never been used and was filled with the original old brick mortar.  A roaring fire in the fireplace really did get the house a lot warmer but then to the extent you could sweat in the living room with it burning.

When the rest of the family went back to work and school I needed to start working on the house. After going on the house tour I had sort of said to myself that it would be fun to be on the next one in two years.  Always good to have a goal but the more I thought about the redecorating the more hesitant I became.  I was some one who could walk into any one's home and develop a decorating plan that suited them and their home.  Before I married Dennis Mother had dragged me to writer's conference in Talequah as she thought she wanted to write.  I probably write more words in one of my stories than she ever wrote but I had a book I purchased from an author called If Walls Could Talk.  The book was written from the perspective of the house and told the story of all the events and people who had lived there. 

Was I so confused and hesitant about redoing the house because the walls were talking to me?  Maybe the house did not want to have the 1930's Chambers gas stove replaced with a slick new one or granite counter tops instead of the quirky little 1950's formica with it's little triangles and metal edge.  It is really hard to explain and will sound a little silly but with all the not wanting to live in New Jersey, the less than pleasant move, Dennis hating everything he could think of and all the blunders we had managed to do against what was the norm in Riverton when the house was quiet there was this very strange feeling that came over me. It was almost like the walls were wrapping themselves around me and creating a sense of calmness that everything would be alright.

Murphy's Law

The first six months in Riverton, New Jersey were simply one calamity after another.  What could go wrong did and everything we did was wrong. Who knows whether it was because we were not very happy being there or if the east coast was so different from everything we knew.

As usual it was my job to make sure the entire family was happy. Why?
There were more days than I wanted to admit to that I just wanted to be transported back to Kansas City or just spend the day crying. No one except or next door neighbor, Danny, popped up on the porch with cookies to welcome us to town the first month we l lived there. Dennis complained more than Wes and Wally about the house, the town, the people, the weather, the garage and me. So it was a real test of my a strength to put on the happy face and try to solve everyone’s problems. 
I wanted to scream and tell all three of them that I didn’t get us into this situation and I was as unhappy as they were. But I didn’t and just put on the happy face and plodded through. 

The moving van came the day after we closed on the house and filled the house with boxes and furniture. It was difficult to really tell the movers where to put what as I had actually only walked through the house a couple of times. Their guess was as good as mine what went where. It might have been easier if Dennis had gone to work that day instead of trying to supervise everything. 

Just as I had not thought out the house he had not given any thought to the fact we had left a two and a half car garage and now had a single car garage built for a Model A.  Naturally it was my fault the the 1950 Mercury, the race car, the motor scooter, workbenches and tool boxes didn’t seem to fit very well. Besides being a tiny garage there were twenty some windows stacked in there that appeared to have resided in the garage for many years. I am sure the language Dennis used that day did not make the neighbors not too eager to rush over. 

My first encounter with a neighbor came about the next day.  Dennis didn’t think I could find a grocery store or navigate the jug handles on my own so after the boys went to school we went off to locate a bigger grocery than the little local one. That was an experience as New Jersey grocery stores carried things I had never heard of before, lots of things I usually bought were not there and shopping took a long time. As we were unloading the groceries at home a lady walked over from across the street with Wally in tow. Seems like the mailman found Wally sitting on the front porch crying because no one was at home. Guess I didn’t realize that kindergarten only lasted until noon. The mailman took him across the street to the neighbors for her to take care of until someone appeared at the house. I also got a lecture from the mailman that a white basket handing by the front porch was not an approved mailbox.  He mentioned he had been trying to get Mrs. Adams to change it for many years. Somehow I rather like the look of it myself.  Not the best impression to make with someone in the neighborhood. Poor little Wally thought we were gone for good. 

About a week later when Dennis had gone back to work and the boys were in school I heard a noise in the kitchen. When I went to explore I found a man in the kitchen. I asked if  I could help him and he said he was there to check out our pipes - referring to them as if they were half his. Interesting!  Then he informed me that his name was Harry from the company that took care of our radiators and provided us with oil for 
the system. The Adams left for Florida every winter and he would come 
and drain the system after they left and fill them up again a week before they returned. I got an hour lesson about the “our” radiator system complete with radiator covers and humidity trays and that he did have a key and would come and go as needed or wanted.  Guess we now could add him as a member of the family since they were “our” pipes. 

I have to admit that the hemlocks and the shrubs in the front of the house were perhaps a little overgrown since it was difficult to see out the front windows. Dennis spent an entire weekend pruning them in his words. Our next door neighbors who had not spoken to us in the three weeks we lived there referred to the trimming as “killing” them which was something that was not done in Riverton. Dennis was also obesessed with the fact that there were leaves in the fish pond in the backyard and the poor Koi needed more room to swim.  He cleaned out all the leaves which later proved to not be such a grand idea. 

About the same time a little gray haired lady from across the street appeared on the front porch. Again no introduction but very angrily 
informed me that our cat had eaten the baby cardinals they enjoyed watching every morning from the breakfast table. French Fry, the cat, had been venturing outside but I didn’t think he would have eaten the little birds. She informed me that although she did not see him do it she had found bits of yellow fur on the nest and tree branches. I apologized, scolded the cat but beyond that I guess he would stalk whatever he wanted. Three weeks and three neighbors who don’t like us very well. 


Thanksgiving weekend we put up the artificial Christmas Tree decorated with my designer red velvet bows and red velvet apples that both Wes and Wally hated. Dennis outlined the roof in lights and I hung the fake wreath over the door knocker engraved with the Adam’s name. Isn’t that what you do Thanksgiving weekend?  A couple of days later while I was out raking my tenth or so bag of leaves another gray haired lady walked up the drive and actually introduced herself. Wow!  Someone who has a name!

Her name was, of all things, Sis. I didn’t ask about that. She was quite nice, seemed to know all about us which made me realize we were probably the talk of the town. When she informed me that she had never seen Christmas lights on a house in Riverton I realized we had pulled off another faux pas. When I invited her in the house I also found out that no one puts up a Christmas tree before Christmas Eve unless your house was on a house tour and certainly no on ever has a fake tree. This was not going well at all. 

Sis asked what church we attended. Boy, that was going to be another black mark on us so I fudged a little and told here I was raised in the Episcopal church. I did not mention that I had not set foot in one since the day I got married. Nor did I mention that Dennis was anti-religion and the only time in fourteen years I had been in a church was for weddings and funerals. She was delighted to hear I was an Episcopal as that huge church one block down the street was Episcopal and invited me to attend with her the next Sunday. 

The only way I could answer was to give a resounding yes. Quick thinking made me realize the roof of the church might fall in but here was the first neighbor in a month who actually introduced themselves before the “we don’t do that in Riverton” came. The other interesting thing I learned was that she had lived her entire life, which I guessed to be about sixty years, on that very same block. That was very useful information as it made me realize that very few people from the outside world moved into Riverton. I lived in what would always be the Adam’s house and all the small little unspoken town rules were not to be broken. I had the feeling that Sis was going to be very helpful. 

The exception to the stand-offish neighbors was Danny, next door.  He would show up most evenings with pizza from a three hundred year old oven in Philadelphia, cases of Tastycakes or toys for Wes and Wally. His wife, Mary Jane, was a very interesting lady and always could make me laugh. I was amazed that at fifty-eight years old she did not drive, cook or do much of anything except ride the bus to Philadelphia to shop or get her hair done. I’ll get to her story one of these days as it is a great one. 

There was still at least one time everyday when Dennis would proclaim he hated the house, the garage, New Jersey and still blamed me for 
everything that made his life unhappy. So between Dennis and four neighbors that would not talk to us things could have been pretty dismal but I looked on the  bright side. After all two neighbors were talking to us, the boys seemed happy in school and were Tastycake addicts thanks to Danny.

One evening right after the first of December a very pretty lady named Susan knocked on the door even though the Christmas lights might have terrified her. She gave me two tickets to the Christmas Candlelight
Home Tour the following Saturday night. It will be fun to actually go in some of the big old houses especially Susan’s that sat on a huge lot on the river. 

About the same time Sis brought over a Better Homes and Garden Magazine that featured her daughter’s nut cracker collection.  Come to find out she was married to the Lt. Governor  of Colonial Williamsburg, Va.  Wally sat at the kitchen table looking at the pictures of the nutcrackers and the house and announced that our house should be in Worser Homes and Gardens.  Guess after Christmas it will be time to visit the local paint and wallpaper store and try to step up the looks of the house. Wally was sure the house was haunted so maybe I can turn them into happy ghosts.

Hello New Jersey

The Riverton Yacht Club circa 1850

The distance from Kansas City to Philadelphia is 1,125 miles.  On Halloween night we only made it to St. Louis after not getting started until shortly after dark.  That left 885 miles to travel the next day as it would be horrendous if we had to stay in another motel according to Dennis.  After all someone might steal the unfinished race car and trailer we were towing behind us from the parking lot in the middle of the night. Nothing like getting up at 3:00 o'clock in the morning and heading out.

I have to admit that the scenery was rather spectacular.  It was the first of November and the fall foliage was rather spectacular as were all the farms along the Pennsylvania Turnpike. Even with all my negative thoughts about having to move to this area there was the thought that there would be a lot of places to explore.

First things first.  Dennis was positive since we were moving to a high crime area that the race car would be stolen while we camped out in a motel for a couple of nights once we arrived in New Jersey.  The moving company was not relishing the thought of us parking the trailer at their establishment for a few days.  The only option was to locate the Oldsmobile dealership that our new next door neighbor was said to work at.  Of course I was the one who had to go in and ask for a man named Danny Mento who we had never met.

Danny Mento was a gentleman in his sixties, very Italian, who grabbed me an hugged me the moment I told him who I was.  That made it a little easier to pop the question as to where we could park the race car so it would be safe even though I was not accustomed to being hugged by a total stranger. Of course there was no problem in leaving the car at the dealership for a couple of days.  It took nearly an hour to get away as Danny had to meet the boys and introduce us to everyone.  That was the beginning of a friendship with one of the kindest and most interesting gentleman I had ever met.

The next two days before closing on the house gave me time to learn a little about this place we were going to live in.  New Jersey has a lot of interesting aspects that were unknown me.  They have what are called "jug handles" which cause you to turn right if you want to go left. You sort of go around in a half circle and end up turning left.  They were about as confusing as the many traffic circles that appeared.  The other rather fascinating thing was that there is a "Diner" on every corner.  They are some of those places where you can get pretty much any kind of food you want especially pie.  The funny thing is that they all have the same menu and I decided there actually must be a giant kitchen somewhere that sends the food to every diner in under ground tunnels.
How else could hundreds of Diners all taste the same?

Riverton where our new home was had quite a history.  As far back as the 1850's it was the place where wealthy Philadelphians built summer homes to escape the heat of the city. It sits on the Delaware River which is a mile wide and is tide water and only ten minutes from downtown Philly.  Many of the homes along the river had from six to ten bedrooms. I had always heard stories how during the summer on the East coast families escaped cities either to the beach or the mountains and I guess to places along the river.  Riverton does have the oldest yacht club on the Delaware River built in the 1850's.

The Riverton Free Library circa 1853

The township of Riverton was one square mile in area and bordered by the Delaware River, Palymra. Cinnaminson and Riverside.  By saying it was bordered by I mean to say that you had to know which side of certain streets were different townships. The average age of the population was 65 with roughly 3,000 residents and they had one school that was K through 8 with about three hundred kids. There were a few shops especially the best bakery in the history of the world and a deli that made meatballs subs to die for. The fire department was volunteer and they had a Library named the Riverton Free Library with the "Free" meaning no public entity had any control over it.  It was also the location of the origin of the PTA.

If everything seemed strange and different to me it was a little overwhelming for Wes and Wally.  Both had been used to a newly constructed houses and schools, neighborhoods with kids out on their bikes and it always looked like they wanted to cry when people with a real Jersey accent would talk to them. If you drew a line halfway through the state and divided it into north and south it would seem you were in two different worlds.  Riverton sat on the northern edge of southern New Jersey.  We would learn that southern New Jersey actually thought of themselves as separate from the other half of the state for many reasons and the accent was not as bad.  The kids still managed to learn to use the terms "youse, yo and wadder". On Monday I enrolled the boys in school without much trouble then we went off to close on the house.

Mr. and Mrs. Adams who had lived in the house for forty-five years were no happier at the closing than we were. They were in their late seventies or early eighties.  Mr. Adams was in the advanced stages of Alzheimer's and they had made their decision to move permanently to their winter home in Fort Meyers, Florida. I would learn later that they left Riverton every October for Florida and returned in April after he had retired.  

The big surprise at closing was that even though the actual price of the house was the same as the one in Kansas City the house payment doubled. This was not good news!  Due to a 10.5% loan interest rate, $6,000 a year property taxes and $500 a year flood insurance our house payment was now going to be $1,200.00 a month instead of $600.00.  Good old Dennis hated New Jersey before closing on the house but now - from day one - he hated the house.

After the closing and all the bad news we took the boys to see the house.  Needless to say I was the only one who appreciated the really neat older home.  The Adam's had left the house immaculate but it had been years since they had redecorated.  I can remember Mrs. Adams telling me when we looked at the house the first time that her motto had always been if you wanted to paint it had to be a pale Wedgewood blue and she had stuck by that.  There was beautiful grass cloth on the living room walls but you could see where pictures had hung for forty-five years.  The kitchen had a 1932 Chambers gas stove and dark green linoleum flooring.  There was a space off the kitchen for a washer and a laundry sink but who needs a dryer when you could hang your clothes out on the clothes line in the backyard.  Wally did not even want to go up into the completely floored attic easily accessible from the dressing room off the master bedroom which I thought would make a great playroom. 

Then there was the basement.  Actually it was a pretty nice basement.  One large room was finished in Knotty Pine paneling and the other was a work room with the heating system.  The heating system consisted of a monster sized boiler covered in asbestos with pipes jutting out from different places.  It had originally been a coal fired boiler system but now used oil.  A huge oil tank sat in one corner which could be filled from outside.  Needless to say Wally did not want to go in the basement either.

So here we were inspecting a house everyone but me could not see anything positive about.  Dennis was constantly cursing about this or that, Wally is scared that ghosts are going to pop out at any moment, Wes knows he will never be happy here and French Fry, the cat, will probably instantly head back to Kansas City never to be seen again.

It was very funny but as I tried to assure the family that everything would be okay I got a very strange feeling.  It was indeed the house I had always wanted from the time I was fourteen and my family had looked at the old Bower house in Muskogee but didn't buy.  The house instantly felt like it was wrapping itself around me and telling me I was "home"  as if it could actually talk. 

The next day was moving in day was moving in day with the arrival of the van.  Easy day to remember since it was the day Ronald Reagan was elected President.

French Fry, The Cat

Last Job - Then Goodbyes

It would have been easy to feel sorry for myself, send the boys off to school each day and withdraw from the world in depression over the move. I will not deny there were not really times I thought about not even getting out of bed in the morning but I had people who depended on me, commitments I couldn't walk away from and a character flaw that always made me do the right thing.

Taking on the re-do for Gordon and Paula was much more than I had realized in the beginning.  They were in their fifties, no children and had been neighbors of Barney's when he was growing up. I was instantly taken by their home which was in my favorite neighborhood a few blocks from the Country Club Plaza and built in the 20's.  Plaster walls, wonderful woodwork and lots of character dazzled me into not noticing cracked plaster, walls covered in thirty years of cigarette smoke and decor that had gone untouched for thirty years.  Gordon was as gruff as a bear, scared me a bit but Paula was as sweet as an angel.

My need for a contractor who knew how to patch plaster and do a lot of the other things that were totally out of my realm caused me to call a guy named Randy that I had met on the previous wallpaper job. Actually he had assisted me in getting paid for that job.  The builder owed me about nine hundred dollars and would not pay.  Randy had told me I would be lucky to get my money and when I didn't I called him for some advice.  The next day Randy had my check and mumbled something about a gun and a threat but that was not something I needed to hear.  So, not knowing anyone else I called Randy to help me with Gordon's place.

Gordon would call every morning at seven to see what time I was going to arrive and the answer needed to be before eight-thirty when he left for work. We would have a short meeting as to what was going to get done for the day - usually wishful thinking - and he and Paula would go off to work.  I was lucky if Randy showed up by ten, if at all, with his usual bottle of Boone's farm in the truck.  His helper, Jack, was always waiting for me in his little beat-up yellow VW when I got there. 

Jack was in his mid-twenties, long blond hair, a vegetarian and a great worker.  Thank heavens!  Randy ended up being good at getting supplies Jack needed, finding someone to repair the leaded windows and removing them but not very good at actual work.  Until the walls and ceilings were repaired there not not much I could do so Jack taught me all about plaster and how to repair it and to walk on stilts so I could help him. Paula came home for lunch everyday and took a liking to Jack, perhaps the son they never had.  When he told her it was hard to go out to eat because of being vegetarian she started fixing us lunch everyday.
I rather liked that as it was always hard to go back to work after eating lunch out and she got pretty good at making vegetarian fare.

I have to admit that this was probably the most fun job I ever took on aside from all the things I learned from Jack. It was nice to learn the right way to do things instead of by trial and error. So much of what I learned would come in handy later.  Paula taught me how to handle Gordon when he got all puffy about things not going fast enough.  She told me to put both hands on my hips and just stare at him at which point he would all of a sudden apologize for being so gruff and impatient.  Barney also started popping by for lunch several days a week and Paula enjoyed feeding him vegetarian food and watching his face.

While Jack painted I wallpapered the kitchen and two bathrooms.  The last thing to do was 2200 square feet of carpet. The existing carpet had been there thirty years and was 100% wool.  To replace it would cost about $69.00 a square foot which Gordon was willing to pay.  We got into an argument over it because I could find no place where it was even worn so my suggestion was to have it cleaned at the cost of several hundreds of dollars and see what it looked like.  It took a lot of convincing to get Gordon to agree but I won.  When it was cleaned it actually looked better than what was currently on the market.  One of those things that they just didn't make like they used to.  I did suggest he could give me all the money I had saved him.  He just put his hands on his hips and glared back at me.

Spending almost every week day at Gordon's and Paula's from eight-thirty in the morning until three in the afternoon for four weeks kept me busy and my spirits up.  There was not a lot of time to fret about the move. When the job was finished Gordon invited Dennis, the boys and I to visit with them at their cabin on Table Rock Lake for a weekend.  Dennis was not too excited about going to say the least.  We finally came to an agreement on just spending a Saturday with them. It was a fun day for the boys and I, not so much for Dennis but he managed to behave decently.  Who could not be impressed with his 1950's wooden Chris Craft Cruiser that we rode all over the lake in.

The last three weeks in Kansas City was a swirl of goodbye lunches and dinners with all the friends I had made.  There were all my neighbors, the New Neighbors League and much to my surprise my decorating clients like Jim and Lisa and Gordon and Paula.  It did seem strange because in all the years I had lived in Dallas their were not any goodbye affairs but only two years in Kansas City created at last one everyday.

The house did not sell as no houses were selling due to the interest rate.  Ford came through and bought the house at the asking price so that we could go ahead with the purchase in New Jersey.  Dennis came home for the week before the move.  It was not a happy week.  He was hot to trot to get stuff packed up before the people arrived that were going to pack us up. No, that made no sense to me either.  He was after me to throw a lot of my stuff away - all my stuff from high school and college.  I do remember one day when he was pulling out my stuff and pointing out there was no reason to keep it that I picked up one of those ceramic Christmas trees with the little lights on it and smashed it on the floor.  Then I asked him what he was going to leave behind or throw away.  That ended all conversation on what I needed to get rid of.

The packers arrived on Oct 30th.  I made sure the garbage cans were empty and that kitchen things were in the kitchen, bathroom things in the bathroom plus the clothing we would need for four or five days was put aside.  Then I left Dennis in charge and went off to have a very sad and final lunch with Barney.   He assured me he would be in Philadelphia in six weeks for a seminar which sort of made us both feel better but saying goodbye that day was one of the hardest things I ever had to do.

The truck arrived the next day to load up.  We were pulling the race car with the our van but Dennis did not want nor was there room in the van for the fifty Mercury.  At the last minute the company had to send out a truck and a trailer to haul the Mercury on. I guess Dennis thought the Mercury should have had a covered trailer and spent the afternoon arguing with the moving company.  This was one of those times when I really wanted to run away and hide especially since the was Halloween Day. Two little boys arrived home from school in their costumes only to find out they were not going to get to go trick or treating with their friends that evening as Dennis had decided to leave as soon as the truck was loaded.  Tears and begging did nothing to change Dennis's mind.

By the time the truck was loaded not only were the boys crying but I joined in when I had to say the last goodbyes to everyone in the neighborhood who came to see us off.  What would the big deal be if we stayed the night in a motel there and let the boys trick or treat? There was no deadline on getting to New Jersey.  There was just someone wanting to be nothing but mean.


Somehow it did not feel like a good omen to start off to a new home with Wes, Wally and I sitting in the back of the van crying as no one wanted to be anywhere near Dennis.

Maybe I Can Survive

Going to the East Coast to visit could have been a really fun experience but getting back home to Kansas City was one of those really happy moments in life.  What ever excitement there was about finding the house was overshadowed by my thought that there was an Archie Bunker on every corner, I was leaving a large number of great friends and a lot of things I had worked very hard for.  Best not to think about it and just keeping moving forward.

Putting on the "happy face" about the move was really hard but I had to do it for Wes and Wally.  They were pretty devastated by the thought of moving.  Wes was playing soccer and in Cub Scouts along with having a small army of friends to play and ride bikes with. Wally was excited not only to be going to the same school Wes but I think he felt just a little grown-up. It was a good thing that neither of the boys knew that the name of their school meant "hello" or they would have renamed it " Au revoir". They were not impressed with the pictures of the new house and really didn't want to even discuss leaving their home in Kansas City.  Not an easy situation to deal with when I wasn't happy myself.

It took a day or two being back before I had the mental fortitude to call Barney and we met for lunch the next day. Thank heavens he decided a picnic would be good as I really did not think I wanted to have a moving discussion in front of a lot of other people.  It was interesting that in two years of meeting for lunch and doing his house that we had managed never to discuss our marriage situations.  I knew that was about to change when the first words he said to me that day was that he loved me and he did not want to make the same mistake he had thirteen years ago and have me disappear from his life.

I guess I knew this conversation had to come about at some time or another but it was never one I looked forward to having. I began by telling him that there was no way I was going to disappear again but just be a little further away.  For the last month I had tried to rationalize divorcing Dennis and staying in Kansas City but had not been able to find a logical plan.  I told him there was no doubt that I loved him but I had to think about the boys and how I could manage on my own.

From there I went into the fact that besides my Dad I had spent all my life with Dennis and Mother telling me I couldn't do this or that, that I was to stupid, didn't have any talent, my opinion didn't matter and on and on. When I went back to college and took fifty-two hours of math and science for a double major degree in Biology and Chemistry with great grades Dennis would tell people he always thought he would have to put his kids through college but not his wife and nothing about being proud of me.  I loved the one about how I could pick out the house when I made more money than he did and of course how it was my fault when he gained weight.

Years of all the put-downs had taken their toll.  But he, Barney, had begun to make me see that maybe I wasn't so stupid and had encouraged me in everything I wanted to do.  Maybe the timing was all bad for this move as I really had not developed the self confidence to really believe I could make it on my own with the boys. 

When I stopped talking he instantly asked why I was so worried about making it on my own. That I was one of the most talented people he had ever met except for my typing and spelling.  He had also known since the day I popped back into his life that I was the one he wanted to share his life with.  If I wasn't at the point where I could leave Dennis and not agonize taking the boys away from their Dad he understood.  But a move to anywhere was not going to change our relationship as he would always only be a phone call or a flight away. Then he added that he was already setting up some seminars on the East Coast and there were nine medical schools in close range for him to type applications to for me. In other words, do what you feel is right for now and we will be together in the end. 

That was an interesting afternoon and I have to say I felt better about moving if I could find no way to stay.  He talked a lot about his relationship with Lauren and how difficult it would be for him to leave.  We were both sort of in the same situation and not ready to face the turmoil.  He did make me realize after seeing pictures of the New Jersey house that I had won on getting a house I wanted even though it didn't have a picket fence.

I had a million things to do in the next six weeks. In addition to keeping the boys happy I had Gordon and Paula's house to do and I needed to hire a contractor pronto. This was going to prove very interesting as I was again in uncharted territory not knowing anything about contractors.  Just by chance I had met one while doing a huge wallpaper installation a few months before.  Maybe him teaching me how to walk across a board sixteen feet in the air to wallpaper a two story entry way was not a very good recommendation.