Funny How We Learn Some Lessons

                                                              Stephens in the Snow

The interesting thing about Stephens College was that they really encouraged all students to investigate areas of interest in the first two years.  They did not bog students down with all those required classes that everyone hates.  The only ones they required were Physical Education, an English course and one called Ideas in Living Today. They encouraged venturing out and trying new things.

Sounded good to me so when the first snow fell sometime around Thanksgiving I jumped at the chance to go rabbit hunting with a boy I had been going out with. First of all, I love snow.  Growing up in Muskogee, Oklahoma we rarely ever had any but Columbia had lots of it.  The thought of tramping through the snow in the woods close to town was rather exciting. Pam said recently in an email that she remembered the snow in Columbia but I got the idea that living in LA she hasn't seen any since.

                                    The Sidewalk to My Dorm

The next thing to note is that my only experience with a gun was when I was seven years old.  My brother had a BB gun that you had to cock before you fired it.  Well, the first time I tried that I got part of the palm of my hand caught in the stupid thing and had to have seven stitches. At least I didn't shoot my eye out.  My parents never owned a gun except one Christmas my Mother bought my Dad a shotgun thinking he would like to hunt. At age eleven even I knew my Dad was not going to go walking through the woods in his suit, tie and hat for any reason. Don't know what ever happened to the shotgun that never came out of the box.

I cannot remember the boys name so I could not have been too interested in him but I do remember he had a car which was a very big deal.  Off we went to someplace out by Stephens lake.  He should have had somewhat of a clue when I did not know how to hold the rifle. After a few instructions on where the trigger was, how to load and aim the thing we went on search of rabbits. I was very happy just walking through the snow and the thought that I was expected to slay a rabbit never entered my little blonde head.

All of a sudden a rabbit popped up in the snow right in front of us.  That was right after he had scolded me about not talking so much or making so much noise.  Guessed it was like fishing (I had gone fishing a couple of times) so you did not scare the creatures away. Actually I did not see a rabbit.  I saw Thumper and as the boy whispered to me to take aim, Thumper and I made eye contact.  At that point I yelled, "You have got to be kidding!" He took the rifle out of my hand and headed for the car. It was a long, silent trip back to the dorm.  Needless to say I never saw him again.

That one hunting experience taught me that I would never be able to look at an animal without seeing Thumper or Bugs Bunny or Bambi or Bambi's parents.  Fishing became impossible for me when I could not equate their gasping for breath as the compassionate thing to do. I have no problem with other people owning guns and hunting or fishing. But that one beautiful snow covered day taught me something that has stayed with me the rest of my life.

Most of trying of new things worked out better than the hunting episode.  Pam, who lived in the room next door, wanted to go to Temple and explore her Father's religion.  She did not want to go alone so on Friday nights I went with her. I only knew one Jewish boy growing up and he was the one who broke the date to the Prom with me.  Always being curious about different religions I learned a lot about it and gained a lot of respect for the religion and the people.  Pam and I even took Hebrew lessons each week from the Rabbi. It is funny how much Hebrew I actually remember after all these years.

Christmas was the first time we were allowed to go home.  While I looked forward to it there was some apprehension.  All my classes were going well except for one "C" in golf which is a long story.  I knew I had changed a lot in my attitudes about things and wondered how being at home would feel like. It turned out to be very interesting.

Life With Cathie

Cathie

The lessons learned in college are so much more than what you learn in classes and from books.  It is almost like the day you arrive on campus the door at home closed behind you and suddenly you are on your own. How well you succeed academically, the people you meet and the choices you make are now up to you.  There is suddenly no one around to tell you what to do or who you can or cannot be friends with.  Lots of freedom all of a sudden but also lots of responsibility not to make a mess of it.

Then there was Cathie.   It was a rocky start between us from the moment she walked into our room on the day we all arrived on campus.
Naturally she was a couple of hours late getting to the room when we all arrived on campus at the same time.  She always laughed about my mouth dropping open when she walked in and said that I must be her roomie. Besides the big blue eyes, the perfect figure and the blonde hair she was like a magnet and just made people want to be around her.  My best guess was that she was late because she had met half the people in Columbia on her way to the dorm. Our dorm room became the hangout for every girl she met on campus.

 I was totally unprepared to deal with someone who from outwardly appearances did not have a care in the world, never met a stranger or someone she did not like or someone that did not her.  She could pick up a dress off of her closet floor and look like she stepped out of a magazine.  She changed my name on the little sign on our door from Donna to Dee.  In Cat's world the sky was the limit, there was not a rule that could not be broken or anything you could not do.  I had officially entered an alternate universe whether I wanted to or not.

Actually it did not take long to get over my differences with her.  Within two weeks I had blonde hair again.  My neat little stacks of folded clothes disappeared and we were partaking the free beer for Stephens Susies' at the local clubs on Sunday afternoons.  If she thought I was miffed at her about something she would wait until I went to bed and then sit on my bed with that huge teddy bear she slept with and tell stories until we were both laughing. There would be many nights in that year when we stayed up most of the night laughing not because I was mad at her but from the stories each had to tell about some of our daily adventures.

Cat had an incredible knack of getting herself out of situations that could have been really bad.  One night we had accepted dates with two very handsome boys to a party at a house. It was fun for a couple of hours but then it got a little too serious for both of us. We excused ourselves to the bathroom and after a little discussion decided it was best to leave... via the bathroom window. We laughed all the way back to the dorm about the locked bathroom door we had left behind.  Then there was the time she had a date with a guy on a motorcycle.  We could not wear slacks so she rolled the legs of her pants up under her skirt.  Somehow she lost her skirt so she had me throw her a skirt from our fourth floor window so she could get in the dorm in PROPER attire.

There was an all black night club a little ways out of Columbia. Definitely off limits since it was not in the city limits but they had really great performers do shows there.  Could we really miss seeing Jerry Lee Lewis?  It didn't take long to decide it was the chance of a lifetime so....
we hitchhiked out to the club. It was quite noticeable that we were the only two blonde haired, blue eyed white girls in the place. I actually think the crowd was more afraid of us than we were of them.  It was Jerry Lee in his leopard suit, jump on the piano days and great fun. We went back weeks later and saw Ike and Tina Turner. Hitchhiking in those days was fun and Cat had a way of staying out of bad situations that was amazing. If questioned about where we went to school we always said the University of Missouri since those girls did not have strict rules that Stephens did.

There was one evening that we actually did not break any school rules.
One of our friends from Westminster College had gotten hurt playing football with friends and got kicked in the spleen.  He was brought to Columbia to have his spleen removed and called to say he was wanted company after surgery. What our friends for but to visit ailing people in the hospital.  Cat and I walked to the hospital to find Buddy was starving to death.  What he needed was a pizza.  So we got him dressed and sneaked him out of the hospital and off to get a pizza. Luckily we got him back by the end of visiting hours and he did not get caught.  Wonder if he remembers that evening?

Cat kept a diary so each evening before bed we both wrote the stories of the day.  I wish I had mine now as I can imagine there is a lot I don't remember but there was also a lot that perhaps I never wanted my mother to see. Cat's dad was the President of a bank and I have often wondered if he taught her to write in her check book in black ink when there was money in the account but change to red ink when she was overdrawn. Sounded like a good idea to me because when both Dad's called to let us know we were overdrawn we knew exactly how much we needed for them to deposit. Can't say that it didn't take me years to get over that little practice.

As much as it may sound that we went completely wild those first few weeks at Stephens College it was really not the case.  I have to really thank Stephens in how strict the rules were and how busy they kept us.
I had a Monday night class, sorority meetings on Tuesday night, mandatory Vespers on Wednesday night, an 8:00 am class on Saturday morning and curfew hours. Cat and I both were good students and there was plenty of hours spent hitting the books. Values learned at home were not completely thrown aside.

There are still a few more stories to tell about that year, the important lessons learned and the lifelong friends made. It is interesting to really go back and concentrate on remembering all that went on that year.  
Rather amazing how one school year can affect the rest of your life.