Not the Clever's

I have always thought how lucky I have been to have grown up in what is called the Baby Boomer generation.  Other age groups will argue that theirs was better but growing up with the music of the Beatles, Elvis and Chuck Berry gave us music to dance by and dance we did.  Boys learned how to fix up older cars if they could not afford the advent of 
Mustangs or Corvettes and drag racing was in it's infancy. The teen movies like Gidget, the Beach Party shows and others instilled the idea that boy meets girl, trouble happens and a breakup occurs but love prevails in the end.  

There was a great deal of innocence and an optimistic attitude that every thing was going to work out great regardless of what happened. 
I woke up every morning confident that it was going to be a wonderful day.  But life is not the movies and all families were not like Beaver Cleaver's.

After dinner the evening Barney went back to Columbia Mother said she wanted to talk to me.  We sat at the kitchen table in a fashion similar to a scene from Dragnet where the interrogation takes place.  This had happened before so I prepared myself for what was to come. I could have never actually prepared myself for that conversation.

Mother

She wanted to know, of course, what Barney's father did for a living and how a college student drives a new Corvette.  Sorry Mom, I didn't have an answer except that his father had passed away when he was an infant and there was a stepfather he didn't talk about very much. Why would I ask him where he got his money when I had been taught never to ask those questions?  What I did tell her was that he was a good student with a 4.0 average, had been an Eagle Scout (not mentioning that she had wanted Paul to be one) and that he wanted to go to Northwestern and get his MBA.  That should impress any parent, right?

Wrong.  Well, on second thought I guessed she was impressed since her next question was just what did he see in me?  Ever have that sudden feeling you couldn't breathe?  Thoughts raced through my head like, would she like to call him and ask him but I knew better than to go there. I probably mumbled something like I didn't know. Perhaps I shouldn't have been so surprised since as hard as I tried to get good grades and do the right thing nothing I did had ever really pleased her.  
She had never liked anyone I dated before thinking they were not good enough for me and now I am not good enough for Barney.

Somehow the interrogation finally ended with something about she didn't send me to Stephens to date or to have fun.  Then there was something about perhaps running around with rich girls made me think I was something I was not. I didn't cry myself to sleep that night, I just cried all night and thought of all the times I had disappointed her by being a cheerleader, doing plays she never came to and just breathing in general. On the other hand I always did all those things she wanted me to do like running for Miss Muskogee, being trophy girl at the stock car races, not going to slumber parties or doing the things all the other girls got to do.  It was like walking on a tightrope everyday.

The next morning she came in my room at 5:00 AM all cheerful as if there had been no discussion the night before.  It was obvious I had been crying all night since my eyes were almost swollen shut but I put on my happy face and had a cheerful cup of coffee with her, helped Kenny with his papers and acted as normal as possible when I wanted to scream.  I fell back into my normal pattern of behavior with her to try to keep the waters calm.  Somehow I knew my return to Stephens was hanging in the balance as well as my relationship with Barney.

Barney called before I left for work that morning and told me how much fun he had with me in Muskogee and how much he loved and missed me.  I did not tell him anything about the conversation with Mother.  
That was normal behavior for me as I never could admit to anyone that our house was not like the Clever's.  I did call Cathie as she had figured out a lot about my home situation during the time we lived together at Stephens. Talking to Barney and Cathie helped me get through the next couple of weeks.

There were lots of phone calls, cards and letters that summer from not only Barney, Pam and Cathie but from the other girls from Stephens.  Some were spending the summer at beaches somewhere or travelling in Europe.  It was fun to get so much mail and I made sure Mother saw the posts cards from exotic places around the world.  Of course there were times I wished I was someplace else but I was happy for all my friends doing exciting things. There was no discussion about Stephens even though there were letters for my parents from them.  

I spent a lot of time with my little nephew, Don.  He turned three that summer and there was a big family birthday party.  Paul had made him a stock car for him out of a pedal car.  I was always available to baby sit and Don loved to go for ice cream with Aunt Nana.  He got to cruise Muskogee in either my VW or Joan's VW convertible as a trip for ice cream was always a good excuse to run around town at night.

Don, Dad, Me and Little Girl

My neighbor, Tom, and I hung out a lot.  He was extremely funny and could brighten any day.  Tom, Kenny and I somehow managed to get tickets to go see Herman and the Hermits in Tulsa. I had to laugh as they sang "Mrs. Brown You've Got A Lovely Daughter" because when that song came out Barney changed all the words and sang it like he was singing to my Mother.  Wonder what she would have thought about that one?

I managed to keep the waters between Mother and I calm until I told her Barney was coming back the first week in August.  That was when she announced that she and Dad were not sure they could afford to send me back to Stephens.  Okay - for one thing, Dad did not agree to that but he would not disagree with Mother.  Secondly, with a scholarship and a grant tuition, room and board for both semesters was half paid for.  In my typical fashion I did not remind Mother that it was her idea in the first place to go to Stephens.  The sad part was that no one argued with Mother except Paul.  I guess Dad, Kenny and I watched some of the consequences of arguing between them and knew it was fruitless to try to get your point of view across.

Barney was to arrive the following Sunday and I had no idea how the visit would go.