DISASTERCATIONS

AAH....it is vacation time.  From childhood experiences of only two memorable vacations during which my parents were not speaking to each other the entire trip I preferred not to think about them much less go on one.

In the twelve years of marriage to the "then husband" the only real vacations were the trips Ford Motor Company sent us on. Even though we went to great places they were still disatercations.  Weekends to drag races were not exactly vacations as we usually left at 3:00 in the morning, went straight to the race track,  then the motel in the wee hours of the morning or drove home all night. 

Around our house vacations were the two week trips to Warner, Oklahoma to my "then in-laws" home.  Now I did like my in-laws, Alpha and Allen, and always had a good time with them.  But two weeks in a town of roughly 1,200 people with no pool, no theater or anything else besides a furniture store, a post office and a not very good hamburger stand can get a little tiresome.  The worse part is that my Dad and brothers lived twenty miles away and Mom about a hundred miles and I was lucky if we got to visit once or twice.  Of course I could never go to Muskogee by myself to see any of the high school friends.

Days were spent fishing, which I have a hard time with due to the poor fish gasping for breath or driving around seeing the sights of northeastern Oklahoma. Alas, Wally had about the same reaction to fishing as I did.  At four years of age it dawned on him that the pretty fish now swimming in the kitchen sink ready to be slaughtered were going to be dinner.  He went to the living room and refused to come into the kitchen until after dinner.  There were lots of card games and the construction of a jigsaw puzzle or two.  The boys ran wild all day as there was nothing they could get into or anyplace they could get lost.
Perhaps the one good thing was that I didn't have to cook much since I am terrible at frying food or making poke salad or knew how to make
biscuits and gravy or pinto beans.  My mother taught me "yankee cooking" so I was pretty useless in Alpha's kitchen except to do dishes.

Both Alpha and Allen had huge extended families that dropped by everyday. Things were always more fun if Dennis' sister and her husband Jim arrived during our visit.  Jim was a lot of fun and when he was there it seemed like there was a great deal more laughter.  I had gotten good at making the best of anything and the trips to Warner were good practice.

Before we left for Warner Barney had arrived home.  He had been gone for almost three weeks and I realized how much I missed seeing him. I guess that I had thought it would be a nice break from how complicated the whole situation was. Actually it was quite the opposite and it was noticeable that the longer he was gone the more often he called.  Plus the usual conversations about what he had seen in Philadelphia or Chicago or how the seminars and book signings were going changed to more how he felt about things.

I was a little terrified that I had opened up a can of worms I wouldn't be able to close when I brought up the subject of being able to tell by his eyes there was a lot of things he was not saying.  It actually had made it easier for him to talk to me about his feelings than he had been before.  Maybe it was easier for him on the phone as our conversations became longer and much more frequent. It was an interesting change for the better.

The day I went over to install the rest of the blinds and drapes he answered the door in a huge pair of sunglasses....the ones that are about a foot wide. It was obvious that they were to keep me from watching his eyes and we both doubled over in laughter.  I realized that Mr Always Perfect Eagle Scout was learning how to play.  Playing as an adult is an important part of life and very good at chasing your troubles away.

Moving to Kansas City with all my crazy neighbors and a great influence from my college room mate, Cathie, I spent a great deal of time playing. I had to act like the perfect corporate wife but I discovered how much fun it was to go to the grocery store in the middle of the summer with my neighbor dressed as a clown and me as Raggedy Ann or pop out of the neighbors bushes when her husband came home dressed as a huge rabbit. In really bad times you just have to think back about the reaction on someone's face when a giant rabbit pops up out of the bushes and most of the seriousness of life slips away.

When Barney had actually thought of buying the sunglasses and surprising me with then I realized that he perhaps was beginning to let loose and have the fun he had never had growing up. As much as I loved him and as awesome as he was I always had the feeling there was something missing. The sunglasses and our conversation about his family life growing up made me realize he never learned to play or to just be silly.  

I really didn't know how I was going to survive two weeks in Warner, Oklahoma without seeing or talking to him.  Much to my surprise I actually did very well.  In the bad moments, the anger over not getting to spend more time with my family or high school friends I would think of Barney in those glasses. Also contemplated on more silly things to do to him and see what he comes up with.  

Little did he know that his course in Silliness 101 was about to begin.
Staying at the house with non-fisherman Wally on the last fishing expedition of the endless two week vacation gave me a chance to teach Barney the first class in Silliness 101.