The Good and the Bad Start of Summer

Sunday proved to be everything I thought it would be with the starting of the construction in the basement. The picture above is a pretty good representation of the method we used to get the 82 pound sheets of drywall up in place. I was, of course, the one standing on the ladder holding one end.  It was an excellent way to build up biceps but a little difficult to keep the drywall from slipping an eighth of an inch before Dennis found the correct location for all the nails. It was a day of many expletives the children should not have heard from Dennis while I concentrated on happy thoughts, black stars and the thought that I would live through this.  By the end of the day a quick calculation showed there would only need to be three more days of ceiling drywall - if I lived that long.

After writing quite a few things about Dennis that were less than flattering maybe I should explain a few points.  I must say here that Dennis came home from work every night when he was not travelling, did not drink much, gamble, run around with other women or was physically abusive.  Those were all good but he was also terribly insecure, didn't really like very many people or want to be around them, had no patience with the children or me, had an explosive temper and nothing really made him happy.

Who knows what I imagined at nineteen when we got married.  Maybe he would have been happy if I had been different, wanted to stay home and bake bread, but that wasn't me.  In truth we were totally different personalities that did not mix very well together.  You certainly cannot change a person unless they want to change so through the years I learned how to keep the water fairly calm part of the time.  But I was very good at causing tidal waves by wanting to learn new things, meet new people and have lots of friends.  

The move to Kansas City magnified all the problems.  Dennis only wanted to move back to Dallas while the boys and I were very happy with the move.  It actually seemed like the happier we were the more unhappy Dennis became. It was quite a balancing act on my part and one I got pretty good at.  Somehow I learned to be the perfect wife when Dennis was home with chores done, dinner cooked and pleasant.  The moment he walked out the door in the morning I became the person I wanted to be. I also began the fine art of treating everything hurtful with a sense of humor.

Monday was the first official day of summer for Wes since school was out. I can remember how fantastic that felt when I was little so I had put Barney's house off for a week so I had time to take the boys swimming and off on excursions with all the neighbors and their children. I kept Wally in the Mothers-Day Out program on Thursdays so he did not loose his spot.  Lucky for me Dennis's Mom decided to come for a visit the second week so I had someone to take care of the boys and haul them around while I worked on paint and wallpaper at Barney's house. I always enjoyed her coming as we had fun together plus Dennis tended to be on his best behavior when she was there.

Barney called on Tuesday morning and said to not order the stuff for the sliding glass doors.  He had a guy come out the day before and was going to have them replaced with French doors since I hated them so much. That was a big hooray and great timing as I was working that week on ordering all the items for the house.  He did get all serious and asked if we could meet for lunch of Thursday since he needed to talk to me.  Yes to lunch and it was funny that in the past when he got all serious about wanting to talk to me I would get worried but not this time.  He had a place he wanted me to see that was pretty famous in Kansas City.

Dennis finally noticed all my stacks of drawings and order sheets for Barney's house on Wednesday night.  He never asked me how the appointment turned out on Saturday and with the construction ordeal I did not feel like mentioning it. He got a black star for that one.  Anyway I told him about what I was hired to do, showed him all the drawings and his only comment was did I really think I could do all that.  I must have mumbled something but at the same time I was thinking that maybe he thought some elf had come in and did most of the same stuff to our house. Duh! The last thing he asked was how was I going to pay for all the stuff I needed to order.  He seemed disappointed when I told him I had a deposit.

Barney had told me to meet him at a place called Kelly"s Bar - now Kelly's Westport Inn.  Since I didn't know anything about it I asked Karen if she had heard of it.  Turned out it was quite the place.  Kelly's was thought to be the oldest building in Kansas City and a pretty famous hangout.  On Thursday Wes went off to the zoo with the neighbors, Wally off to the Catholic church and I headed to Westport to see what Barney and I needed to talk about.

Interior Design 101

There is a song from a Broadway play that describes minutes that seem like hours before a pair of star-crossed lovers are to meet. Then there are those times when hours seem like seconds.

That pretty well describes how quickly the time flew by in between when I told Barney I would bring all the design stuff for his house over to show he and Lauren and the actual time for my arrival. Perhaps it was a good thing the hours passed like minutes as it was impossible to eat or sleep.  I was up in the wee hours of the morning going over every detail of the designs and deciding nothing looked right.  There was a lot of questioning of myself on why I couldn't just be happy baking bread, cupcakes for school parties and playing Candyland with the boys?

The good thing about the time going so quickly was that Dennis was not happy with my making plans for a Saturday.  He was going to have to take care of Wes and Wally which he was not good at and seldom ever did.  It seemed like if we did not start on redoing the basement that very day we could not do it at all.  By the time it was time to load the car and go to the appointment time could not fly by fast enough.  All I needed to do was to try to remember how to find the house.

I think I was actually shaking as I rang the doorbell but when Barney opened the door with that smile of his I regained some of my senses.
Meeting Lauren went fine.  She was perhaps ten years younger than I, very skinny with long blonde hair and sort of cute but there appeared to be an air of indifference about the whole decorating thing.  I think I began to feel much better when she did not look like Rachel Welch.

Barney helped me carry in all the stacks of wallpaper books, paint colors and fabric samples from the car to the dining room table.  We went room by room with what I had picked out.  Actually I did have a  couple of choices for each each room in hopes that something would be right.  It was pretty surprising when they agreed to the same things I had picked as my first choice.  Maybe I was better at this than I thought.  The big hit were the tri-fold screens for each side of the sliding glass doors instead of drapes that are always in the way. No need to tell them that I had no idea at the time how I would make them.

It was decided I would start in a week which would give me time to get things ordered.  Barney carried the stuff back out to the car for me and told me I was amazing. Then he told me I forgot something.  He informed me that REAL decorators would have asked for a deposit at which point he pulled out a check for $500.00 and said any time I needed more money just let him know. So I guess I now have a real job.

Driving home I must admit the appointment went much better than I expected.  Of course it was nice that I was able to put together the designs that they liked but I was really surprised at how well I handled meeting Lauren.  What panic I felt before the meeting was more about how I would react to Lauren than worry about the design concepts.  There were a couple of reasons why meeting her after all the time Barney and I spent together that made it go smoothly.  One was that we did not spend our time together talking about Lauren or Dennis.  What kind of a relationship would we have had if we spent all our time bashing the people we were married to?  More importantly even though we both joked a lot about going off to a hotel for an afternoon we didn't.  

My happy mood did not stay too happy after my arrival home.  Dennis had not seen Wes for a couple of hours and had no idea of where the almost nine year old had gone to on his bike.  My philosophy was he would come home when he was tired, it got dark or he was injured in some way.  Actually it was very easy to look down the street and see his bike, the only one in the neighborhood with a wing and a parachute, laying in the front yard of a house two doors down the street.

That solved he moved on to the basement.  I was about to start my lesson in Drywall 101.  Dennis had to help his Dad build things growing up in Warner, Oklahoma.  Some of the things they built were called apartments and a motel. Notice I am using the term apartments and motel rather loosely.  Anyway, he had passed Drywall 101 many years before.  My Dad built a fence once out of 2x4's and some sort of wire and a flagstone patio so I did not know much about building things.  The only thing I really knew was the time Dennis and I built Wes a really cool L-shaped bunk bed.  I think that was when I got the new name, God Dammit, Donna since I never could be in the right place at the right time to hold something in the right manner.

Anyone get the idea that we might not really work too well together?  Laying in the basement was a huge stack of 5/8 drywall each sheet weighing 82 pounds that I was supposed to hold up to the ceiling while he put in the screws.  Oh, this

is really going to be interesting.

Lots of New Things On the Learning Curve

One might wonder how someone can continually tell others "Sure, I can do that!" With no real clue as to how to do it.  Lifelong problem of mine which some would consider a severe personality defect.  Life may have been a lot simpler if I did not spend days living in terror trying to figure out how I was going to do something I had no clue what so ever about.

Driving home from the latest picnic in the park with Barney the fact that I had somewhere in the neighborhood of two weeks to come up with all the window coverings, wallpaper and paint for the downstairs of his house became frightening.  Add to that the fact that even though Lauren did not care what the house looked liked, she needed to be present to see everything and to meet the decorator. Going into a state of panic was not going to be helpful.

Barney"s House 

The best plan I could come up with was to go buy lots of graph paper and draw out all the window coverings I needed to make.  Thank heavens I had taken good measurements and I had notes as to what Barney wanted in the way of color and pattern in fabrics.  Wallpaper for the kitchen and the powder room were a little easier as I had done a lot of that for myself. Once everything was all drawn out Wally and I spent a lot of days looking a professionally made draperies to see what size hems were used and learned how to make pleated draperies without using the homemade pleater tape I had used before.

The company that Barney had me go to to buy stuff for my house was outstanding.  They carried thousands of fabrics and custom made mini blinds, vertical louvers, roman shades and woven woods.  I discovered that if I showed them my drawings they taught me how to figure the amount of fabric that I would need and how to price everything.  Having Wally travelling with me was a big help and every place we went people fell in love with the little guy and were willing to help his not-much-in-the-know-Mother. The result was a fast lesson in everything I needed to know about being an Interior Designer.

I am not sure how this happened, did I miss a meeting, did someone volunteer me?  I had been a member of the New Neighbors League for six months and I got a call that I had been appointed to be the editor of the monthly newsletter.  The newsletter, called the Pacesetter, was a once a month publication with everything anyone needed to know about the club.  It told about the monthly luncheon, the activities, the sponsors, what there was to do in Kansas City and a whole lot of other information. It ended up being about fifteen 8 x 11 sheets of paper printed on both sides that was sent out to 450 people every month. Who said I could do this?  I only had a vintage typewriter with a missing O. Oh well, add a typewriter onto the shopping list.

Dennis finally decided to speak again after five days.  He just came home from work on Friday all cheerful just liked nothing had happened.
That was fine, no need to start an argument on why all the silence. He did announce that he thought it was time for us to finish the basement as he was tired of the toys all over the family room. Actually I was all for getting it done as I was going to need the space to sew in.  The basement was actually a walk-out as it was on the downside of the hill.  It had sliding glass doors, a fireplace and plumbing for another bathroom.  We had framed in a twelve by twelve room when we first moved in for storage and if needed later, a fifth bedroom.

Dennis was curious about all the architectural drawings I was working on.  I told him a couple had asked me to decorate their house.  He said he didn't know how I was going to do that which I took as perhaps I was too stupid to do someone else's house.  He had no problem in me making a little extra money as long as dinner was on the table at the right time, the lawn was mowed by Friday afternoon, the laundry and ironing done, cars washed and house clean and then of course, no Mother showing up anytime soon.

My two weeks went by pretty quickly.  That happens when you have to do a crash course in Interior Design (is there really a college degree in that?), attempt to learn to type out the first newsletter on your new typewriter and get it to the printers, listen to Dennis carry on about what needs to be done in the basement because there is no way you can hire it done and Wes, our nine year old, is out of school for the summer.  That was going to make for an interesting summer all by itself.

There does not seem to be many pictures of Wes during the first part of our move to Kansas City. The reason is probably because Wes was like living with a little whirlwind, always on the move, always some calamity and definitely never a dull moment during his waking hours. Our neighborhood actually had about a hundred families most with school age children. If he wasn't racing up and down the streets on his bike with a wing and a parachute on it everyone he knew was in our house playing with race cars or just running in and out the door.He was actually a pretty good little guy but just always busy.

Barney had called a couple of times from from different places in California.  It sounded like his seminars were successful as I had begun to learn how to tell from his sometime careful wording how things were going. He called on Friday morning and asked if Saturday at 1:00 was okay for me to ome by the house.  In my most positive, cheerful voice I said sure.  There was a laugh from Barney and he said not to panic, we would get through this. Gee, I only had about thirty-six hours to slightly panic.

A Pretty Good Week

                                 Swope Park Zoo   May 1955

It was a beautiful Sunday afternoon after Mother left so my three favorite neighbors, Karen, Ozella and Carolyn and I loaded up seven boys and went off to the Swope Park Zoo for the afternoon. All the husbands were busy doing something, Dennis was in his "not talking to you mode" so a trip to the the zoo was great.

Moving to Kansas City was in part a happy event to me because I actually had some history with the town long before we moved there. My Dad had grown up in Kansas, went to the University and worked in Kansas City long before he married Mother.  My Uncle Kenny, Dad's brother, lived there and lost everything in the tornado in Hickman Mills in the mid-fifties. But the best memory of Kansas City as a child was the Whittier Elementary School train trip there when I was in the second grade. 

Wonder how many of my classmates remember boarding the train in Muskogee at 3:00 in the morning, riding to Kansas City, touring the GM auto plant, Russell Stover Candy Company and going to the Swope Park Zoo? It was back on the train sometime in the late afternoon for the ride back to Muskogee - all in less than twenty-four hours.  Pretty amazing thing for a school to do back in the early 1950's. And for a kid who grew up in a town with no zoo that trip made visiting zoos across the country first on every list of things to do.

                                                 Brother Kenny and Linda Leininger

When Monday morning rolled around it was the beginning of a very busy week.  I think it really bothered me at the time that Dennis was in one of his not-speaking-to-me phases but it actually was rather nice as I did not have to give a run through of what I was doing for the day. Just before Wally and I ventured off to look at decorating things for Barney's house Barney called to see how the weekend went.  I filled him in on the fact that I was still alive after jogging every morning, had new clothes I would never wear and everyone was glad when we sent her on the road back to Oklahoma. He told me no hurry on the house and would I meet him for lunch on Thursday.  Yes to lunch and he wished me well for the meetings at the medical schools on Tuesday. Rather amazing that Barney always knew the right time to call and the right things to say.

Wally was a pretty amazing little boy at four and a half years old.  Maybe it was all the years he travelled to college with me everyday but we made very good running buddies.  He seemed to like going to look at fabric and wallpaper with me.  Everyone was surprised at how good he always was and just happy he was in  picking out wallpaper and fabric for people with animals or cars and trucks. Sometimes you just get lucky as his brother was the total opposite.


Tuesday started out as a day of panic.  It had sounded so simple to call and make appointments with the Kansas School of Osteopathic Medicine
and the University of Kansas to see what to do to make my application more acceptable.  Getting in the car and going was a whole different thing. I took Wally to Mother's Day out and made arrangements with Karen to pick him up at 3:00 if I was running late.  First stop was the School of Osteopathic Medicine in Kansas City.  Ever have one of those moments when you get to where you are supposed to be but are afraid to get out of the car?  That was me but I had too many people who knew I was going to do this that I really could not follow through so somehow I managed to get out of the car and meet with the Head of Admissions.

To my surprise the meeting went very well.  He had a lot of questions mainly pertaining to the fact that I had only moved to Kansas City a month before I applied and there was a long list of colleges I had attended.  He thought that the test scores, while not great, were acceptable and the real question was I going to stay in Kansas if granted a spot in an upcoming class.  I assured him that I wasn't going anywhere and he said to reapply in the fall.  So I left with a new admissions packet and a sense of relief that it went so well.

On to Lawrence, Kansas and the University.  It was a little easier to get out of the car this time as some of the sheer terror had disappeared.  It was interesting in that the Admissions Counselor was a woman at KU. She went through pretty much the same questions about the short time I had lived in Kansas and how long did I plan on staying in the state.  She did go into great detail on the fact that they needed to admit more women into medical school and had lots of questions about my children and how committed I really was.  She did have a few suggestions on polishing up my application and sent me home with a new admissions packet for the following year.

What a day.  I had spent the last couple of months feeling totally stupid and believing no school would ever want me.  Guess the lesson learned here was to get up the courage to go and ask questions instead of just giving up. I still wasn't fooling myself in believing that it was going to be easy to get into a school but at least I did not feel quite so stupid and there was hope.

I arrived home at the same time Karen showed up with Wally.  Karen's son, Kedric and Wes had a soccer game that afternoon so I had a chance to fill her in on the meetings I had that day. She was always such a great positive person and such a great friend to have. School was going to be out in a few weeks for the summer and we started making plans on things to do with the boys.  With the activities the New Neighbors League had for the kids, the neighborhood pool, soccer and some summer camps it looked like it was going to be a fun filled summer.  

I met Barney on Thursday and he had decided we needed to go on another picnic so off we went to a beautiful park.  I filled him on Mother's visit and the meetings at the medical schools.  He laughed when I told him how nice the people were and asked if I had really thought they would be awful.  Yes, I think I lacked enough confidence that they would just laugh and tell me to get lost.  He said no, it didn't take anyone very long to realize what a incredibly bright and intelligent person I was. Please, I don't need any compliments.  He said, Yes you do and we need to talk.

He asked me how I felt about us since we had been meeting for ten months and what I thought the future looked liked. Can't say I expected that question and it was not an easy one to answer. So I started at the beginning and told him I had been in love with him since our first date in college. I think any minor problems we had then we solved by thinking about the other person rather than ourselves. Sure, maybe I should have run off with you the summer after Stephens but that was a different time and not something I could do.  Who knows what would have happened to us back then.  Maybe it was a huge mistake for me to call you when I moved to Kansas City but as complicated as it is now I can not imagine not having you in my life.  No one can predict the future but I know that you brighten my days and make me a better person.

When I finished he just sat there and looked at me for quite awhile. Finally he kissed me and said he couldn't have said it better himself and he didn't want us to ever be apart again.  Before we headed off for home he said he was going to be out of town for a week or so doing some seminars but was I willing to meet Lauren when he got back and show her the stuff for the house. My answer to meeting Lauren was of course.  It was not going to be that easy but that would be the right thing to do.

A Visit With Mother

If there was anything I Should Have Known in my lifetime journey it was why my relationship with my mother was so difficult. Writing now it is hard to reflect on our relationship back then without slipping in all the things I did learn later.  But that whole story would take another book.  So I will try to stay in that time frame.

We had lived in Kansas City for seven months before Mother finally decided to come for a visit. There always seemed to be some reason for her not to come, she was busy, there was a lot of snow, Ninette was here and so on and so on. I was looking forward to her arrival and dreading it at the same time.  But the house looked perfect, the boys were presentable, lots of food in the cupboard, Kansas City had lots of places for us to see and all the neighbors were anxious to meet her. Before her expected arrival sometime in the early afternoon Wally and I drove the three mile course I had mapped out for the daily run making sure it had the least hills possible which wasn't easy, then baked cookies and an apple pie.  Thank heavens Karen invited us for lunch across the street.  It killed time and Wally could play with Karen's son.

She finally arrived late in the afternoon a little confused.  One has know that my Mother was directionally challenged.  When she married George and moved to Oklahoma City the only way she could find her way home was to be able to see the tall, round Founder's Tower so I was not surprised.  I had sent her a map, a picture of the house, written out where to exit the freeway and what she would pass if she missed any turn.  That must have not been helpful as she had to stop three different times for directions. The last stop was not very far away and a gentleman offered to lead her to the house. At fifty-six years of age, five foot nine and very trim she was very good at getting men to help a damsel in distress.

I took her on a tour of the house which she really liked.  Access to her room was from a catwalk that went across the back of the two story living room which she thought was really neat.  Wes arrived home from school and disappeared on his bike, Karen came over to meet Mom and Dennis arrived home on his best behavior.  We discussed what to do the next day and of course there was the jog at 6:00 am, Wes off to school, Wally to the church at 9:00 and the day was ours to go to the Country Club Plaza to shop and have lunch. I fell into bed thinking all had gone pretty well for day one.

Guess I should say here that to me race horses run, sports people run in games they get paid to run in and regular people only run if they hear a child cry or the house is on fire. At 6:00 am with new running shoes on I felt like I was breaking some rule of nature.  Mother arrived in the kitchen dressed in a very fashionable running outfit, I was in shorts and a yucky sweatshirt, all cheerful and ready to do warm-up exercises. Dennis was not happy he needed to take care of the boys and breakfast.
Upon hitting the street I realized that our entire subdivision was all a series of mountains that only appeared to be little inclines. Even though I actually thought I was going to die at any second when Mother asked me how I was doing I would flash a big smile and say "great"! It was with great relief and a little bit of pride when I ran up our drive way and realized I was still alive.

We drove to the Country Club Plaza on my favorite route through the old, stately neighborhoods of Kansas City while I pointed out all the sights I knew.  Kansas City actually has more fountains that Rome and we made it past most of them.  She loved the Plaza as that was where all the expensive stores were and the great restaurants.  Mother had this passion for shopping and I was usually the target.  I use the term target as she only bought clothes for me that she liked which were 180 degrees from what I liked.  That day I came home with one of those running outfits and an Albert Nipon dress ($300.00) that was red with white polka dots.  Yes, it did look cute on me but I thought I needed a big red nose and huge shoes as I felt like a clown.  Oh well, maybe I could make it into a Halloween costume.  Lunch was at a little Italian place which was awesome.  The evening went well as Mother and I sat out on the deck and carefully avoided Dennis.  So far, so good.

I did better the next day on the run and maybe it was the new running outfit that made me feel like I knew what I was doing.  Mother breezed through the cupboards and planned dinner for the evening and got most of it ready before we ventured off for the day. Since it was a beautiful day and we had Wally I decided we should go to 12th Street and Vine for the Friday brown bag and blues lunch on the street.  We went by a Deli and got sandwiches and drinks, found a place on the steps of a building, had lunch and listened to some great music.  Also on Fridays there was a tour of Hallmark Cards in the Crown Center. I had done the tour with the New Neighbors and it was really fun.  For a dollar Wally could play in the playroom and Mother really enjoyed the tour showing the artists actually creating the cards to the printing and the shipping.  
Crown Center also had lots of nice shops so Mother came home with several items of new clothes for her.

When we got home on Friday from touring around Karen came over and asked how long Mother was staying.  Interesting that I hadn't asked but she said she needed to go home on Sunday.  Karen announced that she and two of the other neighbors were planning a cookout at Gary Krings house if Mother was going to be there Saturday evening. Mother thought that would be fun and said we would come.  Needless to say, Dennis was not happy but he agreed to go just because Gary was the only neighbor he liked.  Pretty cool when the neighbors throw a party for your Mother. That evening we sat on the deck again and she grilled me on what I was going to do about medical school. I explained that I was going to see the admissions people at each school the next week and would apply again. We talked about the health clinic but I did not tell her about wallpapering for Gary Krings or the possibility that I had an interior design job.  Day two down - one to go.

I felt pretty good on the jog on Saturday and did not have to fake the smile.  Wes had a soccer game at 10:00 so that took up the morning.  Dennis was dying to go to a restaurant called Stroud's so we all went there for lunch.  Stroud's was underneath an abandoned railroad trestle in an older part of Kansas City. Usually you had to wait in a line outside but you could get a beer or a glass of wine to enjoy while you waited in line....sometimes for an hour. The decor was leftover from the thirties with tables propped up with plates or ashtrays to make them sit even on the sagging wooden floor. There were mismatched wooden chairs with very faded red and white checked tablecloths.  In the middle of the floor was a full size grand piano that a lady who had to be at least 100 sat at in a faded long black dress and played and sang songs for your entertainment.  The only thing on the menu was fried chicken, chicken gizzards or chicken livers, mashed potatoes and green beans. It was like being taken back on a time machine to some other era but that was the best fried chicken I ever ate. Stroud's was always a unique experience and one of my favorites.

Mother had whipped up a pot of baked beans that she put in the oven before we left for lunch so we took those and a cheese ball I made to the cookout. The small gathering had grown to about fifty people including all the little ones. Everyone had brought food to share and it was all wonderful almost to the point of looking like a contest as to who could cook the best.  My neighbors were all friendly which comes from the fact that we all had moved from someplace else.  Without family all of us transient people sort of hung together.  Mother was very good at meeting new people and by the end of the evening she had many invitations for the next time she was here to go do this or go see that.  
I did take notice that after we ate that Dennis had vanished.  Except for his disappearing act Day Three went very well.

The jog went really well on Sunday and I thought for a moment I could do this everyday......not.  Dennis was barely speaking at breakfast and headed for the garage before Mother left.  I decided to let her follow me to the highway so she didn't get lost again. Needless to say a great sense of relief swept over me as her car disappeared down the road.  I spent four days saying "yes, Mother", "I will Mother" and agreeing with her about things I really did not agree with to keep her happy. I had grown up spending every day trying to please her and that pattern of behavior was not something I knew how to change.  Obviously I carried on with the same behavior with Dennis.

Guess I must have done something wrong while she was there since Dennis didn't speak to me for four days. Actually that was okay as I had a pretty busy week ahead with the two appointments at the medical schools, the health clinic job and decisions on Barney's house.  It also felt very nice to be grown up again instead of Mother's twelve year old daughter.

Just An Ordinary Day

At some point in time I discovered that making lists of everything that needed to be done in a certain time frame worked well for me.  No list meant that it was time to goof off and nothing gets done. Between the time I got home from the wonderful picnic and dinner I went room by room in the house to create the immaculizing plan for the Mother visit. It included fixing up the room Ninette had stayed in as a room for Mother and an thorough cleaning. The list was pretty extensive and forced a second list called Shopping for all those things like new towels I had put off getting. To the shopping list I had to add the new running shoes and maybe new shoes for Wes and Wally plus their haircuts so Mother did not complain about that.

Making a grocery list was out of the question as I was never good at deciding what I wanted to eat four days in advance. Plus I did not know what current diet, carbs, no carbs, meat, no meat that Mother was currently following.  Easy way was is just go buy one of everything in the store. Last list was what else I needed to do like call the medical schools for an appointment, go to work at the Health Clinic on Monday night, do a crash course in how to be an interior designer by 10:30 on Tuesday and then arrange it on a calendar to make sure I got the timing right on getting everything done. Just two legal pages of things to do in the next four days.  But it sure is fun to mark everything off the lists when they are done.

By Monday morning the boys looked great in their new shoes and haircuts, every piece of furniture had been moved so the woodwork was all shiny and the carpet vacuumed, my new running shoes were in the closet awaiting their debut and the car was washed.  After Wes went to school on Monday Wally, who at four and a half made a good shopping buddy, and I ventured off to get the new towels and bedding for the guest room and the expensive trip to the grocery store. The amount of groceries I purchased was greater than the cupboard space so some had to be stored in the basement. I did make the calls to the two medical school and set appointments for the following week.  By the time I had to go off to my volunteer job at the Health Clinic the only thing remaining on the list of things to do was a crash course in interior design.  Oh well, one can't be perfect and I crossed it off the list since there really wasn't such a thing.

Being an interior designer was never in my mind of things I aspired to be.  Somehow I had developed a disdain for them as they always seemed to be dressed to the hilt with lots of gold jewelry and driving an expensive car. The jewelry and the car were from the astronomical prices they charged. I had a nice new Mercury station wagon just because Dennis worked for Ford but forget the rest. Needless to say it was with great apprehension that I drove off to Barney's house armed with a tape measure and note pad and not an idea in my head as to what I was doing.


The house was in a very nice looking neighborhood, maybe ten to fifteen years old.  Thank heavens that the moment he answered the door all the fear of doing this faded away especially when I found out that Lauren was in school and would not be home.  It was a nice house, two story and I knew enough decorator words to say it had good bones and a nice flow.  He had gotten a real deal on it and as we toured the house I could understand why as it needed a lot of help.    Not only had it been decorated in some other out -of -date design phase but most of the drapes looked like they were from the clearance table at a Sears outlet store.

Barney wanted to just do the downstairs first so we went room by room.  I measured windows while he, to my amazement, told me pretty much what he wanted. Of course some of the rooms needed to be painted as neither of us could imagine having dinner in an orange dining room. Wallpaper with mean looking roosters on it in the kitchen did not do much for wanting to stay in there long enough to cook anything. The powder room had a foil wallpaper with huge flowers on it much too large for the size of the room.  I did ask him if the previous owners had paid him to take it off their hands.

There was still one room to check out but Barney decided it was - surprise - time for lunch. Didn't know you usually fed your decorator lunch but was informed that I was no regular decorator. So we had a very impressive shrimp and pasta salad that Barney had made while the wallpaper roosters looked on.  During lunch he wanted to know if my prices were reasonable before he committed to all the stuff.  I had to confess that since I was new at this I really didn't have any idea. My best thought when we figured out all the fabric and blinds I would just go to the most expensive interior design place in town and have them give me a price for them to do it.  It would be very simple to then add 25% on to it for me to do the work.  Somehow I managed to keep at straight face when I told him that but the look on his face ruined it as I just started laughing.  He then stated I would get no more free lunches while he tried not to laugh.

On to the last room downstairs which was his office.  He had already repainted it in a soft shade of gray.  When you walked in the door there was a beautiful desk straight ahead in front of a large window and a pair of leather chairs.  All the room really needed was a gray mini blind for the window.  He told me to go sit at the desk and see if I thought the room felt good.  When I sat down and looked up there were two framed drawings on either side of the door.  It was one of those moments that you know your heart has stopped beating and there is no way you can even breathe.

Although I knew what they were I got up from the desk and walked over to look at them. There were the two Today Show set drawings I had done at Stephens and signed by Hugh Downs when he visited the campus. Barney was smiling and said that this was the first time he had ever rendered me speechless.  He walked up behind me as I still stood there in disbelief and put his arms around me.  His story was that when I called him after I had left Stephens and asked him if he could go get them for me, he did.  When he came to Muskogee both times that summer to see me he just couldn't quite put them in the car to bring to me.  They were the only items he had besides a couple of pictures to remind him of our time together.  So he had them framed and had hung them every place he had lived for the last twelve years.

I turned around to say something with no idea of what to say when he kissed me and said not to say anything but to remember that he had said years ago he would always love me.  Then he added that if I did not dash out the door in the next two minutes little Wally would be crying on the sidewalk in front of the Catholic church with a nun who was ready to give me a lecture.

Well....that was certainly a day to say the least.  I made it to get Wally on time but it was one of those trips through town when you can't remember how you got from point A to point B.  You could probably call that "blind sighted" driving as I certainly was. I got better as soon as I picked up Wally and asked about his day coloring and playing.  It was a good thing he was too little to ask about mine. That would have gone something like "Oh, it was a nice day, Wally.  I met with the love of my life and I am going to decorate his house although I don't know what I am doing. He fixed me a nice lunch and told me he had always loved me. You know - just an ordinary day."

Somehow in the following twenty hours I was going to have to come back down to earth before Mother arrives.  Although I am hoping for a nice visit, a short one, one never knows what to expect from her.

The Picnic

Kansas City was as beautiful in the spring as it was in the fall when all of the leaves turned gorgeous colors and winter with all the snow. One interesting fact about Kansas City that a lot of people do not realize is that there are actually two cities in two states separated by a street named Sate Line Road.  Living on one side of the road makes you a resident of Kansas, the other side puts you in Missouri.

I can remember how pleased I was when Dennis got transferred to Kansas City as there was never a happier person than I to be leaving Dallas, Texas.  It is difficult to explain why with all of the normal horrors of moving, the month living in a motel, the seemingly endless string of disappointments and conflicts why I was always so happy to be there.  Maybe it was gaining a little maturity, the great neighborhood and the friends I made or the surprise opportunities that seemed to come my way.  Maybe Barney was also a reason.

I arrived at the fountain at the Country Club Plaza before he did.  It had been almost a month since our last lunch date and although we had talked on the phone while he was travelling I did miss seeing him.  I heard the familiar "Hey" behind me and he had pulled up alongside the curb in his car and told me to hop in that we were going on a picnic. As we drove to a park I asked him how the seminars and the book were doing. Everything went well but he thought it was too much all at one time.  He was tired and really glad to be home.

When we arrived at the park Barney opened the trunk and to my surprise there was a real picnic basket, a checked table cloth and a blanket.  I didn't know there was a Deli in town that specialized in doing picnic lunches.  What a great idea!  All you had to do was to order them, pick everything up and return it when you were done. Over lunch we laughed and joked about silly things while I was wondering about his comment on the phone pertaining to serious sounding stuff we needed to discuss. The picnic thing was no doubt an opportunity to really talk as we had done in college.

He finally got around to asking me why I had not said anything about my medical school applications and that he knew it was past the time for me to have heard something. Actually I had avoided the subject with everyone as I felt really stupid for even thinking I could be accepted.  I made all sorts of excuses to myself about the application showing I had gone to four colleges, had three different majors, married, two small children and a lot older than other applicants. When he asked me it was like the dam burst and I poured out all the feeling of rejection, all the excuses I made to myself, even Dennis's reaction and a lot of tears.

He took me in his arms and said how sorry he was but that he didn't know me to give up on anything except him twelve years ago.  Also that I should have told him first about the letters before I told anyone else since most people don't get into medical or law school on their first try.
Did the letters say anything about making an appointment with the admissions office to see why you were not accepted?  I said I didn't remember as I could not get past the first paragraph. That got a laugh and the suggestion that I look at them again and call to make an appointment and see what their reasoning was.  Then I needed to give him the application so he could see if we could make it sound better.

While I was basking in the thought that somebody cared and was willing to help me in what I wanted to do Barney came out with the question of "How about lunch at my house next Thursday?".  That was a surprise and my quick answer was that Mother was arriving for a visit, hopefully a short one, on Wednesday. So would Tuesday be okay?  There were a lot of reasons I should have said no, like what about his wife, Lauren, but I said okay.  Perhaps I had a "deer in the headlights" look as he started laughing and said he needed some interior design advice on his house.  Lauren was deep into law books and really had no desire to do anything to the house. We decided 10:30 on Tuesday would be good after I dropped Wally at the church for the day.

Needless to say the next four days were busy ones.  The boys needed haircuts and I needed running shoes before Mother showed up.  Then there was the matter of immaculizing (new word) the house before she arrived and checked all the woodwork for dust. Maybe this trip she would not spend her first day there cleaning the house, making sure all the laundry was done or planning all the meals for however many days she was staying all the while making me feel like a terrible person.  Oh, that meant a trip to the grocery store for healthy food. 

The letters from both medical schools did make reference to calling for an appointment. As much as I dreaded doing it I knew I had to by Tuesday. The thought of Tuesday itself was a little scary in that it is one
thing to decorate your own house but a whole different thing to know what other people like or want.