A Pretty Good Week

                                 Swope Park Zoo   May 1955

It was a beautiful Sunday afternoon after Mother left so my three favorite neighbors, Karen, Ozella and Carolyn and I loaded up seven boys and went off to the Swope Park Zoo for the afternoon. All the husbands were busy doing something, Dennis was in his "not talking to you mode" so a trip to the the zoo was great.

Moving to Kansas City was in part a happy event to me because I actually had some history with the town long before we moved there. My Dad had grown up in Kansas, went to the University and worked in Kansas City long before he married Mother.  My Uncle Kenny, Dad's brother, lived there and lost everything in the tornado in Hickman Mills in the mid-fifties. But the best memory of Kansas City as a child was the Whittier Elementary School train trip there when I was in the second grade. 

Wonder how many of my classmates remember boarding the train in Muskogee at 3:00 in the morning, riding to Kansas City, touring the GM auto plant, Russell Stover Candy Company and going to the Swope Park Zoo? It was back on the train sometime in the late afternoon for the ride back to Muskogee - all in less than twenty-four hours.  Pretty amazing thing for a school to do back in the early 1950's. And for a kid who grew up in a town with no zoo that trip made visiting zoos across the country first on every list of things to do.

                                                 Brother Kenny and Linda Leininger

When Monday morning rolled around it was the beginning of a very busy week.  I think it really bothered me at the time that Dennis was in one of his not-speaking-to-me phases but it actually was rather nice as I did not have to give a run through of what I was doing for the day. Just before Wally and I ventured off to look at decorating things for Barney's house Barney called to see how the weekend went.  I filled him in on the fact that I was still alive after jogging every morning, had new clothes I would never wear and everyone was glad when we sent her on the road back to Oklahoma. He told me no hurry on the house and would I meet him for lunch on Thursday.  Yes to lunch and he wished me well for the meetings at the medical schools on Tuesday. Rather amazing that Barney always knew the right time to call and the right things to say.

Wally was a pretty amazing little boy at four and a half years old.  Maybe it was all the years he travelled to college with me everyday but we made very good running buddies.  He seemed to like going to look at fabric and wallpaper with me.  Everyone was surprised at how good he always was and just happy he was in  picking out wallpaper and fabric for people with animals or cars and trucks. Sometimes you just get lucky as his brother was the total opposite.


Tuesday started out as a day of panic.  It had sounded so simple to call and make appointments with the Kansas School of Osteopathic Medicine
and the University of Kansas to see what to do to make my application more acceptable.  Getting in the car and going was a whole different thing. I took Wally to Mother's Day out and made arrangements with Karen to pick him up at 3:00 if I was running late.  First stop was the School of Osteopathic Medicine in Kansas City.  Ever have one of those moments when you get to where you are supposed to be but are afraid to get out of the car?  That was me but I had too many people who knew I was going to do this that I really could not follow through so somehow I managed to get out of the car and meet with the Head of Admissions.

To my surprise the meeting went very well.  He had a lot of questions mainly pertaining to the fact that I had only moved to Kansas City a month before I applied and there was a long list of colleges I had attended.  He thought that the test scores, while not great, were acceptable and the real question was I going to stay in Kansas if granted a spot in an upcoming class.  I assured him that I wasn't going anywhere and he said to reapply in the fall.  So I left with a new admissions packet and a sense of relief that it went so well.

On to Lawrence, Kansas and the University.  It was a little easier to get out of the car this time as some of the sheer terror had disappeared.  It was interesting in that the Admissions Counselor was a woman at KU. She went through pretty much the same questions about the short time I had lived in Kansas and how long did I plan on staying in the state.  She did go into great detail on the fact that they needed to admit more women into medical school and had lots of questions about my children and how committed I really was.  She did have a few suggestions on polishing up my application and sent me home with a new admissions packet for the following year.

What a day.  I had spent the last couple of months feeling totally stupid and believing no school would ever want me.  Guess the lesson learned here was to get up the courage to go and ask questions instead of just giving up. I still wasn't fooling myself in believing that it was going to be easy to get into a school but at least I did not feel quite so stupid and there was hope.

I arrived home at the same time Karen showed up with Wally.  Karen's son, Kedric and Wes had a soccer game that afternoon so I had a chance to fill her in on the meetings I had that day. She was always such a great positive person and such a great friend to have. School was going to be out in a few weeks for the summer and we started making plans on things to do with the boys.  With the activities the New Neighbors League had for the kids, the neighborhood pool, soccer and some summer camps it looked like it was going to be a fun filled summer.  

I met Barney on Thursday and he had decided we needed to go on another picnic so off we went to a beautiful park.  I filled him on Mother's visit and the meetings at the medical schools.  He laughed when I told him how nice the people were and asked if I had really thought they would be awful.  Yes, I think I lacked enough confidence that they would just laugh and tell me to get lost.  He said no, it didn't take anyone very long to realize what a incredibly bright and intelligent person I was. Please, I don't need any compliments.  He said, Yes you do and we need to talk.

He asked me how I felt about us since we had been meeting for ten months and what I thought the future looked liked. Can't say I expected that question and it was not an easy one to answer. So I started at the beginning and told him I had been in love with him since our first date in college. I think any minor problems we had then we solved by thinking about the other person rather than ourselves. Sure, maybe I should have run off with you the summer after Stephens but that was a different time and not something I could do.  Who knows what would have happened to us back then.  Maybe it was a huge mistake for me to call you when I moved to Kansas City but as complicated as it is now I can not imagine not having you in my life.  No one can predict the future but I know that you brighten my days and make me a better person.

When I finished he just sat there and looked at me for quite awhile. Finally he kissed me and said he couldn't have said it better himself and he didn't want us to ever be apart again.  Before we headed off for home he said he was going to be out of town for a week or so doing some seminars but was I willing to meet Lauren when he got back and show her the stuff for the house. My answer to meeting Lauren was of course.  It was not going to be that easy but that would be the right thing to do.

A Visit With Mother

If there was anything I Should Have Known in my lifetime journey it was why my relationship with my mother was so difficult. Writing now it is hard to reflect on our relationship back then without slipping in all the things I did learn later.  But that whole story would take another book.  So I will try to stay in that time frame.

We had lived in Kansas City for seven months before Mother finally decided to come for a visit. There always seemed to be some reason for her not to come, she was busy, there was a lot of snow, Ninette was here and so on and so on. I was looking forward to her arrival and dreading it at the same time.  But the house looked perfect, the boys were presentable, lots of food in the cupboard, Kansas City had lots of places for us to see and all the neighbors were anxious to meet her. Before her expected arrival sometime in the early afternoon Wally and I drove the three mile course I had mapped out for the daily run making sure it had the least hills possible which wasn't easy, then baked cookies and an apple pie.  Thank heavens Karen invited us for lunch across the street.  It killed time and Wally could play with Karen's son.

She finally arrived late in the afternoon a little confused.  One has know that my Mother was directionally challenged.  When she married George and moved to Oklahoma City the only way she could find her way home was to be able to see the tall, round Founder's Tower so I was not surprised.  I had sent her a map, a picture of the house, written out where to exit the freeway and what she would pass if she missed any turn.  That must have not been helpful as she had to stop three different times for directions. The last stop was not very far away and a gentleman offered to lead her to the house. At fifty-six years of age, five foot nine and very trim she was very good at getting men to help a damsel in distress.

I took her on a tour of the house which she really liked.  Access to her room was from a catwalk that went across the back of the two story living room which she thought was really neat.  Wes arrived home from school and disappeared on his bike, Karen came over to meet Mom and Dennis arrived home on his best behavior.  We discussed what to do the next day and of course there was the jog at 6:00 am, Wes off to school, Wally to the church at 9:00 and the day was ours to go to the Country Club Plaza to shop and have lunch. I fell into bed thinking all had gone pretty well for day one.

Guess I should say here that to me race horses run, sports people run in games they get paid to run in and regular people only run if they hear a child cry or the house is on fire. At 6:00 am with new running shoes on I felt like I was breaking some rule of nature.  Mother arrived in the kitchen dressed in a very fashionable running outfit, I was in shorts and a yucky sweatshirt, all cheerful and ready to do warm-up exercises. Dennis was not happy he needed to take care of the boys and breakfast.
Upon hitting the street I realized that our entire subdivision was all a series of mountains that only appeared to be little inclines. Even though I actually thought I was going to die at any second when Mother asked me how I was doing I would flash a big smile and say "great"! It was with great relief and a little bit of pride when I ran up our drive way and realized I was still alive.

We drove to the Country Club Plaza on my favorite route through the old, stately neighborhoods of Kansas City while I pointed out all the sights I knew.  Kansas City actually has more fountains that Rome and we made it past most of them.  She loved the Plaza as that was where all the expensive stores were and the great restaurants.  Mother had this passion for shopping and I was usually the target.  I use the term target as she only bought clothes for me that she liked which were 180 degrees from what I liked.  That day I came home with one of those running outfits and an Albert Nipon dress ($300.00) that was red with white polka dots.  Yes, it did look cute on me but I thought I needed a big red nose and huge shoes as I felt like a clown.  Oh well, maybe I could make it into a Halloween costume.  Lunch was at a little Italian place which was awesome.  The evening went well as Mother and I sat out on the deck and carefully avoided Dennis.  So far, so good.

I did better the next day on the run and maybe it was the new running outfit that made me feel like I knew what I was doing.  Mother breezed through the cupboards and planned dinner for the evening and got most of it ready before we ventured off for the day. Since it was a beautiful day and we had Wally I decided we should go to 12th Street and Vine for the Friday brown bag and blues lunch on the street.  We went by a Deli and got sandwiches and drinks, found a place on the steps of a building, had lunch and listened to some great music.  Also on Fridays there was a tour of Hallmark Cards in the Crown Center. I had done the tour with the New Neighbors and it was really fun.  For a dollar Wally could play in the playroom and Mother really enjoyed the tour showing the artists actually creating the cards to the printing and the shipping.  
Crown Center also had lots of nice shops so Mother came home with several items of new clothes for her.

When we got home on Friday from touring around Karen came over and asked how long Mother was staying.  Interesting that I hadn't asked but she said she needed to go home on Sunday.  Karen announced that she and two of the other neighbors were planning a cookout at Gary Krings house if Mother was going to be there Saturday evening. Mother thought that would be fun and said we would come.  Needless to say, Dennis was not happy but he agreed to go just because Gary was the only neighbor he liked.  Pretty cool when the neighbors throw a party for your Mother. That evening we sat on the deck again and she grilled me on what I was going to do about medical school. I explained that I was going to see the admissions people at each school the next week and would apply again. We talked about the health clinic but I did not tell her about wallpapering for Gary Krings or the possibility that I had an interior design job.  Day two down - one to go.

I felt pretty good on the jog on Saturday and did not have to fake the smile.  Wes had a soccer game at 10:00 so that took up the morning.  Dennis was dying to go to a restaurant called Stroud's so we all went there for lunch.  Stroud's was underneath an abandoned railroad trestle in an older part of Kansas City. Usually you had to wait in a line outside but you could get a beer or a glass of wine to enjoy while you waited in line....sometimes for an hour. The decor was leftover from the thirties with tables propped up with plates or ashtrays to make them sit even on the sagging wooden floor. There were mismatched wooden chairs with very faded red and white checked tablecloths.  In the middle of the floor was a full size grand piano that a lady who had to be at least 100 sat at in a faded long black dress and played and sang songs for your entertainment.  The only thing on the menu was fried chicken, chicken gizzards or chicken livers, mashed potatoes and green beans. It was like being taken back on a time machine to some other era but that was the best fried chicken I ever ate. Stroud's was always a unique experience and one of my favorites.

Mother had whipped up a pot of baked beans that she put in the oven before we left for lunch so we took those and a cheese ball I made to the cookout. The small gathering had grown to about fifty people including all the little ones. Everyone had brought food to share and it was all wonderful almost to the point of looking like a contest as to who could cook the best.  My neighbors were all friendly which comes from the fact that we all had moved from someplace else.  Without family all of us transient people sort of hung together.  Mother was very good at meeting new people and by the end of the evening she had many invitations for the next time she was here to go do this or go see that.  
I did take notice that after we ate that Dennis had vanished.  Except for his disappearing act Day Three went very well.

The jog went really well on Sunday and I thought for a moment I could do this everyday......not.  Dennis was barely speaking at breakfast and headed for the garage before Mother left.  I decided to let her follow me to the highway so she didn't get lost again. Needless to say a great sense of relief swept over me as her car disappeared down the road.  I spent four days saying "yes, Mother", "I will Mother" and agreeing with her about things I really did not agree with to keep her happy. I had grown up spending every day trying to please her and that pattern of behavior was not something I knew how to change.  Obviously I carried on with the same behavior with Dennis.

Guess I must have done something wrong while she was there since Dennis didn't speak to me for four days. Actually that was okay as I had a pretty busy week ahead with the two appointments at the medical schools, the health clinic job and decisions on Barney's house.  It also felt very nice to be grown up again instead of Mother's twelve year old daughter.

Just An Ordinary Day

At some point in time I discovered that making lists of everything that needed to be done in a certain time frame worked well for me.  No list meant that it was time to goof off and nothing gets done. Between the time I got home from the wonderful picnic and dinner I went room by room in the house to create the immaculizing plan for the Mother visit. It included fixing up the room Ninette had stayed in as a room for Mother and an thorough cleaning. The list was pretty extensive and forced a second list called Shopping for all those things like new towels I had put off getting. To the shopping list I had to add the new running shoes and maybe new shoes for Wes and Wally plus their haircuts so Mother did not complain about that.

Making a grocery list was out of the question as I was never good at deciding what I wanted to eat four days in advance. Plus I did not know what current diet, carbs, no carbs, meat, no meat that Mother was currently following.  Easy way was is just go buy one of everything in the store. Last list was what else I needed to do like call the medical schools for an appointment, go to work at the Health Clinic on Monday night, do a crash course in how to be an interior designer by 10:30 on Tuesday and then arrange it on a calendar to make sure I got the timing right on getting everything done. Just two legal pages of things to do in the next four days.  But it sure is fun to mark everything off the lists when they are done.

By Monday morning the boys looked great in their new shoes and haircuts, every piece of furniture had been moved so the woodwork was all shiny and the carpet vacuumed, my new running shoes were in the closet awaiting their debut and the car was washed.  After Wes went to school on Monday Wally, who at four and a half made a good shopping buddy, and I ventured off to get the new towels and bedding for the guest room and the expensive trip to the grocery store. The amount of groceries I purchased was greater than the cupboard space so some had to be stored in the basement. I did make the calls to the two medical school and set appointments for the following week.  By the time I had to go off to my volunteer job at the Health Clinic the only thing remaining on the list of things to do was a crash course in interior design.  Oh well, one can't be perfect and I crossed it off the list since there really wasn't such a thing.

Being an interior designer was never in my mind of things I aspired to be.  Somehow I had developed a disdain for them as they always seemed to be dressed to the hilt with lots of gold jewelry and driving an expensive car. The jewelry and the car were from the astronomical prices they charged. I had a nice new Mercury station wagon just because Dennis worked for Ford but forget the rest. Needless to say it was with great apprehension that I drove off to Barney's house armed with a tape measure and note pad and not an idea in my head as to what I was doing.


The house was in a very nice looking neighborhood, maybe ten to fifteen years old.  Thank heavens that the moment he answered the door all the fear of doing this faded away especially when I found out that Lauren was in school and would not be home.  It was a nice house, two story and I knew enough decorator words to say it had good bones and a nice flow.  He had gotten a real deal on it and as we toured the house I could understand why as it needed a lot of help.    Not only had it been decorated in some other out -of -date design phase but most of the drapes looked like they were from the clearance table at a Sears outlet store.

Barney wanted to just do the downstairs first so we went room by room.  I measured windows while he, to my amazement, told me pretty much what he wanted. Of course some of the rooms needed to be painted as neither of us could imagine having dinner in an orange dining room. Wallpaper with mean looking roosters on it in the kitchen did not do much for wanting to stay in there long enough to cook anything. The powder room had a foil wallpaper with huge flowers on it much too large for the size of the room.  I did ask him if the previous owners had paid him to take it off their hands.

There was still one room to check out but Barney decided it was - surprise - time for lunch. Didn't know you usually fed your decorator lunch but was informed that I was no regular decorator. So we had a very impressive shrimp and pasta salad that Barney had made while the wallpaper roosters looked on.  During lunch he wanted to know if my prices were reasonable before he committed to all the stuff.  I had to confess that since I was new at this I really didn't have any idea. My best thought when we figured out all the fabric and blinds I would just go to the most expensive interior design place in town and have them give me a price for them to do it.  It would be very simple to then add 25% on to it for me to do the work.  Somehow I managed to keep at straight face when I told him that but the look on his face ruined it as I just started laughing.  He then stated I would get no more free lunches while he tried not to laugh.

On to the last room downstairs which was his office.  He had already repainted it in a soft shade of gray.  When you walked in the door there was a beautiful desk straight ahead in front of a large window and a pair of leather chairs.  All the room really needed was a gray mini blind for the window.  He told me to go sit at the desk and see if I thought the room felt good.  When I sat down and looked up there were two framed drawings on either side of the door.  It was one of those moments that you know your heart has stopped beating and there is no way you can even breathe.

Although I knew what they were I got up from the desk and walked over to look at them. There were the two Today Show set drawings I had done at Stephens and signed by Hugh Downs when he visited the campus. Barney was smiling and said that this was the first time he had ever rendered me speechless.  He walked up behind me as I still stood there in disbelief and put his arms around me.  His story was that when I called him after I had left Stephens and asked him if he could go get them for me, he did.  When he came to Muskogee both times that summer to see me he just couldn't quite put them in the car to bring to me.  They were the only items he had besides a couple of pictures to remind him of our time together.  So he had them framed and had hung them every place he had lived for the last twelve years.

I turned around to say something with no idea of what to say when he kissed me and said not to say anything but to remember that he had said years ago he would always love me.  Then he added that if I did not dash out the door in the next two minutes little Wally would be crying on the sidewalk in front of the Catholic church with a nun who was ready to give me a lecture.

Well....that was certainly a day to say the least.  I made it to get Wally on time but it was one of those trips through town when you can't remember how you got from point A to point B.  You could probably call that "blind sighted" driving as I certainly was. I got better as soon as I picked up Wally and asked about his day coloring and playing.  It was a good thing he was too little to ask about mine. That would have gone something like "Oh, it was a nice day, Wally.  I met with the love of my life and I am going to decorate his house although I don't know what I am doing. He fixed me a nice lunch and told me he had always loved me. You know - just an ordinary day."

Somehow in the following twenty hours I was going to have to come back down to earth before Mother arrives.  Although I am hoping for a nice visit, a short one, one never knows what to expect from her.

The Picnic

Kansas City was as beautiful in the spring as it was in the fall when all of the leaves turned gorgeous colors and winter with all the snow. One interesting fact about Kansas City that a lot of people do not realize is that there are actually two cities in two states separated by a street named Sate Line Road.  Living on one side of the road makes you a resident of Kansas, the other side puts you in Missouri.

I can remember how pleased I was when Dennis got transferred to Kansas City as there was never a happier person than I to be leaving Dallas, Texas.  It is difficult to explain why with all of the normal horrors of moving, the month living in a motel, the seemingly endless string of disappointments and conflicts why I was always so happy to be there.  Maybe it was gaining a little maturity, the great neighborhood and the friends I made or the surprise opportunities that seemed to come my way.  Maybe Barney was also a reason.

I arrived at the fountain at the Country Club Plaza before he did.  It had been almost a month since our last lunch date and although we had talked on the phone while he was travelling I did miss seeing him.  I heard the familiar "Hey" behind me and he had pulled up alongside the curb in his car and told me to hop in that we were going on a picnic. As we drove to a park I asked him how the seminars and the book were doing. Everything went well but he thought it was too much all at one time.  He was tired and really glad to be home.

When we arrived at the park Barney opened the trunk and to my surprise there was a real picnic basket, a checked table cloth and a blanket.  I didn't know there was a Deli in town that specialized in doing picnic lunches.  What a great idea!  All you had to do was to order them, pick everything up and return it when you were done. Over lunch we laughed and joked about silly things while I was wondering about his comment on the phone pertaining to serious sounding stuff we needed to discuss. The picnic thing was no doubt an opportunity to really talk as we had done in college.

He finally got around to asking me why I had not said anything about my medical school applications and that he knew it was past the time for me to have heard something. Actually I had avoided the subject with everyone as I felt really stupid for even thinking I could be accepted.  I made all sorts of excuses to myself about the application showing I had gone to four colleges, had three different majors, married, two small children and a lot older than other applicants. When he asked me it was like the dam burst and I poured out all the feeling of rejection, all the excuses I made to myself, even Dennis's reaction and a lot of tears.

He took me in his arms and said how sorry he was but that he didn't know me to give up on anything except him twelve years ago.  Also that I should have told him first about the letters before I told anyone else since most people don't get into medical or law school on their first try.
Did the letters say anything about making an appointment with the admissions office to see why you were not accepted?  I said I didn't remember as I could not get past the first paragraph. That got a laugh and the suggestion that I look at them again and call to make an appointment and see what their reasoning was.  Then I needed to give him the application so he could see if we could make it sound better.

While I was basking in the thought that somebody cared and was willing to help me in what I wanted to do Barney came out with the question of "How about lunch at my house next Thursday?".  That was a surprise and my quick answer was that Mother was arriving for a visit, hopefully a short one, on Wednesday. So would Tuesday be okay?  There were a lot of reasons I should have said no, like what about his wife, Lauren, but I said okay.  Perhaps I had a "deer in the headlights" look as he started laughing and said he needed some interior design advice on his house.  Lauren was deep into law books and really had no desire to do anything to the house. We decided 10:30 on Tuesday would be good after I dropped Wally at the church for the day.

Needless to say the next four days were busy ones.  The boys needed haircuts and I needed running shoes before Mother showed up.  Then there was the matter of immaculizing (new word) the house before she arrived and checked all the woodwork for dust. Maybe this trip she would not spend her first day there cleaning the house, making sure all the laundry was done or planning all the meals for however many days she was staying all the while making me feel like a terrible person.  Oh, that meant a trip to the grocery store for healthy food. 

The letters from both medical schools did make reference to calling for an appointment. As much as I dreaded doing it I knew I had to by Tuesday. The thought of Tuesday itself was a little scary in that it is one
thing to decorate your own house but a whole different thing to know what other people like or want.  

 

New Opportunities

My rather quirky pharmacist Dad was very quick to not only rattle off chemical formulas but was very adept at picking the winning college football teams every Saturday at the local betting parlor in Muskogee.  I actually think he was a latent interior designer.  Long before all the DYI programs he choose all new furniture, loved purchasing lamps and did all the necessary painting.

Perhaps I assumed at the time that Dad did all this stuff himself as Mother had the constant phrase that still rings in my ears that we were too poor to hire people to do these things.  Actually I think he did it himself because he was a very picky perfectionist.  I cannot erase the memory of my Dad in his white dress shirt, dress slacks and expensive wing-tip dress shoes painting a room with no drop cloth and nary a drop of paint anywhere in the room or on him. 

After getting married and moving into numerous rental places with their white walls and nothing on the windows I started using what I had watched my Dad do all the years I was growing up. I can remember painting kitchen cabinets, putting up wallpaper, adding moulding trim and drapes in every rental place we lived to try to make them a little better looking. Of course I did it myself as we really could not afford to have it done. Lack of money is a very good reason to develop new skills.

The house in Carrollton, Texas was probably several square feet smaller when I left it for the layers of different paint I had applied to the walls through the years.  The new house in Kansas City changed dramatically in the first six months that we lived there with lots of wallpaper and window coverings added.  Naturally I did it all myself as Dennis had the same phrase that Mother had in that we could not afford to have someone else do all the work.

Maybe it should not have been a surprise when Gary, our builder, called one day to ask if I could help him out.  The gentleman who wallpapered all his new construction had disappeared and he needed some help getting a house done - would I be interested?  Without a moment of hesitation the answer was yes. Panic would set in later when I remembered the only time I had wallpapered for a friend in Texas I hung the wallpaper upside down. Luckily she was a good friend, it didn't look too bad and we both laughed about it.

I told Dennis that Gary had called and asked me to help him out.  Having a wife that hangs wallpaper may not have sounded like something a person of his status should have but money always talked to him and Gary was the only person in the neighborhood he did not have bad things to say about.  Besides I can imagine that he liked the thought of my making a few dollars instead of playing racquetball, going on tours of Kansas City or off to luncheons while still being able to be home to fix dinner.  Score one.

Approaching the subject of volunteering at the health department was a little more difficult.  How did I manage to have both Gary and Frances from the health department need help at the same time?  Gary and the wallpaper was pretty easy but the health department was a little tricky since it was in the evening.  After not saying anything about it all weekend I came up with the plan of just calling him at work on Monday and telling him Frances needed help that evening and I had told her I would be there. It was the right plan as I could tell he was not pleased. 

There were actually times, a few, when I felt sorry for Dennis.  I always thought and told friends that Dennis would have been happier if I stayed home and baked bread.  That was never me. He wanted me to finish college and be an English teacher but was not happy when I changed course to pre-med.  His only reasoning being that he did not want me to make more money than him. The thought of me making some extra money was always a happy thought to him as long as I was home to take care of the boys, have an immaculate house, dinner on the table, laundry done, yard mowed and look like the perfect wife at all company affairs.  Remember the phrase "multitasking"?  Well I think I did "megatasking" for a lot of years. 

Wallpapering for Gary was really fun.  Wally went with me on days he did not go to Mother's Day Out and was happy playing with toys while I worked away.  The first house led to the next house and then other neighbors discovered what I did, told their friends and relatives and I realized I could get very busy very quickly.

The health department was a whole other story and one I was not fully prepared for.  I guess I had heard the term "Health Department" but never paid any attention to what it actually was.  It was just normal if you were sick or needed a  blood test, immunizations, birth control or anything else you went to a doctor's office.  Sad to admit this but I must have always assumed that everyone had the money to go to a doctor.  My very sheltered suburban life got a dose of reality rather quickly.

On Monday nights the health clinic did female examinations with an intern from the osteopathic medical school for birth control, sexually transmitted diseases and other female problems.  My job was to be in the room with the doctor while the examinations were done so Frances could do patient intake.  The first night she did both so I could get a feel for the job. There were times that first night when I actually felt like I was in an alternate universe.  

Most of the patients were teenage girls who were sexually active and had no idea about birth control, birth control methods or how easy it was to get pregnant. If they were under eighteen they had to have a note from a parent to obtain a birth control method and Frances said they never questioned a note scribbled by someone other than a parent as it was technically legal and we certainly did not want to see them come in for a pregnancy test.  They were given a three month supply and then had to return, let one of the nurses know how they were doing on it and then they could be given a six month supply.

At the end of the evening Frances asked me how I felt and I had to admit it was a little more than difficult to know what to think.  I was rather astounded that so many girls and women knew so little but at the same time most of it was a surprise to me.  I had grown up in a period of time when "nice" girls didn't, had never even heard of Herpes and thought crabs were little creatures on the beach. But I was impressed with the kindness and compassion both she and the intern had shown all the patients and hoped I could do the same.  Yes, I would be back next Monday night.

Needless to say there was never a dull moment in the Tarkington household. Wes, at age nine, was like a whirlwind at all times.  If he could not cause some kind of commotion he was not happy.  He was playing soccer and in Cub Scouts which meant a lot of time with little Pinewood Derby cars.  He had developed a passion for rockets so we spent many spring afternoons at the park blasting little rockets into the air. Everything in his day had to be a top speed, a trait all the years of race cars had taught him.

Wally, at age five, I think, just sort of took everything in.  He was always happy even though I must admit his brother did try to be his boss.  The phrase "out of the mouth of babes" was a good description of him.  On one of Dennis's favorite Sunday afternoon drives the boys were bored and arguing in the backseat.  Actually Wes was probably beating up on Wally.  In situations like this it was normal for Dennis to stop the car along side of the road and haul the boys out for a spanking.  Wes got out of the car while Wally just sat there beginning to cry.  Dennis told Wally to get out of the car but through the tears he told his Dad he didn't need to because he was already crying.  Just how do you spank a child when you are doing everything possible not to laugh?

Spring in Kansas City that first year was beautiful.  Barney was out of town a lot promoting his book and doing seminars but always called on Thursdays.  Sometimes I got the feeling he called just to get a good laugh from my funny stories. During one call he said he had an interesting proposition for me for me when he got home.  I began to hear little comments from Dennis about building another race car (since I was making extra money), letters arrived from the two medical schools I had applied to and Ninette pulled a real stunt. 

Options

When the restaurant burned down that Barney and I had been meeting at for lunch over the course of eight months I wondered what we would do now.  In a phone call he said he thought of several options which I found was a strange way to put it.

It was a beautiful almost spring day when I met him by the fountain at the Plaza.  The first thing he asked was did I have quarter, I did and he said he used to ride his bike up the the Plaza as a kid to make wishes in the fountain.  He discovered that throwing pennies in really did not work but quarters did.  It took a minute to think of a wish I really wanted to come true and pitched my quarter in.  Then he said he had three options for lunch.  One was a picnic, number two was a nice little place a block away and number three was room service in the huge hotel behind us.

I am not normally fast thinking on my feet or very clever.  Somehow I managed that day to tell him it was like Let's Make A Deal and which of the three doors would be the big prize.  When he stopped laughing and wanted an answer I asked him if he had brought a picnic lunch.  He said no so I had it narrowed down to two doors which got a little harder.  How do I tell him without losing him that door number three was not an option as there were too many other people to consider?  While he was sitting there smiling that smile of his I knew this subject would come up at some point in time.  Finally I came up with an answer and told him that I had just made a big wish in the fountain that he said would come true.  Then I told him I didn't want all my wishes to come true at the same time so it would have to be number two - lunch around the corner. He grabbed my hand as we headed off down the street and told me I was priceless. 

The little place a block away turned out to be a piano bar that happened to have very good hamburgers.  Naturally everyone working in the place knew him.  To my surprise they asked if he was going to play for them today.  He explained that he hadn't had a piano since Columbia and would come in there when they were not busy and play.  So after lunch we sat down at the piano and he started off with Billy Joel's Piano Man.  We both ended up singing until it was time to go. It was the most fun I had had in a long time.  When he walked me to the car he said I had chosen the right door and that he had never had more fun with anyone than he had with me.  I agreed with him but it was a lot more than just fun.

It was some times hard to slip back into reality after a lunch with Barney.  By the time I picked up sweet little Wally from Mother's Day Out and Wes and Ninette arrived home from school I managed.  That particular day my neighbor, Frances, was coming by.  Dennis expected dinner ready when he walked in the door at 6:00 so between a quick pick up on the house, starting dinner and checking with the kids on how their day went there was not much time to think about much before Frances arrived.

Frances lived directly behind me and was probably about my Mother's age.  I had met her at a few neighborhood gatherings, saw grandchildren playing in the yard and knew she was a nurse at the Health Department.  It was hard for me to imagine why she was coming.  Did the kids do something terrible? I really could not imagine.

When she arrived we sat in the kitchen so I could watch over dinner cooking on the stove.  She began by telling me that she was actually the Director of the Olathe branch of the Health Department just south of where we lived.  I found out they provided some medical services to people in lower income brackets that could not afford to go to the doctor.  A big part of their work was in Family Planning, Well Baby Clinics, immunizations for school children and many other services.  It was quite interesting that at the age of thirty-three that I had never really heard what a county health department did.

Frances said that she had a staff of four young nurses but because of some budget problems she was short on help especially on Monday nights when an intern from the Osteopathic medical school came for female check-ups.  She had heard I had a science degree and was applying to medical school.  Would I be interested in being a volunteer on Mondays nights?  A lot of what they did did not require a registered nurse but she wanted someone with a little background, they could teach me what I needed to know and thought I might like it.

As Frances talked I could catch all the caring and compassion she had for her clients and her job. I remembered how I had asked Dr. Chandler, the plastic surgeon in Dallas, if I could go to work for him but he said no because I would never finish school and besides he did not pay his people very well not that money meant that much to me.  I had applied to the osteopathic school in Kansas City without really knowing much about it.  Now someone was offering me a chance to help out in what I wanted to do. What other answer was there but yes?  Plans were made for the next Monday night.

After I said yes to Frances about the Health Department I knew Dennis was not going to be happy about it.  Actually he was at a point where he was not happy about anything.  We rarely ever went anywhere except a few times we went out to dinner with some people he worked with or we took the kids to the zoo, a museum or on his famous Sunday afternoon rides through the country the children hated. He endured some of the New Neighbors gatherings for couples but never made any attempt to be very friendly to any of the other men and there were very few of the neighbors he paid any attention to or liked. 

I really tried to be the perfect wife and actually got very good at it.  Dinner was always on the table at the precise time, the yard was mowed every Friday afternoon so he didn't have to do it on the weekends, house was usually immaculate when he walked in the door, laundry and grocery shopping done. One of my most memorable Mother's Day was being the only parent sitting in a slight dusting of snow at one of Wes's soccer games while he sat at home watching TV.  But I always had a happy face when he was home.

I didn't mention the Health Department the evening after Frances came over as Dennis arrived home cursing about his job and wanting to move back to Dallas. I had a few days to formulate a plan on how to tell him - forget asking permission as his answer was always a big no.  But a phone call the next day from Gary, our neighbor and builder, gave me a way to ease into telling him about my volunteer job.

Fun and Friendship

At some point when the snow was very deep on the ground Woody, the family cat we had for several years, decided to sneak out the door never to be seen again.  I spent a lot of time wondering if we would find his body laying in the yard after the snow melted.  Thankfully as the snow melted there was no body found but the boys were ready for a new cat.
Late winter is not a real easy time to locate a new kitten but after calling numerous pet stores I found some at a pet store fifty miles away.  Dennis was never a "cat person" but crying children convinced him to make the trip and we returned home with a tiny yellow kitten whose little legs looked like McDonald's french fries. The boys named him French Fry and he would become one of our legendary cats in the years to come.

Wes was doing okay in school but homework and studying would never be his thing.  He was happiest racing up and down the street on his bike with a wing on the back just like a race car or playing soccer or tormenting his brother. Wally wanted to run with the big boys but at four and a half they didn't want him around most of the time.  He spent most of his time hanging out with me just being cute and sweet.  Ninette blended into the family pretty well, made friends that lived miles away so that at fifteen she needed lots of rides to see friends and go to school activities. I knew this whole situation was hard on her so I tried not to be upset when I found my clothes laying in a mess on the floor of her room.

                                                 Ninette

One day three tickets arrived in the mail for the Billy Joel Laser Light concert at Kemper Arena. Of course I was excited.  Who wouldn't want to go see Billy Joel?  But where did they come from?  There was no return address, no note, just three tickets. Dennis did not know anything about them.  I don't think he was even impressed and was going to be out of town the night of the concert.  None of the neighbors confessed even though they usually heard his albums blaring when they came over to my house.  But there was no way I was going to look a gift horse in the mouth so the night of the concert Wally went to stay with Karen across the street and Wes, Ninette and I headed off to the arena.

Now it seems strange that I would take a nine and a fifteen year old to a concert but there was no way I was going to get out of the house without them.  The seats were pretty high up but excellent as the stage was in the center of the packed arena.  Wes, of course, had to sit in the aisle seat, then Ninette and me in the third seat in.  Just as the lights went out we all had to stand to let a guy come by to sit in the empty seat next to me.  More interested in what was going on than someone arriving late to the concert it took a few minutes to realize the guy was Barney.  That was a heart stopping moment and certainly answered the question as to where the tickets came from.

Barney sat there looking like the cat that ate the canary with that smile of his.  The concert was unbelievable with Billy Joel jumping on the piano at times and singing all his great songs while the laser lights flashed around the arena.  Even at age thirty-three I have to admit to a little jumping up and down and maybe even a little screaming.  The kids were so enthralled by the concert that they did not notice or think it strange that Barney and I had a few brief conversations or when he bumped my elbow during "Just The Way You Are" and said that that was me.  It was definitely a night to remember for the kids and I.  Whispering thank you to Barney as we headed out of the arena didn't seem like enough but all he said was that he wouldn't have wanted to miss it.

The medical school test scores finally came.  As usual with the mail I had opened what was mine and left the ones on the dining room table that I thought Dennis would like to see.  He had never asked about my test or the scores but I watched when he picked them up, glanced at them and put them back down.  He did not say a word as to whether they were good or not or what I was going to do now.  Yes, it hurt my feelings but I was pretty used to that.  

I noticed on the sheet with  the scores that I had ranked in the top 25% of those who had taken the test at the same time.  My scores were not bad in Chemistry and Biology but Physics did not look too good.  Made me wonder if many people took the test that did not get the same degree I did or were simply dummies.  Oh well, the applications were typed and ready to go to the two schools I had the scores sent to.  I also had all the letters ready to send to past professors for recommendations.  Once I dropped them in the mail it was time to sit and wait again.

I have to say that I really had a group of fun neighbors.  We took care of each other's children, pet sat if someone was going out of town and just had fun together.  Most of us were in the New Neighbors group and participated in some of the activities but the most fun were the monthly luncheons.  Once a month somewhere around a hundred women got all dressed up for the luncheon at a country club.  There was always a great lunch and a program but the most fun was the social hour before lunch. A few Bloody Marys and I got very social. The hard part was going home and cooking dinner.

Karen across the street was a gourmet cook and had several rows of shelves in her basement that were six feet tall and and the length of the basement.  It was like walking into a grocery store with boxes, bags and cans of anything you could need.  Need a cake mix to do cupcakes for a school party that afternoon - it was there.  Come home slightly tipsy from a luncheon and need something quick to fix for dinner - off to Karen's basement. When I went to the grocery store each week I had two lists, one of things I needed and one of things I had raided from Karen's basement.  To top everything off, Karen made me a much better cook since I hung out at her house a lot and began to try new things.

I hardly ever stayed up for the 10:00 news.  In fact I hardly ever had time to watch TV except for Sesame Street and the Electric Company.  But one Tuesday night I heard a report that a popular Kansas City restaurant had burned down.  The restaurant was the favorite Italian restaurant where I went most Thursdays.  I called Barney the next morning and he had heard the news also.  It was really sad as I was worried about cute Louie in his tux and all the other nice people who worked there.  Barney said he had already heard they were going to rebuild and would I meet him at my favorite fountain on Thursday as he had several options as to what to do.  I agreed and the call ended before I began to think how strange the word "options" sounded.  Why didn't he say I know several other places or restaurants we could go?

As I was getting ready to go meet Barney my neighbor who lived behind me called.  Frances and her husband had grown children and I knew she worked for the Johnson County Health Department. Frances was at work but wanted to know if she could come by and talk to me after work that afternoon. I told her that would be fine but did not ask what it was about.

Why would a neighbor I hardly know want to talk to me?  Options?  What did that mean?  Maybe I need to ask a few more questions instead of whipping up worries.