I have to admit that my little volunteer job at the health department assisting the doctor with girls who had female medical problems was a real culture shock for me. Some wanted birth control methods but many had had problems I had never heard of and I have to admit to experiencing a "cringe" factor over some of them. Hopefully I did not show my surprise at some of it.
When Frances, the head of the health department, called and wanted to talk to me about the job I must say I was worried. Do people get fired from volunteer positions? That was the only thing I could think of for the next few days as I was very good at always thinking the worst.
I took Alpha to the New Neighbors luncheon. I actually had never seen her drink anything with alcohol in it but convinced her to have a Bloody Mary since there was always a social hour before the luncheon with a cash bar. Must say after the drink she really had a great time and enjoyed meeting all the ladies. When we got home it was time for me to go see Frances and pick up a pizza on the way home since neither Alpha nor I felt much like cooking especially after a couple of Bloody Mary's.
Frances wanted to know first how I liked working with the doctor at the clinic. I explained to her that even though it was a culture shock at times for me since I had learned I grew up pretty sheltered from the real world I really did like it. She then explained that she thought I would be really good at doing some family planning counseling. There were a lot of questions from her about how I felt about birth control methods and abortion. This was 1979 and abortion was now legal but was a very controversial subject. One that was not openly talked about very often.
I took a deep breath and told her that I had seriously thought about it from the aspect of trying to get into medical school. My opinion was that for me I could never have one but realized that there were circumstances for others that warranted having one. That it had nothing to do with religion but more with someone having the emotional stability and family support to have a child. Mother had told me stories in my teenage years when abortion was illegal about girl friends of hers in high school that committed suicide because they had gotten pregnant in the 1930's. I often wondered if they were made up stories to keep me from being sexually inactive when some of my classmates were getting pregnant and having babies or disappearing to go to what was termed unwed mother's homes. I think I believed they were true and could understand their actions.
Personal experiences shape a lot of our values, beliefs and opinions. When I was in high school a girl who was pregnant was not allowed to attend school but had to drop out. That may have been enough to keep me on the straight and narrow plus the fact that if I had gotten pregnant there was no way I could have told my parents. Then there was the little family secret I did not find out about until after I was married. It was something Mother never talked about and I didn't ask but Dad told me the story.
When the three of us kids were little, Paul 7, me 5 and Ken 3, an ambulance came in the middle of the night and took Mother away. We were just told that she was sick and everything would be alright. That was a good explanation for us and in a few days she was home. What I found out from Dad later was that she had an illegal abortion from a local doctor who was known to perform a few. Something went wrong and she had to have thirty pints of blood to save her life.
Dad never said what the reasoning for the abortion was and I did not ask. Not asking Dad why was something I would always regret. I figured that by the age of twenty-six she had already had four children. There was a baby girl between Paul and I that only lived seven days due to a severe birth defect. Maybe there was some problem with the pregnancy that would have resulted in the loss of her life or the loss of another child. I will never know the answer to that question but it was my parent's personal decision which it should be.
I had never told anyone that story before. There is doubt that either of my brothers know but there I was pouring out the entire story as I knew it. Frances did not look surprised or shocked as I am sure in her career she had heard everything. It was then instead of firing me from my volunteer job that she offered me a paid part time job as a family planning counselor as she thought I would be excellent at it. Of course I was pleased but with summer and the boys home, Barney's house to finish and the annual two weeks vacation in Warner, Oklahoma I had to decline.
Frances thought for a few minutes and then asked if starting the the fall would be better. That way I could come into the office when I had time during the summer and sit in on her counseling sessions as a training process. There would also be the chance to observe some of the other aspects of the health department that I had not seen before. With the timing worked out I whole heartily agreed to the job. I knew the job would not be easy but I would find out later how really difficult and emotionally draining it was.
The work on Barney's house went well that week. By Friday I had the wallpaper and the painting of the dining room done. That was the easy part of the job. The draperies were going to be a challenge as I had no place but the family room floor to lay them out. The real problem was that all the hems were going to have to be done by hand since my sewing machine, Mother's 1950's Singer, did not have all the bells and whistles that I really needed. God forbid that I would buy a new machine when this one had served me well since I learned to sew in the sixth grade.
Barney had to go to Denver for business before I finished the wallpaper. He gave me my rewritten medical school application before he left since it was probably not a good idea to have it laying around. No need for questions on why he was writing a medical school application for the interior designer. I told him he could just tell Lauren that he found an ad in the paper that said "Aspiring doctor will decorate your house for fun lunches." I read the essay and I hardly recognized myself. Barney said he wrote is as he saw me because I would never describe myself in such nice terms.
We were two weeks into the summer and it was not turning out like I had planned. I had looked forward to a quiet, laid back summer of hanging out at the pool and taking Wes and Wally to lots of fun places. I felt they needed one after the commotion of moving and living in a motel like last year. But due to my inability to say NO when asked to do something and the outside forces around me it was turning into a very busy and interesting few months.
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