Back From Spring Break

                                                                  Hugh Downs


Well walking in the door of the airport after deplaning the DC-3 Barney picked me up and twirled me around before giving me a huge kiss. That was a lifetime of outstanding greetings in one minute.  After picking up my suitcase full of books we headed off to dinner since I was starving as usual. The plane had taken off from Tulsa, barely got in the air before we landed in Joplin and then a very short flight to Columbia.  I am not sure I could have eaten if they had brought out food and what do you expect for a flight that had cost $12.60.

Dinner was interesting. When I told him about sitting next to Rin Tin Tin on the plane he laughed and said being with me was like a new adventure everyday.  He asked me more about my family, my knowledge of auto mechanics and hanging out with my little brother. That was all stuff we had never talked about in the month or so we had been dating. Guess in his world he had never met a girl who could change spark plugs and converse about engine parts and still behave as an ordinary girl.  He told me a lot about his family and growing up.  It was a surprise to realize we had been sitting there for two hours and it was time for me to check in at the dorm.

Back in the dorm everyone was telling stories of their vacations with the usual giggling and laughing that always happened with our little group. Pam had a wonderful time in New York and Sally was full of wild beach party stories. It was certainly a happy time for me to be back at school and I was very glad I had spent the vacation reading two books for Masterpieces of World Lit and written an English paper since school and activities were about to get very busy.

On Friday Hugh Downs and his wife came for the dedication of the new Helis Communication Center which housed all the Drama, Television, Radio and Film departments. He was the host on the Today Show and the game show Concentration.  His first television job had been as the announcer on the Tonight Show with Jack Paar.  Hugh Downs' wife was a 1941 graduate of Stephens College and was Hugh's first boss at a radio station in Chicago which is why they were invited for the dedication.  It was quite amazing to sit in one of the studios with Hugh Downs and the twenty or so television production students for two hours for a very informal talk with us asking questions.

We talked about production and current programming.  I still remember him saying that you could only improve what was currently on television by turning it off and reading a book or going to the movies. You should not just leave the television set on when there was nothing to watch.  Also to boycott products that had poor or false advertising.  As far as women in television, radio and film production the only way to break in was to be excellent at every aspect but be prepared to go in on the lowest rung of the ladder being ready to jump on any opportunity to show them what you could do.  

I was impressed by how down to earth and friendly Hugh Downs was and also that he was much nicer looking in person than on television.  All the set drawings we had done were posted on the wall and he very carefully looked at each one and autographed them for us.  It was a very proud moment when he singled mine out for the camera and light positions.  Guess I was learning something.  

Can you imagine having a boating and canoeing physical education class at 8:00 in the morning on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday?  
Somehow Cathie and I had signed up for it and did not think until that first Saturday morning that we had to be nuts.  First of all we had to hike out to the lake at 7:30 AM and then the other bad part was getting into a boat with Cathie.  Her favorite part of the class were the lessons in what to do if the boat turned over.  I think she could have turned over a forty foot yacht without trying very hard. Forget about not getting your hair wet back in the days when it took rollers and slow hairdryers to not look like a drowned rat for the rest of the day.  Forget that there was not enough time to change out of wet shorts or slacks for your next two classes.  We both appeared for Psychology and English clad in trench coats over dripping clothes. Guess that was not so bad considering some of the girls came in trench coats over their pajamas. Tuesday and Thursday were not quite as bad since I didn't have a class until 10:00 and could look halfway decent and fully clothed by then.

Saturday afternoon after I had put my hair back to looking respectful Sally, Woody, Pam and Cathie decided to go out to the lake.  Barney thought that sounded like fun so we all piled in his car and headed out. That was a fun afternoon in that Barney found out what a crazy group I really did live with.  No way was I going to get in a boat with Cathie so Sally and Woody were the ones to get soaked.  I picked a row boat so that Barney had to row while Pam and I got to ride.  Great afternoon - the start of the summer sunburn and lots of laughter.


Sunday Barney decided to show me he really could cook so we went to the grocery store and then to his place.  He did just a pretty great job of making spaghetti and meatballs, salad and garlic bread all by himself. Add a bottle of wine and it was better than going out.  While we were eating the phone rang and I noticed a funny look on his face.  He just said no one should bother us during dinner and did not answer it.  While we were doing dishes the phone rang again.  I told him he should answer it and that I would go outside.  He gave me a kiss and as I headed out the door I heard him say hello.  It was not even a very happy hello and definitely not the happy sounding  "Hey" I always got on the phone.

I sat on the steps for what seemed like hours but was actually only a few minutes.  The look  on his face and his reluctance to answer the phone sort of told me he knew it was not a call he wanted to answer with me there. I never did like listening to one side of a conversation which is why I ducked out the door.  Normally I am a really optimistic person but for some reason a real sense of dread crept through me.

Barney finally came out the door, sat down and put his arm around me. Then he asked if I was alright and perhaps my answer of "sure" was not real positive. 

Barney then said, "Come inside, I need to talk to you."

Muskogee Bound, Ready or Not

Finally arriving home to Muskogee for Spring Break was needless to say a relief after the nine hour bus ride.  It was also nice to have the whole family, Mom, Dad and brother Kenny there to pick me up. For a few moments I even forgot that I didn't get to go to a beach somewhere or some exciting big city.  On the way home most of the conversation centered on the fact that Continental Trailways did not advertise the number of gentlemen being leisurely and drinking from paper bags outside of the bus stations.  Can you picture what an ad like that would have looked like?

I had promised myself that I would be on my best behavior during my week home and not cause any family problems.  I even bounded out of bed at 5:00 AM every morning when Mom came to dust mop my room, helped Kenny fold newspapers for his route before he went to school and joined Mom for a cup of black coffee, which I hated, before she went off to work. By 8:30 everyone was out of the house and I was left without transportation. It was pretty quiet compared to the dorm.

At 9:00 AM the phone rang and the operator said she had a long distance call for Donna from Barney and would I accept. Of course I would and then there was that now familiar "Hey".  He must have known about the bus characters as he wanted to make sure that I had made it home alright. I told him all about the trip especially the story about how Mom had suddenly become concerned over the fact that maybe bus trips were not the thing for her daughter.  We did not talk long due to the long distance charges but it was nice to hear his voice.  


It felt good to throw on a sweat shirt and a pair of jeans after having to get dressed up everyday. Exploring the house, yard and two garages everything was in it's usual immaculate order.  When you have a mother who dust mops the parquet floors every morning and washes the windows every Saturday morning plus a Father who wipes the car off with a chamois every night things tend to be in order. They were certainly an interesting pair.  Even though I can remember Mother telling me one time they were just like all parents the older I got the more I realized that was not the case.

When I made to promise to myself that I would not cause any family problems during my week at home it meant that I would have to be very careful about what I talked about.  Mom did not want to hear about anything concerning my college days except class work and school stuff.  She was not paying money for me to have fun with friends and certainly not to meet boys and go out on dates, not that she said that out loud.  I knew from previous experience that those conversations would throw me into the category of someone not worthy of being spoken to.  

It would have been so neat to be able to tell Mom about all the silly things that my friends and I did or how much fun it was just to have girl friends.  I imagined that some Mothers would have gotten huge laughs out of some of the horrible dates I had been on and would have wanted to know everything about someone special I had met.  Ever since I was fourteen or fifteen every conversation with her had to guarded and I learned it was best just to agree with her on everything and never tell her how you felt about anything.

So I spent the week studying and hanging around with my brother, Kenny. Kenny was two years younger than me and was always the perfect child.  I can't remember Mother ever getting mad at him so I was safe cruising the local hangouts with him at night.  Chet's was the local hot dog stand where most of the high school kids hung out, The Corral was the place for the local hot rodders with the white t-shirts and the longer hair and Russ's was where everyone drove through or parked to watch who was driving through - that was Muskogee on any given night.  Kenny had been building cars since he was twelve so he knew every hot rodder in town as we rode around in his 55' Chevy. Our back garage was usually filled with guys wanting car parts or advice so Kenny and friends were my only source of fun while I was home.

Dad had me take him to work on Friday so I could have his car to check on my summer job.  It was fun to go out to Meadowbrook County Club and see Bob, my boss.  I had been the lifeguard at the pool the summer before and he wanted me to come back the next year.  He was glad to see me and hear I would be back.  We had become friends the previous summer and he caught me up on all the gossip since it seemed like I was always the only person he had to talk to.  People are fascinating.

By the end of the weekend I was ready to go back to Columbia.  I had gotten to spend time with my older brother, Paul, wife Joan and my darling little nephew, Don.  Mom had asked if I wanted to go to Tulsa and shop for clothes which I declined saying that I did not need any.  
Now what girl turns down a chance to shop?  That was easy for me since I really didn't want to spend that time in the car with her fearing I would say the wrong thing plus in my eighteen years of shopping with her I never got to purchase what I wanted.

Monday everyone went back to work and school so I had the house to myself again.  Barney called at 9:00 AM as usual.  We had talked on the phone everyday and I had called him a couple of times after Mom and Dad went to bed.  He told me he had gone out to Stephens Lake on Sunday to read a book but had trouble reading because he missed me being there with him.  How come this guy keeps surprising me with statements like that?  This isn't the movies which is the only place guys say things like that.  I finally admitted to him that the days had really dragged by and I thought about him all the time.  He laughed and said good, that he was afraid I would be having too much fun to even think about him.

Well, that conversation made the day go by at a snails pace.  Mother came home with new travel plans for me to get back to school. If I flew from Tulsa to Kansas City it would be $42.00 plus I would still need to ride a bus the seventy miles to Columbia. ( Could not suggest that Barney would have come to Kansas City to get me.) So the plan was for me to fly from Tulsa to Columbia on Ozark Airlines and it would only cost $12.60 and I could get a cab from the airport to Stephens. That sounded like an excellent plan as I did not really want to go through another nine hour bus trip.

Cathie called on Tuesday and said she was ready to get back to school.  None of her friends in Midland were on Spring Break either so she had been hanging out at home too.  Maybe my family was not the only one that was difficult to deal with or maybe we were just beginning to enjoy being more on our own.

Kenny skipped school and took me to Tulsa on Wednesday to fly back to Columbia.  I think my Dad was almost in tears when Kenny and I stopped by the drugstore to say goodbye.  He gave me some money to buy clothes in Columbia since he knew why I did not want to go to Tulsa with Mom.  I know he missed having me around more than anyone.

For some reason I never got on an airplane and sat next to a normal type person.  If there was a character of some type on the plane - that is who sat next to me.  This time I got to sit next to a German Shepard.
There was a blind woman and her little girl across the aisle that needed to sit together so I got the dog.  He wasn't much for conversation but at least I got the window seat.  The airport in Columbia was pretty small and as we came in for a landing I could see the Barneymobile in the parking lot.  I wanted to kiss Rin Tin Tin goodbye and tell him how happy I was to be back but I didn't think he would understand.

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The Start of the College Adventure

Cathie breaking the rules

With my computer being offline for most of the month of December due to my own stupidity I had lots of time to think about those first few weeks of being at college.  Usually I can sit down and write these stories in a couple of hours but this one has been started and erased many times over the last week.  It really never dawned on me until the last couple of weeks how much that year at Stephens College caused a lot of changes in me.  Maybe that is called growing up or at the very least, the beginning of that transition from childhood to being responsible for one's self.

Arriving at Stephens was actually quite devastating. I have always told people I am really quite shy which no one believes.  It has always been an effort to meet new people and know what to do or say. But at the same time there has always been the desire to be liked and to have friends. Growing up and living in the same town for eighteen years made it easy for me to have friends just because I had known them all my life.

So, here I was in a group of eighteen hundred girls I did not know, who appeared to be so self-assured, had beautiful clothes and came from exciting places.  To top it off I had Cathie for a room mate. There were many times in those first few weeks that if I would have had the courage to ask to change room mates I would have.  As time passed there were many times the dorm mother asked if I wanted to room with someone else that I would laugh to myself and tell her that maybe I could help Cathie be a better person. Some how Cathie's constant antics, total disorganization and love of people drew me in.  It got to the point where I was almost as good as she was at getting us into trouble.

Looking back now I have begun to realize that the eight of us living at the end of the hall together probably all wondered what we were doing there.  Somehow we all managed to blend together in a little group we called "the Big Eight".  Although we all made other friends at Stephens we relied on each other in the good and bad times and spent a lot of our free time together.  

Pam, Sally, Woodie, Donna, Cathie, Marty Mo

When classes started I realized that perhaps I had gotten in over my head.  All the classes were fine except for the ones in Theater and Drama which was my intended major.  Five minutes into the first class I was trying to fade into the chair dressed in my plaid wool jumper and weejuns.  Everyone in that department was dressed in black tights and ponchos, had long flowing hair and wore sunglasses even at night.  Sorry, I had gone through the "beatnik" phase when I was in the ninth grade and did not find it very appealing.  Besides with the affected speech patterns everyone had I hardly understood anything they were saying.

Thankfully after the first week of classes you had a meeting with your advisor for him to see how your classes were going.  I hope I did not sit there and cry since I was so unhappy but he did get the idea that I did not fit well in Drama department.  By a stroke of luck he was the head of the Television, Radio and Film department and instantly switched all the drama classes to TV, Radio and Film. Have to say that I felt at home in that genre.  The only class that was challenging was General American Speech.  It was difficult to rid myself of the Okie accent that I did not know I had.

The student-advisor relationship at Stephens was pretty impressive.  Mr. Wheeler, my advisor, not only kept check on you - to the extent that if you missed a class he called you on the phone to see what the reason was - but he also had a little get together with all his students once a month.  Usually we were invited to his home for a cookout or dinner on a Sunday evening with his wife and three small children. I guess this gave him a chance to study us and see how we were doing. It gave me that little touch of home and family life that you tend to miss on your first adventure away from home.

Driving through Norman recently on a football game day I realized how much things have changed since I was in college.  The second weekend I was in Columbia there was a University of Missouri football game. Stephens girls were not allowed to have or to drive cars.  Going to the game meant walking to the stadium, which was quite a hike, with your girl friends or a date.  Everyone dressed up to go to the game and if you were lucky enough to have a date you sported a huge mum in the black and yellow colors of the Missouri Tigers.  I can remember walking to the game with a boy named Skip in my pleated skirt, sweater, knee socks and loafers with that flower pinned on my shoulder. After the game we had dinner and then went to a mixer (dance) at Stephens.  It was the first college game I had ever been to and the whole day was so much fun.

Perhaps the most startling difference in going to college then and now was phones. Of course there were no cell phones and there were no phones in the dorm rooms. Each floor had a phone on both ends of the hall on every floor. Calls could come in from the outside or from the desk in the lobby of the dorm.  It may sound awful but actually it was rather nice.  If you decided going out with someone was not a good idea then you could happen not to be there or if your parents were calling to complain about money you didn't have to take the call. Everyone was good about leaving notes on your door stating what calls you had while you were out.

It may be that a lot of girls going off to college for the first time, away from parental supervision, would take the opportunity to become a little wilder than they were at home.  In some ways perhaps we all did but basic lessons and morality instilled at home kept us pretty much in line.That is not to say we did not have a heck of a good time.

Did Cathie and I really exit a party through a bathroom window?
How did Sally break her nose on a date?
Was hitch-hiking to a banned night club the really smart thing to do?
How does one smuggle someone out of a hospital right after surgery for a pizza and beer?
Can a person drink 23 pony cans of Colt-45 and still walk?
If your father is the President of a bank did he really teach you to switch to a red pen when you are overdrawn?
Jefferson City is within the city limits of Columbia isn't it?
Why do I know so much Hebrew when I am not Jewish?
What would we have all done without Pam?

Lots of questions to figure out the answer to.