Bad Days Can Become Good Ones

Did you ever wake up in the morning with a warm glow and snuggle into your pillow remembering how much fun you had the night before?  
For awhile all your thoughts are filled with the dinner, dancing and that first kiss from someone you are beginning to really care about.  Then bam - you realize that everything is a blur after that kiss and you had to ring the doorbell for the dorm mother to let you in.  What was the story your date told the dorm mother for why you were 23 minutes late?  Panic sets in as you wonder if you are going to be expelled from school.

Maybe having to go to Psychology and English class that Saturday morning was a good thing. At least in class there were moments I could listen and not think about an impending disaster.  Walking back to the dorm after class I would tell myself I would call Barney so he could answer some questions then tell myself no, nice girls didn't call boys even in life or death matters.  There was the thought that I would never hear from him again.  It was difficult to even put one foot in front of the other.

Arriving back at the dorm I was met by Mrs. Wells holding flowers.  She was smiling which was a good sign.  She said she imagined the flowers were from my nice young man and that she had signed me in as 23 minutes late.  At some time in the future I would have to go before the dorm council for disciplinary action for my being late.  So I took that as a sign I did not have to go upstairs and pack my suitcases. 

The flowers were 23 yellow daisies with a card that said "Sorry".  How did he know daisies were my favorite?  As I am smiling at the flowers hoping that the "Sorry" meant just that and not "Sorry" I don't want to see you again the phone rang in the hall.  Since everyone else was still in class or off eating lunch I answered it.  Interesting how when I answered the phone and a voice said "Hey - how are you" in a concerned manner and I knew it was him.  The only other question was what was I doing.  Actually I was starving since breakfast would have not gone down well earlier but I just answered that I had just gotten back from class and thanked him for the flowers.  He said he would pick me up in ten minutes.  Yippee!

The best course of action was to meet him in front of the dorm to avoid running into Mrs. Wells again until I knew what story he had whipped up for my being late.  There are a lot of little moments we forget as the years go by but I have never forgotten watching him walk up the sidewalk to meet me.  I think I knew then that being with him felt different and special.  He asked if I was hungry which I was thankful for.  Off we went in that car of his, this time at a reasonable speed, headed for Stephens Lake.  Interesting as there was no food at the lake.

When we got to the lake he opened the truck and pulled out a picnic lunch.  It did not matter that it was peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, chips, store bought cookies and lemonade.  It was just unbelievably cute of him.  We spent the afternoon talking and laughing.  He was as worried about my being late as I was.  The story he came up with was that we parked out by the football stadium, a good mile or more from the dorm, and the car would not start.  We had to walk back to the dorm which took us a long time.  Somehow I found that to be an exceptionally funny story since he had never kissed me until we arrived back at the dorm that night.  Funny also because even though what ever people do in parked cars was not a forbidden thing at Stephens it was certainly not one girls confessed to.  I told him I wasn't sure a ruined reputation was better than being kicked out of school. 

I had to get back to the dorm by 6:00 as I had made plans with Pam to have dinner and see a movie since he had not filled in my dance card for that night.  He seemed disappointed and I have to admit I was too.  With Spring Break starting the next Wednesday we both had lots of class assignments to get done so he suggested we study together the next day.  Sounded good to me.

The evening with Pam was fun as all the times with her were.  I have to admit that when we met the first day at Stephens I was a little in awe and felt a lot like the country bumpkin as she had grown up in the L.A. area.  She was poised, confident and intelligent but to know her is to love her as she is as good of a person as you can find.  She did her best to keep the rest of us out of trouble and was always there to talk, or help and always the first to laugh at some of the silly antics that went on.

Saturday nights in the dorm were always hilarious.  Cathie would come in from a date with one wild story after the other be it flying all over town on the back of a motorcycle or how she ditched some guy who wouldn't leave her alone.  Erin never had anything good to say about dates she had which is interesting as I think she went out with everyone in Columbia and finally had to resort to soldiers from Fort Leonard Wood.  Sally never had a serious thought in her head and Woodie was totally lost in a fog.  Laughter was the best way to end a day.

Stephens College in the 64-65 school year was going through a transition from what had been a two year "finishing school" for young ladies to a full four year college.  Confusing as it sounds now freshmen were called juniors, sophomores were seniors and then the first of the third year students were called upperclassmen.  There was no Student Union where you could eat and hang out but a couple of Tearooms on the campus.

Many of the old traditional rules were still in place that were much different from the University of Missouri.  Sororities were local on campus, Vespers, which was a religious service, was required on Wednesday nights and there were many other functions that required your attendance. The important rules were no drinking, no being in men's living quarters and the requirement to be within the county limits during the day and the city limits at night.  The dorms were locked at 10:00 Sunday through Thursday and at 12:00 on Friday and Saturday.  Being late caused you to have to ring the doorbell and face the wrath of the dorm mother you kept up late.  All these were important things to remember.

The day after the skateboarding event I met Barney, class schedule in hand, at one of the tearooms for lunch. It was easy to put on pounds eating Stephens food either in the dining hall or the tearooms.  They made all their own bread and ice cream which was to die for.  Over meatloaf sandwiches Barney and I came to a schedule for the week which now seems very funny.  After two dates I felt like I was filling out a dance card with his name in little slots.  Thursday night would be my choice of what to do (perhaps a dangerous idea on his part) and Friday night he had planned a date and the only thing I knew about it was that I was to dress up. I guessed that would be the little basic black dress, heels and a single strand of pearls.


Picking something to do on Thursday night was pretty easy. Not giving a thought that most guys hate musicals I picked going to the movies to see Mary Poppins. There was a slight eye-roll from Barney when I announced where I wanted to go but he was the one that decided the evening was my choice.  There was the fleeting thought that perhaps making a guy I was really trying to impress go see Mary Poppins was not the best plan. After a stop for ice cream on the way home he was looking a little serious but a few songs and dance steps from me got him laughing. When we arrived at the dorm he told me he really had fun and was looking forward to the next night.  Relief - I hadn't blown it yet.

Must say when he came to pick me up on Friday night we made a pretty good looking couple.  I, in my basic black and he in a suit and tie. The dorm mother looked like she had just fallen in love herself. On the way to his car he said we were double dating with friends of his but wouldn't tell me where we were going. Now what college student drives a 1964 Pontiac Booneville?  No wonder we were walking everywhere.  It took up two parking spaces and there was enough room in the front seat for six people. It seemed a little lonely sitting by the passenger door until he said "Hey" and pointed to the seat right next to him.  I gladly moved over so that I did not have to shout to talk to him.  

1964 Pontiac Booneville

Off we went and I noticed the city limit sign as we sped by, then the county limit sign. It wasn't that I hadn't broken any Stephens rules before it just was difficult to ask where we were going as my stomach began to sort of roll around.  I had the feeling he was determined to keep the location of our date a secret so I didn't ask and tried to not show terror in my voice as we drove down the highway further and further from Columbia.

Finally we arrived at the destination which ended up being an elegant  hotel in the Missouri capitol of Jefferson City.  It was a little difficult to behave in a normal manner upon arriving at a hotel.  What was the guy I hardly knew thinking and how do I get out of this one?  You cannot imagine my relief when we entered the huge dining room with an orchestra playing and people dining and dancing.  For an eighteen year old girl from Muskogee, Oklahoma this was just like in the movies and I felt like Cinderella.

All thoughts of breaking a Stephens rule that could put me on a plane home the next morning disappeared from my head during dinner.  The other couple was fun and Barney turned out to be a very good dancer.
Gliding across the floor I was having the time of my life until I happened to glance at his watch.  Did it really say 11:40?  Like Cinderella my witching hour was 12:00 and we were thirty-five miles from Columbia. There is no quick way to exit a restaurant and get a car from valet parking.  It seemed like forever before we actually got on the highway.

That was the first time I was ever in a car going 100 miles an hour.  The speed did not terrify me at all but the thought of what was going to happen when I had to ring the dorm doorbell and face Mrs. Wells certainly did.  Then there was the problem of concocting a logical story about why I was late without anyone finding out that we had been a long way out of the city limits.  By the time we did get back to the dorm I was beyond thinking or speaking.  Barney parked the car in the middle of the street, grabbed my hand to pull me out of the car and we headed for the door.

He kept telling me everything would be alright and how sorry he was.
When we got to the door before I rang the bell he kissed me and said "Let me do the talking".  He told Mrs. Wells something about someplace we had gone and the car would not start and we had to walk back to the dorm.  She was just happy to see him and would have believed anything he told her.

So far, so good.

Mabel Wells, Dorm Mother

I Should Have Known Inquiring Minds Had To Know

                                 The Date Approval Council plus Cathie's Marty Mo

Going in the dorm after the first date with Barney I was met by Mrs. Wells, the dorm mother.  Thinking it was something I had done wrong I was surprised when she had a discussion with me about what a charming young man Barney was. It never ceased to amaze me how closely she watched all of us.  That had it's good and bad points.

Arrival back to my room brought on all the questions I could not answer before the date.  There were a lot of inquiring minds especially as they were hanging out the window as we walked away from the dorm.  Yes, he was very nice, a junior/senior at Mizzou carrying twenty-two hours working on a business degree, he was from Kansas City and we had another date the next day. 

Actually I was glad when all the girls went to bed and stopped asking questions.  Needless to say I was a little behind in the homework department since the weekend had not been very productive for studying.  Trying to do it that evening was just about as difficult.  One of those times when the brain goes on a rewind of the afternoon.  Anyone remember the times when one moment you have a sort of warm and fuzzy feeling that this was someone really special - the next moment you just know he will never show up again? Did I really tell him I would show up in a ballerina tutu?  Is my crazy room mate really rubbing off on me that badly?

Monday morning came too fast to get all the classwork done and I was really wondering why I had agreed to a date with Barney that afternoon. There was a book I had to read by Wednesday and a lot of extra TV and radio studio time I needed to put in.  Since I had not bothered to ask for his phone number I was stuck but somehow I doubt that I would have cancelled the date.  Cancelling would have been the logical thing to do and there were not a lot of logical thoughts floating through the brain.

                                        Sally and Cathie

I got back to the dorm a little after 3:00 and ran upstairs to drop off books.  Cathie and Sally had borrowed a skateboard from the only girl on our floor that had one and headed downstairs. For those of you who did not know there were skateboards back in the 50's and 60's, there were.  They were a lot different than later models in that they were only about eighteen inches long and six or seven inches wide with small metal or wooden wheels. It was more difficult to place feet on them and the wheels did not roll over bumps in the sidewalk very well.  By the time I got downstairs Sally and Cathie had introduced themselves to Barney who was early as usual.  It began to look like a set up deal for them to meet him.

It was very easy to lose control of any situation when Cathie was involved and adding Sally in made it truly difficult.  Whatever the plans had been for the afternoon were suddenly changed by my two wacky friends. The four of us ended up skateboarding all over the campus.  Well, let's say attempting to skateboard.  It had to be quite a sight.  Sally was balance challenged and could trip over anything. She spent most of the time in some hilarious position before crashing to the ground.  I managed to do pretty well but Cathie was the champ. She would go as fast as she could waving her arms and singing. When she crashed it was pretty spectacular as all three of us ran after her in laughter.

Poor Barney could not even get his big feet on the tiny skateboard.  As a last resort Cathie got him to try to just stand on one foot which was a total disaster.  Don't think he wanted to try the art of skateboarding after one crash that resulted in a definite limp for the rest of the afternoon.  That was when he suggested we go have pizza so he wasn't forced to try any more new tricks.  

It was difficult to actually eat pizza for all the laughter.  Between Cathie and Sally who always brought out all the silliest in me it was a good thing we were not asked to leave the restaurant. I had a class that evening so Barney and I walked back to the dorm.  He wanted to know if all my friends were crazy and I answered that they actually pretty much were.  It was like one of those questions that made you wonder if he really wanted to hang out with a group of idiots especially when the conversation turned to the amount of studying we both had to do.  The fear crept over me that the next thing coming was perhaps he was to busy to see me.

Arriving back at the dorm he said that he could not remember laughing so hard and that he knew he would never know what to expect next from me.  There was a moment when it felt like the big brush off was coming as he talked about how much studying he had to do but then he asked me to make out my schedule of classes for him and meet him for lunch the next day. That had to be a positive thing or he just wanted to know when to hide in Columbia so he didn't run into me or my nutty friends.

Later that night after class Cathie gave her approval of Barney but said I had better work on teaching him how to play.  For the first time in three days I was able to open a book and remember what I had just read.  Back to studying since we had a special guest coming the next week for the dedication of the new performance learning center which meant more hours in the TV studio plus it was nearing the end of the third semester.

It was interesting that Cathie came to the conclusion that Barney did not know how to play. She was the absolute queen of playtime so I figured she should know.  Can I really teach a twenty year old, 4.0 Eagle Scout how to play?

Probably.

Cathie

                                                                 

First Date

A picture can bring back so many memories. Why do I have the look of sheer terror on my face? What was in my mind thinking that was my favorite outfit?  Just who sends flowers telling you what time he will pick you up when he didn't even ask you if you wanted to go out?

Back in 1965 it was rare to get flowers unless it was your birthday or some special occasion like a prom.  Living in a dorm at Stephens College it caused a real commotion since they were left at the front desk and inquiring minds wanted to know just what the occasion was. It created a lot of questions and suggestions when I confessed they were from a boy I hardly knew with a card the said "Had to go home for the weekend.  I'll pick you up at 3:00 on Sunday".

What was initially excitement to think that this nice, great looking guy actually wanted to go on a date with me turned into panic when everyone started asking questions.  Did he go to the University of Missouri?  How old was he? How did you meet him?  Where are you going on this date? It was pretty terrible as I could only tell them I had talked to him at a club, couldn't remember much of the conversation and could not even remember if I gave him my phone number.  That only made matters worse. Thank heavens those were the days of girls happily hitchhiking so at least no one was worried about a serial rapist.

Needless to say I had times of being excited and then times of really questioning keeping the date between Saturday afternoon when the flowers arrived and Sunday at 3:00.  What am I going to say to him when I was pretty speechless the night we met?  Just what does a person wear on a date when you do not know where you are going or what you are going to do? I am quite sure I checked every one's closet to find the perfect outfit for whatever.  Of course studying was out of the question as well as eating and sleeping. Then there was the thought that he just might not show up.

The picture was taken just before the appointed time for the date and I guess I should explain the outfit.  Sort of has the look of a refugee from a private school.  Oh.....I was at a private school only we did not have uniforms.  Have to admit that I had - still have - a fascination with sailor collars.  If I was going to really go through with this date I needed to wear something I felt comfortable in whether it looked totally ridiculous or not. Also Stephens girls were not allowed to wear slacks unless you were going to physical education class or out to Stephens Lake. So the picture was taken when I was ready to go or still trying to decide if I would just let the front desk tell him I was not home.

The hall phone rang at 2:50, Cathie answered it and I was paralyzed when she announced he was downstairs.  Somehow I made it down the steps without running or falling.  There he was, all six-foot four of him happily chatting with the Dorm Mother. No doubt she had gotten wind of the flowers thing and was checking him out. When he said hello and smiled at me my a portion of my sanity returned.  The only little hurdle left was to sign out with a name and where we were going.  That was pretty bad when you don't know his last name and certainly not something you want to admit in front of the Dorm Mother.  I scribbled something for a last name and that we were going to the movies. A few pleasantries and we were out the door.

Once we were out the door he told me he had a car or we could just go for a walk since spring was beginning to pop out and the weather was beautiful.  I decided going for a walk might be better because long minutes of silence in a car would be more difficult than silence while walking.  He took my hand and we headed off in the direction of Stephens Lake.  From the moment he held my hand conversation was no longer a problem.  We talked about school, family, growing up and all those things you learn about with someone you have just met.

There were quite a few people at the lake, groups of Stephens girls out together for a Sunday afternoon and a few couples enjoying the day.  Usually there were canoes and row boats that you could use but it was too early in the season for those.  I think he was disappointed there were no boats and said I had on the perfect outfit for a ride in a boat.  I told him he was wrong, in the movies all the girls riding in boats with guys had on long flowing dresses.  His reply was that since I was dressed like the sailor he could ride and I could row. That made him laugh. Then he complimented the outfit and asked if he could always expect the unexpected with me.  I answered probably.

Thankfully he finally asked if I was hungry since he had skipped lunch.  I politely said yes not wanting to admit I was starving since I had pretty well not been able to eat since the arrival of the flowers.  We hiked back to town to one of the nicest restaurants, the kind with white table cloths and a host that seated you.  After ordering I decided it was time to ask two important questions. Perhaps I looked a little serious when I asked him if I could ask him a couple of questions.  He got all serious looking and said that I could always ask him anything. 

Getting prepared for perhaps a serious question he took a big drink of water just as I asked what his last name was.  I told him it was hard to sign out on the card in the dorm since I had to make up a last name. Oops...guess he could not laugh and swallow at the same time. Water sort of flew everywhere.  He asked what name I had used and I said I scribbled Smith or something but you really couldn't read it.  Actually I could have been very clever and written that I was going out with Barney Fife.  Everyone in the place looked at us as he was laughing so loud.  Zick.  Barney Zick.

After he regained his composure he said he was ready for the next question.  I told him the flowers caused a lot of commotion in the entire dorm.  They all wanted to know all about him and were taken back by the fact that we had not talked about going out the night we met.  There was not a question that I could answer except that his name was Barney.  It was suggested that I stand him up.  So why did you just assume I would be available at 3:00 on Sunday?  Hmm.......interesting look.   "I didn't have your phone number and I actually was afraid you would say no if I asked you for a date. I really wasn't sure you would come down the stairs at the dorm."  Wow, boys and girls, men and women must think somewhat the same at times.

After dinner Barney walked me back to the dorm.  When we got there he took both of my hands and asked if he could see me again.   Of course I wanted to see him again.. and again..and again so we made plans for the next day.  He said 3:00 and I said 3:30 plus I had a TV class at 7:00.  As he started to walk away I said "Hey, should I wear anything special?"  He asked "Like what?"   I shouted "How about a ballerina tutu?"  He just walked away shaking his head but I could tell the way his shoulders moved he was laughing again.

There are a lot of dates and names of guys written on my Stephens calendar that I have no memory of at all.  The memory of that first date with Barney has been ingrained in my little mind all the years.  Interesting that there was no kiss on that first date.

Interesting Second Semester

The second semester at Stephens brought about a lot of changes in class schedules for the better.  As a Television, Radio and Film major there were no more watching silent movies and a camera was thrust in my hands to make a twenty minute movie by the end of the semester. The Performance class had taught me how not to make the word dance pronounced with two syllables (Okie talk) and we were turned loose in the radio station. Best of all was no more drawing of sets and learning about cameras, directing and sound boards.  Time to get behind the cameras and do some television shows.

The 1964/65 school year was the opening of the new James Madison Wood Quadrangle.  This series of buildings brought together a variety of group and individual instructional requirements with the maximum use of visual and audio materials.  This was the location of the Helis Communication Center and the Patricia Barry Television Studio. These studios broad casted the College's audio and visual educational programming for the entire campus with state of the art equipment.

For the College to have a fully equipped television station sounds really silly with the technology we have today but back then it was astounding. A little history - in 1965 only 3.1% of all televisions were color sets and FM radio was not popular until the late 1950's.  For the College to have a studio with two color cameras and an FM radio station was cutting edge for that time.  Students produced a weekly television show each week with college news and entertainment plus the radio station was on the air each Saturday.  The "hands-on" experience with only about twenty or thirty girls in the department kept us all busy.

My thought about taking roller skating for physical education did not work out exactly as I had planned.  Did I actually think that bringing my own skates to school with the pink and white fur pom poms attached to the toes would make me look like I had never skated before?  The instructor looked at me the first day of class as I laced up my skates.  
The hard part was trying to stumble around like I had never had skates on before like the rest of the class. 

Back To The Fun Place

January 3, 1965 could not come fast enough after being home for Christmas vacation from college.  It was not what I had imagined it would be although, in my usual manner, I made the best of it.  Perhaps it was great training for the years ahead.

Since Mother was still in the hospital after some minor surgery Dad was responsible for getting me to the airport in Tulsa fifty miles away.  This was troubling for me as my very intelligent Dad was totally directionally impaired.  He was a man who could quote any chemical formula in an instant or tell you what high school football player would do great in college. (This is why he was pretty good at betting on college football games). But he could not find his way out of a paper bag. To make sure he got back to Muskogee my little brother skipped school and went along with us.

Checking in at the airport once again meant Dad had to pay the overweight charge on the luggage.  Not only did I have all the clothes I arrived home with but all the clothes I got for Christmas.  On the subject of clothes - Mother and I had completely different taste in apparel from the day I was old enough to realize people wore clothes. For Christmas I got the usual array of frilly items of some weird silky fabric.  They were clothes she would look like a million bucks in but that I felt like I had a clown costume on.  Oh well, I was sure someone in the dorm would put them to good use.

There was no room in the suitcases for my roller skates.  They would have added an extra five pounds to the luggage so I just tied the strings together and slung them over my shoulder.  If you are wondering why I had to take my roller skates to college it was pretty simple.  Physical education at Stephens consisted of things like golf, which I did poorly at, bowling, horseback riding, boating and canoeing, archery and many others, one of which was roller skating.  Something told me I could take roller skating, act like I could not skate at first and then get pretty good.  Sounded like an easy "A".  We will find out later how that worked out but maybe having my own skates was not such a good idea.

January at Stephens meant the first two weeks were to catch up on all the class work you didn't get done for the semester.  I can remember re-writing a paper on comparing Hawthorne's Heroines several times to pass American literature. To this day I would have a hard time writing that paper because "who cares!"  Then the last two weeks were Dead Week and finals.  I think all eight of us on the end the hall of the dorm were actually good students so it was pretty easy to get studying done. There were a couple of exceptions to serious study.

At Stephens, since we were all supposed to be proper ladies, there was room inspection every Friday.  The house Mother in the black dress and sturdy shoes would come by and check to make sure the room was neat and tidy and that there was no food in the room.  She always put a note on the door with a ranking on how the room looked.  Of course Cathie and I always got a Superior as I made sure the room was perfect before going to class on Friday.  One Friday during Dead Week Cathie yells at me about being so tidy. Guess we thought it would be fun to shred the room for inspection. Actually it was fun and when we arrived home there was a Poor rating stuck to the door.  Success.

The joy of being successful with a poor rating was short lived.   I got called down to the dorm Mother's office for a chat. Now you have to remember that she thought Cathie was a terrible influence on me and always inquired if I wanted to switch room mates. She didn't buy my story that we had overslept and just didn't have time to straighten the room up.  Guess the mattresses half off of the beds, the food wrappers on the floor and all the drawers hanging open with clothes spilling out didn't seem logical.  She thought Cathie had done all that after I had left for class. That seemed to be a pretty good explanation so I played like it was all Cathie's fault.  She felt sorry for me having to live with such a terrible person but I declined changing room mates because I felt it was my duty to help Cathie be a better person.  Gold star for me,
black one for Cathie. That was one of my better schemes to get us out of trouble.

Cathie the Innocent

Made through finals in good shape, parents were pleased. Second semester proved to be very interesting.  Looking at all my notes on the calendar classes and the sorority got much busier and I don't have many notes on dating.  Maybe the mysterious Mike person made me swear off of dating. Hard as Pam tried nothing could keep Cathie and I out of trouble.

Making The Best of a Not Merry Christmas

Funny how we look forward to something, imagine how much fun it is going to be and whip it up in our mind to be nothing short of spectacular.  When I did that it usually turned out to be a disaster.  Guess I learned pretty young that one needs a great amount of "spring back" to navigate through life.

Going home for Christmas after four months away at college still stands out as one of those events.  What I imagined as two and a half weeks of family, fun and Christmas spirit was quickly dashed the moment I got off the plane.  For some reason Mother was not prepared for the once again blonde haired daughter who arrived with luggage forty pounds overweight filled with clothes borrowed from friends. It was several days later that she began speaking to me.  Actually I didn't want to talk to her as she had sold my car.  

This was behavior I was quite used to since any minor little mistake, coming home from a date late, dating someone she didn't like, getting involved with cheer leading, plays or not agreeing with her on every thought she had resulted in the same silent treatment. Poor Dad was treated the same way.  We actually went on a vacation once when Mother did not speak to Dad for the entire two weeks we were gone. That was an interesting trip filled with the usual "Donna, would you tell your Father it it time to eat" or "Donna, would you tell your Father he is on the wrong road".  I did learn to read a map at an early age.  

I learned from Dad to simply live through the silence until I was on Mother's list of people who were worth talking to.  There was never a discussion on why she was not speaking to us and acted like everything was fine.  Placating her moods and whims was not good for either of us and was a behavior pattern I kept for far too many years.



I do remember a few things about those three and a half weeks of Christmas vacation. A guy, Dennis, I had dated my senior year came home for a few days.  He had been a student teacher at our high school and was off in New Mexico working.  Before I had left for college he was in the "marry me now or never" mode. He was older and more serious than I was and the idea of marriage was pretty far out of my realm.  I left for college which was my answer to his question.  When he came home that Christmas I got him to take me to see the Ice Capades in Tulsa.  That was fun. My answer to his question was the same as it had been in the fall.

My lifesaver was a boy who was a year younger than me that lived around the corner. Tom had been in the speech department at high school with me.  We started hanging out together and went to a dance or two, the movies and I got to counsel him on his girl problems.  He was extremely funny and I seem to remember that we laughed all the time. Besides he had to be home earlier than I so I stayed out of trouble in that respect with Mother. Guess Tom was not a threat to Mother's little world.

Tom at Honor Heights Park

One day we went out and took pictures of the "sights" in Muskogee so I could take them back to college and show them to my friends. On New Year's Eve we went to a dance at Meadowbrook Country Club where I had been a lifeguard the summer before.  Mother was in the hospital after having some surgery.  We stopped by the hospital before the dance.  Tom was wearing a huge black cape and carrying a briefcase in which we had put a bottle of champagne and some glasses to celebrate the evening with Mother.  Must have been as interesting sight. I think I was actually celebrating that in two days I would be on the plane headed back to college. Doing silly things with Tom saved that Christmas time at home.



This has been a very hard story to write.   I have spent the last six weeks trying to decide how to explain the patterns of behavior I developed growing up.  If I didn't then I really could not go on with my stories.  So many of our choices and decisions we make through our life come from patterns of behavior we learn at a very young age.  My term "spring back" that I used in the first part of this story gave me the ability to make the most of a bad decision or situation.  When things were not good or happy I have the ability to put them aside and spring back to a happier mode. I have also had the great good fortune of having friends and family I could depend on.

It gets really interesting from here on.  If you want to keep reading go back up to the top and hit the little subscribe box.  You will get put on the automatic mailing list.