Love Is More Than Just A Word

When Barney came outside and said he needed to talk to me after I had sort of forced him to answer a phone call he wanted to ignore I did not have a good feeling. I had been sitting on the steps for what seemed like hours but was only a few minutes.  My mind had been going through what was a near-death-experience where the last six weeks of our relationship was flashing by trying to give me some idea of what I had done wrong. Why did I think it was something bad instead of his grandmother calling to see how he was or a friend wanting to meet up for dinner?

In the six weeks since we met there had only been two days when I did not talk to him or spend time with him.  Nothing was ever said about old boyfriends or girlfriends or that either of us was seeing someone else. The word "love" had not been tossed around between us like people do in their high school years when they love everyone they date.
He didn't even kiss me goodnight until the third date and it was 1965 when nice girl's didn't hop into bed with everyone they dated.  So, just where did I stand since I was hopelessly in love with him.

I followed him inside and sat down on the sofa.  He pulled up a chair and sat in front of me and took both my hands in his and said he was glad I made him answer the phone.  That he had needed to talk to me since our first date but never could come up with a way to start the conversation.  Then he told me the story about Sarah.

He and Sarah had been dating steadily since they were sixteen.  She went to college in St. Louis and he came to Columbia and he had been going to see her every other weekend for the past two years. Last year she quit school, went to work and decided it was time for him to move to St. Louis and they could get married. He had gone to summer school and loaded up on classes each year so that he could graduate and then go after his MBA before he even thought about getting married. Their weekends had turned into arguments and he realized that they both wanted different things out of life and whatever they had in high school had disappeared.  He had taken a few girls out in Columbia but didn't find anyone special until I came along.

At this point I was going to say something but he stopped me and wanted to finish what he needed to tell me.  He apologized for lying to me the first weekend when he sent me the flowers and said he had gone home for the weekend but would pick me up on Sunday at 3:00.  
He actually had gone to St. Louis to see Sarah and it had been another bad weekend with her.  Ever since that first date the only thing he wanted to do was to be with me and that he had worried all the time I was gone for the spring vacation that I would not want to see him when I got back to Columbia. Sarah had been calling and demanding he come to St. Louis but breaking up with her on the phone just did not seem to be the right thing to do.   If I agreed he would go on Saturday to talk to her and end their relationship.

Now it was my time to talk although it was difficult to know what to say.  First of all I told him that I had thought at times there was something going on with him that he had not told me and maybe that was what made me get him to answer the phone.  He did not need my permission to talk to Sarah but that he needed to do what he felt the best about.  There is no easy way to end a relationship especially one as long as they had and in a way I felt sorry for her. He seemed surprised at that but I told him that ever since our first date I had had trouble thinking about anything but him and could not imagine being without him.  I told him I had never been so at ease with anyone, that I felt like I could talk about anything with him and actually be myself.  I asked him if he really thought I would walk away because there had been someone else?  He admitted that he had been worried. Luckily by the time we finish talking it was time for me to get to the dorm by curfew.  It could have been one of those times that it would have been difficult to stay in the "1965 good girl syndrome".

Monday at 4:00 was my hearing by the Hall Council to decide my punishment for the 23 late minutes a month before. I dashed into the dorm at five minutes before 4:00 from class to find Barney sitting in the dorm lobby.  When I asked what he was doing there he said he came to find out what my punishment would be since he was the one who caused the problem. I didn't think I would be kicked out of school but who really knew. When I came out of the hearing smiling he knew it couldn't be bad.  After both of us worrying for a month I ended up having to come in one hour early on the next Saturday night.  Maybe sometimes worrying does pay off.

The rest of the week was busy.  Pam and I decided to room together the next year so we had to go pick out our room in one of the Senior dorms, our on-campus sorority had elections of officers for the next year, I was the director of the Montage television show on Thursday night besides all the usual classes.  Barney and I saw each other everyday and on Friday night we went to see the movie The Americanization of Emily.  That was a real poor choice since it was about a couple who met, fell in love and then parted.  I cried my eyes out which is never a pretty sight. 
Poor Barney was at a total loss over the tears especially since he was going to St. Louis the next day.  It was hard to convince him I was just crying over the movie....or maybe just needed a good cry.

I was not looking forward to Saturday but it got brighter when I arrived back from morning classes.  There were red roses and a card with the magic word neither Barney nor I had spoken.

Back From Spring Break

                                                                  Hugh Downs


Well walking in the door of the airport after deplaning the DC-3 Barney picked me up and twirled me around before giving me a huge kiss. That was a lifetime of outstanding greetings in one minute.  After picking up my suitcase full of books we headed off to dinner since I was starving as usual. The plane had taken off from Tulsa, barely got in the air before we landed in Joplin and then a very short flight to Columbia.  I am not sure I could have eaten if they had brought out food and what do you expect for a flight that had cost $12.60.

Dinner was interesting. When I told him about sitting next to Rin Tin Tin on the plane he laughed and said being with me was like a new adventure everyday.  He asked me more about my family, my knowledge of auto mechanics and hanging out with my little brother. That was all stuff we had never talked about in the month or so we had been dating. Guess in his world he had never met a girl who could change spark plugs and converse about engine parts and still behave as an ordinary girl.  He told me a lot about his family and growing up.  It was a surprise to realize we had been sitting there for two hours and it was time for me to check in at the dorm.

Back in the dorm everyone was telling stories of their vacations with the usual giggling and laughing that always happened with our little group. Pam had a wonderful time in New York and Sally was full of wild beach party stories. It was certainly a happy time for me to be back at school and I was very glad I had spent the vacation reading two books for Masterpieces of World Lit and written an English paper since school and activities were about to get very busy.

On Friday Hugh Downs and his wife came for the dedication of the new Helis Communication Center which housed all the Drama, Television, Radio and Film departments. He was the host on the Today Show and the game show Concentration.  His first television job had been as the announcer on the Tonight Show with Jack Paar.  Hugh Downs' wife was a 1941 graduate of Stephens College and was Hugh's first boss at a radio station in Chicago which is why they were invited for the dedication.  It was quite amazing to sit in one of the studios with Hugh Downs and the twenty or so television production students for two hours for a very informal talk with us asking questions.

We talked about production and current programming.  I still remember him saying that you could only improve what was currently on television by turning it off and reading a book or going to the movies. You should not just leave the television set on when there was nothing to watch.  Also to boycott products that had poor or false advertising.  As far as women in television, radio and film production the only way to break in was to be excellent at every aspect but be prepared to go in on the lowest rung of the ladder being ready to jump on any opportunity to show them what you could do.  

I was impressed by how down to earth and friendly Hugh Downs was and also that he was much nicer looking in person than on television.  All the set drawings we had done were posted on the wall and he very carefully looked at each one and autographed them for us.  It was a very proud moment when he singled mine out for the camera and light positions.  Guess I was learning something.  

Can you imagine having a boating and canoeing physical education class at 8:00 in the morning on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday?  
Somehow Cathie and I had signed up for it and did not think until that first Saturday morning that we had to be nuts.  First of all we had to hike out to the lake at 7:30 AM and then the other bad part was getting into a boat with Cathie.  Her favorite part of the class were the lessons in what to do if the boat turned over.  I think she could have turned over a forty foot yacht without trying very hard. Forget about not getting your hair wet back in the days when it took rollers and slow hairdryers to not look like a drowned rat for the rest of the day.  Forget that there was not enough time to change out of wet shorts or slacks for your next two classes.  We both appeared for Psychology and English clad in trench coats over dripping clothes. Guess that was not so bad considering some of the girls came in trench coats over their pajamas. Tuesday and Thursday were not quite as bad since I didn't have a class until 10:00 and could look halfway decent and fully clothed by then.

Saturday afternoon after I had put my hair back to looking respectful Sally, Woody, Pam and Cathie decided to go out to the lake.  Barney thought that sounded like fun so we all piled in his car and headed out. That was a fun afternoon in that Barney found out what a crazy group I really did live with.  No way was I going to get in a boat with Cathie so Sally and Woody were the ones to get soaked.  I picked a row boat so that Barney had to row while Pam and I got to ride.  Great afternoon - the start of the summer sunburn and lots of laughter.


Sunday Barney decided to show me he really could cook so we went to the grocery store and then to his place.  He did just a pretty great job of making spaghetti and meatballs, salad and garlic bread all by himself. Add a bottle of wine and it was better than going out.  While we were eating the phone rang and I noticed a funny look on his face.  He just said no one should bother us during dinner and did not answer it.  While we were doing dishes the phone rang again.  I told him he should answer it and that I would go outside.  He gave me a kiss and as I headed out the door I heard him say hello.  It was not even a very happy hello and definitely not the happy sounding  "Hey" I always got on the phone.

I sat on the steps for what seemed like hours but was actually only a few minutes.  The look  on his face and his reluctance to answer the phone sort of told me he knew it was not a call he wanted to answer with me there. I never did like listening to one side of a conversation which is why I ducked out the door.  Normally I am a really optimistic person but for some reason a real sense of dread crept through me.

Barney finally came out the door, sat down and put his arm around me. Then he asked if I was alright and perhaps my answer of "sure" was not real positive. 

Barney then said, "Come inside, I need to talk to you."

Muskogee Bound, Ready or Not

Finally arriving home to Muskogee for Spring Break was needless to say a relief after the nine hour bus ride.  It was also nice to have the whole family, Mom, Dad and brother Kenny there to pick me up. For a few moments I even forgot that I didn't get to go to a beach somewhere or some exciting big city.  On the way home most of the conversation centered on the fact that Continental Trailways did not advertise the number of gentlemen being leisurely and drinking from paper bags outside of the bus stations.  Can you picture what an ad like that would have looked like?

I had promised myself that I would be on my best behavior during my week home and not cause any family problems.  I even bounded out of bed at 5:00 AM every morning when Mom came to dust mop my room, helped Kenny fold newspapers for his route before he went to school and joined Mom for a cup of black coffee, which I hated, before she went off to work. By 8:30 everyone was out of the house and I was left without transportation. It was pretty quiet compared to the dorm.

At 9:00 AM the phone rang and the operator said she had a long distance call for Donna from Barney and would I accept. Of course I would and then there was that now familiar "Hey".  He must have known about the bus characters as he wanted to make sure that I had made it home alright. I told him all about the trip especially the story about how Mom had suddenly become concerned over the fact that maybe bus trips were not the thing for her daughter.  We did not talk long due to the long distance charges but it was nice to hear his voice.  


It felt good to throw on a sweat shirt and a pair of jeans after having to get dressed up everyday. Exploring the house, yard and two garages everything was in it's usual immaculate order.  When you have a mother who dust mops the parquet floors every morning and washes the windows every Saturday morning plus a Father who wipes the car off with a chamois every night things tend to be in order. They were certainly an interesting pair.  Even though I can remember Mother telling me one time they were just like all parents the older I got the more I realized that was not the case.

When I made to promise to myself that I would not cause any family problems during my week at home it meant that I would have to be very careful about what I talked about.  Mom did not want to hear about anything concerning my college days except class work and school stuff.  She was not paying money for me to have fun with friends and certainly not to meet boys and go out on dates, not that she said that out loud.  I knew from previous experience that those conversations would throw me into the category of someone not worthy of being spoken to.  

It would have been so neat to be able to tell Mom about all the silly things that my friends and I did or how much fun it was just to have girl friends.  I imagined that some Mothers would have gotten huge laughs out of some of the horrible dates I had been on and would have wanted to know everything about someone special I had met.  Ever since I was fourteen or fifteen every conversation with her had to guarded and I learned it was best just to agree with her on everything and never tell her how you felt about anything.

So I spent the week studying and hanging around with my brother, Kenny. Kenny was two years younger than me and was always the perfect child.  I can't remember Mother ever getting mad at him so I was safe cruising the local hangouts with him at night.  Chet's was the local hot dog stand where most of the high school kids hung out, The Corral was the place for the local hot rodders with the white t-shirts and the longer hair and Russ's was where everyone drove through or parked to watch who was driving through - that was Muskogee on any given night.  Kenny had been building cars since he was twelve so he knew every hot rodder in town as we rode around in his 55' Chevy. Our back garage was usually filled with guys wanting car parts or advice so Kenny and friends were my only source of fun while I was home.

Dad had me take him to work on Friday so I could have his car to check on my summer job.  It was fun to go out to Meadowbrook County Club and see Bob, my boss.  I had been the lifeguard at the pool the summer before and he wanted me to come back the next year.  He was glad to see me and hear I would be back.  We had become friends the previous summer and he caught me up on all the gossip since it seemed like I was always the only person he had to talk to.  People are fascinating.

By the end of the weekend I was ready to go back to Columbia.  I had gotten to spend time with my older brother, Paul, wife Joan and my darling little nephew, Don.  Mom had asked if I wanted to go to Tulsa and shop for clothes which I declined saying that I did not need any.  
Now what girl turns down a chance to shop?  That was easy for me since I really didn't want to spend that time in the car with her fearing I would say the wrong thing plus in my eighteen years of shopping with her I never got to purchase what I wanted.

Monday everyone went back to work and school so I had the house to myself again.  Barney called at 9:00 AM as usual.  We had talked on the phone everyday and I had called him a couple of times after Mom and Dad went to bed.  He told me he had gone out to Stephens Lake on Sunday to read a book but had trouble reading because he missed me being there with him.  How come this guy keeps surprising me with statements like that?  This isn't the movies which is the only place guys say things like that.  I finally admitted to him that the days had really dragged by and I thought about him all the time.  He laughed and said good, that he was afraid I would be having too much fun to even think about him.

Well, that conversation made the day go by at a snails pace.  Mother came home with new travel plans for me to get back to school. If I flew from Tulsa to Kansas City it would be $42.00 plus I would still need to ride a bus the seventy miles to Columbia. ( Could not suggest that Barney would have come to Kansas City to get me.) So the plan was for me to fly from Tulsa to Columbia on Ozark Airlines and it would only cost $12.60 and I could get a cab from the airport to Stephens. That sounded like an excellent plan as I did not really want to go through another nine hour bus trip.

Cathie called on Tuesday and said she was ready to get back to school.  None of her friends in Midland were on Spring Break either so she had been hanging out at home too.  Maybe my family was not the only one that was difficult to deal with or maybe we were just beginning to enjoy being more on our own.

Kenny skipped school and took me to Tulsa on Wednesday to fly back to Columbia.  I think my Dad was almost in tears when Kenny and I stopped by the drugstore to say goodbye.  He gave me some money to buy clothes in Columbia since he knew why I did not want to go to Tulsa with Mom.  I know he missed having me around more than anyone.

For some reason I never got on an airplane and sat next to a normal type person.  If there was a character of some type on the plane - that is who sat next to me.  This time I got to sit next to a German Shepard.
There was a blind woman and her little girl across the aisle that needed to sit together so I got the dog.  He wasn't much for conversation but at least I got the window seat.  The airport in Columbia was pretty small and as we came in for a landing I could see the Barneymobile in the parking lot.  I wanted to kiss Rin Tin Tin goodbye and tell him how happy I was to be back but I didn't think he would understand.

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ He seemed to know more about the bus characters than I did and was concerned.  He had no plans for the week except to hang out and get some studying done.  

Learning New Things About Someone

I am not very good at asking questions.  Maybe that is something I learned growing up as the usual answer I got was "no" when I asked to go somewhere or do something.  Barney had asked me to study together on a Sunday afternoon and it had never dawned on me to ask where was the studying going to take place.  Of course I had said great but were we going to a library or the lake as it made a difference in what I was going to take to study. I also had not ever asked if he lived in a dorm, a house or an apartment.

He arrived at 1:00 to find me sitting outside the dorm armed with a variety of assignments I had to get done by Tuesday.  When we got in his car he said that I had already broken two of the three cardinal rules of Stephens by drinking and being out of the county at night, how did I feel about breaking the third rule?  What the heck, I might as well go for three out of three.   There was some apprehension in going off to his living quarters, as Stephens called them, since I had only known him for a week and a half.  

As we drove across town he told me he had lived in the dorm his first year at Mizzou and didn't like it very much. He looked for an apartment but found that they were expensive and noisy with all the other college students.  So he bought a house trailer from a graduating student.  That way he had his own place to live and study plus selling it when he graduated would pay for his living expenses.   Maybe only 4.0 Eagle Scout students think of things like that.

I have to admit that was the first house trailer I had ever been in and it was pretty neat.  As he showed me around I noticed lots of books, no television, no pictures of past girl friends and yes, I did look in the refrigerator to see that he did not cook much.  There was also no dust on the baseboards so he got an A for housekeeping. I think he got a big kick out of it when I only peeked at the bedroom for a second and then dashed back to the living area.  While laughing he acted liked he had just suddenly remembered that he had invited me over to study.  Then it was down to the business of studying.

He had a paper to type and I had some set drawings to do for the television class or a book to read for Masterpieces of World Literature. I chose not to read the book since it was Wuthering Heights and I knew I would be a crying mess reading it.  So I got the kitchen table for the big drawings and he put his typewriter on the coffee table.  The paper he was typing was on Economics and all he had to work from was a one page neatly typed outline, the kind every English teacher tries to teach students to do.  I must say I was quite impressed with the speed of the typewriter keys. Scratch the thought of ever getting into a typing contest with him.

I guess we worked about a couple of hours with a little conversation every once in awhile when all of a sudden while the typing was going on I heard him singing "Oklahoma where the wind comes sweeping down the plain and the waving wheat can sure smell sweet when the wind comes right behind the rain."  I literally cracked up.  He smiled and went right on typing.  It took me awhile to come back at him when I suddenly remembered that he was from Kansas City.  That was easy so I sang "Goinin' to Kansas City, Kansas City here I come.  They got some pretty little  girls there and you'd better not get one."  That got him and he even had to stop typing because of laughter.  He told me that was not actually the words and I told him my words were better than the original ones.

In a couple of more hours he had a twenty page essay done complete with footnotes and no typing errors  and I had two set drawings done for a show similar to the Today show.  His friends, Mike and Christine, that had gone to Jefferson City with us came by and asked if we wanted to meet them for dinner in town.  Even though Mike kept referring to me as Cinderella I thought it would be fun especially since I was starving.

After dinner Barney, even though it was getting to be time for me to check in the dorm, he drove out by the football field and parked.  Barney laughed and said he didn't like to tell lies and by parking at the stadium some of his story to keep me out of trouble was now true.  Then he went on to say that he had seen me around Columbia several times during the year and I was always laughing and looked like I was having fun.  That was why he decided to ask me out and that I was the first thing he thought about every morning and the last thing at night.  
I was speechless as he gave me a quick kiss, started the car and told me he had to get me home before I turned into a pumpkin.  As I snuggled up against him I told him that I would not turn into a pumpkin his car would. Not only did he need to study up on fairy tales he need to drive better while laughing.

It was only two days until we were out of school for Spring Break and both days were incredibly busy for me with classes and sorority stuff.  
Barney had class on Monday night so we managed to meet for lunch each day.  It seemed like everyone was flying out on Wednesday to some place fun, Pam to New York City to visit with some of her Dad's family and Sally would be off to spend the week on the beach in Panama City, Florida.  Several girls were going to Hawaii with a girl from there.  Guess my parents had watched enough Beach Party movies to rationalize that I just needed to come home for the week.

                           No chance I could be like Gidget this year

My parents decided that it was too expensive for me to fly home and then have to be picked up in Tulsa so I got to make the 350 mile trip via Continental Trailways.  Barney took me to the bus station along with my suitcase packed with books thus time instead of too many clothes. He promised to call and pick me up the following week. He did not seem any happier to see me leave than I was in going.  The nine hour bus ride stopped being interesting by the time we got to Joplin.  I know the bus stopped at every town with a population of more than fifty people.  The parents were not too pleased that the bus arrived at 11:30 PM which was way past their bedtime.  I think the man who was drinking something out of a paper bag by the door of the bus station may have given her second thoughts about further bus ride trips for me.


Maybe Spring Break starting off a little bad would make the rest of the week better. One can hope.

Bad Days Can Become Good Ones

Did you ever wake up in the morning with a warm glow and snuggle into your pillow remembering how much fun you had the night before?  
For awhile all your thoughts are filled with the dinner, dancing and that first kiss from someone you are beginning to really care about.  Then bam - you realize that everything is a blur after that kiss and you had to ring the doorbell for the dorm mother to let you in.  What was the story your date told the dorm mother for why you were 23 minutes late?  Panic sets in as you wonder if you are going to be expelled from school.

Maybe having to go to Psychology and English class that Saturday morning was a good thing. At least in class there were moments I could listen and not think about an impending disaster.  Walking back to the dorm after class I would tell myself I would call Barney so he could answer some questions then tell myself no, nice girls didn't call boys even in life or death matters.  There was the thought that I would never hear from him again.  It was difficult to even put one foot in front of the other.

Arriving back at the dorm I was met by Mrs. Wells holding flowers.  She was smiling which was a good sign.  She said she imagined the flowers were from my nice young man and that she had signed me in as 23 minutes late.  At some time in the future I would have to go before the dorm council for disciplinary action for my being late.  So I took that as a sign I did not have to go upstairs and pack my suitcases. 

The flowers were 23 yellow daisies with a card that said "Sorry".  How did he know daisies were my favorite?  As I am smiling at the flowers hoping that the "Sorry" meant just that and not "Sorry" I don't want to see you again the phone rang in the hall.  Since everyone else was still in class or off eating lunch I answered it.  Interesting how when I answered the phone and a voice said "Hey - how are you" in a concerned manner and I knew it was him.  The only other question was what was I doing.  Actually I was starving since breakfast would have not gone down well earlier but I just answered that I had just gotten back from class and thanked him for the flowers.  He said he would pick me up in ten minutes.  Yippee!

The best course of action was to meet him in front of the dorm to avoid running into Mrs. Wells again until I knew what story he had whipped up for my being late.  There are a lot of little moments we forget as the years go by but I have never forgotten watching him walk up the sidewalk to meet me.  I think I knew then that being with him felt different and special.  He asked if I was hungry which I was thankful for.  Off we went in that car of his, this time at a reasonable speed, headed for Stephens Lake.  Interesting as there was no food at the lake.

When we got to the lake he opened the truck and pulled out a picnic lunch.  It did not matter that it was peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, chips, store bought cookies and lemonade.  It was just unbelievably cute of him.  We spent the afternoon talking and laughing.  He was as worried about my being late as I was.  The story he came up with was that we parked out by the football stadium, a good mile or more from the dorm, and the car would not start.  We had to walk back to the dorm which took us a long time.  Somehow I found that to be an exceptionally funny story since he had never kissed me until we arrived back at the dorm that night.  Funny also because even though what ever people do in parked cars was not a forbidden thing at Stephens it was certainly not one girls confessed to.  I told him I wasn't sure a ruined reputation was better than being kicked out of school. 

I had to get back to the dorm by 6:00 as I had made plans with Pam to have dinner and see a movie since he had not filled in my dance card for that night.  He seemed disappointed and I have to admit I was too.  With Spring Break starting the next Wednesday we both had lots of class assignments to get done so he suggested we study together the next day.  Sounded good to me.

The evening with Pam was fun as all the times with her were.  I have to admit that when we met the first day at Stephens I was a little in awe and felt a lot like the country bumpkin as she had grown up in the L.A. area.  She was poised, confident and intelligent but to know her is to love her as she is as good of a person as you can find.  She did her best to keep the rest of us out of trouble and was always there to talk, or help and always the first to laugh at some of the silly antics that went on.

Saturday nights in the dorm were always hilarious.  Cathie would come in from a date with one wild story after the other be it flying all over town on the back of a motorcycle or how she ditched some guy who wouldn't leave her alone.  Erin never had anything good to say about dates she had which is interesting as I think she went out with everyone in Columbia and finally had to resort to soldiers from Fort Leonard Wood.  Sally never had a serious thought in her head and Woodie was totally lost in a fog.  Laughter was the best way to end a day.

Stephens College in the 64-65 school year was going through a transition from what had been a two year "finishing school" for young ladies to a full four year college.  Confusing as it sounds now freshmen were called juniors, sophomores were seniors and then the first of the third year students were called upperclassmen.  There was no Student Union where you could eat and hang out but a couple of Tearooms on the campus.

Many of the old traditional rules were still in place that were much different from the University of Missouri.  Sororities were local on campus, Vespers, which was a religious service, was required on Wednesday nights and there were many other functions that required your attendance. The important rules were no drinking, no being in men's living quarters and the requirement to be within the county limits during the day and the city limits at night.  The dorms were locked at 10:00 Sunday through Thursday and at 12:00 on Friday and Saturday.  Being late caused you to have to ring the doorbell and face the wrath of the dorm mother you kept up late.  All these were important things to remember.

The day after the skateboarding event I met Barney, class schedule in hand, at one of the tearooms for lunch. It was easy to put on pounds eating Stephens food either in the dining hall or the tearooms.  They made all their own bread and ice cream which was to die for.  Over meatloaf sandwiches Barney and I came to a schedule for the week which now seems very funny.  After two dates I felt like I was filling out a dance card with his name in little slots.  Thursday night would be my choice of what to do (perhaps a dangerous idea on his part) and Friday night he had planned a date and the only thing I knew about it was that I was to dress up. I guessed that would be the little basic black dress, heels and a single strand of pearls.


Picking something to do on Thursday night was pretty easy. Not giving a thought that most guys hate musicals I picked going to the movies to see Mary Poppins. There was a slight eye-roll from Barney when I announced where I wanted to go but he was the one that decided the evening was my choice.  There was the fleeting thought that perhaps making a guy I was really trying to impress go see Mary Poppins was not the best plan. After a stop for ice cream on the way home he was looking a little serious but a few songs and dance steps from me got him laughing. When we arrived at the dorm he told me he really had fun and was looking forward to the next night.  Relief - I hadn't blown it yet.

Must say when he came to pick me up on Friday night we made a pretty good looking couple.  I, in my basic black and he in a suit and tie. The dorm mother looked like she had just fallen in love herself. On the way to his car he said we were double dating with friends of his but wouldn't tell me where we were going. Now what college student drives a 1964 Pontiac Booneville?  No wonder we were walking everywhere.  It took up two parking spaces and there was enough room in the front seat for six people. It seemed a little lonely sitting by the passenger door until he said "Hey" and pointed to the seat right next to him.  I gladly moved over so that I did not have to shout to talk to him.  

1964 Pontiac Booneville

Off we went and I noticed the city limit sign as we sped by, then the county limit sign. It wasn't that I hadn't broken any Stephens rules before it just was difficult to ask where we were going as my stomach began to sort of roll around.  I had the feeling he was determined to keep the location of our date a secret so I didn't ask and tried to not show terror in my voice as we drove down the highway further and further from Columbia.

Finally we arrived at the destination which ended up being an elegant  hotel in the Missouri capitol of Jefferson City.  It was a little difficult to behave in a normal manner upon arriving at a hotel.  What was the guy I hardly knew thinking and how do I get out of this one?  You cannot imagine my relief when we entered the huge dining room with an orchestra playing and people dining and dancing.  For an eighteen year old girl from Muskogee, Oklahoma this was just like in the movies and I felt like Cinderella.

All thoughts of breaking a Stephens rule that could put me on a plane home the next morning disappeared from my head during dinner.  The other couple was fun and Barney turned out to be a very good dancer.
Gliding across the floor I was having the time of my life until I happened to glance at his watch.  Did it really say 11:40?  Like Cinderella my witching hour was 12:00 and we were thirty-five miles from Columbia. There is no quick way to exit a restaurant and get a car from valet parking.  It seemed like forever before we actually got on the highway.

That was the first time I was ever in a car going 100 miles an hour.  The speed did not terrify me at all but the thought of what was going to happen when I had to ring the dorm doorbell and face Mrs. Wells certainly did.  Then there was the problem of concocting a logical story about why I was late without anyone finding out that we had been a long way out of the city limits.  By the time we did get back to the dorm I was beyond thinking or speaking.  Barney parked the car in the middle of the street, grabbed my hand to pull me out of the car and we headed for the door.

He kept telling me everything would be alright and how sorry he was.
When we got to the door before I rang the bell he kissed me and said "Let me do the talking".  He told Mrs. Wells something about someplace we had gone and the car would not start and we had to walk back to the dorm.  She was just happy to see him and would have believed anything he told her.

So far, so good.

Mabel Wells, Dorm Mother

I Should Have Known Inquiring Minds Had To Know

                                 The Date Approval Council plus Cathie's Marty Mo

Going in the dorm after the first date with Barney I was met by Mrs. Wells, the dorm mother.  Thinking it was something I had done wrong I was surprised when she had a discussion with me about what a charming young man Barney was. It never ceased to amaze me how closely she watched all of us.  That had it's good and bad points.

Arrival back to my room brought on all the questions I could not answer before the date.  There were a lot of inquiring minds especially as they were hanging out the window as we walked away from the dorm.  Yes, he was very nice, a junior/senior at Mizzou carrying twenty-two hours working on a business degree, he was from Kansas City and we had another date the next day. 

Actually I was glad when all the girls went to bed and stopped asking questions.  Needless to say I was a little behind in the homework department since the weekend had not been very productive for studying.  Trying to do it that evening was just about as difficult.  One of those times when the brain goes on a rewind of the afternoon.  Anyone remember the times when one moment you have a sort of warm and fuzzy feeling that this was someone really special - the next moment you just know he will never show up again? Did I really tell him I would show up in a ballerina tutu?  Is my crazy room mate really rubbing off on me that badly?

Monday morning came too fast to get all the classwork done and I was really wondering why I had agreed to a date with Barney that afternoon. There was a book I had to read by Wednesday and a lot of extra TV and radio studio time I needed to put in.  Since I had not bothered to ask for his phone number I was stuck but somehow I doubt that I would have cancelled the date.  Cancelling would have been the logical thing to do and there were not a lot of logical thoughts floating through the brain.

                                        Sally and Cathie

I got back to the dorm a little after 3:00 and ran upstairs to drop off books.  Cathie and Sally had borrowed a skateboard from the only girl on our floor that had one and headed downstairs. For those of you who did not know there were skateboards back in the 50's and 60's, there were.  They were a lot different than later models in that they were only about eighteen inches long and six or seven inches wide with small metal or wooden wheels. It was more difficult to place feet on them and the wheels did not roll over bumps in the sidewalk very well.  By the time I got downstairs Sally and Cathie had introduced themselves to Barney who was early as usual.  It began to look like a set up deal for them to meet him.

It was very easy to lose control of any situation when Cathie was involved and adding Sally in made it truly difficult.  Whatever the plans had been for the afternoon were suddenly changed by my two wacky friends. The four of us ended up skateboarding all over the campus.  Well, let's say attempting to skateboard.  It had to be quite a sight.  Sally was balance challenged and could trip over anything. She spent most of the time in some hilarious position before crashing to the ground.  I managed to do pretty well but Cathie was the champ. She would go as fast as she could waving her arms and singing. When she crashed it was pretty spectacular as all three of us ran after her in laughter.

Poor Barney could not even get his big feet on the tiny skateboard.  As a last resort Cathie got him to try to just stand on one foot which was a total disaster.  Don't think he wanted to try the art of skateboarding after one crash that resulted in a definite limp for the rest of the afternoon.  That was when he suggested we go have pizza so he wasn't forced to try any more new tricks.  

It was difficult to actually eat pizza for all the laughter.  Between Cathie and Sally who always brought out all the silliest in me it was a good thing we were not asked to leave the restaurant. I had a class that evening so Barney and I walked back to the dorm.  He wanted to know if all my friends were crazy and I answered that they actually pretty much were.  It was like one of those questions that made you wonder if he really wanted to hang out with a group of idiots especially when the conversation turned to the amount of studying we both had to do.  The fear crept over me that the next thing coming was perhaps he was to busy to see me.

Arriving back at the dorm he said that he could not remember laughing so hard and that he knew he would never know what to expect next from me.  There was a moment when it felt like the big brush off was coming as he talked about how much studying he had to do but then he asked me to make out my schedule of classes for him and meet him for lunch the next day. That had to be a positive thing or he just wanted to know when to hide in Columbia so he didn't run into me or my nutty friends.

Later that night after class Cathie gave her approval of Barney but said I had better work on teaching him how to play.  For the first time in three days I was able to open a book and remember what I had just read.  Back to studying since we had a special guest coming the next week for the dedication of the new performance learning center which meant more hours in the TV studio plus it was nearing the end of the third semester.

It was interesting that Cathie came to the conclusion that Barney did not know how to play. She was the absolute queen of playtime so I figured she should know.  Can I really teach a twenty year old, 4.0 Eagle Scout how to play?

Probably.

Cathie