The End of the Semester

The last three weeks at Stephens were busy trying to catch up on all the classroom assignments and finals.  Trucks and boxes lined the halls of the dorms so everything could be packed and shipped as most of the girls would be flying home. It seemed like there were more instructions than one had time to read.  Lucky me didn't have to worry about packing too much as Dad was coming to pick me up and the only worry was that he could find his way to Columbia.

The University of Missouri had it's last big fling the second weekend of May.  It was a huge street dance with a couple of bands and everyone from the whole area, students or not, always attended. Barney picked me up about 6:00 so we could find a place to park in close proximity. He had a picnic dinner and a 24 can case of pony cans of Colt 45 Malt Liquor to pass out to friends who wanted some.  

Now I have to say here that I was not much of a drinker and neither was Barney. For one reason any drinking could get girls sent home from Stephens if they got caught and those were the days when "nice" girls did not drink. I was also one of those who got very sick after two or three glasses of wine which was not a pretty sight.  But...there was something about the Colt 45 that tasted pretty good.

I woke up about 6:00 the next morning feeling fantastic.  As I thought about all the fun I had it suddenly dawned on me that I did not remember anything beyond about 10:00 and we did not have to be in that night until 1:00.  Ever have one of those moments of sheer terror?
As hard as I tried there was no way anything came to mind until I did remember laying on the floor of my room and everyone laughing at me.
The panic was setting in so I called Barney and woke him up with the question of what did I do last night?

He started laughing and asked what I remembered. When I told him nothing past 10:00 he told me he never heard so many jokes from someone in his life.  Me?  I never tell jokes because I don't remembered them. Guess I did that night and then he said he never saw a funnier drunk that I had danced my feet off but the funniest was when I managed to sing with his friend's band. He wondered how I managed to sing all the words to the song as much beer I had to drink.  How much I did drink came pretty close to all but one can in the case.

He asked how I did signing in at the dorm?   Cathie and some other girls were at the dance and did work for an hour to try to sober me up. Barney and I sat on the bench outside the dorm waiting for Cathie to come up to escort me in. Cathie filled in the rest of the story.  She said I managed to get in the dorm and she pulled out my card from the box for me so I could sign in.  Mrs. Wells was standing right there as she usually did and noticed I signed in upside down. Cathie said I told her I had lost my glasses and couldn't see a thing. Mrs. Wells expressed her concern about my lost glasses I am sure she never saw me wear.  How I managed to not get caught drinking that night I will never know.

All my finals went very well thanks to Barney.  It was easy to study together since he was Mr 4.0.  Hours could go by and we didn't say a word to each other which was much better than trying to study with Cathie, Sally or Erin.  They managed to create endless laughter all the time.  Somehow Cathie and I both made A's in boating since we were the best at righting the boats and getting back in no doubt due to all the practice Cathie created for us.

Dad did manage to arrive in Columbia without much trouble.  Maybe he just drove thru the same town three times in a row when Mother was in the car with him.  He, Barney and I went out for dinner the last night to the nicest restaurant in town. Dad and Barney got along very well and I was beginning to learn that my Dad was a lot different when Mother was not around. 

Back at the dorm there was one last thing to do before I went home.  There was this ceremony that took place after everyone was in the dorm for the night.  If any girl got dropped (a fraternity necklace), pinned with a fraternity pin or engaged (a ring)  everyone stood in a circle and passed a candle around until the lucky girl blew it out.  The candle would go around once for dropped, twice for pinned and three times for engaged before it was blown out.  Most of us hated the whole ordeal.

The very last night on campus I borrowed a diamond ring from one of the girls and told Mrs. Wells that Barney and I were engaged. I don't know how the ten or twelve girls who knew this was a joke kept from cracking up. It was hard for me to keep a straight face as the candle went around three times. When I blew it out everyone screamed and hugged and all that dumb stuff while the ones in on the secret got a huge laugh. Luckily Barney was in on the joke because when he arrived the next morning to help me move out of the dorm Mrs. Wells could not congratulate him enough.

The next morning the halls of the dorm were filled with girls running around saying bye to each other and getting ready to fly home or waiting for parents to pick them up.  Barney arrived early and by the time Dad arrived we had most of my belongings down all four flights of stairs.  When we had a few minutes together Barney said he thought about buying me a present but could not think of something really special to get.  He handed me his high school letter he had received playing football and said he would love me as long as I kept it. There could not have been a special gift and one that I still have today.

Leaving Stephens for the summer did not seem to be all that sad as everyone was returning in the fall and the "Big Eight" as we called ourselves would all be back together.  Barney was going to summer school and promised to write, call and come visit.  Three months were going to fly by.

Little did I know that I was heading home for the worst summer of my life.

Fun Before Finals

                                                                    The Party
                                                   
The first weekend in May at Stephens was called Red Carpet Weekend. They had Parent's Weekend and Boyfriend's Weekend in the fall and this was the last big weekend of events before the final three weeks of school. Where the name Red Carpet came from I never knew but it was fun. The whole weekend was going to be a nice diversion from the thought that my deposit was due on Monday for my room the following year.  Naturally I had heard nothing from my parents.

Friday night the music and drama department did an outstanding production of My Fair Lady.  Musicals had always been my favorite and it was not difficult to talk Barney into going.  I was sitting there enjoying the play when during the song  "I've Grown Accustomed To Her Face" Barney handed me a folded up piece of paper. I unfolded it and it was a check from him made out to Stephens in the amount of the room deposit.  I must have said "What" rather loudly as several people stared at us.  Barney just smiled, told me to be quiet and watch the play. Leave it up to him to hand the check to me during a pretty cool song.

After the play Barney told me that I should check with the Financial Office on Monday and if they had not received the deposit from my parents to give them the check.  If my parents did send the money to just tear the check up.  When I asked him why he just smiled and said why not?  My brilliant response was "Why?" He asked if I wanted to come back the next year?  I told him boy friends didn't do things like that and he just replied "This one does".  He could render me speechless very easily which was rather hard to do most of the time.

                                                                    Cathie

Saturday was an open house in the dorm which meant boyfriends could come in and see more than just the lobby.  The night before Cathie had gotten "pinned" by her guy, Marty, so written in lipstick on the mirror was her big announcement.  That is the cutest picture I have of dear Cathie in her usual dorm attire. She was so excited that she actually helped clean up the room before Marty and Barney arrived. She did, by the way, put on some clothes.

After the open house there was a picnic at the lake for the whole school and friends.  That evening there was a dance with music provided by Woody Herman and His Orchestra.  One always had to remember that Stephens not only wanted to educate girls but to teach them to be ladies at the same time.  A rock and roll band would not have been on  their radar at that time.  Dancing the evening away to Woody Herman all dressed up was really more fun than one might have thought especially when it was obvious to everyone that my date was quite the ballroom dancer.

My dear Mother called on Sunday afternoon to announce that they had sent a check in for my room deposit.  Nothing like making me sick with worry before she agreed to it.  She had actually called my advisor and Mrs. Wells, the dorm mother, to see how I was doing in classes and behaving otherwise.  At least she had talked to the right people.  Mr Wheeler, my advisor, told her I was an excellent student and only missed one day of classes all year. Mrs. Wells thought I could do no wrong and informed her that she had been pleased to hear I was rooming with Pam the following year. Thankfully Mrs. Wells had not said anything about the nice young man I was dating or that would have been the end of it.  It is interesting how you can feel grown up one minute and be reduced to feeling like you are twelve years old the next.

The other big event of the week on the calendar for the eight of us at the end of the hall was Woody's Birthday.  Poor shy Woody had put up with her room mate teasing her endlessly all year, had managed to stay true to her BBH as we called the boy back home and actually it never seemed like she was having fun. Who knows who got the idea for the surprise birthday party but it was something Cathie and Woody's room mate, Sally, would have thought of. Barney agreed to host the party at his place.

Barney and I went out and got everything to bake a cake and Cathie and I baked it in the kitchen of the dorm.  After dinner in the dining hall where everyone sang to Woody we blindfolded her and Barney put her in the trunk of his car.  The rest of us piled into his car and went off to his trailer for the party.  I don't know if Woody cried because she was so happy and surprised at the birthday or just thankful to be out of the trunk.  Everyone enjoyed cake and ice cream and the several bottles of wine.

Woody and Paula

 There were only three weeks of college left.  The school events and meetings slowed down while the amount of study time increased.  
While everyone else was looking forward to the summer break I was trying not to think about it. I could only hope that the days would pass quickly and everyone would keep in touch over the summer like they said they would.  

But a lot can happen in those final three weeks of school.

Sometimes Things Do Work Out

It was an extremely long Saturday the day Barney drove to St. Louis to talk to Sarah.  Having classes all morning kept half of my mind occupied, there was always homework to do and staying surrounded by all my friends all helped.  Receiving flowers from Barney with a card with the word "love" written on it got me through some really anxious moments.

Perhaps the worst part was the empathy I felt for both Barney and Sarah.  How do you tell someone you have been in a long term relationship with that all of a sudden you don't love them anymore?  Do you tell them someone else came along who you now love more than them?  Do you throw up a list of every negative thing that you feel has occurred in the relationship? Or how do you feel when you hear those words?  The old saying "Sticks and stones can hurt my bones but words can never harm me" is totally backwards and stupid.  You can heal from wounds inflected by sticks and stones.  Words never go away they just float through your mind forever. 

Sunday morning the phone in the hall rang at 9:00 AM and I was the closest one to it that was awake, as I had been most of the night, to answer it.  I was a little surprised but very happy to hear the familiar "Hey".  I asked him if he was alright and he said yes and that he had gotten back to Columbia about 8:00 the night before but just needed some time alone.  He asked if I had homework to do like he did and it would be more fun if we did it together.  I, of course had lots to do, so I jumped at the chance to be with him.  He said he would pick me up at 11:00, we'd have lunch and then study away the afternoon. 

It seemed like Sunday mornings were the times when Mother always picked to call me. Thank heavens it did not happen too often as most of the calls were not very positive. Real nice of her to pick this Sunday morning to call with the worst of the worst ones. She said they had received a letter from Stephens to let them know it was necessary for the school to know who was returning for the next year and that I had filled out forms indicating I would be returning.  Although she acted like it was a huge surprise I had talked with her during the spring break about coming back the next year and how Pam and I were planning on rooming together. At that time she was all pleased about it but now she was not sure they wanted to send in the deposit to hold my place.  The deposit needed to be sent by the first of May which was two weeks away and we ended the phone call with her perhaps still thinking about it.  Why did she do this to me on this day of all days?  The only thing I could do was to hide my anger, disappointment and a few tears and go on.

It was a very happy sight to see Barney in the lobby visiting with his biggest fan, Mrs. Wells.  She was very pleased to see me with an arm load of books  and wished us both happy studies as we went out the door. We went off to a little restaurant and ended up with a late breakfast instead of lunch.  I chatted away, told him I loved the flowers and remembered to wish him a happy Easter.  About halfway through breakfast he looked at me rather strangely and asked why I hadn't said anything about his trip to St Louis.  I told him I did not think it would be nice or fair of me to quiz him on their conversation.  That I knew it was a difficult thing for him to do and even a harder thing for Sarah to hear and that it was up to him as to what he wanted me to know.  There was silence for a few minutes and then he said "That is why I love you so much".

At Barney's we curled up on the sofa together and while he read some book on Economics and I read Edmond Rostand"s drama Cyrano de Bergerac. It was good thing we were both pretty serious about how much studying we had to do.  The phone rang once and he said he knew she was not going to give up easily.  I told him if he needed to talk to her when I was there I would go outside for a walk as long as it wasn't raining.  That got a good laugh and a repeat of the I love you from him. I told him I loved him more which I think surprised him.  A quick kiss and back to the books.  It was a great afternoon after a pretty terrible couple of days.

There were a lot of activities I was involved in that seemed to escalate during the last couple of weeks in April.  All the television/radio classes seemed to have evening shows, I was elected President of the local sorority I was in for the following year and I got involved in decorations for the ball the end of the month.  The funniest thing was being chosen to be on the Hall Council for the dorm Pam and I were going to live in. It was funny because then I would have a say in giving punishment for hall infractions like coming in late.  Cathie and I spent one afternoon rolling down the hills of Columbia in a huge tire she talked a guy out of. 
Somehow there was never a dull moment with Cathie and we did manage not to get arrested or killed. I still wonder what that poor innocent family thought when they arrived home one evening to find their front door blocked by a huge tire.

Barney was as busy as I was but we did manage to see each other every day even if it was for a short time.  Since the trip to St. Louis he seemed a lot more at ease when we were together especially on the weekends.  One night we went bowling with Cathie and her friend Marty. That was an experience as none of us could figure out how she could look like the bowling bowl should go forward but would end up rolling back behind her or how she managed to get it into the lane next to us.  Needless to say no one bowled very well that night due to the laughter.

I had talked to Mother a couple of times with no answer on the school deposit.  Calling Dad only got the reply "You know how your Mother is".
One night close to the deadline for the deposit to be in Barney and I were at one of the clubs listening to the band and dancing.  Out of the clear blue I just started crying.  The only time Barney had ever seen me cry was over a movie so he took me outside to see what was the matter.  I had never intended to tell him about my relationship with my mother as it was so confusing I didn't understand it.  

There were few, if any, friends I had ever told about my mother.  Not only was it confusing but also embarrassing since all my friends had mothers they could talk to, have fun going shopping with and confide in.  Outwardly every one who met her thought she was beautiful, intelligent and that we had this wonderful relationship.  In private nothing I ever did was right or good enough, she did not really like any of my friends or any boy I ever dated.  It was her idea that I should go to Stephens when I wanted to go to a college where my friends were going.  Now that I was doing well, happy and having fun she wanted to take that all away.

Sitting in Barney's car I felt like it sounded as if I was some spoiled, emotionally unstable child. Not quite the way I wanted him to view me as it was a story that was pretty difficult to believe.  He listened to the story until I ran out of tears without saying anything.  Then he said I needed to realize that no family was perfect and what you saw in public was perhaps not the way it really was in private.  Did I ever stop to think that because of the way she treated me perhaps it was the reason I was the fun, caring, compassionate and goal-orientated person he was in love with?

When he kissed me goodnight at the dorm he told me to stop worrying that everything would work out . 

Love Is More Than Just A Word

When Barney came outside and said he needed to talk to me after I had sort of forced him to answer a phone call he wanted to ignore I did not have a good feeling. I had been sitting on the steps for what seemed like hours but was only a few minutes.  My mind had been going through what was a near-death-experience where the last six weeks of our relationship was flashing by trying to give me some idea of what I had done wrong. Why did I think it was something bad instead of his grandmother calling to see how he was or a friend wanting to meet up for dinner?

In the six weeks since we met there had only been two days when I did not talk to him or spend time with him.  Nothing was ever said about old boyfriends or girlfriends or that either of us was seeing someone else. The word "love" had not been tossed around between us like people do in their high school years when they love everyone they date.
He didn't even kiss me goodnight until the third date and it was 1965 when nice girl's didn't hop into bed with everyone they dated.  So, just where did I stand since I was hopelessly in love with him.

I followed him inside and sat down on the sofa.  He pulled up a chair and sat in front of me and took both my hands in his and said he was glad I made him answer the phone.  That he had needed to talk to me since our first date but never could come up with a way to start the conversation.  Then he told me the story about Sarah.

He and Sarah had been dating steadily since they were sixteen.  She went to college in St. Louis and he came to Columbia and he had been going to see her every other weekend for the past two years. Last year she quit school, went to work and decided it was time for him to move to St. Louis and they could get married. He had gone to summer school and loaded up on classes each year so that he could graduate and then go after his MBA before he even thought about getting married. Their weekends had turned into arguments and he realized that they both wanted different things out of life and whatever they had in high school had disappeared.  He had taken a few girls out in Columbia but didn't find anyone special until I came along.

At this point I was going to say something but he stopped me and wanted to finish what he needed to tell me.  He apologized for lying to me the first weekend when he sent me the flowers and said he had gone home for the weekend but would pick me up on Sunday at 3:00.  
He actually had gone to St. Louis to see Sarah and it had been another bad weekend with her.  Ever since that first date the only thing he wanted to do was to be with me and that he had worried all the time I was gone for the spring vacation that I would not want to see him when I got back to Columbia. Sarah had been calling and demanding he come to St. Louis but breaking up with her on the phone just did not seem to be the right thing to do.   If I agreed he would go on Saturday to talk to her and end their relationship.

Now it was my time to talk although it was difficult to know what to say.  First of all I told him that I had thought at times there was something going on with him that he had not told me and maybe that was what made me get him to answer the phone.  He did not need my permission to talk to Sarah but that he needed to do what he felt the best about.  There is no easy way to end a relationship especially one as long as they had and in a way I felt sorry for her. He seemed surprised at that but I told him that ever since our first date I had had trouble thinking about anything but him and could not imagine being without him.  I told him I had never been so at ease with anyone, that I felt like I could talk about anything with him and actually be myself.  I asked him if he really thought I would walk away because there had been someone else?  He admitted that he had been worried. Luckily by the time we finish talking it was time for me to get to the dorm by curfew.  It could have been one of those times that it would have been difficult to stay in the "1965 good girl syndrome".

Monday at 4:00 was my hearing by the Hall Council to decide my punishment for the 23 late minutes a month before. I dashed into the dorm at five minutes before 4:00 from class to find Barney sitting in the dorm lobby.  When I asked what he was doing there he said he came to find out what my punishment would be since he was the one who caused the problem. I didn't think I would be kicked out of school but who really knew. When I came out of the hearing smiling he knew it couldn't be bad.  After both of us worrying for a month I ended up having to come in one hour early on the next Saturday night.  Maybe sometimes worrying does pay off.

The rest of the week was busy.  Pam and I decided to room together the next year so we had to go pick out our room in one of the Senior dorms, our on-campus sorority had elections of officers for the next year, I was the director of the Montage television show on Thursday night besides all the usual classes.  Barney and I saw each other everyday and on Friday night we went to see the movie The Americanization of Emily.  That was a real poor choice since it was about a couple who met, fell in love and then parted.  I cried my eyes out which is never a pretty sight. 
Poor Barney was at a total loss over the tears especially since he was going to St. Louis the next day.  It was hard to convince him I was just crying over the movie....or maybe just needed a good cry.

I was not looking forward to Saturday but it got brighter when I arrived back from morning classes.  There were red roses and a card with the magic word neither Barney nor I had spoken.

Back From Spring Break

                                                                  Hugh Downs


Well walking in the door of the airport after deplaning the DC-3 Barney picked me up and twirled me around before giving me a huge kiss. That was a lifetime of outstanding greetings in one minute.  After picking up my suitcase full of books we headed off to dinner since I was starving as usual. The plane had taken off from Tulsa, barely got in the air before we landed in Joplin and then a very short flight to Columbia.  I am not sure I could have eaten if they had brought out food and what do you expect for a flight that had cost $12.60.

Dinner was interesting. When I told him about sitting next to Rin Tin Tin on the plane he laughed and said being with me was like a new adventure everyday.  He asked me more about my family, my knowledge of auto mechanics and hanging out with my little brother. That was all stuff we had never talked about in the month or so we had been dating. Guess in his world he had never met a girl who could change spark plugs and converse about engine parts and still behave as an ordinary girl.  He told me a lot about his family and growing up.  It was a surprise to realize we had been sitting there for two hours and it was time for me to check in at the dorm.

Back in the dorm everyone was telling stories of their vacations with the usual giggling and laughing that always happened with our little group. Pam had a wonderful time in New York and Sally was full of wild beach party stories. It was certainly a happy time for me to be back at school and I was very glad I had spent the vacation reading two books for Masterpieces of World Lit and written an English paper since school and activities were about to get very busy.

On Friday Hugh Downs and his wife came for the dedication of the new Helis Communication Center which housed all the Drama, Television, Radio and Film departments. He was the host on the Today Show and the game show Concentration.  His first television job had been as the announcer on the Tonight Show with Jack Paar.  Hugh Downs' wife was a 1941 graduate of Stephens College and was Hugh's first boss at a radio station in Chicago which is why they were invited for the dedication.  It was quite amazing to sit in one of the studios with Hugh Downs and the twenty or so television production students for two hours for a very informal talk with us asking questions.

We talked about production and current programming.  I still remember him saying that you could only improve what was currently on television by turning it off and reading a book or going to the movies. You should not just leave the television set on when there was nothing to watch.  Also to boycott products that had poor or false advertising.  As far as women in television, radio and film production the only way to break in was to be excellent at every aspect but be prepared to go in on the lowest rung of the ladder being ready to jump on any opportunity to show them what you could do.  

I was impressed by how down to earth and friendly Hugh Downs was and also that he was much nicer looking in person than on television.  All the set drawings we had done were posted on the wall and he very carefully looked at each one and autographed them for us.  It was a very proud moment when he singled mine out for the camera and light positions.  Guess I was learning something.  

Can you imagine having a boating and canoeing physical education class at 8:00 in the morning on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday?  
Somehow Cathie and I had signed up for it and did not think until that first Saturday morning that we had to be nuts.  First of all we had to hike out to the lake at 7:30 AM and then the other bad part was getting into a boat with Cathie.  Her favorite part of the class were the lessons in what to do if the boat turned over.  I think she could have turned over a forty foot yacht without trying very hard. Forget about not getting your hair wet back in the days when it took rollers and slow hairdryers to not look like a drowned rat for the rest of the day.  Forget that there was not enough time to change out of wet shorts or slacks for your next two classes.  We both appeared for Psychology and English clad in trench coats over dripping clothes. Guess that was not so bad considering some of the girls came in trench coats over their pajamas. Tuesday and Thursday were not quite as bad since I didn't have a class until 10:00 and could look halfway decent and fully clothed by then.

Saturday afternoon after I had put my hair back to looking respectful Sally, Woody, Pam and Cathie decided to go out to the lake.  Barney thought that sounded like fun so we all piled in his car and headed out. That was a fun afternoon in that Barney found out what a crazy group I really did live with.  No way was I going to get in a boat with Cathie so Sally and Woody were the ones to get soaked.  I picked a row boat so that Barney had to row while Pam and I got to ride.  Great afternoon - the start of the summer sunburn and lots of laughter.


Sunday Barney decided to show me he really could cook so we went to the grocery store and then to his place.  He did just a pretty great job of making spaghetti and meatballs, salad and garlic bread all by himself. Add a bottle of wine and it was better than going out.  While we were eating the phone rang and I noticed a funny look on his face.  He just said no one should bother us during dinner and did not answer it.  While we were doing dishes the phone rang again.  I told him he should answer it and that I would go outside.  He gave me a kiss and as I headed out the door I heard him say hello.  It was not even a very happy hello and definitely not the happy sounding  "Hey" I always got on the phone.

I sat on the steps for what seemed like hours but was actually only a few minutes.  The look  on his face and his reluctance to answer the phone sort of told me he knew it was not a call he wanted to answer with me there. I never did like listening to one side of a conversation which is why I ducked out the door.  Normally I am a really optimistic person but for some reason a real sense of dread crept through me.

Barney finally came out the door, sat down and put his arm around me. Then he asked if I was alright and perhaps my answer of "sure" was not real positive. 

Barney then said, "Come inside, I need to talk to you."

Muskogee Bound, Ready or Not

Finally arriving home to Muskogee for Spring Break was needless to say a relief after the nine hour bus ride.  It was also nice to have the whole family, Mom, Dad and brother Kenny there to pick me up. For a few moments I even forgot that I didn't get to go to a beach somewhere or some exciting big city.  On the way home most of the conversation centered on the fact that Continental Trailways did not advertise the number of gentlemen being leisurely and drinking from paper bags outside of the bus stations.  Can you picture what an ad like that would have looked like?

I had promised myself that I would be on my best behavior during my week home and not cause any family problems.  I even bounded out of bed at 5:00 AM every morning when Mom came to dust mop my room, helped Kenny fold newspapers for his route before he went to school and joined Mom for a cup of black coffee, which I hated, before she went off to work. By 8:30 everyone was out of the house and I was left without transportation. It was pretty quiet compared to the dorm.

At 9:00 AM the phone rang and the operator said she had a long distance call for Donna from Barney and would I accept. Of course I would and then there was that now familiar "Hey".  He must have known about the bus characters as he wanted to make sure that I had made it home alright. I told him all about the trip especially the story about how Mom had suddenly become concerned over the fact that maybe bus trips were not the thing for her daughter.  We did not talk long due to the long distance charges but it was nice to hear his voice.  


It felt good to throw on a sweat shirt and a pair of jeans after having to get dressed up everyday. Exploring the house, yard and two garages everything was in it's usual immaculate order.  When you have a mother who dust mops the parquet floors every morning and washes the windows every Saturday morning plus a Father who wipes the car off with a chamois every night things tend to be in order. They were certainly an interesting pair.  Even though I can remember Mother telling me one time they were just like all parents the older I got the more I realized that was not the case.

When I made to promise to myself that I would not cause any family problems during my week at home it meant that I would have to be very careful about what I talked about.  Mom did not want to hear about anything concerning my college days except class work and school stuff.  She was not paying money for me to have fun with friends and certainly not to meet boys and go out on dates, not that she said that out loud.  I knew from previous experience that those conversations would throw me into the category of someone not worthy of being spoken to.  

It would have been so neat to be able to tell Mom about all the silly things that my friends and I did or how much fun it was just to have girl friends.  I imagined that some Mothers would have gotten huge laughs out of some of the horrible dates I had been on and would have wanted to know everything about someone special I had met.  Ever since I was fourteen or fifteen every conversation with her had to guarded and I learned it was best just to agree with her on everything and never tell her how you felt about anything.

So I spent the week studying and hanging around with my brother, Kenny. Kenny was two years younger than me and was always the perfect child.  I can't remember Mother ever getting mad at him so I was safe cruising the local hangouts with him at night.  Chet's was the local hot dog stand where most of the high school kids hung out, The Corral was the place for the local hot rodders with the white t-shirts and the longer hair and Russ's was where everyone drove through or parked to watch who was driving through - that was Muskogee on any given night.  Kenny had been building cars since he was twelve so he knew every hot rodder in town as we rode around in his 55' Chevy. Our back garage was usually filled with guys wanting car parts or advice so Kenny and friends were my only source of fun while I was home.

Dad had me take him to work on Friday so I could have his car to check on my summer job.  It was fun to go out to Meadowbrook County Club and see Bob, my boss.  I had been the lifeguard at the pool the summer before and he wanted me to come back the next year.  He was glad to see me and hear I would be back.  We had become friends the previous summer and he caught me up on all the gossip since it seemed like I was always the only person he had to talk to.  People are fascinating.

By the end of the weekend I was ready to go back to Columbia.  I had gotten to spend time with my older brother, Paul, wife Joan and my darling little nephew, Don.  Mom had asked if I wanted to go to Tulsa and shop for clothes which I declined saying that I did not need any.  
Now what girl turns down a chance to shop?  That was easy for me since I really didn't want to spend that time in the car with her fearing I would say the wrong thing plus in my eighteen years of shopping with her I never got to purchase what I wanted.

Monday everyone went back to work and school so I had the house to myself again.  Barney called at 9:00 AM as usual.  We had talked on the phone everyday and I had called him a couple of times after Mom and Dad went to bed.  He told me he had gone out to Stephens Lake on Sunday to read a book but had trouble reading because he missed me being there with him.  How come this guy keeps surprising me with statements like that?  This isn't the movies which is the only place guys say things like that.  I finally admitted to him that the days had really dragged by and I thought about him all the time.  He laughed and said good, that he was afraid I would be having too much fun to even think about him.

Well, that conversation made the day go by at a snails pace.  Mother came home with new travel plans for me to get back to school. If I flew from Tulsa to Kansas City it would be $42.00 plus I would still need to ride a bus the seventy miles to Columbia. ( Could not suggest that Barney would have come to Kansas City to get me.) So the plan was for me to fly from Tulsa to Columbia on Ozark Airlines and it would only cost $12.60 and I could get a cab from the airport to Stephens. That sounded like an excellent plan as I did not really want to go through another nine hour bus trip.

Cathie called on Tuesday and said she was ready to get back to school.  None of her friends in Midland were on Spring Break either so she had been hanging out at home too.  Maybe my family was not the only one that was difficult to deal with or maybe we were just beginning to enjoy being more on our own.

Kenny skipped school and took me to Tulsa on Wednesday to fly back to Columbia.  I think my Dad was almost in tears when Kenny and I stopped by the drugstore to say goodbye.  He gave me some money to buy clothes in Columbia since he knew why I did not want to go to Tulsa with Mom.  I know he missed having me around more than anyone.

For some reason I never got on an airplane and sat next to a normal type person.  If there was a character of some type on the plane - that is who sat next to me.  This time I got to sit next to a German Shepard.
There was a blind woman and her little girl across the aisle that needed to sit together so I got the dog.  He wasn't much for conversation but at least I got the window seat.  The airport in Columbia was pretty small and as we came in for a landing I could see the Barneymobile in the parking lot.  I wanted to kiss Rin Tin Tin goodbye and tell him how happy I was to be back but I didn't think he would understand.

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ He seemed to know more about the bus characters than I did and was concerned.  He had no plans for the week except to hang out and get some studying done.  

Learning New Things About Someone

I am not very good at asking questions.  Maybe that is something I learned growing up as the usual answer I got was "no" when I asked to go somewhere or do something.  Barney had asked me to study together on a Sunday afternoon and it had never dawned on me to ask where was the studying going to take place.  Of course I had said great but were we going to a library or the lake as it made a difference in what I was going to take to study. I also had not ever asked if he lived in a dorm, a house or an apartment.

He arrived at 1:00 to find me sitting outside the dorm armed with a variety of assignments I had to get done by Tuesday.  When we got in his car he said that I had already broken two of the three cardinal rules of Stephens by drinking and being out of the county at night, how did I feel about breaking the third rule?  What the heck, I might as well go for three out of three.   There was some apprehension in going off to his living quarters, as Stephens called them, since I had only known him for a week and a half.  

As we drove across town he told me he had lived in the dorm his first year at Mizzou and didn't like it very much. He looked for an apartment but found that they were expensive and noisy with all the other college students.  So he bought a house trailer from a graduating student.  That way he had his own place to live and study plus selling it when he graduated would pay for his living expenses.   Maybe only 4.0 Eagle Scout students think of things like that.

I have to admit that was the first house trailer I had ever been in and it was pretty neat.  As he showed me around I noticed lots of books, no television, no pictures of past girl friends and yes, I did look in the refrigerator to see that he did not cook much.  There was also no dust on the baseboards so he got an A for housekeeping. I think he got a big kick out of it when I only peeked at the bedroom for a second and then dashed back to the living area.  While laughing he acted liked he had just suddenly remembered that he had invited me over to study.  Then it was down to the business of studying.

He had a paper to type and I had some set drawings to do for the television class or a book to read for Masterpieces of World Literature. I chose not to read the book since it was Wuthering Heights and I knew I would be a crying mess reading it.  So I got the kitchen table for the big drawings and he put his typewriter on the coffee table.  The paper he was typing was on Economics and all he had to work from was a one page neatly typed outline, the kind every English teacher tries to teach students to do.  I must say I was quite impressed with the speed of the typewriter keys. Scratch the thought of ever getting into a typing contest with him.

I guess we worked about a couple of hours with a little conversation every once in awhile when all of a sudden while the typing was going on I heard him singing "Oklahoma where the wind comes sweeping down the plain and the waving wheat can sure smell sweet when the wind comes right behind the rain."  I literally cracked up.  He smiled and went right on typing.  It took me awhile to come back at him when I suddenly remembered that he was from Kansas City.  That was easy so I sang "Goinin' to Kansas City, Kansas City here I come.  They got some pretty little  girls there and you'd better not get one."  That got him and he even had to stop typing because of laughter.  He told me that was not actually the words and I told him my words were better than the original ones.

In a couple of more hours he had a twenty page essay done complete with footnotes and no typing errors  and I had two set drawings done for a show similar to the Today show.  His friends, Mike and Christine, that had gone to Jefferson City with us came by and asked if we wanted to meet them for dinner in town.  Even though Mike kept referring to me as Cinderella I thought it would be fun especially since I was starving.

After dinner Barney, even though it was getting to be time for me to check in the dorm, he drove out by the football field and parked.  Barney laughed and said he didn't like to tell lies and by parking at the stadium some of his story to keep me out of trouble was now true.  Then he went on to say that he had seen me around Columbia several times during the year and I was always laughing and looked like I was having fun.  That was why he decided to ask me out and that I was the first thing he thought about every morning and the last thing at night.  
I was speechless as he gave me a quick kiss, started the car and told me he had to get me home before I turned into a pumpkin.  As I snuggled up against him I told him that I would not turn into a pumpkin his car would. Not only did he need to study up on fairy tales he need to drive better while laughing.

It was only two days until we were out of school for Spring Break and both days were incredibly busy for me with classes and sorority stuff.  
Barney had class on Monday night so we managed to meet for lunch each day.  It seemed like everyone was flying out on Wednesday to some place fun, Pam to New York City to visit with some of her Dad's family and Sally would be off to spend the week on the beach in Panama City, Florida.  Several girls were going to Hawaii with a girl from there.  Guess my parents had watched enough Beach Party movies to rationalize that I just needed to come home for the week.

                           No chance I could be like Gidget this year

My parents decided that it was too expensive for me to fly home and then have to be picked up in Tulsa so I got to make the 350 mile trip via Continental Trailways.  Barney took me to the bus station along with my suitcase packed with books thus time instead of too many clothes. He promised to call and pick me up the following week. He did not seem any happier to see me leave than I was in going.  The nine hour bus ride stopped being interesting by the time we got to Joplin.  I know the bus stopped at every town with a population of more than fifty people.  The parents were not too pleased that the bus arrived at 11:30 PM which was way past their bedtime.  I think the man who was drinking something out of a paper bag by the door of the bus station may have given her second thoughts about further bus ride trips for me.


Maybe Spring Break starting off a little bad would make the rest of the week better. One can hope.